( ~ denotes song lyrics. I changed POV's.....so don't let it fool ya :)

~It took me by surprise When I saw you standing there Close enough to touch Breathing the same air You asked me how I'd been I guess that's when I smiled and said just fine Oh but baby I was lying~

It had been a month since I last saw Terry. I hadn't seen or heard from him since the day he left when we ran into eachother at the supermarket.

" Hey." I said, happy to see him. He looked up at me and smiled.

" Hey yourself Michaela, how have you been?" he asked, sweet as ever.

" Just fine, how have you been Mr. Hardcore champion?" I asked, I watched wrestling with Terry when he was home, and now I clung to every chance I could to get to see him. I watched every show the WWF had on TV untill he came on.

" I've been good, it's a tough job though." he said, smiling.

" Looks like it, you've got a huge bruise on your arm." I said, touching his swollen arm gently.

" It's nothing, just a steel chair." he said. To him it was nothing, but to me it was one huge ass bruise.

" Yeah, uh hu, nothing." I said nodding. He suddenly looked down at his watch and at his nearly empty cart.

" Well, um, I've got to get going. Jay, Adam and a few of the guys are coming over to the apartment, and there's nothing to eat." he said. He seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden, I wondered what was up.

" Oh, well I'd hate to keep a bunch of hungary wrestlers waiting." I said chuckling. He smiled.

" I'll see you later." he said, begining to push his cart away.

" Later." I said, watching him walk away.

~What I really meant to say Is I'm dying here inside I miss you more each day There's not a night I haven't cried And baby here's the truth I'm still in love with you That's what I really meant to say

And as you walked away The echo of my words Cut just like a knife Cut so deep it hurt I held back the tears Held on to my pride and watched you go I wonder if you'll ever know ~
I mentally kicked myself as I walked away. Why couldn't I tell him that I really loved him, that I hadn't got a good nights sleep since he left, that I called out for him when I had a bad dream, that I needed him as much as I need the air I breath. But I was too stuborn. Damn it. How could I just let the man I love walk away from me like that?

~What I really meant to say Is I'm really not that strong No matter how I try I'm still holding on And here's the honest truth I'm still in love with you That's what I really meant to say~
I was to afraid that Terry didn't love me in return. What if he didn't? I don't know what I'd do if he just said " I don't love you like that." It would tear me apart. I know it and I wouldn't be able to look at myself or anyone else ever again. I couldn't stand it. But what if he did love me? What if he felt the same way about me that I did him?

A dull ache started to form above my eyes as I walked to the checkout counter. I saw him taking a cart full of bags out the door and sighed. Too many questions, but not enough guts to get the answers.

(Author's note: Thanks Nik for the review, I can always count on you :) The song is by Cyndi Thomson and is called "What I Really Ment to Say" I heard it on CMT, yes I said CMT, this morning and I thought it was really good. Wellp Ta Ta For Now !! ~R.G.)