~A Once and Again Series~

The Way We Are

Thanks for reading, as always. : ) Lol, Netty! I may be able to write about relationships, but I'm no expert... not even close! Hehehehe... guys are too complicated to comprehend, even for me! That's why I like the guys in my stories, who I can make do whatever I want.... hey, maybe in this chapter, Eli should run away and married a girl named Brittany (me!).... lol. j/k.

P.s. Sarah Grosso is a different Sarah than the one that was Grace's friend in this story. Just don't want you to get confused! Sarah Grosso is actually a character from Once and Again. She was Katie's friend/something more?...

Chapter 10//Nice Day to Start Again

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"Have you seen Eli?" Jessie asked, as she stood in Grace's open bedroom door.

Grace looked up from homework and shook her head, "I haven't seen him lately."

"Oh," Jessie said. She paused and then entered Grace's room further. "So, are things getting better between you two?"

Grace looked at her in surprise. "I don't know, Jessie. I really haven't seen him lately."

[[Grace - *looks at camera defensively* I haven't!]]

"Oh," Jessie paused, trying to find the right way to say this, "I thought that maybe you being in therapy might mean..."

Grace's eyes narrowed.

"...that things would become better between you two," Jessie finished quickly.

"They told you about it?" Grace asked, irritated.

Jessie shook her head, "They didn't say anything to me... I just overheard them talking about it."

Grace glared at her, "No one was supposed to find out."

"It was an accident," Jessie said uncomfortably.

"Whatever," Grace snipped, and turned her eyes back to her math homework.

"So," Jessie was too curious to leave this topic alone, "What do you talk to... your therapist about?"

Grace looked up, raising her eyebrows, "About you, of course..."

Jessie's eyes widened and Grace finally smiled, "I'm kidding."

Jessie relaxed into a smile.

"I mean, it's not all about you," Grace teased. She sighed then, as she thought about her therapy sessions.

"Do you think it's helping you any?" Jessie asked.

[[Grace - *shrugs* I don't know... *shifts in chair*... It is nice to just be able to talk... about anything, and everything.]]

Grace shrugged, "I don't know. It's nice to have someone to talk to about everything, I guess."

Jessie smiled and nodded, "Yeah, that's what I thought. I wish I had someone to talk to sometimes."

"I can give you his number," Grace joked.

Jessie was silent for a moment. "I guess I just feel invisible around here sometimes."

"You do?" Grace asked.

Jessie avoided Grace's eyes, "I just... you and Eli, when you were better... you were so wrapped up in your relationship. And Dad was so wrapped up in Eli's life. And I guess I just felt like there was no one there... for me."

Grace smiled softly, "Yeah, I see what you mean."

Jessie looked up at Grace and smiled back. She began to turn back to the doorway, but Grace called out, stopping her. "Jessie."

[[Grace - Talking... is just a release, I guess. It clears your mind, and gives you space to really think...]]

"Want to talk?" Grace asked, patting the spot next to her on the bed.

Jessie's face collapsed into a warm smile. She came back into the room, closing the door behind her. "You mean, about me?" She asked as she sat on the bed.

Grace smiled. "Yup... I need more details to tell my therapist," She joked.

Jessie laughed, "What about me?"

Grace shrugged, "What's new?"

"Well... I made a friend," Jessie said. "She's really cool. Her name is Katie Singer. She's a sophomore... like you."

"I know Katie," Grace said.

Jessie was surprised, "You do?"

Grace nodded, "I'm not friends with her really, but she's cool."

Jessie smiled, "She is. I just..."

"What?" Grace encouraged her, suddenly feeling very much like Dr. Rosenfeld.

[[Grace - *rolls eyes, and laughs warmly and freely*]]

"She already has this best friend. You know her, she's in your play," Jessie said.

"Cynthia?" Grace asked.

"No, Sarah Grosso," Jessie shrugged. "I don't know... I just get this weird vibe from Sarah."

"Like what?" Grace prodded. Dr. Rosenfeld had certainly been rubbing off on her. Pretty soon she was going to be asking Jessie to tell her exactly 'how that makes her feel'.

Jessie sighed, looking down at her knees, "Like... just that she doesn't like me very much."

"She's probably just afraid that you'll steal Katie away from her," Grace suggested.

Jessie nodded-- that was her suspicion, too-- she looked over at Grace, "But I don't want to steal anyone from anyone."

Grace looked at her sympathically. "Yeah, it sounds like a weird position to be in."

Jessie sat and thought for a moment, "It's weird, too... like Katie's other friends, like Tara and Jillian, are... completely different than Sarah. Like, they accepted me right away, and now they're my friends, too. But, Sarah..."

"Give it time," was Grace's best advice.

"Yeah," Jessie's hand played with the laces on her shoes. "I hope Sarah will... change, because I don't want to lose Katie... as a friend."

"I'm sure you won't," Grace assured her. She glanced back down at her math book and Jessie realized she was keeping Grace from doing her work.

"Yeah, so... thanks," Jessie said, getting up from the bed.

Grace smiled, "No problem."

Jessie paused in the doorway, "No, I mean it... thanks, Grace, really." She smiled genuinely at her stepsister and left.

Grace nodded, understanding.

[[Grace - Talking to someone else about your problems... just helps. It does... It can help you see what you need to do... *sad look*]]

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"So, have you talked to him?"

Grace sighed. They were getting to the hard stuff right away this session. She looked over at Dr. Rosenfeld and shook her head, "Not yet."

"Why not?"

"There just hasn't been the right time..." Grace explained.

"You're not putting it off?" Rosenfeld asked, observing her carefully.

Grace looked away, her eyes flitting over the rows of books on the bookcase in his office. She looked back at the doctor and his eyes were still on her. She caved, "Okay... maybe I'm putting it off... a little."

"Why's that?"

Grace let out a deep breath.

"Is it because you're afraid of how he might take it?" Dr. Rosenfeld asked.

Grace shook her head, "No... I already know how Eli's going to take it."

"And how's that?"

Grace sighed, "Bad."

* * *

"Have you seen Grace yet?" Eli asked.

Carla took a big bite of her green apple and shook her head, "No! I totally thought I'd run into her at school, but she hasn't been around."

"She's doing the play, so she's been busy with that," Eli explained. He leaned back in the park bench. It was really nice for a November day. The sun was out, warming everything. The tree leaves were changing into brilliant oranges and reds... It was just one of those beautiful days that just seem to come out of nowhere. They come along unexpectedly, and that just makes the day that much more special. Because, it was a surprise. A pleasant surprise.

"Grace is a drama geek?" Carla cried, laughing. The drama people weren't very well thought of at Upton Sinclair. It was almost as bad as saying you were in the chess club.

"Hey!" Eli said, getting defensive.

Carla took another bite of her apple and said when she finished chewing, "It's nothing personal. I've just never been one for school extra- curriculars. I just don't see the point of them... you know?"

"I was in Basketball," Eli reminded her.

Carla smiled, "You *were* in Basketball... you're not anymore, are you?"

Eli shook his head, "I kind of dropped out this year."

"See!" Carla cried, "You get the pointlessness of school-sponsored sports and clubs and crap."

Eli shrugged, "Actually I kind of enjoyed it... when I was in it. It was fun."

Carla frowned, her argument having been torn apart. She shrugged and took another bite of her apple, "So, why didn't you join this year?"

"Well... I was too busy with my band, and with stuff..." Eli said.

"With Grace?" Carla supplied.

Eli nodded, "Yeah, I guess. But it was more than that."

"Oh," Carla thought about it, "So... you drop Basketball and have lots of time to spend with her, and then Grace starts up the play and is too busy for you... and now you're having problems."

"So?"

"Well," Carla smiled smugly, "Have you ever wondered if the two of you are on the same page?"

Eli blinked, "What does that mean?"

"Well... it just sounds like one of you cares more about the relationship than the other," Carla looked pointedly at Eli, awaiting a reaction.

Eli frowned, and looked back at her, "And how would you know anything about mine and Grace's relationship? What gives you the right to make... judgments?"

Carla wasn't faulted by his comments. She smiled, and took another bite of her apple, "I'm just trying to help."

Eli was silent.

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"Eli?" Grace knocked on his opened garage door. Eli's music was up loud and Grace moved further into the room, and shut his door behind her. She waited until he turned and saw her standing there.

"Grace!" Eli was surprised, pleasantly surprised.

[[Eli - I've been kind of feeling like she was avoiding me lately. I know she's trying to work out whatever it is she needs to work out, but... I mean, isn't she my girlfriend?]]

"Hey," Grace said with a soft smile. Her thoughts were clearer than they had been in weeks... and she knew what she needed to do.

"So, uh, how's the play going?" Eli asked, for lack of anything better to say.

"Oh, good, really good," Grace said.

[[Grace - This is hard... so hard.]]

Eli turned down his music and crossed the room to her. Grace watched him, with love in her eyes. She loved him, she really did. She looked at him now, and she saw him... she looked over every detail... his torn jeans, his light blue shirt with the dark blue lettering. His still tanned skin. His beautiful hands that created beautiful music... his beautiful hands that caressed her face, and touched her back when they kissed.

[[Grace - *sighs*]]

His... perfect face... the strong chin, the adorable nose... those eyes. Those eyes that saw into her... that saw her. Those lips.... those lips that made her feel so.... amazing. Those lips that joined with her lips and connected the two of them, together, as one. His hair, oh his hair... sometimes stiff because of too much gel, but always there for Grace to run her fingers through...

"Grace?" Eli looked at her, concerned. There were tears in her eyes. He reached out, ready to pull her into his arms, to pull her close to his body, and to comfort her.

But Grace held up a hand, stopping him. "Eli..."

Eli didn't want her to speak, he was afraid of what was going to come. While Grace was pausing, searching for the words, Eli surged forward, pressing his lips against hers. It had been so long since they had just kissed each other.

But Grace didn't kiss him back.

Eli pulled back, looking into her troubled eyes, "Grace?"

Grace's tears were overflowing now. They made two separate trails down her cheeks. "Eli, I... I just can't."

"It's okay," Eli tried to assure her, "We don't have to figure things out now. You can still have more time."

Grace shook her head, "No, you don't understand... I can't... I can't be in a relationship anymore."

"What?" Eli choked on the word. Suddenly he was finding it hard to breathe.

"Eli, I'm just not ready for something this serious... I'm just too young to be so, committed," Grace mumbled.

"Grace, we've never been like that!" Eli insisted, "It's never been about commitments or seriousness... we've just been being a couple... we've just been a couple..."

Grace looked at him slowly, "But, Eli, don't you see? Can't you see how committed we are to each other? We live, breath, sleep each other. We live together..."

"Our parents live together," Eli interjected.

"It's the same thing, though," Grace said.

"So, your idea is to just give up..." Eli sighed.

"I'm not giving up," Grace said softly, "I'm letting go."

"But.... why?" Eli asked, his voice breaking on the words. "Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do!" Grace cried, "I love you more than anything else in the world, but Eli... I can't do that anymore... I need to take a break, so I can just be... me."

"You can be 'you' and date me... at the same time."

Grace shook her head, "Please... just let me... go..."

Eli's eyes slowly filled with tears. "Go where? I'll see you every day."

"Just let me go... on by myself," Grace said, regretting the words.

[[Grace - Am I making a stupid stupid stupid mistake????]]

Eli was silent. Grace was hurt more by his silence than by any of his words could do. She moved past him, and hesitantly walked out his door. Eli collapsed on his bed, and wondered... just wondered....

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