Porthos' Log
1.11 Silent Enemy

09:00 hours

Hmm this alien ship's just popped up outside. It's a lovely green colour! I'll recommend repainting the hull green when I see Trip next, I think that colour suits Enterprise.

11:00 hours

Well this is just great. Just great. We've been attacked by an alien ship, and they managed to destroy the one area on the ship worth saving – the cheese storage facilities on B-deck! It's not fair! What's worse, the alien ship didn't respond to hails, so we can't even see if they have some cheese we can have!

14:30 hours

I'm currently out for a walk with Archer and Trip. I had a quick word with Trip while Archer was getting ready, both about getting the hull painted green and also about more hull plating and automated torpedo launchers for the cheese storage section, and he said he would look into both. Here's hoping… Also, Hoshi came by and asked me if I knew what Malcolm's favourite food is, apparently she's on some sort of covert mission… I told her I didn't know. However, knowing fate as I do, it'll probably be leola root or gagh or pineapple or something…

16:00 hours

We're on our way back to Earth! I bet I know why – we're getting the hull painted!!!! Yay!!!!

(one week later) 08:00 hours

It also seems Trip's getting those weapons installed! He's putting some kind of advanced weapon called a 'phase cannon' into the ship. If this is what happens when I make requests, I'm going to be making them a bit more often in the future…

12:00 hours

That lovely green ship's back! And look at those lovely red phase beams splashing against the ship's lovely green shielding! This is almost as nice as Edam cheese! Hey! The green ship's running off! That's not fair! WAAAA!!!!

13:00 hours

More bad news!!! We're not going home anymore! So the ship's not going to get painted! Ah well, at least we got the phase cannons. Speaking of which, I wonder if those 'phasers' that the people in that show call Voyager are anything like them? Well we'll just have to wait and see, I guess…

End Porthos' Log, September 1 2151.