Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of LOTR. They belong to Tolkien (god rest his soul). The only characters I own are the ones of my own design. If you sue me, I won't be able to pay my college tuition, rent, car insurance, or for food for my kitty. You don't want to starve my poor kitty, do you?

I suppose a few notes on myself are in order. This is not my first fic, though it's my first LOTR fanfic. I wrote a few Gundam Wing and DBZ fics a loooong time ago under the incredibly imaginative moniker of "me". FF.net has most likely wiped them all since they were all NC-17. Oh well. This fic should probably be rated as such, but for much different reasons. When not writing about the more mundane things such as life and living under weird circumstances, or things of a more adult nature, I tend to write horrible, graphic violence. It's scary. The noise in my head that I call ideas tend to be very gruesome. Hence the following warning. This takes place after the Battle of Helm's Deep. I don't know yet if it matters if it's movie or book universe, so please bear with me.

WARNING: GRAPHIC VIOLENCE WILL ENSUE. IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18, PLEASE GO ELSEWHERE. I DON'T WANT FLAMES FROM ENRAGED PARENTS. IF YOU ARE EASILY SICKENED, I ASK YOU TO PLEASE SPARE YOUR STOMACH THE GRIEF AND READ SOMEONE ELSE'S FIC. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU.

Legolas: This can't be good. Aragorn: Do you think if we ran we could escape? Steffiecan: No. You will be in this fic, or you'll wind up boinking each other senseless in front of all your friends. While they laugh at you. Both: Ouch.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------

"Thanks for the ride back to college, Sam" Dionne said, relaxing in the passanger seat of the '93 Pontiac. Trees and lots of grassland whizzed by as they sped along the lonely highway. They were on their way back to college after Spring Break.
"No problem. It was nice of you to come down to Philly instead of making me take the trip up to New York to get you, then drive all the way out to Nowhere, PA. Why couldn't the stupid college directors put the college near, say, something?" Sam asked, pushing her short dark curls behind her ear.
"Because they're stupid. And anyway, this school is the cheapest one for you, isn't it?" Dionne asked. She tried getting something on the radio, but since they were in that vast stretch of land that always comes between somewhere and nowhere, there was nothing. She popped in a cd that was in the case near the player and waited for the music to start. Manson's somewhat scratchy voice came out of the player and she immediately turned it off. "God he's creepy. I don't know why you listen to him."
"I listen because I like the music. And yes, this school is cheap, but I'll never understand why you didn't just go to NYC. It would've been cheaper for you. I have a Pink cd somewhere around here" Sam said, momentarily taking her eyes off the road to help look for the cd.
"I got it, you just watch the road. I don't feel like getting into an accident out here. Verizon charges way too much for me to have to call 911 during the day" Dionne said, laughing. Soon both girls were singing along with the cd as they flew down the highway at 75 miles an hour.

About an hour later, the girls were singing along with Mary J. Blige as they searched for a rest stop. As they rounded a sharp bend, they saw a deer in the road. Deer are large animals, and Sam new that hitting this animal would not only be sad, but probably the end of both of them if hit at their current speed. She honked the horn and swerved to avoid the animal. The deer suddenly leapt towards the car, causing Sam to swerve further, not realizing that the move would take her off the road. Both girls screamed as the car plunged into the trees that surrounded the road.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------

Gandalf was talking with Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli when one of Theoden's soldiers rode up to them.
"We were following some orcs, when the ambushed us and waylaid one of our men. Should we go after them?"
"How many were there?" Aragorn asked.
"Not many, my lord. Ten, maybe fifteen at most. They went into the forest."
Aragorn looked at the others as he thought what would be best to do. Theoden's men were still recuperating from the grueling battle of the night before. Then he said, "Legolas and I will go. It won't take long for us to hunt them down and kill them. We'll meet everyone at Orthanc when we're through." At this Gimli protested, but Aragorn assured him that the additional orc killing wouldn't count towards the game he and Legolas were playing, and that Legolas' horse would be slower with two people. Gimli grudgingly agreed not to go and then the two were off.

When Aragorn and Legolas got to the edge of the forest, they dismounted and left their steeds to wander about on the grass. They entered the forest and began looking for signs of the little band of orcs.
"How do you suppose the orcs escaped the battle? Or the trees brought by the Ents?" Legolas asked.
"I don't know. They must have been lucky and passed through the trees diagonally and ended up on the plains. From there they must have sought refuge in the forest, intending to return to Orthanc and Saruman." Aragorn studied the ground intently for a few moments, then found what he was looking for. "Here. Twelve of the filthy beasts passed this way and headed deeper into the woods."
The two men set off deeper into the woods, following the trail.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------

Sam woke up slowly, and with the knowledge that she hurt. She didn't hurt very badly, and seemed to be resting on a very uncomfortable pillow. Airbags. why am I laying on the airbag? Oh. the deer. she thought. She tried looking around without moving her head to much, and was struck by a small drop of blood on her arm. Without leaning up, she turned her head slowly to see if Dionne was alright. She appeared to still be breathing, her dark skin in stark contrast to the white airbag. Why am I noticing the contrast of colors? That's the stupidest thing to think of in this situation! "Dionne, are you ok?" she asked. She was immensely relieved when the other girl's eyes opened slowly and she nodded.
"I think so. That sucked, though. A lot."
"I know. I'm not insured for crazy animals, so I'm out a car until I can scrounge enough to get another. Unless the deer had insurance?"
"Deer never have insurance. That way they can blame the motorist for everything and collect huge."
"Just my luck. A deer with a taste for doe."
"You suck at puns."
"I know. Shall we try to get out of the car?"
"Let's."
Slowly the girls got out of the car. It was difficult since the car had crumpled slightly upon hitting a rather gnarled tree. The tree had splintered badly and looked like it might fall on the car at any moment. Dionne tried calling the police, but couldn't get a signal.
"It figures. Verizon probably doesn't have service out here. Try yours."
Sam tried, but got only static. "I'm on Verizon, too. No luck."
"Maybe we should try to get back to the road. Maybe a cop or farmer or someone will drive by and we can get help."
Sam nodded. "Ok. But first, we should get something we can defend ourselves with. I don't want to get stuck with some crazy person out here. Too much bad luck already" she said.
Dionne reached into the back seat and pulled out a box cutter. "You know, I had really hoped to only use this for cutting packages from my mom. I hope it stays that way. You think we should grab the water, too? It might be awhile."
"Yeah. Might as well grab all the food we have left. We can have a roadside picnic with the road kill" Sam said, grabbing the little bit of food they had.
Dionne laughed and grabbed the two water bottles. "You have a weird sense of humor, girl."
"But you love me for it."
The girls started walking in the direction they thought the road was in, confident that they would be picnicking at the side of the road and waiting for assistance in no time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------

Aragorn and Legolas stared at the sight before them. There were twelve orcs indeed, but not as they had expected. All of them had been brutally killed, and the remains lay scattered about the forest.
"Did the trees do this?" Legolas asked. Even he was disgusted by what had happened to the orcs.
"No. There would have been no sign of them. This is just. sickening" Aragorn said. He surveyed the carngage, trying to figure out what happened. He pointed a little ways off. "The attack started from there. At least, many of the heads are pointed in that direction. I don't think there was a large party, and I can't find more than four sets of footprints. Humans, all of them by the look. Elves walk lighter, and Dwarves heavier. They lead in that direction. I think they were running" Aragorn said, pointing past the carnage farther into the forest.
"Should we go after them?" Legolas asked.
Aragorn thought for a few moments, then nodded. "I think we should. Maybe we can get the ones that did this to join us. We need all the men we can get to help us in this war."
The two men then had a job of crossing the little battlefield. Blood was everywhere, as were various orc-parts. Legolas stared in disbelief at two trees that stood in the direction they were going in. Strung through some low hanging branches were orc intestines, with a pair of arms dangling from either end. He wondered briefly if this was a good idea. Trusting Aragorn's assumption that these people had just really really hated orcs, he trodded silently after his friend, carefully keeping watch on either side.

After following the trail for a little way, Aragorn suddenly stopped. He studied the ground intently as if puzzled by something.
"What is it?" the elf asked.
"One of them must have been injured, because two of the other sets of footprints are set deeper and the fourth disappears altogether. See, here two of them get on either side of the man and must have picked him up. They turn that way" he said, pointing.
Legolas was liking this situation less and less. They were now looking for a wounded soldier and three maniacs. He didn't care if they were orcs or not, when in battle you didn't take the time to rip your opponent to shreds. The elf wasn't so sure he wanted these people to be in any war, indeed, he wanted them to stay lost in these woods forever. He was just about to tell Aragorn so when his friends trotted off to follow the trail. I'll tell him in a little while. Besides, what if I'm wrong?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------

Sam was the first to spot the little shack in the clearing. "Dionne! C'mere!"
Dionne walked up next to her friend. "What is it?"
"A house. Maybe they have a phone we can use, or some Tylenol. My head is starting to hurt." Sam said pressing her fingers to her temples.
"I bet they have a bathroom, too. Let's go check it out" Dionne said. She started walking towards the little shack with Sam close behind her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------

A/N: That's all for now. I'll continue the story in a little. I'm done writing for the moment. Comments would be appreciated. Feel free to ask questions as well. I'm waiting until the next chapter to bring the two little parties together. The warning will be needed for the next chapter. Be warned again.

P.S - I suck at thinking up titles. This one will have to do since it's all I could think of at this particular moment.

~Steffiechan