A/N (aka quick annoying author's note): Reynamangga and I had some...problems...*grumblegrumble* sooooo...Yup, this is a repost.
Airline Escapades
Chapter 1: Apparently, It Can
Disclaimer: Reynamangga and Rainwood sway to the beat of an unheard drum. Suddenly, they stop swaying. Rainwood lays two signs across from each other. One is labeled Us and the other Reynamangga stands in the middle. She extends one arm and proceeds to spin.
Who owns Inuyasha? Who owns Inuyasha? Who owns Inuyasha?!!
After twirling several times, she collapses, facing
Unfortunately, her arm points to
Stupid arm!
Whoever owns Inuyasha is obviously not us, but them. Darn.
--~--
The two men bulldozed their way through the crushing droves of people, trying as hard as they could to get to Gate K9 as fast as they could.
When Inuyasha came across a blockade of baggage, they were were all knocked over in a spectacular domino rally. The rally culminated in the upheaval of an extraordinarily large old lady. Luckily for the careless half-demon, Miroku was too busy running to notice Inuyasha's handiwork or deliver another aggravating lecture.
Even with the great commotion Inuyasha and Miroku were creating, Myouga remained in his own little world of sick dreams and equally disturbing fantasies.
When Miroku and Inuyasha had finally caught up to the murmuring old man, it was only because the wheels had fallen off of the wheelchair. They considered picking Myouga up and leaving the rusty remains of the ancient chair, but decided against it. If they did not keep the squeaky horror from the depths of heck, someone would have to carry the Sleeping Fruity. Because neither of them was particularly eager to take up the task, they decided to keep the chair. Though annoyed by the setback, they managed to reattach the wheels to the chair with the limited supplies in their carryon bags.
--~--
Minutes later, two annoyed adventurers and a sleeping form burst into Gate K9, causing the large crowd there to fall silent.
Here they are! Hurry! Let us worship the Great Hunk of the Dog-Ears! A girl rushes forward.
No! We must worship the Uber-Sexy Guru of Twisted Buddhism! A young woman wearing a miniskirt and a tube top throws herself at Miroku.
Or not.
When Miroku and Inuyasha tore into Gate K9, it was completely empty, save for a young woman at the counter and an old couple hobbling along while arguing over whose turn it was to use the dentures. Miroku looked at Inuyasha over the bubble-gum-and-dental-floss pile on wheels and wheelchair parts and sighed.
There's no one he-
Brilliant observation, Einstein.
As I was saying, there's no one here. Could we have made a mista-
The thing says Gate K9' in red, flashing letters.
If you would refrain from interrupting me, I could get my point across. Miroku accentuated his sentence by closing his eyes and rapping Inuyasha several times with his staff. What I was attempting to say was, perhaps the call we heard earlier was not what we perceived and was, in fact, referring to a different flight. There's only one way to know, my good man.
Miroku glanced meaningfully at the cute young girl standing at the check-in desk. And there is always the possibility of achieving other things while finding the solution to this particular enigma.
You can't possibly do that! Inuyasha was appalled. She looks like she's fourteen or something!
Have I said anything particularly horrifying? Miroku looked as dismayed as Inuyasha looked appalled. I know not what evils you accuse me of committing, but I assure you, I have no intentions but honorable ones!
--~--
Words could not describe Inuyasha's boredom. He sat next to Myouga, who was currently having convulsions and was calling out a name repeatedly. A male name. Preferring not to dwell on Myouga's questionable. . . orientation, Inuyasha turned his attention over to Miroku.
He immediately wished he had not.
The man's shameless flirting was bad enough, but what was worse and even more perplexing was the girl's blushing and giggling.
Disconcerted by both of his companions, Inuyasha ended up marinating in a pool of self-pity. What a deep pool it was! The poor man couldn't even grab some ramen from one of his suitcases as they all were already on the airplane. Though he knew he would also be on the plane soon, he also knew that he would still be separated from the ramen for fifteen long, torturous hours.
Is it possible to go through ramen withdrawal?
He sighed and turned his head toward the window, intrigued.
Is the sky bluish-gray with a few wispy white clouds? Or, is it completely covered in white clouds and a bunch of grayish-blue clouds?
--~--
Miroku was grinning. Mentally grasping a knob in his mind labeled suave charm and turning it down a notch or two, he casually mentioned flight IY1-7KG15 to the attendant. Her name was Koharu and she really was fourteen, but she still managed to get a job anyway.
. . . Yeah. We're waiting for flight IY1-7KG15. I guess it's a small plane, because we're practically the only people here. Oh well, nothing wrong with that.
Flight IY1-7KG15? Not the flight to Narita Airport, in Tokyo, Japan? Koharu blanched.
Why yes, actually. One of Miroku's eyebrows rose slightly. Is there a reason you suddenly turned pale? Are you all right? Perhaps you are cold and you need a little something to warm you up? One of Miroku's eyebrows rose to previously unreached heights.
Koharu failed to notice the blatant innuendo in Miroku's last suggestion and gulped.
I hate to tell you this, sir, but it left at least half an hour ago, moments before you arrived.
Inuyasha caught this and bellowed Whaaaaaat?! NOOOOOOOOOO!! He was no longer gazing dully out of the window.
Miroku blinked.
Myouga snored.
The clock ticked.
--~--
After eons of typing, or so it seemed, Koharu's face finally brightened.
You guys are sooo lucky, Inuyasha snorted. Koharu ignored him and continued. There are three extra seats in business class on the next flight to Narita, flight 1S4-NG01619. If you want, I can just get you onto that flight. Go to Gate K8, it's across from here.
Inuyasha looked at the incredibly crowded waiting area Koharu pointed at.
Miroku blinked again.
Myouga snored again.
The clock ran out of batteries so it didn't tick again.
Er, wait. Make that two extra seats in business class. Koharu typed furiously into her computer. There's a person in first class who could use some extra assistance due to a recent accident. The third extra seat is next to them.
Inuyasha and Miroku were staring off into space. Their eyes had glazed over after the words extra assistance.
She's really the sweetest, cutest woman I know. Would either of you two be willing to help her?
The words and in quick succession to boot, instantly jolted Miroku back to life. Why, I could never leave a person in need! I would be more than happy to offer my services! I can't wait to grab her butt- Koharu looked scandalized.
Er, grab her bags! Yeah, I said grab her bags! Miroku laughed nervously.
Great! I'm so glad. Look, she's right over there, in the red culottes and the white bell-sleeved shirt. Koharu waved at a lady, who, much to Miroku's chagrin, was neither cute or young. She looked at least 50 years old, complete with graying hair and multitudes of chins.
Inuyasha looked at the lady again. He knew he had seen her somewhere, but he didn't know who she was or where he had seen her. She turned, giving Inuyasha a better look at her face. It clicked.
Crap, that's the old hag I knocked over earlier on the way here!
Inuyasha was not the only one who was less than pleased at who the sweet, cute lady was. Poor Miroku watched as one by one, all of his dreams of sitting next to a hot lady for fifteen hours went up in smoke.
Well, not really. To be more specific, only one went up in smoke. One drowned, another zoomed out of sight like a deflating balloon, and several of the more graphic ones were squashed by a rain of smelly elephants.
Myouga remained indifferent, but the fact that he was still asleep probably had something to do with it...
Miroku looked back at Koharu and said his first truly honest statement about her in their whole conversation.
Milady, it pains me to have to leave the company of one so pretty and charming like yourself.
I never realized how relative beauty is...
Please, grant me just one favor. Give me your phone number if you would allow me to keep in touch with you.
Koharu giggled and blushed again, not aware that Inuyasha was rolling his eyes. She complied and then sighed.
I guess you should go now. Unless something goes wrong, the plane will depart in 30 minutes.
Today was filled with so many evils. . . I'm sure we have already made up for all of Inuyasha's bad karma by now. Miroku's priestly appearance regressed back to one of a soap opera star. Meeting you was the only candle in the darkness of my day. Though, it was quite a large candle...
Lightning flashed, followed by a roll of thunder that shook the entire building. An amazingly monotone voice spoke into a speaker.
Flight S4-NG01619 will be delayed for 5 hours, I repeat, Flight S4-NG01619 will be delayed for 5 hours.
You were right, Miroku. It couldn't possibly have gotten worse.
Authors' Note:
Reynamangga here! ^_^ I'm in a scarily perky mood, for reasons unknown to anyone on the face of this earth. This is my first fanfic, and it's not even quite mine, as Rainwood is helping.
*looks over shoulder, and is happy to see that Rainwood is occupied with Rurouni Kenshin*
However, everybody should know *I'm* the real driving force behind this story.
*Rainwood comes in with sakabato and beats Reynamangga senseless*
Mm Hm! Back to what I was saying earlier, I never realized how nice it was to get reviews until I started writing. Here's the first one this fic got, from luvs_fluffys_sexy_butt(_,_)
your fic is so kewl! can fluffy's butt make an appearance? *drool*
If you think this is just another bizarre joke, you can go click the reviews link at the top and I swear it will be there.
*Rainwood pops head in- Don't forget to review while you're there!*
As an extra bonus to luvs_fluffys_sexy_butt(_,_), yes, Sesshoumaru's butt will make an appearance within the next couple of chappies. Thank you, chemistry_freak and animeguru for reviewing. Glad to know someone is reading this, other than me...
Sometimes I'm not sure if anyone finds me funny, and if I'm just strange, but I guess somebody does. It's really encouraging. Okay, I'm done rambling for the time being. Everybody wave hello to the chicken! ~:
