Gamblin at the tracks
Each and every day
No wonder I'm so poor –
My money's run away.
Ah, to think of all the things
I could have had
If I would just stop betting –
But that just makes me sad.
I need to bet on the horses
The adrenalin of "who will win?"
Church ain't no fun for me -
They made gambling a sin.
This addiction, I'll never cure
One day my wife will kill me.
That is, if I ever get a wife –
There ain't much of me to see.
I have so many bad habits
It'e enough to drive me crazy.
When I think of all the smoking,
Plus the fact that I'm so lazy.
Eating is a pleasure –
But I do play with my food
And more often then not, after the races,
You'll find me in a terrible mood.
I bite my nails, I chew my lip,
I even snore at night.
And every time I go to the john
I forget to shut the light.
Baths I hardly ever take
But neither do my friends
We're all used to the horrific stench
I'm sure my permeate our beds.
Boys will be boys, Kloppman always says,
And I'm sure he don't notice
When we play cards till three in the morning……
And the garbage can we miss.
Oh, a newsies life is hard enough
Without all the my distractions
No wonder I almost got kicked out –
No one could get any relaxation.
Yes, I might be boorish, I might be rude
I might raise a terrible stink…
But I listened to what my momma always said –
"Anthony, never, ever drink!"
