~A Once and Again Series~
The Way We Are
Chapter 17//Live and Breathe
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"Kids? Isn't it getting late?" Lily said to the dispassionate group at the kitchen table.
Jessie managed not to express her distaste at the idea of heading off to school. The first day back from winter break. Jessie had kind of avoided seeing Katie over break. It had been easy, of course, with the new baby arriving and everything. Jessie just wasn't ready to confront Katie with this new information she held.... that Katie might be a lesbian.
"It's already 7:30," Lily announced with a wide smile, after no one at the table budged. "Rick already dropped Zoe off earlier, but if you don't leave soon..."
Grace couldn't help rolling her eyes. School was the last place she wanted to be going today. Grace had sort of avoiding Cynthia and Travis after seeing them kissing at school. She just... wasn't sure she was ready to have to be around them, when they were all over each other.
"You're going to be late," Lily warned.
Eli spooned the last of his cereal into his mouth. He didn't feel much like going to school himself. His conversation with his parents about his decisions for his future had not gone... well, at all. They had been extremely upset that Eli wasn't even considering the idea of college anymore. They weren't sure what to do with him, and Eli kept trying to tell them that they DIDN'T have to worry over what to do about him-- because Eli was old enough to make his own decisions now. If only they could grasp that idea.
Finally it was Grace who moved first. "Let's go," She said simply as she got up from the table.
The other two followed her out the door, all wearing similar expressions of weariness. Lily watched them go herself, and her cheery smile slowly faded from her face. She sighed as she went about cleaning up the breakfast dishes. Maybe whatever was bugging the kids was catching... because suddenly Lily, herself, was feeling in the dumps.
* * *
"Jessie!" Katie called, excitedly.
Jessie turned, seeing her friend. Katie was alone, no Sarah in site, and Jessie felt okay enough to smile at her friend.
[[Jessie - Maybe I mistook what I saw... maybe it meant nothing...]]
"Where were you all break?" Katie asked, linking her arms through Jessie's as they walked. "I tried to call you a couple of times, but you were always busy. Tad said he tried to call you too, but you never called him back."
"Oh," Jessie shrugged, "Oh... well, my dad's wife's ex-husband and his wife just had a baby on the 23rd." Jessie's nose crinkled up as she thought over what she had just said, "Did that make sense?"
Katie smiled, "Totally. I have an odd, mixed up family too, so I totally followed you."
Jessie smiled back. The girls paused as they reached Jessie's locker. Jessie undid the combination, and opened her locker. She suddenly remembered something, and unzipped the pocket on her backpack. She pulled out a picture of baby Ethan and showed it to Katie, "That's Ethan Jacob Manning."
Katie oohed over the picture, "He's adorable."
Jessie nodded. She took the picture back from Katie and used a magnet to hang it up on the inside of her locker.
"Oh wait!" Katie said before Jessie closed her locker. Katie searched through her own locker and pulled out a slightly crumpled picture. She reached inside Jessie's locker and hung it up next to the picture of Ethan.
Jessie looked at the picture. It was the picture that Katie had gotten Tad to take of the two of them outside the school a few weeks ago. They were both in their winter coats, which were the same color blue-- although they were different brands and styles. Jessie's cheeks in the picture were flushed pink circles as they got in the chilly weather and Katie's arm was around Jessie's shoulder. They both wore big smiles in the picture.
"Thanks," Jessie said, looking back at Katie.
Katie shrugged, "I had doubles."
Jessie smiled, and shut the locker close on the pictures of Ethan and Katie and herself.
[[Jessie - Because she seems so... normal. I mean, she doesn't act like she's gay or something. And even if she was... I mean, I'd still be friends with her. Because she's a really good friend.]]
* * *
"Grace!" Cynthia cried.
Grace turned and gave Cynthia what she hoped was a friendly smile. "Hey."
"How was your break? I'm so sorry we never got together..." Cynthia smiled slyly, "I have news, actually."
Grace believed she already knew this 'news', but she faked ignorance anyways. "Oh, really?"
Cynthia nodded, and shyly said, "Travis and I... are going out, now!"
"Wow," Grace said, pretending to be surprised, "When did that happen?"
Cynthia shrugged, and leaned closer to Grace, "I guess we've been kind of heading towards it for a while. At first I thought we'd never be anything more than friends, and then... it just sort of happened. I'm still, like, all shocked about it."
Grace smiled, "Well... I'm happy for you."
Cynthia beamed.
* * *
"Are you getting out?" Eli asked finally.
Grace looked across the car at him, "Are you?"
They silently studied each other. They sat in their Honda, which was parked in the driveway. Jessie and Zoe had already scampered into the house a minute ago.
"I'm going to practice," Eli said, "And you... can't drive legally by yourself yet."
Grace nodded, "So... let me come with you."
Eli looked back at her, and his expression warmed. "We've got a whole bunch of new songs."
Grace smiled, probably her first real smile of the day, "I want to hear them."
Eli put the car into reverse. Zoe, who had noticed their failure to enter the house, was watching from the window. She looked on curiously as she watched the two of them driving away together.
* * *
"Grace!" Carla practically screamed as Grace entered Turk's house.
Grace was surprised, beyond words, as Carla came from where she was lounging on the couch in the living room to hug Grace.
"I haven't seen you in forever!" Carla said as she let Grace go. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."
Grace snuck a look at Eli, who was getting his guitar out of its case. He didn't seem to be sharing any of Grace's surprise at seeing Carla here. Grace looked back at Carla, "So... what are you doing here?"
Carla smiled, and snapped her gum, "Duh, Grace! I'm here to support my boyfriend's crappy music."
Grace felt her stomach drop. She snuck another glance at Eli, who was still looking at his guitar.
"Hey, I heard that!" Turk cried with faked anger as he came into the living room. "We're very talented musicians."
Carla grinned, "That's what you think!" She looked at Grace, to share a humorous smile with her, but Grace's face was set to a frown.
Eli came up behind Grace and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. Grace looked back up at him accusingly.
"What?" Eli asked with a hint of a smile.
Grace crossed her arms, and looked back at Carla, ready to launch into a full assault of her anger and shock at the two of them being a couple. How Eli could have not said anything? How could he-- Grace's thoughts were abruptly cut short as when she looked over, she saw Carla and Turk locked in a tight kiss.
Eli gently squeezed her shoulder, and when Grace looked back at him, she knew... that Eli had known what she had thought Carla meant by her "boyfriend". Eli had known Grace had thought that Carla was talking about Eli as her boyfriend... and he had let her think that.
Eli grinned his charming half-smile at her. Grace's mouth dropped open and she shook her head at him. That jerk, she tried to think... but she couldn't get the thought to stay. Maybe because she was just so relieved it wasn't true. "You jerk," Grace whispered aloud.
Eli's hand lifted from her shoulder and brushed her soft cheek, "What?" He asked innocently... too innocently.
Grace couldn't help but smile at him. She reached up and grabbed his hand that was brushing her cheek. His hand was so warm. Grace remembered Eli's words... 'you have to do what feels right'. Grace did just that, drawing his hand to her mouth and kissing it softly.
Eli's smile faded slightly with surprise, but his eyes were still warm and gentle as he looked back on her.
* * *
"You would so look good with permed hair," Katie said, as she released the curling iron on a section of Jessie's hair, letting a spring of curl drop.
Jessie smiled, and looked at herself in the mirror, as Katie moved on to a new section of hair, twisting it up around the curling iron. "I love your hair," Jessie said, switching her gaze in the mirror to admire Katie's straight, thick golden brown hair.
Katie smiled, looking in the mirror, catching Jessie's stare. "Well, I love your hair... we can trade!"
"Okay!" Jessie said, and the two drifted into giggles.
Katie released the iron again, and then unplugged it as she stepped back to admire Jessie's now springy curled hair. Jessie lightly touched her curls, "Thanks."
"No problem," Katie said, shoving the iron into one of her bathroom drawers.
The two moved from the bathroom to Katie's connecting bedroom.
Katie sprawled out on the queen size bed. Jessie uncomfortably stared down at her friend.
[[Jessie - Should I just ask?]]
Katie noticed Jessie's expression and sat up on the bed, making room for Jessie to sit. "Sorry.... Sit down."
Jessie sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked at Katie, wondering.
Katie looked away, and got up to grab a ponytail from her dresser. She drew her long brown up into a messy ponytail. Finally she came and sat back down on the bed; although this time she was further away from Jessie than before.
Both girls looked away from the other.
Finally Katie just said, "Is something wrong?" Her brown eyes looked at Jessie with a tint of hurt in them.
Jessie shook her head, "Nothing's wrong."
"Then why... are you acting so... off?" Katie asked, studying Jessie's face.
Jessie sighed, looking to the side, "I just... was wondering about something. There's something I wanted to ask you about."
"Then ask!" Katie said, a bit more brightly than before.
[[Jessie - If I just ask... then she'll tell me the truth, and then I can stop thinking about it, because I'd know.]]
Jessie fidgeted, running her fingers over one of Katie's silk pillows. She couldn't even look at Katie, as she said, "I kind of saw you kissing.... Sarah."
"Oh, opps!" Katie grinned, "I guess we aren't as careful as we thought we were."
Jessie looked up in surprise at Katie, "So, it's true?"
Katie nodded, "Yeah. Sarah hasn't told anyone she's gay... so we have to keep a secret."
Jessie frowned and lifted her eyebrows, "Even from me...?"
Katie grimaced, "Jessie... I would have told you, but Sarah didn't want anyone to know."
"Oh," Jessie looked back down at the purple heart pillow she held. "So, are you, like, in love... with her?"
Katie shrugged, "I think I'm a little too young to know what love is. I mean, does anyone our age ever really know if they're in love?"
* * *
Grace watched Eli play with a ceaseless smile.
[[Grace - I love Eli... I always have and I always will. I knew that when I broke up with him. My having feelings for Travis didn't change that either. If anything, I love Eli even more.]]
Carla, sitting next to Grace, nudged her. Grace looked at Carla and nodded in agreement. She thought this song was really good, also. Carla grinned, and looked back at Turk, and Grace noticed the strong amount of emotion in Carla's eyes for the black-haired guitar player. Grace was glad for her friend. Carla deserved someone who would love her back. Grace turned her eyes back on Eli. He was looking at her, and their eyes met.
[[Grace - It scared me, I guess... loving someone so much, when I'm so young. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. And I guess I began listening to other people and their thoughts... instead of listening to mine own. I let them influence me into thinking that maybe I needed to break from Eli to become my own person. But maybe, that was wrong. Maybe I could become my own person, while still... dating Eli.]]
There was a pause between songs, and then Eli launched into the song Grace treasured. The song he had written for her almost a year ago and had put onto a CD for her, along with a bunch of the band's other songs, for her Valentine's Day gift last year. The song called, No Other Grace.
There's a girl I cherish
Brown eyes that will never perish
I couldn't be more gone
But this doesn't feel so wrong
Nothing's left in my mind
Thoughts of her taking up all my time
There's no one else
There's no other Grace
No one could ever take her place
And I try to live and breathe
But I feel her inside of me
I have nothing to fear
Except the one I hold so dear
So life goes on
And I sing her song
There's no one else
There's no other Grace
No one could ever take her place
There's no other Grace
* * *
The Way We Are
Chapter 17//Live and Breathe
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"Kids? Isn't it getting late?" Lily said to the dispassionate group at the kitchen table.
Jessie managed not to express her distaste at the idea of heading off to school. The first day back from winter break. Jessie had kind of avoided seeing Katie over break. It had been easy, of course, with the new baby arriving and everything. Jessie just wasn't ready to confront Katie with this new information she held.... that Katie might be a lesbian.
"It's already 7:30," Lily announced with a wide smile, after no one at the table budged. "Rick already dropped Zoe off earlier, but if you don't leave soon..."
Grace couldn't help rolling her eyes. School was the last place she wanted to be going today. Grace had sort of avoiding Cynthia and Travis after seeing them kissing at school. She just... wasn't sure she was ready to have to be around them, when they were all over each other.
"You're going to be late," Lily warned.
Eli spooned the last of his cereal into his mouth. He didn't feel much like going to school himself. His conversation with his parents about his decisions for his future had not gone... well, at all. They had been extremely upset that Eli wasn't even considering the idea of college anymore. They weren't sure what to do with him, and Eli kept trying to tell them that they DIDN'T have to worry over what to do about him-- because Eli was old enough to make his own decisions now. If only they could grasp that idea.
Finally it was Grace who moved first. "Let's go," She said simply as she got up from the table.
The other two followed her out the door, all wearing similar expressions of weariness. Lily watched them go herself, and her cheery smile slowly faded from her face. She sighed as she went about cleaning up the breakfast dishes. Maybe whatever was bugging the kids was catching... because suddenly Lily, herself, was feeling in the dumps.
* * *
"Jessie!" Katie called, excitedly.
Jessie turned, seeing her friend. Katie was alone, no Sarah in site, and Jessie felt okay enough to smile at her friend.
[[Jessie - Maybe I mistook what I saw... maybe it meant nothing...]]
"Where were you all break?" Katie asked, linking her arms through Jessie's as they walked. "I tried to call you a couple of times, but you were always busy. Tad said he tried to call you too, but you never called him back."
"Oh," Jessie shrugged, "Oh... well, my dad's wife's ex-husband and his wife just had a baby on the 23rd." Jessie's nose crinkled up as she thought over what she had just said, "Did that make sense?"
Katie smiled, "Totally. I have an odd, mixed up family too, so I totally followed you."
Jessie smiled back. The girls paused as they reached Jessie's locker. Jessie undid the combination, and opened her locker. She suddenly remembered something, and unzipped the pocket on her backpack. She pulled out a picture of baby Ethan and showed it to Katie, "That's Ethan Jacob Manning."
Katie oohed over the picture, "He's adorable."
Jessie nodded. She took the picture back from Katie and used a magnet to hang it up on the inside of her locker.
"Oh wait!" Katie said before Jessie closed her locker. Katie searched through her own locker and pulled out a slightly crumpled picture. She reached inside Jessie's locker and hung it up next to the picture of Ethan.
Jessie looked at the picture. It was the picture that Katie had gotten Tad to take of the two of them outside the school a few weeks ago. They were both in their winter coats, which were the same color blue-- although they were different brands and styles. Jessie's cheeks in the picture were flushed pink circles as they got in the chilly weather and Katie's arm was around Jessie's shoulder. They both wore big smiles in the picture.
"Thanks," Jessie said, looking back at Katie.
Katie shrugged, "I had doubles."
Jessie smiled, and shut the locker close on the pictures of Ethan and Katie and herself.
[[Jessie - Because she seems so... normal. I mean, she doesn't act like she's gay or something. And even if she was... I mean, I'd still be friends with her. Because she's a really good friend.]]
* * *
"Grace!" Cynthia cried.
Grace turned and gave Cynthia what she hoped was a friendly smile. "Hey."
"How was your break? I'm so sorry we never got together..." Cynthia smiled slyly, "I have news, actually."
Grace believed she already knew this 'news', but she faked ignorance anyways. "Oh, really?"
Cynthia nodded, and shyly said, "Travis and I... are going out, now!"
"Wow," Grace said, pretending to be surprised, "When did that happen?"
Cynthia shrugged, and leaned closer to Grace, "I guess we've been kind of heading towards it for a while. At first I thought we'd never be anything more than friends, and then... it just sort of happened. I'm still, like, all shocked about it."
Grace smiled, "Well... I'm happy for you."
Cynthia beamed.
* * *
"Are you getting out?" Eli asked finally.
Grace looked across the car at him, "Are you?"
They silently studied each other. They sat in their Honda, which was parked in the driveway. Jessie and Zoe had already scampered into the house a minute ago.
"I'm going to practice," Eli said, "And you... can't drive legally by yourself yet."
Grace nodded, "So... let me come with you."
Eli looked back at her, and his expression warmed. "We've got a whole bunch of new songs."
Grace smiled, probably her first real smile of the day, "I want to hear them."
Eli put the car into reverse. Zoe, who had noticed their failure to enter the house, was watching from the window. She looked on curiously as she watched the two of them driving away together.
* * *
"Grace!" Carla practically screamed as Grace entered Turk's house.
Grace was surprised, beyond words, as Carla came from where she was lounging on the couch in the living room to hug Grace.
"I haven't seen you in forever!" Carla said as she let Grace go. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me."
Grace snuck a look at Eli, who was getting his guitar out of its case. He didn't seem to be sharing any of Grace's surprise at seeing Carla here. Grace looked back at Carla, "So... what are you doing here?"
Carla smiled, and snapped her gum, "Duh, Grace! I'm here to support my boyfriend's crappy music."
Grace felt her stomach drop. She snuck another glance at Eli, who was still looking at his guitar.
"Hey, I heard that!" Turk cried with faked anger as he came into the living room. "We're very talented musicians."
Carla grinned, "That's what you think!" She looked at Grace, to share a humorous smile with her, but Grace's face was set to a frown.
Eli came up behind Grace and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. Grace looked back up at him accusingly.
"What?" Eli asked with a hint of a smile.
Grace crossed her arms, and looked back at Carla, ready to launch into a full assault of her anger and shock at the two of them being a couple. How Eli could have not said anything? How could he-- Grace's thoughts were abruptly cut short as when she looked over, she saw Carla and Turk locked in a tight kiss.
Eli gently squeezed her shoulder, and when Grace looked back at him, she knew... that Eli had known what she had thought Carla meant by her "boyfriend". Eli had known Grace had thought that Carla was talking about Eli as her boyfriend... and he had let her think that.
Eli grinned his charming half-smile at her. Grace's mouth dropped open and she shook her head at him. That jerk, she tried to think... but she couldn't get the thought to stay. Maybe because she was just so relieved it wasn't true. "You jerk," Grace whispered aloud.
Eli's hand lifted from her shoulder and brushed her soft cheek, "What?" He asked innocently... too innocently.
Grace couldn't help but smile at him. She reached up and grabbed his hand that was brushing her cheek. His hand was so warm. Grace remembered Eli's words... 'you have to do what feels right'. Grace did just that, drawing his hand to her mouth and kissing it softly.
Eli's smile faded slightly with surprise, but his eyes were still warm and gentle as he looked back on her.
* * *
"You would so look good with permed hair," Katie said, as she released the curling iron on a section of Jessie's hair, letting a spring of curl drop.
Jessie smiled, and looked at herself in the mirror, as Katie moved on to a new section of hair, twisting it up around the curling iron. "I love your hair," Jessie said, switching her gaze in the mirror to admire Katie's straight, thick golden brown hair.
Katie smiled, looking in the mirror, catching Jessie's stare. "Well, I love your hair... we can trade!"
"Okay!" Jessie said, and the two drifted into giggles.
Katie released the iron again, and then unplugged it as she stepped back to admire Jessie's now springy curled hair. Jessie lightly touched her curls, "Thanks."
"No problem," Katie said, shoving the iron into one of her bathroom drawers.
The two moved from the bathroom to Katie's connecting bedroom.
Katie sprawled out on the queen size bed. Jessie uncomfortably stared down at her friend.
[[Jessie - Should I just ask?]]
Katie noticed Jessie's expression and sat up on the bed, making room for Jessie to sit. "Sorry.... Sit down."
Jessie sat down on the edge of the bed. She looked at Katie, wondering.
Katie looked away, and got up to grab a ponytail from her dresser. She drew her long brown up into a messy ponytail. Finally she came and sat back down on the bed; although this time she was further away from Jessie than before.
Both girls looked away from the other.
Finally Katie just said, "Is something wrong?" Her brown eyes looked at Jessie with a tint of hurt in them.
Jessie shook her head, "Nothing's wrong."
"Then why... are you acting so... off?" Katie asked, studying Jessie's face.
Jessie sighed, looking to the side, "I just... was wondering about something. There's something I wanted to ask you about."
"Then ask!" Katie said, a bit more brightly than before.
[[Jessie - If I just ask... then she'll tell me the truth, and then I can stop thinking about it, because I'd know.]]
Jessie fidgeted, running her fingers over one of Katie's silk pillows. She couldn't even look at Katie, as she said, "I kind of saw you kissing.... Sarah."
"Oh, opps!" Katie grinned, "I guess we aren't as careful as we thought we were."
Jessie looked up in surprise at Katie, "So, it's true?"
Katie nodded, "Yeah. Sarah hasn't told anyone she's gay... so we have to keep a secret."
Jessie frowned and lifted her eyebrows, "Even from me...?"
Katie grimaced, "Jessie... I would have told you, but Sarah didn't want anyone to know."
"Oh," Jessie looked back down at the purple heart pillow she held. "So, are you, like, in love... with her?"
Katie shrugged, "I think I'm a little too young to know what love is. I mean, does anyone our age ever really know if they're in love?"
* * *
Grace watched Eli play with a ceaseless smile.
[[Grace - I love Eli... I always have and I always will. I knew that when I broke up with him. My having feelings for Travis didn't change that either. If anything, I love Eli even more.]]
Carla, sitting next to Grace, nudged her. Grace looked at Carla and nodded in agreement. She thought this song was really good, also. Carla grinned, and looked back at Turk, and Grace noticed the strong amount of emotion in Carla's eyes for the black-haired guitar player. Grace was glad for her friend. Carla deserved someone who would love her back. Grace turned her eyes back on Eli. He was looking at her, and their eyes met.
[[Grace - It scared me, I guess... loving someone so much, when I'm so young. I wasn't sure how to deal with it. And I guess I began listening to other people and their thoughts... instead of listening to mine own. I let them influence me into thinking that maybe I needed to break from Eli to become my own person. But maybe, that was wrong. Maybe I could become my own person, while still... dating Eli.]]
There was a pause between songs, and then Eli launched into the song Grace treasured. The song he had written for her almost a year ago and had put onto a CD for her, along with a bunch of the band's other songs, for her Valentine's Day gift last year. The song called, No Other Grace.
There's a girl I cherish
Brown eyes that will never perish
I couldn't be more gone
But this doesn't feel so wrong
Nothing's left in my mind
Thoughts of her taking up all my time
There's no one else
There's no other Grace
No one could ever take her place
And I try to live and breathe
But I feel her inside of me
I have nothing to fear
Except the one I hold so dear
So life goes on
And I sing her song
There's no one else
There's no other Grace
No one could ever take her place
There's no other Grace
* * *
