Chapter 6
"I still don't know how you knew to come and rescue us," John queried D'Argo.
"It was in Aeryn's message," he said simply
"It was? I was there when she sent it and I don't remember"
"Well it was clear to me. She said that you had a romantic evening together planned and I could probably guess what you had planned for the rest of the night. Jool then said to have fun and that she hoped you didn't wear her out. Then Aeryn said, yeah, she'd probably need rescuing by morning. Clear as day that she wanted us to be ready to mount a rescue in the morning. I had Pilot monitor the surface, so when he picked up all the troop movements around the landing area, that's where I headed."
"Well I would never have picked up the subliminal message but I'm sure glad you did, D." He clapped his friend on the back and Aeryn just laughed.
"May be D'Argo and I are on a closer wavelength than we thought!" They were in the cargo bay contemplating the weapon Crichton and Aeryn had appropriated.
"Should we keep this or destroy it?" asked John
"I say destroy it. If we keep it there is always a chance that it may get activated or someone may steal it from us. We don't want it finding its way back to the Scarrens," was Aeryn's opinion
"Right, I agree. We'll take it out in Lo'la well away from Moya, then let it loose in space and I'll shoot it to smithereens," said D'Argo with satisfaction.
With the weapon destroyed they made their way to the mess area to relate the details of their latest adventure to the others over dinner. When dinner had finished John observed Aeryn slipping quietly away. With surprising tact he decided to leave her be for a short while and didn't get Pilot to find her for him until after the others had retired for the sleep cycle. He found her on the terrace gazing out at space. He slipped onto the floor beside her and took her hand.
"So you gonna tell me what all that was about down there with the radiation thing?"
"What did you think it was about, John?" she asked, still gazing out at the stars. John paused for a moment to gather his thoughts
"Well, I came up with two possibilities. At first I thought it could have been a sebacean heat delirium thing, but then I thought you might have been thinking about you know, the other one, and how he died and you were worried about me." Aeryn smiled ruefully
"Not bad, Crichton, not bad at all, but wrong on both counts. The real reason I didn't want to go up that staircase is much simpler but has much greater consequences"
"It is? It does? Aeryn, you have to tell me honey, the suspense is killing me." She took a deep breath and turned to face him.
"I'm pregnant"
"Pregnant? Pregnant? Really? Oh, baby that's, that's just wonderful," a huge smile broke over his face and he pulled her into a tight hug.
"Is it?
"Of course it is! We're going to have a baby"
"No, I'm going to have the baby. And it's not wonderful John, it's a disaster"
John's grin faltered somewhat as he started to register Aeryn's distinct lack of enthusiasm for the idea of starting a family together. Admittedly they hadn't really talked about it, but he was pretty sure that she knew about his strong desire for kids someday.
"Hey, of course it's not a disaster. I mean, I know it's not great timing and all, what with the Peacekeepers and now the Scarrens chasing our asses all over the galaxy, but if we waited for the right time it might never come."
"It's not the timing, John, although I agree its frelled. It's the whole idea of having a child. How can we bring a child into this? I don't know the first thing about having a baby except that it's going to severely hamper my abilities in our all too frequent battles. What about rearing a child? I only met my mother three times and on two of those occasions she tried to kill me. I never knew my father as my own mother killed him. It's not exactly a great role model for practical parenting is it!" John could see she was really getting herself worked up about this. He pulled her into his arms.
"I know that your childhood wasn't exactly a bed of roses, but the important thing is that we'll do this together. I'll be there for you every step of the way"
"I knew you would say something like that. The usual blind optimism! What if you're not? What if Scorpius or Grayza or whoever finally catches up with you? What would I do with a child by myself?"
"You'd do the best you could, Aeryn"
"That might not be good enough, John. I'm just not sure that I have what it takes to be a mother."
"I'm sure you do, you'll see," he said, a touch of desperation in his voice. Not knowing what else to say he lapsed into silence, a myriad of emotions in his head. His overwhelming joy at the thought of fatherhood mixed with anxiety for Aeryn, both mentally and physically. She had not long recovered from a near fatal illness and now she would be putting her body through pregnancy. He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't accept pending motherhood she would fight it every step of the way. He held her close, one hand mechanically rubbing up and down her spine in a gesture of comfort.
"How long have you known?"
"A couple of weekens. I started feeling like dren and I thought it had something to do with my illness so I had Jool check me out"
"You've known a couple of weekens and you didn't tell me?"
"I needed time to think about it. To decide what to do"
"What to do? There's not much you can do, Aeryn; you can't be not quite pregnant you know!" Aeryn was silent for a moment gazing at the floor. The penny dropped for Crichton
"You wouldn't have? Aeryn, tell me you wouldn't have," he said pleadingly
"Don't think that I didn't think about it. I had the perfect opportunity too. We could have escaped up that irradiated staircase and I would undoubtedly have miscarried. It's so early that you needn't have known anything about it. But I found that I couldn't do it. In that moment of decision I knew clearly that I couldn't knowingly kill our child." Crichton pulled her into a fierce hug.
"Oh thank God, thank God, Aeryn. Oh baby everything's going to be alright, alright. We can do this."
"I'm glad you're so sure, John, you'll just have to optimistic for the both of us." She looked up into his face, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm so scared, John. I don't think I've ever been so scared of anything in my life as I have of this, not even Namtar. Before my actions towards myself only had consequences for me, now everything I do is affecting another life as well as my own"
"Hey, I know you'll rise to the challenge, just like you have every other emotional curve ball life has thrown at you ever since I've known you. And I AM going to be here to help you with this challenge. No one, not even Scorpy, is going to stop me being there for you and our child and that's a promise"
"One I'll hold you to" she laughed shakily, scrubbing at the tears on her face but they kept coming until she was crying in earnest. "Oh frell, why am I such a watering pot all of a sudden"
"It's called hormones, sweetheart," he replied gently and leaned over to kiss away her tears.
"I still don't know how you knew to come and rescue us," John queried D'Argo.
"It was in Aeryn's message," he said simply
"It was? I was there when she sent it and I don't remember"
"Well it was clear to me. She said that you had a romantic evening together planned and I could probably guess what you had planned for the rest of the night. Jool then said to have fun and that she hoped you didn't wear her out. Then Aeryn said, yeah, she'd probably need rescuing by morning. Clear as day that she wanted us to be ready to mount a rescue in the morning. I had Pilot monitor the surface, so when he picked up all the troop movements around the landing area, that's where I headed."
"Well I would never have picked up the subliminal message but I'm sure glad you did, D." He clapped his friend on the back and Aeryn just laughed.
"May be D'Argo and I are on a closer wavelength than we thought!" They were in the cargo bay contemplating the weapon Crichton and Aeryn had appropriated.
"Should we keep this or destroy it?" asked John
"I say destroy it. If we keep it there is always a chance that it may get activated or someone may steal it from us. We don't want it finding its way back to the Scarrens," was Aeryn's opinion
"Right, I agree. We'll take it out in Lo'la well away from Moya, then let it loose in space and I'll shoot it to smithereens," said D'Argo with satisfaction.
With the weapon destroyed they made their way to the mess area to relate the details of their latest adventure to the others over dinner. When dinner had finished John observed Aeryn slipping quietly away. With surprising tact he decided to leave her be for a short while and didn't get Pilot to find her for him until after the others had retired for the sleep cycle. He found her on the terrace gazing out at space. He slipped onto the floor beside her and took her hand.
"So you gonna tell me what all that was about down there with the radiation thing?"
"What did you think it was about, John?" she asked, still gazing out at the stars. John paused for a moment to gather his thoughts
"Well, I came up with two possibilities. At first I thought it could have been a sebacean heat delirium thing, but then I thought you might have been thinking about you know, the other one, and how he died and you were worried about me." Aeryn smiled ruefully
"Not bad, Crichton, not bad at all, but wrong on both counts. The real reason I didn't want to go up that staircase is much simpler but has much greater consequences"
"It is? It does? Aeryn, you have to tell me honey, the suspense is killing me." She took a deep breath and turned to face him.
"I'm pregnant"
"Pregnant? Pregnant? Really? Oh, baby that's, that's just wonderful," a huge smile broke over his face and he pulled her into a tight hug.
"Is it?
"Of course it is! We're going to have a baby"
"No, I'm going to have the baby. And it's not wonderful John, it's a disaster"
John's grin faltered somewhat as he started to register Aeryn's distinct lack of enthusiasm for the idea of starting a family together. Admittedly they hadn't really talked about it, but he was pretty sure that she knew about his strong desire for kids someday.
"Hey, of course it's not a disaster. I mean, I know it's not great timing and all, what with the Peacekeepers and now the Scarrens chasing our asses all over the galaxy, but if we waited for the right time it might never come."
"It's not the timing, John, although I agree its frelled. It's the whole idea of having a child. How can we bring a child into this? I don't know the first thing about having a baby except that it's going to severely hamper my abilities in our all too frequent battles. What about rearing a child? I only met my mother three times and on two of those occasions she tried to kill me. I never knew my father as my own mother killed him. It's not exactly a great role model for practical parenting is it!" John could see she was really getting herself worked up about this. He pulled her into his arms.
"I know that your childhood wasn't exactly a bed of roses, but the important thing is that we'll do this together. I'll be there for you every step of the way"
"I knew you would say something like that. The usual blind optimism! What if you're not? What if Scorpius or Grayza or whoever finally catches up with you? What would I do with a child by myself?"
"You'd do the best you could, Aeryn"
"That might not be good enough, John. I'm just not sure that I have what it takes to be a mother."
"I'm sure you do, you'll see," he said, a touch of desperation in his voice. Not knowing what else to say he lapsed into silence, a myriad of emotions in his head. His overwhelming joy at the thought of fatherhood mixed with anxiety for Aeryn, both mentally and physically. She had not long recovered from a near fatal illness and now she would be putting her body through pregnancy. He knew her well enough to know that if she didn't accept pending motherhood she would fight it every step of the way. He held her close, one hand mechanically rubbing up and down her spine in a gesture of comfort.
"How long have you known?"
"A couple of weekens. I started feeling like dren and I thought it had something to do with my illness so I had Jool check me out"
"You've known a couple of weekens and you didn't tell me?"
"I needed time to think about it. To decide what to do"
"What to do? There's not much you can do, Aeryn; you can't be not quite pregnant you know!" Aeryn was silent for a moment gazing at the floor. The penny dropped for Crichton
"You wouldn't have? Aeryn, tell me you wouldn't have," he said pleadingly
"Don't think that I didn't think about it. I had the perfect opportunity too. We could have escaped up that irradiated staircase and I would undoubtedly have miscarried. It's so early that you needn't have known anything about it. But I found that I couldn't do it. In that moment of decision I knew clearly that I couldn't knowingly kill our child." Crichton pulled her into a fierce hug.
"Oh thank God, thank God, Aeryn. Oh baby everything's going to be alright, alright. We can do this."
"I'm glad you're so sure, John, you'll just have to optimistic for the both of us." She looked up into his face, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm so scared, John. I don't think I've ever been so scared of anything in my life as I have of this, not even Namtar. Before my actions towards myself only had consequences for me, now everything I do is affecting another life as well as my own"
"Hey, I know you'll rise to the challenge, just like you have every other emotional curve ball life has thrown at you ever since I've known you. And I AM going to be here to help you with this challenge. No one, not even Scorpy, is going to stop me being there for you and our child and that's a promise"
"One I'll hold you to" she laughed shakily, scrubbing at the tears on her face but they kept coming until she was crying in earnest. "Oh frell, why am I such a watering pot all of a sudden"
"It's called hormones, sweetheart," he replied gently and leaned over to kiss away her tears.
