~A Once and Again Series~

The Way We Are

Chapter 23//Those Tough Queries of Mind

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"We'll start out with a gig here in Chicago, so no need for hotels or anything the first weekend. Then we'll travel up and hit Madison..." Eli pointed out on the map he had laid out on the table. They were going to have a nice busy summer. Most of the shows had already sold out or were close to selling out. They had three, maybe four, gigs a week, which left just enough travel time and relaxation time.

Grace nodded as Eli outlined the tour plans for her. She was grinning madly, but couldn't stop herself.

[[Grace - I've barely been out of the state. Sometimes we'd go to Wisconsin, but that was basically it. But, now *grins* I'm going to get to see the whole country! ....And I'm going to do it with Eli by my side.]]

Lily came in and peered over Grace's shoulder at the map. Eli had put stickers on all the places they planned to stop. "That's a lot of places," Lily murmured, "Are you sure you're going to have time to do all of these?"

Eli nodded, "It's all planned out, and the tickets have gone on sale... there's no turning back now." He glanced sideways at Grace and they shared a smile.

"Have you talked with your father?" Lily asked Grace.

Grace's smile faded away, "Uh, not yet. He's been so busy with baby Ethan and all..."

"Grace," Lily said sternly, "I only agreed you could go on this tour if your father agreed with it too."

"I know," Grace snapped, "And I'm going to ask him. We still have a month until school lets out."

"Hmm," Lily said, but her judgment was clear in the tone of her voice. Grace was glad when her mother left the kitchen.

[[Grace - I guess I'm just scared... scared that my father will say no. I really want this to happen, and I don't know what I'd do if... it didn't happen. I'd be so upset if he said no.]]

Eli took Grace's hand in his, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sure he'll say 'yes'."

Grace nodded, but she wasn't so confident.

* * *

"I'm just... so excited!" Grace said cheerfully.

"You should be... it sounds cool," Cynthia said. "You guys will have such a great time."

Carla grinned, munching on a few potato chips, "I'm like so ready to go... I'm so sick of my dad. And his stupid wife. I don't mind my mom as much, and she's letting me go on the tour, so... I love her!"

Cynthia looked closer at Grace, "Your parents are letting you go, even with everything that has gone on between you and Eli in the past?"

Grace gave a meaningful look at Carla. Carla... and Zoe, were like the only people who really knew Grace and Eli were back together, and no matter how much Grace wanted to tell Carla, she couldn't risk it. If her parents found out... Grace shrugged, "Well, my mom knows that Eli and I are just really close friends, now. And it's really just a job. And, my dad... well, I haven't really asked him yet."

"You haven't?" Carla cried. "Grace!"

"I'm going to... soon," Grace said defensively.

"But, what if he doesn't let you!" Carla complained, "Then I'll be alone with Turk and the rest of the guys all the time... and they're fun, but I would get so bored if you weren't there! I need you to come, Grace! You have to!"

"I'm going to," Grace insisted, "I'm sure my father will agree to it."

Grace absentmindedly took a bite of her sandwich, even though her stomach was currently tied in knots.

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"Bo! Bo! Baby! Where's the baby's smile?" Jake chattered in baby talk. He tickled Ethan's little chin. "Ba-bee. Bo! Where's the baby's smile? Oh, there it is! I see your smile! Okay... wait..."

Grace took another sip of her soda and watched her father across the room as he tried to take a picture of Ethan smiling. The camera flash went off, and Ethan started crying. Jake picked him up and soothed him by rubbing the baby's little back.

"That was a good one!" Jake said, as he put the camera away, "That was a good smile for the camera, huh, Ethan?"

Grace swallowed a sigh. She just wanted to get it over with and ask what she had been putting off for the last couple of weeks. But her father was busy cooing at little Ethan.

Tiffany entered the kitchen, and caught Grace's troubled look. She wisely decided it was a perfect time to take Ethan out for a stroll at the park. Thankfully, Tiffany was able to convince Zoe to go along. Grace was left alone with her father.

"Did you want an omelet?" Jake asked, as he plopped a frying pan onto of the stove. "I get so busy taking care of Ethan that I forget to eat!"

"No, I had cereal," Grace said. She let out a deep breath, knowing that now was the perfect time, but somehow being unable to get the words out. She was so terrified he'd say 'no'!

"Are you sure?" Jake asked, as he readied the ingredients.

"I'm sure," Grace said. She twisted in her chair at the table so she could have a better look at her father. Why couldn't she just get out with it? Why couldn't she just ask?

"I was thinking," Jake said over the sizzle of the cooking eggs, "That you could come work at the restaurant this summer. We've been picking up business quite well lately, and we could always use another hand."

"Especially since you wouldn't have to pay me," Grace pointed out.

Jake turned and flashed a teasing smile, "Or... we could just under- pay you."

Grace tried to smile in return, but it fell flat, "Uh, actually, Dad, I had other plans for the summer..."

"You did?" Jake looked at her over his shoulder, waiting for her to go on.

"There's this job I want to take. It's with Eli's band."

Jake turned off the stove and joined Grace at the table with his omelet. "You're going to be a drummer?" He joked. "I never pictured you in a band. You come from a line of talent-less musicians. I used to play the guitar... and I just sucked."

Grace smiled, glad for her dad's sense of humor. It was putting her at ease, and making this easier. Besides, her dad wouldn't say no, would he? "No, it's not 'in' the band, exactly. It's as more of a road-hand. For when they go on tour."

"Anti-Inflammatory is going on tour?" Jake asked between bites.

"Yes, they're going to be an opening act for another band and they want me to come along... to help. They'll pay me," Grace looked down at her can of soda, waiting fro her father's response.

"How long... is the tour?" Jake asked.

Grace looked up and answered, "Basically, for the whole summer."

Jake looked thoughtful.

"It's a really good opportunity," Grace added.

Jake sighed, his fork dropping to the plate. "I don't know how I feel about my daughter spending the whole month out on the road. It's a dangerous country, Grace."

"I know, but I'll be with Eli, and the rest of the band. And Carla's coming too," Grace said.

"Oh, so you and Carla are going to be the groupies for the band?" Jake asked.

Grace frowned, but then looked at her father and realized he was kidding. She gave him a small uncomfortable smile. "I really want to do this, Dad."

"So, I won't see you for three months..." Jake said.

"More like two and a half," Grace said quickly, "And I could write and call. You won't even miss me."

"I will miss you," Jake said with a slight shake of his head. But he was giving in, "Have you talked to your mother about this?"

"Yes." Grace felt her last bit of nervousness slipping away. He was going to let her go! Grace couldn't resist jumping up from her seat and going over to hug her father. "Thanks!"

Jake sighed, but hugged her back, "You will be careful, won't you?"

"Yes!" Grace pulled back at looked at her father's face.

"You'll call every night?" Jake asked.

"Yes. Eli's got a cell phone, so we can just use that." Grace smiled happily. "This is going to be the best summer, ever!"

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"Does Sarah know?" Jessie asked as she spotted the tall dark-haired girl further down in the hallway.

"Know what?" Katie asked cheerfully. Her eyes twinkled secretly at Jessie.

"Does she know... that you like me?" Jessie whispered, the words sounding good to say. Katie liked her... she really did. And Jessie was pretty sure she liked Katie back.

Katie shook her head, "Nope. But, she is pretty observant, and she might have suspected it."

Jessie stomach fell. She didn't want anyone to know! She just wanted it to be between her and Katie. No one else!

Katie caught Jessie's expression, "Don't worry. No one has to know."

Jessie smiled at Katie. She loved that Katie knew what Jessie was thinking. Jessie's smile faltered as Sarah passed them by in the hall. There was no mistaking the dirty look Sarah had thrown Jessie. Katie gave Jessie a sympathic look, "Don't think about Sarah. She doesn't really know anything."

Jessie nodded, but she was suddenly all too aware of the many people passing them by. Could they tell? Was it written on her and Katie's faces? Could everyone see that the two of them had feelings for each other? Jessie nervously turned back to her locker, turning her face away from all the other faces.

Jessie just wished the world would disappear. Then she wouldn't have to worry, and she and Katie could just be... alone, together.

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"Hmm, it looks like a great trip," Jessie said, as she studied the map on the table.

Grace was pleased that there seemed to be no jealousy in Jessie's voice. Zoe had been a little jealous when she had first heard of the plans for the tour, but she had gotten over it once Lily and Rick had agreed to get her a dog.

"You and Eli are going to have a great time," Jessie added, looking at Grace with significance. "Maybe you'll even... get back together."

"Oh, I don't know," Grace said, quickly turning away. She hated all this lying!

"You guys just seem... perfect for each other," Jessie said. Grace turned back around, looking at her stepsister. Jessie seemed to be thinking hard about something, "How do you... know?"

"Know what?" Grace asked.

"When it's right?" Jessie asked, "When you've found the right person... the person you're supposed to be with."

"I don't know if I'm anyone to be giving out advice," Grace said with a shrug, "I mean, look at how I screwed up things with Eli and I."

Jessie was silent. She didn't now exactly how Grace had screwed things up, since Grace had never told her. But, still... Jessie didn't care. She just wanted an answer to her question, it didn't really matter from who.

"Well, I guess you just know," Grace said finally. "That sounds stupid, but just somewhere in the pit of your stomach, you just... know... that this is the right person for you. And, then you seem to fit together perfectly with that person, emotionally, mentally and physically..." Grace blushed, sensing she had said too much. Especially that part about 'physically fitting together'. What if Jessie thought she meant sex...? Would Jessie think Grace and Eli...?

But Grace needed not worry, as Jessie was satisfied with the answer. "Thanks," Jessie said with a smile. She hurried out the room, stopping to grab the cordless phone on the way out. Now, Grace allowed herself to stop thinking about Eli and herself, and to wonder exactly who Jessie had had in mine, when she had asked her questions. Was Jessie in love?

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