It's been two long years since he left but the pain and loneliness are so fresh it could have been yesterday. I hide it well and no one knows, not Bobby or Jean or Storm, not even the Professor. It helps to have two unreadable, unreachable characters like Wolverine and Magneto residing in my head. With their presences' I find it easier to resist or even avoid the telepathic powers of Professor Xavier and others like him. I find it harder to trick everyone, to lie to everyone, but not that much harder.

I've waited day in and day out for him to come back to me, to us. After 6 months I began to wonder if he even remembered his promise. Than a package arrived the day before March 24th, my birthday. I was turning seventeen, a milestone for any girl my age but even so I didn't really feel like celebrating. The postmark on the parcel read Italy and I wondered how he managed such a feat. As an unknown person with no past or name you can't exactly use credit cards and shopping had never really been his thing. I felt special just knowing he went through the trouble and that was before I opened the box. Inside a dozen pair of designer gloves, the finest quality money can buy. Each & every pair fit perfectly, like a second set of skin. And only a single pair (a rich chocolate brown leather) hid my hands from view. The others were constructed of silk, nylon, a sheer spun cotton, and lace, designed to protect but not to conceal. For the first time since discovering my mutant abilities I could feel the wind and the sun upon my hands. And it felt like heaven. Only Wolverine could choose such a gift. He knew what it was like for me to always have to conceal myself, my body, from others. He knew the pain, frustration and hurt it caused me. Only he realized what it would mean for me to be able to show a little bit of myself. Tucked in with the gloves I found a note. Short and blunt as is his way it read- "Marie, Happy Birthday Kid. Never hide who you are. L."

Then there wasn't another blessed thing for months. I, of course, pretended like it didn't bother me, when in truth it killed me inside not knowing if he was okay or if he was finding what he was searching for. I began to "date" Bobby and even for a while tricked myself into believing I cared for him. I immersed myself in school and the institute. I joined Drama and learned how to cry on cue, a trick that came very easy to me, as all I had to do to make the tears flow was think of Wolverine. I learned to play the drums and drove everyone with in hearing range crazy with my hours long practice sessions. I also learned to smoke, an addiction I carefully guarded from everyone. Though Mr. Summers, Cyclops, almost caught me once. I think the only thing that kept him from realizing what I was doing is that he couldn't believe that quiet sweet little ol' me would smoke or does smoke big stinky cigars! If he knew about my capacity to drink staggering amounts of alcoholic beverages, particularly beer and whiskey, he just might drop dead of shock! Both are traits I've seemed to develop after my encounters touching Wolverine. I kind of like it. Sometimes there isn't anything better than relaxing with a good cigar and a couple of shots of fine whiskey.

Than on Christmas another package arrived, this one giving away not a single clue as to the whereabouts of its sender. But than nether had had its' predecessor (my birthday present). The package was larger than the last one I soon found out why. Inside was a large stuffed animal that I, at first, didn't recognize. It was actually Dr. McCoy the resident doctor, who identified the creature. He had sent me a wolverine! A toy copy of the animal from which he got his code name. Only myself, Professor X and Dr. McCoy seemed to catch on to the joke. Though Dr. McCoy has never met Wolverine he has great respect for his "witty sense of humor". I think Logan will like Dr. McCoy and not just because they have so much in common. Another box was enclosed in the larger one, containing a beautiful gold pen set and a satin covered journal. A note tucked in its pages as equally short as the last had been. It read: "Marie, Merry X-mas Kiddo. Don't exactly know why I got this, guess it reminded me of ya and the promises I made. Take care of yourself. L."

It is that journal in which I am writing this now. I wrote my first entry the very day I got it and I haven't stopped writing since. Pouring out all my hopes, fears, problems and even how I spend my days into this container of thoughts and words. And at least once a week, every week, he is the subject. Even though he has been gone for so long and I am separated from he by not only time but space as well, he is never far from my thoughts or my heart.

****** Well what do you think so far? By the by, can't remember but does Logan know he's called Wolverine in the first movie? I'm pretty sure he does cause isn't that the name he fights under?

Heaps of thanks to LiRa and Blaze for my first reviews. I can see this is going to be addicting. And thanks to countryblue (u know who you are) for writing me back. And I would also like to say that I in no way, shape, or form endorse smoking. As LiRa pointed out it is bad for you. Hope you like what's here guys. Hope you write soon too.

Please review even if you hate it.