This Precious Thing: Part Three

By Jemmiah

**********

"Sixteen…" Qui-Gon was saying, standing on the balcony of his apartment and admiring the view, the same view as had always been, but no less than spectacular for all that. It would be difficult to become jaded with such an incredible sight even when it was quite literally on your doorstep. Jemmiah listened to the hum of Coruscant's air traffic far above their heads, remembering the first time she had stood on the balcony and took her first ever glance at the world outside - a world that had become her home.

That had been very nearly six years ago now. So much had happened since then…

"…an age of responsibility." Qui-Gon had continued to speak whilst her mind had been elsewhere and she had missed some of the conversation along the way. Nevertheless the gist of his words was unmistakable. Now she was officially of age she had to act in a mature and adult fashion. She should start to think about the direction she wanted her life to take. Basically - although it was not being said unkindly - he was suggesting she took a look at herself and did a bit of growing up.

That WAS what he was saying, wasn't he?

"Of course to a jedi it is just another year to be marked off on the long journey to attaining knighthood, but still I am aware of the importance…the significance, if you like…of reaching that age. And as you are both important and significant to me," he couldn't help but notice the girlish flush of color that accompanied his speech, "I thought I should mark the occasion in some way."

"There's no need…" Jemmiah hurriedly reassured him, but he cut her short with a shake of his hand.

"Yes there is. Although I was puzzled as to what I should give you at first. I believe Evla is taking you shopping today…"

"She is!" Jemmiah gleefully rubbed her hands. "And Obi-Wan bought me a lovely bouquet of flowers. I thought that was really sweet of him." She couldn't help but smirk as she recollected his face when she'd thanked him for the gift. "I gave him a quick peck on the cheek and he blushed so beautifully that I kissed him on the other one just to see him go even redder!"

Qui-Gon frowned slightly as she regaled him with her antics. His padawan was indeed somewhat shy where females were concerned; not that he hadn't an eye for them, which made Jemmiah's games even less commendable.

"Do you know, I wondered what I was going to get from Ben. I was really kinda worried. In fact I don't think I'd been so scared since Simeon and I put one of Ben's socks under the scanner and saw…"

"Yes, quite." Qui-Gon agreed abruptly. "But you liked your gifts so far."

"Oh, yes! They've been great!" Jemmiah beamed at him. "Not that it matters of course. Considering that my aunt and uncle went out of their way to buy me as many ridiculously expensive things as they could. Do you know, in a way I almost prefer Ben's flowers. At least he gave me something he'd picked out himself, not selected by someone in some fashionable department store. I suppose it means more because he made the effort."

"So you place great store on sentimental value?" Qui-Gon asked her, keenly awaiting her answer. Jemmiah looked totally non-plussed. What an odd question to ask!

"Well…yes. I like things with meaning behind them. I mean, I know they want to feel like they are doing something worthwhile and all that but sometimes it's like they think that by flashing all their great wealth at me I'll be dazzled with it all. Ben's flowers were lovely. Inexpensive but lovely. "

"Then if something was given to you that meant a lot to the person who was doing the bestowing, that would meet with your approval?"

This time Jemmiah didn't answer him, merely matching his question with one of his own. He was behaving very strangely! It had been a long while since she and Qui-Gon had simply talked like this, and she missed doing so, but he and Obi-Wan were so frequently away on missions that it left little time for social calls and the like. Yet here they both were.

"Why do you ask?" Jemmiah enquired, curious.

"Because," Qui-Gon reached into the pocket of his cloak and brought out a small, silk-wrapped parcel, "I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I wanted to wait for the right time to give this to you. As a sixteenth birthday is regarded as special I thought that time had come."

Jemmiah looked at him for a moment, gauging his mood. He was smiling and yet there seemed a little…sadness? Wistfulness? Expressions that she rarely got to witness from Qui-Gon were suddenly displayed there before her, very easy to read. This was indeed curious! It wasn't until her fingers, hovering momentarily over the beautiful, smooth green cloth, began to undo the little parcel that Jemmiah began to understand what lay behind the open emotions.

It was the ring. Even before she had finished divesting the tiny object of its wrappings Jemmiah could tell what it was. Qui-Gon's ring…why was he giving her this???

"But this is…" Jemmy gasped audibly, hardly able to believe her eyes.

"I would be very honored if you would accept this as my gift to you…" Qui-Gon began, breaking off his sentence as she wrapped the parcel up once more and placed it back in his hand.

Did she not want his gift?

"I'm sorry…I can't." Jemmiah turned her head away so that she didn't have to see the confusion - and the hurt - which was no doubt present on Qui-Gon's normally unperturbed features. There would be little point in trying to explain the way she felt for she doubted that he would understand. It just felt…odd. The idea of wearing someone else's jewellery, their own personal belongings, gave her the shivers. This ring had belonged to somebody. In her mind's eye Jemmiah could almost imagine her, tall and strong boned, but smiling somehow…

"I'm sorry." She repeated, standing up without looking at Qui-Gon and walking away to the living area, leaving him standing out on the balcony, no doubt feeling rather foolish.

Why she hadn't just retreated to the fresher she didn't know. Perhaps that would have seemed highly ungrateful, which wasn't the case, or maybe she hoped that by not hiding away she was showing him that she was being open and honest with him. Both reasons, possibly? Or did she want him to follow her back through? Whatever the truth was, Jemmiah's heart sank when she thought of how painful her rebuff must have been. It had been a kind and touching gesture, and she appreciated it, yet fleetingly it had reminded her of her uncle Kelik; so quick to buy affection with flashy jewels and fancy clothing. She didn't want Qui-Gon to feel he had to compete with him, nor did she want him to. Not her Qui-Gee.

When he reappeared some minutes later he looked neither unhappy nor disappointed as she had first feared, instead if anything he seemed calm and composed, as one would normally expect a jedi to behave. Wordlessly he walked over to where she was seated, acknowledging her with a very slight smile, removing his cloak and draping it carefully over the back of the sofa before allowing himself to sit down beside her on the second seat. Folding his hands carefully in his lap, Qui-Gon waited a moment or two before allowing himself to speak.

"Might I be permitted to ask why?" he tilted his head fractionally, as if it would somehow allow him to see what was going on in her head. "Is it not to your liking?"

Jemmiah blinked, surprised at his words. "No…it's lovely. More than that, it's beautiful. I think you know that. I admired it so much when I was little."

"Indeed." Qui-Gon nodded, recalling the amazement that had sparkled in her eyes, as bright as the stone set in the ring. "And that is why I am a little puzzled as to why you have decided to reject my gift to you." He fell silent for a moment, trying to think if perhaps they had argued recently, or that he had done something that might have caused her to be upset with him. "Is it me, is that it? Are you unhappy with me?"

"Sorry?" Jemmiah caught her breath slightly. Did he really think that? "N-no. It's not you, really it's not. The present was most kind and very thoughtful…"

"But?" pressed Qui-Gon.

Jemmy shifted a fraction in her chair so that she could face him properly this time. Clearly there was to be no running away - not now. How could she not have the decency to tell him when he had asked her so considerately? And he was due an answer.

"That ring was your mothers." She began.

"That is correct."

"It's her gift to you." Jemmy turned hopeful eyes upon him, hoping he would somehow understand. "It was never intended for me."

Qui-Gon weighted the delicate piece of jewellery in his hand for a moment, knowing that for all it had been intended for him as Jemmiah had said, it was never really destined for him. It was a ladies trinket, far too elegant for a man such as himself. Besides, what need did he have for it?

"Jemmiah, were I to keep hold of this ring it would just sit there in my room and gather dust until I died, and that being the case you would be the one to receive it anyway. Surely it makes sense then to give it to you now? I'd like to see it being worn, not lying forgotten."

"But it was your mothers…" Jemmy repeated.

"And by wearing it you will be honoring her. I have no memory of my family before the temple. Not one hazy remembrance before the crèche and Dex and Mace. If it were otherwise I might very well be tempted to hold onto this ring like you said. If I could somehow associate it with a face, a person, I might feel I was able to keep it. But I cannot."

He held the ring up to the light, his thumb and forefinger holding its circumference within their grasp.

"It seems it was never really meant for me. It's too much for a jedi to easily keep hold of. Yoda warned me of that when I was first granted my request and given care of what I desired. And he was right. I couldn't keep it. He saw what I could not even then."

Jemmiah wondered what exactly he was talking about - was it the ring or herself? That was ridiculous though on both counts. He was being foolish again. She had no intentions of letting the likes of her uncle supplant him in her affections. It wasn't as if she was going to walk out and leave him, not ever…

Did she deserve to take this gift from him? After all the things she had done? Could she say that she was worthy of Qui-Gon's gift when only a week ago she had…cheapened herself with Gethin Territ, the first person she'd actually permitted to lay hands on her since she had left Nargotria? Fifteen years of age and she'd let herself become exactly what she'd tried so hard not to be, working so hard to rid herself of the stigma of being brought up in a brothel. It had been inexcusable…she'd let herself be carried away by her own feelings of misery and the need for physical comfort. In truth, she'd done little short of take advantage of a man lost in his own unhappiness.

She'd been fifteen…a few days short of her sixteenth birthday. That was the only way she could justify what had happened, but she knew that would cut no ice with Qui-Gon or An-Paj should they ever find out.

"The choice is of course yours, but I do wish you would accept it. Just for myself?" he added a touch hopefully. "I would like to see it being valued again and on the finger of someone who will do it justice."

"Master J, your mother gave you this as a symbol. It maybe wasn't the most practical of gifts to leave a jedi but it was probably the most personal thing she had. Maybe the most precious thing. She wanted you to know that she thought about you even though she was giving you up to the temple. That's what this ring is. Don't you see, it's so personal that it just wouldn't be right for me to wear it? It would be like me coming between a mother and her son!"

"A novel way of looking on it." Qui-Gon smiled, almost ready to admit defeat. He decided he would give it one last attempt, and then if it was not to be he would place the little ring back in its box inside the chest of drawers where it had been hiding ever since its return some five years before.

"Jemmiah, you've said that this is my mother's gift to me." He continued cautiously, picking his words as carefully as he could.

"Yes."

"It's also my gift to you. I would like you to have it because it would mean as much to me to see you wearing it as it did to my mother when she gave it to the temple for safe keeping. You are right, it is a deeply personal thing. It IS a symbol - a token of respect and love and of high hopes for the future. That is something that I would wish for you. I would like to see that carried on into the future, so please…" he proffered the silver circlet, "…take it. Do it for me."

Jemmiah stared at the ring. It WAS beautiful; there was no doubt about it. There had been no hint from Qui-Gon that he had given it to her just because her uncle had been buying her all manner of expensive things. Yes, he'd as good as admitted that he was worried he wouldn't be able to keep her with him for much longer so perhaps that insecurity - and who'd have thought a jedi would have that? - was lurking in the background, but clearly it was not his motivation for giving her the ring. He wanted to honor the parent he had never seen but clearly regarded with deep gratitude, but most of all he wished to honor her. Would it be so wrong to accept under those circumstances? And who was to say that Qui-Gon's mother would not have approved? After all, she was as good as his daughter. The ring would have come to her in time…

She didn't want to think about that. Quite happily Jemmiah would have given up a million such trinkets to keep Qui-Gon alive and well. A small, appraising glance revealed to her that Qui-Gon had followed her every thought and had began to relax in the knowledge that he had finally won the battle. Deep down she still felt as if she shouldn't accept…but she had let herself be swayed.

//I should have locked myself in the fresher after all.// Jemmiah thought ruefully. //Oh, well - too late for that now.//

"I was going to give it to you a few years back," Qui-Gon reflected momentarily, "But as I found to my own cost it is probably not the sort of thing a young child should be given. That was why I held onto it for as long as I did. Not that I ever thought you were unworthy of it."

"What, never?" Jemmiah smiled questioningly, steeling a peek at Qui-Gon's blue eyes, amusement writ large therein.

"We have had our moments, haven't we?" he mused, thinking of all the arguments and tantrums, the lectures and fallings out. He was fairly inflexible in his attitude; he knew it to be true. Everyone said it. Jemmiah was quick to anger and just as quick to calm down. Their relationship had from time to time been stormy to say the least. "But yet here we are, talking sensibly with one another."

He paused -

"And I am still offering you this gift. The choice is yours. I cannot make you take it, and if you feel uncomfortable with the notion then I will understand. But I hope that you will accept it. For me." He added, waiting her decision.

Put like that, how was she able to refuse him?

"It's important to remember people." Jemmiah stretched out her hand to let him place the ring on her finger. "I've always felt that was true. That way they never really fade away. So if you think that your mother would approve then I'll gladly wear it."

The ring slid over her knuckle and then further down towards the base of her finger, gripping her skin firmly without pinching. It was a good fit; in fact it could very easily have been made for her. Jemmiah took a few moments to admire it, letting the light catch the shimmery blue Corusca stone from different angles. It looked somehow different now that she was actually wearing it…almost as if it had come alive.

"Thank you." She flashed her famous grin at Qui-Gon.

"No, thank you." He stood up slowly, stretching his long limbs as he did so. "I'm going to fetch a drink. Do you want one?"

"Just citrus thanks."

"On your birthday?" the tone seemed thoroughly scandalised. "When I have a bottle of something pink, fizzy and very slightly alcoholic put aside?"

"Later, Perhaps." Jemmy answered. "After Evla has taken me shopping! I'll need something to revive me."

"So will she…" Qui-Gon murmured.

There was an awkward moment of silence as Qui-Gon tried to think of something else to say, hesitating by the kitchen entrance.

"I'm truly happy that you accepted that ring." He confessed, his face astonishingly bashful - so much that it caused Jemmiah to take notice.

"Because of its sentimental value?" she wondered.

"No…" Qui-Gon confessed, "because I was so convinced that you would say yes that I hadn't got you anything else, and I would have looked very foolish indeed!"