~A Once and Again Series~
The Way We Are
Chapter 15//Turn the Page
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"You don't have to do that," Jessie said shyly.
Tad shrugged, and handed the cashier a five. "I'm the one that asked you to go out to lunch, so I'll pay..."
"Okay," Jessie agreed. She smiled and picked up the tray with her fast food on it. She waited until Tad got his change and then they headed for a table in the back of the restaurant. Tad walked slightly in front of Jessie and she found herself studying the back of his neck as they went.
[[Jessie - It's like... it's just weird to have a guy be interested in ME. I can tell Tad likes me, and that's just... weird. *smile* It's nice. It's... well, flattering.]]
"Here?" Tad asked, plopping down his tray without waiting for an answer. Jessie slid in across the booth from him.
They ate and talked for a while, mostly talking about the things they had in common... which was school, and Katie. Katie was the one who had set up their date in the first place. Of course, they had only gone bowling and to the movies-- and Katie, Sarah, Bill, and Laurie had been there too. It had been a group date type of thing. But Katie insisted that it still counted as a date, and she kept telling Jessie over and over how much Tad liked her.
"Hey..." Jessie said, looking out the window on her left. "Isn't that Katie?"
Tad looked too. It was Katie out in the parking lot, climbing out of her little "Bucket of Rust" as she called her car. Jessie smiled happily and began to wave to try and catch Katie's attention. Katie wasn't alone, however. Jessie's hand fell a bit as she watched Sarah Grosso climbing out of the passenger's side.
"It's Katie and Sarah," Tad said, commenting on the obvious.
Jessie's attention was still at the window though as she watched the two brunettes (Katie's hair was more a golden brown, and Sarah's a dark brown) start walking towards the building. The wind was blowing heavily, and Katie's winter felt hat was tipped eschew on her head. As Jessie watched, Sarah's hands snuck up and grabbed Katie's blue hat off her head. Jessie smiled softly at the two girls chasing each other in the parking lot.
[[Jessie - I don't know what I would have done if Katie hadn't come into my life. She changed it... she changed everything. I mean, like before I had NO friends, and now... I'm, like, popular. And I'm like, kind- of, sort-of, seeing Tad. And it's all because Katie took me in as a friend. She's just... so amazing.]]
Jessie glanced back at Tad, who had finished eating his extra value meal, and moved on to eating the remainder of Jessie's fries. Jessie didn't mind, though. She looked back at the window, to see if the girls were closer to entering the restaurant. What she saw shocked her.
Her mouth dropped open a bit, and her heart beat questioningly. Her eyes danced away from the window to Tad, and then around at the other customers in the restaurant. And then her eyes were drawn by a strong force back to the window. She had to see if... if she had really seen what she had thought she had seen.
Because she thought she had seen Katie and Sarah kissing.
Jessie looked at where they had been standing... where she had seen the two girls embracing. They weren't there. Jessie's eyes danced over the snow-covered parking lot, but the two girls weren't out there anymore... that must mean...
"Hey Jessie!" Katie's voice called happily from the entrance of the restaurant as she noticed Jessie at the table in the back.
Jessie lifted her hand in a half-hearted wave. Katie looked normal... she didn't look like she had just been kissing another girl out in the parking lot...
[[Jessie - Katie NEVER said anything about her and Sarah... not like that. She never said anything about being gay either...]]
Sarah appeared behind Katie and she noticed Jessie too. Sarah leaned in and whispered something to Katie, and Katie nodded. Katie looked back at Jessie and Tad before giving a small wave and scurrying over to the cashier with Sarah.
Jessie looked down at her tray and frowned.
[[Jessie - I mean, why wouldn't she tell me? I thought we were friends...]]
* * *
"Jess?" Grace asked as Jessie passed by her opened doorway. Jessie didn't stop and Grace heard her feet pounding on the attic stairs. Grace frowned, but sensed that Jessie didn't really feel like talking right now.
Grace looked down at the chemistry homework she was trying to figure out. With a sigh she dropped her pencil and instead found herself looking around her room. It had grown incredibly messy. Grace was surprised that her mother hadn't been on her already about cleaning it up.
Grace went to her desk first, sorting through the piles of papers. She paused and her eyes grew glassy as she looked down at the framed photo on her desk. One of her few of her and Eli as a couple. It had been taken last summer at her mother's and Rick's wedding. Grace was in her bridesmaid dress and Eli was in his nice suit. Eli had his arm draped comfortably around Grace's shoulders. Their smiles were big and bright.
Grace sighed. She looked up, catching her reflection in the mirror. There certainly was no smile like that on her face right now. Or on Eli's face, for that matter. Eli... Eli.. was slowly unraveling. He was unraveling under the pressure Rick and Karen were putting on him. Grace hated to see that.
[[Grace - I love Eli. I still do. I always will. I just... *stares blankly*]]
Grace carefully replaced the photo on her desk. She didn't care that she and Eli weren't a couple anymore-- there was no way she was ever going to get rid of that picture. That picture of the two of them was just so... perfect. Grace couldn't bare the thought of shoving it away in some drawer. That just wouldn't be right.
[[Grace - *eyes refocus* But... is it okay... that I kind of have... feelings for someone else? Even though I still love Eli?]]
* * *
Eli smiled happily. A smile slightly resembling the smile from the photograph Grace had been looking at. Not as bright however... but close. "Are you serious?" He asked.
John nodded. He was indeed very serious. A huge smile lit up John's face too. He knew what a big deal this was.
Eli thought over it. It was... incredible. Delivery, a fairly popular band with a sizeable following had asked them, Anti-Inflammatory, to go on tour with them this summer as their opening band. This was a big deal. A very very nice gig. They would end up with a good amount of money. This was...
[[Eli - ...Amazing! Just freaking amazing. I can't believe this...]]
"We're going to do it, right?" John asked anxiously.
Eli nodded, "Of course. We can't turn this down. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We could make a name for ourselves."
John smiled, then cringed, "What will your parents think of it?"
Eli's smiled dropped, "They'll hate it. Absolutely hate it with a vengeance."
"And so...?" John asked.
Eli shrugged, "We're doing it." He smiled. "We're doing it," He repeated.
John nodded, relieved.
* * *
"Eli, I was thinking it would be a good idea for you to get a job this summer... you know to save up for college," Rick suggested that night at dinner.
Eli looked up briefly, but didn't say anything.
Rick took the bowl of mashed potatoes Lily was passing him, and then looked at Eli once again. "Well?"
"Yeah, a job...save up money," Eli agreed absently. He didn't look up to meet his father's eyes.
[[Eli - I wonder when I should tell them... tell them everything. Like... Hey, Dad, by the way I'm not going to college, and oh, yeah... this summer I'm going on tour with my band. See yeah, later. *scoffs*]]
Grace looked over at Eli, sensing something was up with him. Eli was busy staring at his food, though.
[[Eli - *nods* Yeah, I think I better wait on that announcement...]]
Zoe built her mashed potatoes into a towering mountain. Lily looked over and gave her a disapproving look, and Zoe quickly smashed her tower of potatoes. "So, I got asked out," She said brightly.
Lily started. "What?"
"On a date," Zoe said casually. "Ted Bracket. He's in the same grade as me. He has been since second grade, but he used to be all... gross and now he's like, normal, I guess."
"He asked you out?" Lily said, surprised. Zoe was so young to be thinking of dating. Grace hadn't had her first date until... until Eli last year.
Zoe nodded, "Just to the movies. We're going with a bunch of other people." Zoe finally saw the expression in her mother's eyes and realized that Lily wasn't just going to let her go that easily. "Please can I go?" Zoe begged.
Lily sighed, "I'll have to think about it."
"We're supposed to do it this Friday," Zoe said urgently, wanting an answer now.
"I'll think about it," Lily said again, causing Zoe to sit back in her chair with a pout.
Grace dully spooned a scoopful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.
[[Grace - Even Zoe's going out on dates now...... *sighs, shifts in chair* It's like... why aren't I doing that... like, dating? Isn't that one of the reasons I broke up with Eli... so I could be free? Free to do what I want... free to find out what I want. *sighs again* So, maybe it's a good idea to just see what's out there... to just... date other people. Like... Travis.]]
Grace looked over at Eli again, this time her eyes glinted with guilt. Was she really considering going on a date with Travis? Eli looked up, and their eyes met. Grace looked away quickly, feeling a sharp pain in her heart.
* * *
"Well, have a good Christmas!" The teacher said. The class gratefully stood up, eager for the final class of the day to be over... and now that meant Winter Break was upon them. A week and a half of freedom.
Grace picked up her backpack, and slipped it over her shoulders. She headed out to the hallway. Winter break... that meant almost two weeks away from school... and most likely from Travis. Grace never got to see Travis outside of school. But what if she... oh, so casually asked Travis to do something over break.
[[Grace - *defensively* Not like a date! *fixes hair, putting it behind her ears* Okay... maybe like a date. *nervous look*]]
Grace went left in the hallway, even though her locker was in the other wing. Travis' locker was in the south wing. Grace's heart started beating faster as she thought about what she was about to do.
[[Grace - Oh God! What would Eli think if he knew I was about to ask another guy out... especially if 'that guy' is Travis... the one he accused me of having feelings for. *startled look* Wait... did Eli really believe I had feelings for him? Did he see this before I did?? How did... how could he have known-- when even I didn't realize the truth? When even I didn't realize that I had feelings for Travis? Does Eli really know me better than I know myself? *is a bit pleased and comforted by this idea*]]
Grace turned the corner, automatically spotting Travis' long blond hair. He was one of the few guys in school with hair like that. It was so blond... if he was a girl, everyone would say he dyed it. But it was natural.
Grace quickly rehearsed the words in her head... thinking of how to ask him out without sounding exactly like she was asking him out. She another couple steps before realizing what she was seeing...
Grace was jolted to a stop. A kid behind her bumped into her, but Grace didn't feel anything. She stared ahead, shocked.
[[Grace - *pained* Why didn't I realize it?]]
Grace watched as Travis broke from his kiss with Cynthia. The two smiled lovingly at each other. They bumped noses and whispered words and then they were kissing again.
Grace quickly turned away. She retreated.
[[Grace - Have I been this blind? *tearful* Why haven't I been able to see ANYTHING in my life lately? Why... why... oh... *bites lower lip* Why does this hurt so much, when I didn't even realize until lately that I actually had feelings for Travis??]]
Grace stumbled blindly through the hallway, bumping into a few people. She mumbled apologizes and continued hastily down the hall. Then a hand reached out and stopped her. Grace, for a wild moment, thought somehow it was Travis. It was Travis... and Cynthia.
But then she looked up, and found herself looking up into Eli's concerned face.
Seeing the concern for herself on Eli's face put the final nail into the coffin. Grace began to cry. Eli was surprised by her tears, not knowing why she would be crying. But he put his arms around her anyways. Grace crushed her face tight against his warm chest, knowing she was probably making a spectacle of herself, but not knowing how to stop the tears.
[[Grace - How can Eli still care SO much about me... after I broke up with him? How can he be THAT good? *sniffles*]]
"It's okay," Eli whispered, "It's okay."
Grace closed her eyes, her tears drying up as she listened to his comforting voice. He was there for her... like always. She really needed that right now. She needed his love.
* * *
The Way We Are
Chapter 15//Turn the Page
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"You don't have to do that," Jessie said shyly.
Tad shrugged, and handed the cashier a five. "I'm the one that asked you to go out to lunch, so I'll pay..."
"Okay," Jessie agreed. She smiled and picked up the tray with her fast food on it. She waited until Tad got his change and then they headed for a table in the back of the restaurant. Tad walked slightly in front of Jessie and she found herself studying the back of his neck as they went.
[[Jessie - It's like... it's just weird to have a guy be interested in ME. I can tell Tad likes me, and that's just... weird. *smile* It's nice. It's... well, flattering.]]
"Here?" Tad asked, plopping down his tray without waiting for an answer. Jessie slid in across the booth from him.
They ate and talked for a while, mostly talking about the things they had in common... which was school, and Katie. Katie was the one who had set up their date in the first place. Of course, they had only gone bowling and to the movies-- and Katie, Sarah, Bill, and Laurie had been there too. It had been a group date type of thing. But Katie insisted that it still counted as a date, and she kept telling Jessie over and over how much Tad liked her.
"Hey..." Jessie said, looking out the window on her left. "Isn't that Katie?"
Tad looked too. It was Katie out in the parking lot, climbing out of her little "Bucket of Rust" as she called her car. Jessie smiled happily and began to wave to try and catch Katie's attention. Katie wasn't alone, however. Jessie's hand fell a bit as she watched Sarah Grosso climbing out of the passenger's side.
"It's Katie and Sarah," Tad said, commenting on the obvious.
Jessie's attention was still at the window though as she watched the two brunettes (Katie's hair was more a golden brown, and Sarah's a dark brown) start walking towards the building. The wind was blowing heavily, and Katie's winter felt hat was tipped eschew on her head. As Jessie watched, Sarah's hands snuck up and grabbed Katie's blue hat off her head. Jessie smiled softly at the two girls chasing each other in the parking lot.
[[Jessie - I don't know what I would have done if Katie hadn't come into my life. She changed it... she changed everything. I mean, like before I had NO friends, and now... I'm, like, popular. And I'm like, kind- of, sort-of, seeing Tad. And it's all because Katie took me in as a friend. She's just... so amazing.]]
Jessie glanced back at Tad, who had finished eating his extra value meal, and moved on to eating the remainder of Jessie's fries. Jessie didn't mind, though. She looked back at the window, to see if the girls were closer to entering the restaurant. What she saw shocked her.
Her mouth dropped open a bit, and her heart beat questioningly. Her eyes danced away from the window to Tad, and then around at the other customers in the restaurant. And then her eyes were drawn by a strong force back to the window. She had to see if... if she had really seen what she had thought she had seen.
Because she thought she had seen Katie and Sarah kissing.
Jessie looked at where they had been standing... where she had seen the two girls embracing. They weren't there. Jessie's eyes danced over the snow-covered parking lot, but the two girls weren't out there anymore... that must mean...
"Hey Jessie!" Katie's voice called happily from the entrance of the restaurant as she noticed Jessie at the table in the back.
Jessie lifted her hand in a half-hearted wave. Katie looked normal... she didn't look like she had just been kissing another girl out in the parking lot...
[[Jessie - Katie NEVER said anything about her and Sarah... not like that. She never said anything about being gay either...]]
Sarah appeared behind Katie and she noticed Jessie too. Sarah leaned in and whispered something to Katie, and Katie nodded. Katie looked back at Jessie and Tad before giving a small wave and scurrying over to the cashier with Sarah.
Jessie looked down at her tray and frowned.
[[Jessie - I mean, why wouldn't she tell me? I thought we were friends...]]
* * *
"Jess?" Grace asked as Jessie passed by her opened doorway. Jessie didn't stop and Grace heard her feet pounding on the attic stairs. Grace frowned, but sensed that Jessie didn't really feel like talking right now.
Grace looked down at the chemistry homework she was trying to figure out. With a sigh she dropped her pencil and instead found herself looking around her room. It had grown incredibly messy. Grace was surprised that her mother hadn't been on her already about cleaning it up.
Grace went to her desk first, sorting through the piles of papers. She paused and her eyes grew glassy as she looked down at the framed photo on her desk. One of her few of her and Eli as a couple. It had been taken last summer at her mother's and Rick's wedding. Grace was in her bridesmaid dress and Eli was in his nice suit. Eli had his arm draped comfortably around Grace's shoulders. Their smiles were big and bright.
Grace sighed. She looked up, catching her reflection in the mirror. There certainly was no smile like that on her face right now. Or on Eli's face, for that matter. Eli... Eli.. was slowly unraveling. He was unraveling under the pressure Rick and Karen were putting on him. Grace hated to see that.
[[Grace - I love Eli. I still do. I always will. I just... *stares blankly*]]
Grace carefully replaced the photo on her desk. She didn't care that she and Eli weren't a couple anymore-- there was no way she was ever going to get rid of that picture. That picture of the two of them was just so... perfect. Grace couldn't bare the thought of shoving it away in some drawer. That just wouldn't be right.
[[Grace - *eyes refocus* But... is it okay... that I kind of have... feelings for someone else? Even though I still love Eli?]]
* * *
Eli smiled happily. A smile slightly resembling the smile from the photograph Grace had been looking at. Not as bright however... but close. "Are you serious?" He asked.
John nodded. He was indeed very serious. A huge smile lit up John's face too. He knew what a big deal this was.
Eli thought over it. It was... incredible. Delivery, a fairly popular band with a sizeable following had asked them, Anti-Inflammatory, to go on tour with them this summer as their opening band. This was a big deal. A very very nice gig. They would end up with a good amount of money. This was...
[[Eli - ...Amazing! Just freaking amazing. I can't believe this...]]
"We're going to do it, right?" John asked anxiously.
Eli nodded, "Of course. We can't turn this down. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. We could make a name for ourselves."
John smiled, then cringed, "What will your parents think of it?"
Eli's smiled dropped, "They'll hate it. Absolutely hate it with a vengeance."
"And so...?" John asked.
Eli shrugged, "We're doing it." He smiled. "We're doing it," He repeated.
John nodded, relieved.
* * *
"Eli, I was thinking it would be a good idea for you to get a job this summer... you know to save up for college," Rick suggested that night at dinner.
Eli looked up briefly, but didn't say anything.
Rick took the bowl of mashed potatoes Lily was passing him, and then looked at Eli once again. "Well?"
"Yeah, a job...save up money," Eli agreed absently. He didn't look up to meet his father's eyes.
[[Eli - I wonder when I should tell them... tell them everything. Like... Hey, Dad, by the way I'm not going to college, and oh, yeah... this summer I'm going on tour with my band. See yeah, later. *scoffs*]]
Grace looked over at Eli, sensing something was up with him. Eli was busy staring at his food, though.
[[Eli - *nods* Yeah, I think I better wait on that announcement...]]
Zoe built her mashed potatoes into a towering mountain. Lily looked over and gave her a disapproving look, and Zoe quickly smashed her tower of potatoes. "So, I got asked out," She said brightly.
Lily started. "What?"
"On a date," Zoe said casually. "Ted Bracket. He's in the same grade as me. He has been since second grade, but he used to be all... gross and now he's like, normal, I guess."
"He asked you out?" Lily said, surprised. Zoe was so young to be thinking of dating. Grace hadn't had her first date until... until Eli last year.
Zoe nodded, "Just to the movies. We're going with a bunch of other people." Zoe finally saw the expression in her mother's eyes and realized that Lily wasn't just going to let her go that easily. "Please can I go?" Zoe begged.
Lily sighed, "I'll have to think about it."
"We're supposed to do it this Friday," Zoe said urgently, wanting an answer now.
"I'll think about it," Lily said again, causing Zoe to sit back in her chair with a pout.
Grace dully spooned a scoopful of mashed potatoes in her mouth.
[[Grace - Even Zoe's going out on dates now...... *sighs, shifts in chair* It's like... why aren't I doing that... like, dating? Isn't that one of the reasons I broke up with Eli... so I could be free? Free to do what I want... free to find out what I want. *sighs again* So, maybe it's a good idea to just see what's out there... to just... date other people. Like... Travis.]]
Grace looked over at Eli again, this time her eyes glinted with guilt. Was she really considering going on a date with Travis? Eli looked up, and their eyes met. Grace looked away quickly, feeling a sharp pain in her heart.
* * *
"Well, have a good Christmas!" The teacher said. The class gratefully stood up, eager for the final class of the day to be over... and now that meant Winter Break was upon them. A week and a half of freedom.
Grace picked up her backpack, and slipped it over her shoulders. She headed out to the hallway. Winter break... that meant almost two weeks away from school... and most likely from Travis. Grace never got to see Travis outside of school. But what if she... oh, so casually asked Travis to do something over break.
[[Grace - *defensively* Not like a date! *fixes hair, putting it behind her ears* Okay... maybe like a date. *nervous look*]]
Grace went left in the hallway, even though her locker was in the other wing. Travis' locker was in the south wing. Grace's heart started beating faster as she thought about what she was about to do.
[[Grace - Oh God! What would Eli think if he knew I was about to ask another guy out... especially if 'that guy' is Travis... the one he accused me of having feelings for. *startled look* Wait... did Eli really believe I had feelings for him? Did he see this before I did?? How did... how could he have known-- when even I didn't realize the truth? When even I didn't realize that I had feelings for Travis? Does Eli really know me better than I know myself? *is a bit pleased and comforted by this idea*]]
Grace turned the corner, automatically spotting Travis' long blond hair. He was one of the few guys in school with hair like that. It was so blond... if he was a girl, everyone would say he dyed it. But it was natural.
Grace quickly rehearsed the words in her head... thinking of how to ask him out without sounding exactly like she was asking him out. She another couple steps before realizing what she was seeing...
Grace was jolted to a stop. A kid behind her bumped into her, but Grace didn't feel anything. She stared ahead, shocked.
[[Grace - *pained* Why didn't I realize it?]]
Grace watched as Travis broke from his kiss with Cynthia. The two smiled lovingly at each other. They bumped noses and whispered words and then they were kissing again.
Grace quickly turned away. She retreated.
[[Grace - Have I been this blind? *tearful* Why haven't I been able to see ANYTHING in my life lately? Why... why... oh... *bites lower lip* Why does this hurt so much, when I didn't even realize until lately that I actually had feelings for Travis??]]
Grace stumbled blindly through the hallway, bumping into a few people. She mumbled apologizes and continued hastily down the hall. Then a hand reached out and stopped her. Grace, for a wild moment, thought somehow it was Travis. It was Travis... and Cynthia.
But then she looked up, and found herself looking up into Eli's concerned face.
Seeing the concern for herself on Eli's face put the final nail into the coffin. Grace began to cry. Eli was surprised by her tears, not knowing why she would be crying. But he put his arms around her anyways. Grace crushed her face tight against his warm chest, knowing she was probably making a spectacle of herself, but not knowing how to stop the tears.
[[Grace - How can Eli still care SO much about me... after I broke up with him? How can he be THAT good? *sniffles*]]
"It's okay," Eli whispered, "It's okay."
Grace closed her eyes, her tears drying up as she listened to his comforting voice. He was there for her... like always. She really needed that right now. She needed his love.
* * *
