Airtight's Creation

Chapter 3: Fightin' 'round the Pit!

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"Duke!" Airtight ran into the Joe meeting room, Beast not far behind. He saw several Joes there as well as Storm and Logan. "I take it the good professor is unavailable?"

"He had to go to another conference." Beast explained.

"No kidding." Storm sighed. They heard noise from outside. It was Scott screaming.

"OKAY JEAN!!! OKAY!!! I'M SORRY!!! I'M SORRY!!!"

"What did that guy get himself into?" Lionheart snickered.

"Hoo boy." Low Light groaned.

"That Summers is whipped." Shipwreck snickered under his breath.

"Anyway..." Duke went to a big screen. He punched up and image of the Silver Samurai. "Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kenichiro Harada. He is known as the Silver Samurai. He has the ability to channel the elements in his katana."

"A mutant samurai? Now I've seen everything." The ever-quipping Lionheart whistled.

"Stormshadow, help me out here." A white-clad ninja stood up and walked to the image of the Silver Samurai.

"Harada leads the Yashida clan of warriors in Japan. The Yashida clan is infamous for performing underhanded dealings. The Yashida clan are the arch- rivals of the clan I used to work for. It is believed that the Silver Samurai has been doing some business deals with Cobra."

"What does this silver-clad Meiji reject have to do with anything?" Bulldog asked.

"We think that Cobra might be calling upon Harada to help with their latest scheme."

"What is their latest scheme?" Logan asked.

"No idea. Strange enough, things have been awfully quiet from the Cobra front." Duke shrugged in concern.

"Which can only mean something big is cookin' up." Cover Girl reasoned.

"Mmm." Bulldog nodded in agreement. "It's a bloody big puzzle we got on our hands."

"Who knows what is going on with Cobra?" Low Light groaned.

"Like that time Mystique posed as Cobra Commander." Beast chuckled.

"Yeah, but I think this guy's the real commander here." Lionheart smirked.

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"Gambit's arms hurt, Gambit's legs hurt, Gambit's pride hurt..." Remy chanted with a whine. He and Peter were staggering to see Lifeline. They saw Rogue and Kitty chase Paul, and they bristled.

"Ugh. Remy sick of it. Dere's gotta be a way to take out dat infernal Starchild." Peter observed the chasing.

"Sugah, mama wants a cuddle!" Rogue cried out.

"Like, don't run away, Paul!" Kitty cooed.

"Paul Starr is a good-for-nothing, woman-stealing..." Peter then proceeded to spit out a bunch of Russian curses under his breath. Gambit started cursing in French. He two teens then continued on their way. Meanwhile, Scott and Ray were busy thinking up a new way to take out Paul.

"We could...Naw, wouldn't work." Scott grumbled.

"Every single time, that Starr gets the best of us!" Ray groaned. "I still have nightmares about that Tabitha did to me at the gym."

"You think you have it bad?" Scott grumbled. "I still have flashbacks about what Jean did to me in front of that club." His eyes then widened. "AHHHHH!!!! NOOOOO!!!! I'M SORRYYYYY!!!! I'M SORRYYYYYY!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!" He looked like he was shell-shocked. Ray shook him.

"Cyclops! Snap out of it!" Ray shook Scott out of it. A sweating and panting Scott snapped back to reality.

"Thanks, Berzerker. I needed that." Scott moaned. "I've been having flashes of that ever since. No thanks to Paul."

"No kidding." Berzerker whistled.

"We gotta stop Paul. For all our sakes." Scott told Ray.

"I can help. I got a plan." A voice said. Scott and Ray turned and saw Shipwreck. "I wanna get rid of a certain woman-stealing Brit myself. Maybe we can kill two birds with one stone."

"Alright." Scott and Shipwreck shook hands. (A/N: Uh oh! Starchild and Bulldog are in trouble now. Or are they?)

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"HELP MEEEE!!!!" Barbecue yelled as he ran by, Lionheart hot on his heels.

"C'mere, you New England cutie!" Lionheart squealed. The Joes ran past a snickering Wanda and a silent Craig. The two teens were sitting on a couple boxes.

"Poor Barbecue. I think Lionheart's going to have a couple hundred restraining orders on her hands." Wanda laughed.

"If I were Barbecue, I'd get out of GI Joe now." Craig grumbled.

"You're just jealous because you don't have someone to chase after you." Wanda smirked at Darkstar. Craig shot Scarlet Witch a dark look.

"Don't get any ideas, Wanda." Darkstar growled. "It was bad enough that I was forced to go out on a date with you. That was so stupid."

"You liked it." Wanda grinned. "Admit it."

"I did not."

"Yeah you did! Your eyes are sparkling." Wanda laughed. "When will you admit it?" She scooted closer to the ex-gang member, making him blush. "See? You're blushing."

"It's just warm out." Craig said weakly.

"If it's so warm, take your jacket off." Wanda said matter-of-factly. Craig did so, but it only made his blush seem even more obvious. "It's not really warm out, Darkstar."

"You're crossing a line, Wanda." Craig glared. "A very thin line. And it's called my patience!"

"Admit you liked the date, then I'll leave you alone." Wanda smirked.

"I did not, now leave me alone you crazy woman!" Craig snapped. "Ever since that date, you have been driving me crazy!"

"C'mon Craig, you are in denial."

"Prove that I liked it." Craig huffed, walking off.

"Well then." Wanda thought. "I guess I'll make you have to admit it."

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Scott, Shipwreck, and Ray wheeled a catapult to a courtyard. The catapult was full of paint balloons.

"You tried this, and Cover Girl nearly slit your throat." Scott reminded.

"That's because I wasn't careful." Shipwreck said. "Now, I've taken great care to properly aim this thing."

"I hope so." Ray peeked through a pair of binoculars. Paul was being chased by the X-Girls, while Bulldog and Storm were conversing. Storm appeared to laugh at a few things Bulldog said. "Okay."

"Fire in the hole!" Scott said as shipwreck let the balloons fly. However, as expected, something went wrong. The wind caused the balloons to land on Storm and the X-Girls.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!" They screamed.

"What the--?" Bulldog looked through a pair of foldable binoculars he carried. He growled. "I should've known. Shipwreck."

"Why am I not surprised?" An enraged Storm rolled up her sleeves.

"No. Allow me." Bulldog marched up to Shipwreck. He let out a whistle. "Davey Boy!" He pointed to Shipwreck. "Kill!"

"RUN!!!" Shipwreck ran off, Bulldog and Davey Boy hot on his heels. Paul noticed two other figures.

"Hey Scott! Hey Ray!" Paul waved good-naturedly. "What's with the catapult?"

"Oh shoot." The two X-Boys said together.

"SCOTT SUMMERS!!! YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT!!!" Jean screamed.

"RAY, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!!" Tabitha screamed.

"AHHHHHH!!!!" Scott and Ray ran off, raging X-Girls after them. Paul looked at a paint-covered Storm.

"Storm, you do a great tie-dye impersonation." Paul grinned, giving a thumbs-up. "You look totally stellar!" Storm sighed.

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"Heh heh heh heh heh heh." Pietro dialed a cell phone, grinning. Xi and Blob walked up to him. "Hello?" Pietro held his nose and spoke in a funny voice. "Hello, Joe's Bar? I'd like to speak to a Butthead. First name: Ima." Pietro started snickering.

"What is he doing?" Xi asked Fred.

"Crank call." Fred said. "Pietro's pulling a prank over the phone."

"Wow! What will they think up next?" Xi shook his head.

"Okay, let me check." The bartender said over the phone. "Is there an Ima Butthead here? Hello? Hey! Ima Butthead!" Pietro burst out laughing. Bar patrons could be heard laughing over the phone. "Hey wait a minute...It's you! Again! URRRRGH!!! Let me tell you something, pal! I don't appreciate this! When I find out who you are, I'm gonna catch you! Then, I'm gonna boil your intestines and hang your head on my wall!" Pietro hit the "END" button, laughing like he just heard the funniest joke ever.

"Pietro, I think he was serious this time." Blob sighed. "I think he might get caller ID one day."

"Caller ID. Spelt the end for crank calls." Pietro sighed. "I can't stand it."

"Could be worse. The guy could've had a videophone." Xi reminded.

"YOU ARE A DEAD YANK, SHIPWRECK!!!!" Shipwreck ran in terror, a fighting mad Bulldog and a barking Davey Boy behind him.

"I have a feeling that Shipwreck is not going to live much longer." Xi noted. Pietro and Fred nodded in agreement.

"RAY, AH'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!" Rogue's voice carried out. Ray ran by, followed by Rogue, who looked like a tie-dye t-shirt. Xi, Fred, and Pietro laughed.

"Hey Roguey, love the new look!" Pietro laughed.

"Ray must've tried to take out Starchild." Xi deduced.

"SCOTT!!! GET BACK HERE!!!" Scott was chased by an enraged Magma. Amara was in her fiery form, and she was pitching fireballs.

"When'll they learn?" Pietro sighed. "Paul Starr has so much luck, he could be a leprechaun!"

"In purple? Leprechauns wear green, dude." Fred reminded. "And leprechauns are from Ireland. Paul is from Los Angeles."

"You know what I mean." Pietro glared.

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Cobra's forces were parked a few miles away from the Pit. Cobra Commander was observing from the top of a HISS tank.

"Those stupid Joes are so busy with their own craziness that they don't even know we're here." Silver Samurai looked at his katana.

"I will destroy that insult that Joe created." The mutant growled.

"We need that robot!" Destro snapped.

"Its mere existence insults my honor!" Harada snapped back.

"Careful Harada, your clan's strength owes itself to Cobra." Cobra Commander warned. He looked around inside the tank. "Aw great, I lost my thermos." Meanwhile, the Dreadnoks were waiting to strike as well.

"This is bloody boring!" Torch snapped.

"If I wanted to wait for nothing, I would've stayed back in the lair and watched a soap opera." Ripper grumbled.

"We forgot the booze." Buzzer realized.

"You people are so stupid!" Zarana sighed in annoyance. She noticed Zanya preening herself in front of a small mirror. "That's pretty strange for you, Zanya. What're you dolling yourself up for?"

"I want to look my best so I can win my beloved Starchild." The young green- haired Dreadnok sighed longingly. "Oh Paul..." She thought about the superstar. "I know it's meant to be between us."

"It must be genetic with the women in that family." Ripper grumbled.

"Yeah." Monkeywrench snickered. "Zarana's after a bloody Joe, and Zanya's after that crazy glam Misfit." Zarana bonked him on the head. "OWCH!!!" Zanya gave him a hit of her own. "OWWCH!!!"

"When do we attack?" Zandar asked.

"Any minute now, I hope." Zartan grumbled.

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"Man, I need a break." Barbecue panted. He stopped to rest in front of a Joe Dragonfly. "That crazy Englishwoman's been chasing me for the past hour! I swear! She's got never-ending stamina." His eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice.

"Barrrrbecuuuuuue! Yooooo-hoooooo! Where are yoooooooou?" Lionheart sang out.

"Aw man, I gotta hide!" Barbecue jumped in the Dragonfly. He scooted into the cockpit, hoping to make himself unseen. Lionheart ran past and looked around the Dragonfly. She was left scratching her head. "Now where could he have gone? Man, why does he play so hard to get at times?" Lionheart ran on, calling for Barbecue. The fireman peeked up.

"Whew." He wiped some sweat from his brow. Suddenly, he noticed a missile head towards him. "What the--?" He quickly got out and ran away just before the missile hit, making the green Joe flying machine explode with a KABOOM!!! "Aw man, something tells me that this is not a result of one of Leatherneck and Wet Suit's debates." He noticed Cobra rattlers flying towards the base from the distance. He also heard the warning alarm. "Here we go." The fireman ran to get his equipment.

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"LLLLLLLET'S GET RRRRRRREADY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!" Paul laughed, impersonating legendary boxing announcer Michael Buffer.

"Paul, we're about to battle!" Craig snapped. "Try to keep your big mouth shut." The X-Men and the Misfits were in uniform. Of course, the X-Girls were cooing over how cute Paul looked in his costume.

"I say we use Starchild as a human shield." Scott suggested. "OW!!!" Jean bonked him on the head. Paul walked up to Logan.

"Well pilgrim, looks like some cattle decided to do some stampedin'. I guess we gotta round 'em up and take 'em back to the corral." Paul said to Wolverine, as John Wayne. Jinx, who was standing next to Logan, burst out laughing.

"Starchild, let me ask you something, mutant-to-mutant." Logan shook his head. "Are you on any medication that as a fellow fighter in this battle, I should be made aware of?" Paul gave Logan a blank look. He then started to think.

"Paul's thinking. This could take a while." Pietro quipped.

"COOOOOOOOOBRAAAAAAAA!!!!" Cobra Hiss tanks and Rattler jets approached the base at full speed, guns ablaze.

"Wanda, Paul, Craig! Take out those jets!" Althea ordered.

"No problem!" Paul smiled. He fired his eye laser, blasting a Rattler. "I got one!" Craig and Wanda were pitching hex-bolts at the Rattlers. Scott, Ray, and Amara helped by firing their optic beams, thunderbolts, and fireballs. Jean used her telepathy to immobilize the tanks, and Tabitha used her time bombs to blow them open. Storm created fog to confuse the Rattlers and the ground troops. The rest of the X-Men, the Misfits, and the Joes dealt with the ground troops.

"HIYAAAAAA!!!!" Silver Samurai charged his blade with thunder, then leapt into the Pit. Once he did, he sliced his katana. The thunder was fired in arc.

"Look out!" Lionheart warned, but the blast of electricity hit the teen mutants and the Joes, shocking them.

"I WANT THE ONE WHO BUILT THE ROBOT!!!" Silver Samurai screamed. "I WILL RESTORE MY HONOR!!!" The robotic samurai leapt into action, thanks to Airtight. Silver Samurai looked at Airtight. He pointed his katana at him. "You...You conceived this abomination! You think that this metal man can pose for a real samurai? It is a mere machine! A machine cannot be a samurai!"

"Ugh...This guy has problems." Craig grumbled.

"No kidding." Paul agreed.

"Who is he?" Todd asked.

"The Silver Samurai." Beast explained. "He's a mutant as well. He can channel the elements into his sword."

"Bloody terrific." Bulldog grumbled.

"You must pay for this insult with your life!" Silver Samurai sped towards Airtight. The Joe smirked as the Samurai-Tron blocked Harada's katana slash with its own katana.

"I don't think so. I meant no offense. I thought a samurai would make a great model for a cybernetic warrior. After all, samurai are known for their power and honor." Airtight grinned.

"Forgive me if I don't think too highly of your TRIBUTE!!!!" Harada and the Samurai-Tron started their swordplay. Meanwhile, the Cobra Vipers and the Joes, X-Men, and Misfits were brawling.

"Hey wait! Look!" One Viper pointed at the sword melee. Everyone stopped and watched the battle between the Silver Samurai and Airtight's Samurai- Tron.

"Wow." Pietro whistled. "Airtight outdid himself. That thing's going blow- for-blow."

"You know what to do." Lance told Todd. Toad nodded. Avalanche and Todd ran into a building and grabbed a table and a couple chairs. They set the furniture up and sat at the table. Lance put on a black cowboy hat, and Todd put on a golden crown.

"Oh God, here they go again." Althea snickered.

"Well King, the Samurai-Tron and the Silver Samurai are in a slobberknocker of a match. OH MAH GAWD, KING!!!! The Samurai-Tron just slashed the Silver Samurai like a scalded dog!" Lance yelled in an Oklahoma accent.

"AAAHH!!! You're not kidding, JR!! That Samurai-Tron is, as you would say, loonier than a pet coon! When do we get to see puppies?" Toad retorted, putting a higher pitch in his voice.

"Those two are knuckleheads." Zandar grumbled, pointing at Todd and Lance.

"I dunno. Avalanche pulls off a pretty good JR." Ripper grinned. "And the Toad does a good job portraying the King."

"Starchild, check around the base. Make sure there are no ambushes." Althea ordered.

"Consider it done, boss." Paul saluted and ran off. Tabitha and Zanya noticed Starchild run off. They thought the same thing at the same time.

"Finally, my big chance to be with my Paul." The two girls pursued Starchild. Paul ran up to the roof of the tallest Building in the Joe base, and pulled out a pair of folding binoculars from his jacket and looked around.

"Let's see..." Paul looked around. "The guys...blown-up vehicles...compost heap...trees...more trees...big rock...buildings...eyes...Hey wait." Paul turned, and a huge pair of eyes appeared in his vision. "Now that's odd." Paul put down the binoculars and the eyes were revealed to be Zanya's. The Dreadnok had a coy smirk on her face. "Hi Zanya." Paul greeted good- naturedly. "I'm just looking for some hidden Cobra stuff."

"Hi, Starchild. It's been a while." Zanya purred. "I missed you. I've thought a lot about you."

"That's cool." Paul shrugged. "I gotta do somethin' right now, so maybe we can talk later?"

"I very rarely get to see you." Zanya stroked Paul's long black hair. "Did you miss me?"

"Well, I gotta admit, things have been rather quiet since I saw you last. You Dreadnoks barely show up anymore. I began to miss making fun of your crazy uncles." Paul grinned. He then noticed something. "Since when did you wear lipstick? Last time I saw you, you never wore lipstick." Zanya's coy smirk grew.

"I wore lipstick so I can do this!" Zanya grabbed Paul and kissed him. Unfortunately for Zanya, Tabitha found Paul.

"HEY!!!" Boom-Boom screamed. "Who are you, you punk rock reject?"

"I am Zanya, Paul's one true love." Zanya growled at Tabitha.

"I am Paul's true love, you green-haired tramp!!" Tabitha screamed.

"Here we go...CATFIGHT!!" Paul thought.

"You?!?!" Zanya scoffed. "Why would Paul want a cheap blonde time-bomb packing witch like you when he could have me? I hold a position of power."

"Why would Paul want an over-pierced, green-haired, camo-wearing leader of a bunch of nose-picking retards like you?" Tabitha growled. The two girls were snarling at each other. Tabitha and Zanya were ready to tear each other to bits.

"Girls, can't we..." Paul tried to calm them down, but their tempers were far too hot. They started to catfight. "Here we go again."

What's gonna happen next? Can Airtight's Samurai-Tron defeat the Silver Samurai? Can the X-Men and the Misfits prevail? Is there a girl that doesn't have a crush on Paul? Find out on the next chapter of Airtight's Creation!