Disclaimer - So I own these guys? Wanna make somethin' of it?! Rating - PG-13 The Power of Goodbye - Lusan Authors Notes - I would really really really really really really LOVE feedback...it just makes my day! So if anyone has time...whether it's good or bad! At least I know someone cares! Thanks guys! This is my first Lusan so be kind.. ;)

It me by surprise I must say, but from that moment on, I knew we were forever. The second when you looked at me, it was everything to me. One time, years before, I felt like this, I think, but it wasn't meant to be. He was a cowboy, and he wasn't you. Now you're here, and I can't think of anybody else I'd rather be with. It's quite cliché really, I was never the sappy type, I curse those who are, and I despise people who pretend that they are. I'm not pretending, I am the sappy type, at least now anyway. You make me whole, you make me everything.

You are everything, and everything is you. That's our song. Our song. I've never had a 'song' before. But now I have one, I feel as though I've missed out on so much in my life. From when you took my hand to now as you hold my hand lying next to me, you're my everything. I remember when you took my hand, and we danced for the rest of the night. I've never danced like that before, not with anyone, and I never even thought I'd want to. But now I have, I don't regret a thing. One thing I regret is not dancing with you sooner. You kept asking and I kept resisting, 'Dance with me Susan, dance with me', but I ignored your advances and laughed them off as a drunken proposition. But they weren't, and you weren't drunk. And I felt like a fool, but now I feel like a fool in love.

It was when you pulled me onto that told me everyone was watching us, that was when I knew we'd be forever, and I was right. As I lie here, remembering the look on Carter and Abby's face when we kissed. Our first kiss, on that dancefloor, on that night. It was like a dream. I thought I'd care what other people thought if we ever got together, but when it came to it, I didn't care one bit. I wanted to tell the whole world how great we were and how happy I finally was, I guess I've done that now. That night, I go over it over and over again, it's locked into my memory forever. I'll always remember the smell of her cologne as I rested my head on your shoulder, moving closer to your neck as you lay your head on the side of mine, the warmth of your body as we moved closer, the touch of your hands on my hand and my back. I get shivers when I think about it.

Carter and Abby left that night for their honeymoon, and we left that night to start a new life together. To anybody else, it looked rushed and done because we didn't have anybody else. But now, six months on, we're still going strong, and we proved them all wrong. As I lie here, your hand protectively around my stomach, I imagine what life would be like in Croatia. I've never been there, and I'm not sure I want to, but all the stories Luka had told me seemed so beautiful. It sounded like the perfect place to bring up our baby, and to grow old together. But now, we can't, war is so common these days, it's a wonder we're all still living. She sighed, life had its ups and downs, and whenever something good happened, something bad had to happen. The fact that she was two months pregnant and Luka still had no idea made matters slightly complicated. How he would react was the main concern on her mind, and she struggled with ideas of how to tell him until the sun rose, and that damn alarm went off.

"Good morning." Luka said as he opened his eyes slowly.

He squinted through the streams of light that was shining on his face. Susan smiled at him and then looked at the clock. 10.46am. First time she'd had a lie in for God knows how long, not that it mattered, she hadn't even gone to sleep anyway. Another day at work, oh no wait, it was her day off. She sighed again with relief and then snuggled back down into the comfort of Luka's arms.

"Morning." She replied finally after yawning hugely and then coughing.

"You have a cold?"

"No."

"Sure?"

"Of course. Just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"You didn't?"

"Not really. I haven't been sleeping for ages."

"Any particular reason?" He asked, concerned as he moved closer to her and put his face into her neck, warm and cosy he figured.

"Not sure. Probably not. Just restless I guess."

"You got work today?"

"No. I'm off till tomorrow evening. On at 5."

"Lucky you."

"When are you on again?"

"11."

"You better go you're gonna be late!" She shouted, it was gone quarter to eleven already.

"No tomorrow morning."

"Oh. Well you can stay just here then."

"Try and stop me." He said as he started kissing her neck.

She lay back as he began kissing her all over, another trip to heaven coming up. But then she remembered what happens when things like this happen, a pregnancy happens. She wanted children, sure, but not now. It just wasn't good timing at all. She couldn't cope with another baby anyway, not after what happened with little Susie. She smiled remembering the time they had together, and then she frowned at remembering how she lost Susie to Chloe. She would never forget that day. It was imprinted on her mind forever, another sad memory she'd rather soon forget, but she knew she wouldn't.

Memories were a precious thing, some were good, some were bad. She reasoned with herself whether she'd only want to remember the good memories, but then she decided the bad ones were the ones that made her the woman she was today. If Chloe hadn't run off and abandoned her with Susie for months, she wouldn't have this closeness she has with Little Susie now, and then she wouldn't have left Chicago and met some really great people, and then she wouldn't have come back and eventually, met Luka. Things always happen for a reason, whether it seems like they do or not at the time, everything works out in the end. Susan was strong, she always had been, but learning to deal with what had happened to her and her life in the past few years was hard, but she was still here. Now carrying her own child she wondered if it would be any different.

She shook off her thoughts when she realised Luka was talking to her.

"Sorry what?" She said shaking herself out of a thoughtful and never ending pit of worry.

"I said are you okay?" He said as he lay on top of her looking slightly worried.

"What? Yeah I'm fine. Carry on!" She joked as she looked away.

He sighed and moved over to her side and then leant on his arm.

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong! Why do you think that?!"

"The fact that you were sighing, the fact that your mind was somewhere completely different to here, the fact that I was kissing you and you didn't even realise. You don't need to be a mind reader to see something is bothering you. So you might as well tell me and save time now."

He smiled and stayed put waiting for her to speak. He was so good at this, listening and guessing when there was something wrong. He was a mind reader, no other guys had ever realised when she didn't wanna talk, or when something was bothering her.

"Nothing. It's just..God I don't know where to start."

"How about from the beginning."

"Things happen for a reason right?"

"Of course."

"Okay. So if something happened with us, then you would just figure it was fate or whatever right?"

"Depends what it was."

"Okay. Hypothetically, say if I was pregnant. How would you react?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking what would you do."

"Oh. I guess I'd be happy."

"Really?!" She said surprised, tilting her head back to see his face better.

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know."

"Is that it?"

"What?"

"That was bothering you."

"Yeah pretty much."

"Good cos I want to take you out today."

"Aren't you on at 5?"

"Not anymore." He said as he picked up the phone and began dialling the ER's number.

"Hello is Dr Weaver there? Thank you. Hi Kerry. It's Luka. I'm coming down with the flu I won't be in today. Yes I will. Thanks bye."

He hung up the receiver and lay back down facing Susan, both lying on their sides. He leaned over and kissed her head smiling.

"See?"

"I can't believe that!"

"What? I want to take my favourite person out on my sick day. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing I guess.!"

"Okay. Get dressed then."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"I know."

She laughed at his unbothered manner and got out of bed moaning.

"It's so cold!" She said as she ran to the bathroom and shut the door quickly. He heard a huge sigh of relief coming from inside.

"You okay in there?"

"Yeah I'm sitting on the radiator!"

"Oh." He laughed and then began getting dressed.

Half an hour later they were both dressed and in Luka's viper going along the freeway.

"Can't you tell me now?!"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"Not any time soon."

"Okay. Can't you give me a clue?!"

"Nope."

"Oh come on Luka! I wanna know!"

"It's not a big deal."

"It probably is! You won't tell me!"

"Okay I'll tell you when we get there."

"Well that's gonna do a lot of good isn't it!"

"Be patient. You'll see soon enough."

He carried on driving smiling at the impatient woman on his right. She kept fidgeting and playing with her hands the whole way. He knew she did that when she was nervous.

Why is he doing this to me?! He knows I hate being nervous. It's probably the worst feeling ever. My palms get all hot and sweaty and my cheeks get hot. My ears are burning now. Great. I hope we're almost there. Wait, what's that? The mall? Oh great, lunch at McDonalds. Classy guy. She slapped herself for being stupid, he was probably taking her to lunch somewhere really nice and she's being sarcastic just cos he wouldn't tell her where they were going. I can be so selfish sometimes, she thought to herself as they drove into a space.

"The mall?"

"The mall."

"What are we doing here?"

"Wait and see."

"You said you'd tell me when we got here!"

"You complained so I withdrew that offer."

"Luka!" She shouted as he walked away smirking. "You're such an ass!"

They walked hand in hand laughing and talking all the way, through the mall, past different shops and stalls. Not once did they stop and look in one, the conversation was obviously so compelling they failed to notice anything or anyone around.

"Here we are." Luka suddenly said, interrupting Susan.

"Mothercare?!" She said laughing slightly. "I think we both grew out of these clothes a while ago. Nice thought though. I think." She said curiously.

"I thought we could buy some baby stuff." He said normally as he took her hand and pulled a very confused looking Susan with him into the shop. "You know, prepare and everything."

"Prepare for what?"

"The baby."

"The baby." She repeated uncertainly.

"Yeah." He said confidently as he moved round to stand in front of her. "I know Susan. And I'm really happy."

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