A.N
As usual, thanks for the reviews, and sorry this took so long.
I had to make a slight amendment to the very end of the last chapter, which needs to be read for this to make sense. It was one of those really obvious things which didn't occur to me til just after I had posted that chapter.
Read and enjoy, and please, please, please review if you get a minute.
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She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Thoughts chased erratically through her head; what had been what was to come, what to have for breakfast. The Slayer resisted the urge to pull a pillow over her face and head on back to heaven. Bad Buffy! Not supposed to think like that anymore she scolded herself mentally. That thought made her sit up with a jolt. I didn't mean it! I thought it in the same way Mom used to say "Let's head for Vegas!" A nice idea in theory, but never gonna happen. Wow. Guess I really am back in the world of the living.
I still don't want to get up and face today.
She dragged herself out of bed and into the shower, letting the powerful jets of water pummel her into wakefulness. Her mind focused and settled, running over the events of the past few days and nights. Willow. Willow was a killer now, and no matter what she did, not matter how much good she had done in the past or in the future, that knowledge would always be with her. Buffy knew what that felt like. True, the only human she had actually killed was that order of Teraka guy, whilst she was fighting for her life, and he had been more monster than man anyway. but she had thought she had killed before, other than in a kill or die situation. Sorry fella. You sign up with the order of Teraka, I ain't gonna feel guilty about you. First with Ted and just recently with Katrina though. she would always remember the feeling, that greasy ball of guilt in your stomach. It flavoured everything you ate, you saw, you thought. Willow was going to have to live with that for the rest of her life.
Too difficult. Moving on. Dawn. Jesus. Dawn's a Slayer now. How come none of us saw that one coming?
After Cordelia left them all in the Magick Box the day before, they had separated. Willow had gone home with Xander, she wasn't ready to be in the room Tara had died. She didn't know if she ever would be. Buffy and Dawn took Giles home, Willow staying with Xander at least meant he could have a bed this time rather than the sofa. Anya disappeared back to where ever she had been staying since she had turned back into a vengeance demon.
Once they got home, a journey made in silence because all three of them were mentally exhausted, and not too far behind physically, Buffy, Dawn and Giles crawled into there respective beds without managing to shower or even take their clothes off. Buffy wasn't at all surprised to wake up four hours later, completely refreshed. Four hours sleep for a Slayer was like sleeping round the clock for most people. She was rather surprised however, to find Dawns legs and lower body in the kitchen. Her head and upper body were lost somewhere in the depths of the fridge. 'Couldn't sleep huh?'
'Geez Buffy! Don't sneak up on me like that.'
'Sorry.' She grinned at her sister, unrepentant. 'So.How ya' feeling? Break anything yet?'
'What do you mean? I don't often break things do I?'
'When I first got my super strength, I was always breaking crockery and stuff cause I couldn't put things down gently enough.' She explained.
'Oh, that.well, the kitchen wear is fine, but I've been having a little problem with doors.'
'Don't sweat it Dawnie. That's why Xander is a carpenter. Seriously, how are you feeling?'
'I feel great. Honestly' she added at Buffy's sceptical look. 'When we got back from the Magick shop, I thought I was gonna sleep for a week, but now I feel wide awake. I'm really revved Buffy, its crazy.'
'Welcome to the life of a Slayer. Only needing three hours sleep a night is one of the few perks.' She hugged her sister, hard, harder than she ever had before. For a second Dawn gasped, her breath squeezed out of her, then she started to hug her sister back, as hard as she could.
Eventually, they stepped back, but kept their hands linked, a solid bond between them 'What now?' Dawn finally asked.
'A question with so many levels' Buffy muttered ruefully. 'Right now, we eat. After an all-nighter, once I've grabbed a few hours sleep, all I wanna do is eat, you know, stock up on carbs. and stuff so.pizza?'
'Yay. Eating as much pizza as you want and not worrying about burning it off is another plus point of being a Slayer ya'know.' She took a breath, staring hard at the wall behind Buffy's head, as if she was hoping a script for what she knew was going to be a difficult conversation would suddenly appear on it. 'So.after food, what now? With me, with Willow.Cordelia said she was going to bring Angel back, and Spike's gone and.' With each new topic to worry about, Dawns' speech got faster and more high pitched until she had to stop because she couldn't go any faster or higher.
'I don't know Dawnie. Hence the food. Food's for thought, right? Something like that anyway.' She sighed, dragged a hand through her hair. Gotta face it sooner or later... 'Okay, well. with you, at least I kind of know what I'm doing now. We train, we research, if you look like you're going nuts we don't let anyone try and take you to England.' She offered a feeble grin 'seriously, I'm not really worried about you. After the way you handled yourself today.yesterday.last night.whenever that was. anyway, yeah, well, I mean, it's tough, and believe me, Giles doesn't go easy with the training and everything, but I figure you know what to expect, and I'm here to help you and stuff. To be honest Dawnie, you really are the least of my worries.' She trailed of, lost in thought again. She just couldn't get passed what Willow had done, what she had become. Carpei Diem. Never again. The memories rushed in on her of the sweet, shy girl who said that to her, as they sat on the benches outside their high school. Even then, they had seen too much. They thought they knew it all back then, they thought they had seen things as bad as they could get. Guess you just never know.
'Buffy?' a hand waved in front of her face. 'Hey, Buffy, where'd you go?' She started, leant back. 'Sorry, just thinking about.about Willow. Geez Dawn. As close as I am to having a clue with you, with her I'm that close to not having one.' She started to pace the kitchen. 'How do I help her, how do I even begin to understand what she's feeling? She killed, in rage, with magick. That's going to be with her every moment for the rest of her life. How can I help her decide how to act in the future, how to use her magick properly? Besides the fact that I don't understand magick, I'm hardly the poster child for grace under pressure. She hasn't even dealt with the fact that Tara's gone. What do I do when she has to face that? When Angel left me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember I told Willow, I was just trying to keep from dieing. On top of everything else, how do I help her with that!?' She stared at her sister, desperate for inspiration, then looked down and their joined hands. 'And then we have Angel, and that's a whole other kettle of I don't even want to think about it.'
Dawn eyed her sister speculatively. 'You know, you've never really talked to me about Angel. Even when you were together - '
'Dawn, look - '
'No, Buffy, it's okay. I'm not criticising you, I mean, I wasn't really here when the two of you were together, and none of us understood your relationship, so I doubt a bunch of monks could of, and explained it to me. All I'm saying is, maybe it would help you to talk about it now. I know you're not huge on the sharing, but if that whole thing with Sweets taught us anything, it's that we have to talk to each other.' She grabbed a half eaten, cold pizza out of the fridge, and then led her sister through to the sitting room, where they both sat down on the sofa. She left the box, unopened, on the table in front of them, and then faced her sister.
'Buffy, I'm not going to tell you I understand your relationships, I can only give you my take on it all, and I have a feeling I missed a whole bunch, but talk to me, please. You don't have to protect me anymore. You can't protect me anymore.'
Buffy stared at her sister, confusion, anguish, anger, all swirling through her mind. 'Oh Dawnie, the reason I don't talk about it is because most of the time I don't have a clue what I'm doing!' She sat back on the sofa, running a hand over her hair. 'My whole life - '
'Whoa Buffy, let's take this one issue at a time. Angel, well the men in your life. Let's start with them.'
She nodded at her little sister, and then looked away, picking up a cushion from the seat next to her and started worrying the corner of it. 'Okay, well.God. You don't pick the easy ones, do you? The men in my life. Since I got back, you know. well anyway, I've done a lot of thinking. At first, I didn't want to remember what it was like, in heaven, but later, I started thinking about it more. You know stuff when you're up there, about others and intentions and stuff. I don't remember much of it, but I'm working on getting it back. Angel is the love of my life. I tried to convince myself he wasn't, that he was my first love, and he would always be special, but there would be someone else someday who could make me feel the way he did, but I was fooling myself. For a while, I got so hung up on normal that I couldn't see normal was making me, and a good man, miserable. He really was y'know, good I mean. Reilly might have been dull, and pompous, and kinda gullible, but he has a good heart. I'm glad he was able to find someone to love him the way I couldn't.' She stared at the cushion in her hands, realising that she was in danger of pulling it to bits, and leaving stuffing all over the floor. Deliberately, she put it aside and looked over at her sister.
'I think I knew that, I mean, even Xander knew that what you felt for Reilly just didn't compare to what you had with Angel.' She smiled guiltily, 'I remember telling Reilly once that he was so much better for you than Angel, that with him you were always pretty level, but with Angel you could never tell if you were going to be crying your eyes out or over the moon. I really did mean it as a compliment.'
They shared a moment of understanding. 'I understand wanting to be normal, believe me I do.' Dawn took a breath before continuing so many ways that this could come out wrong. 'And I think I get all the stuff with Reilly, but.'
'But what happened with Spike?' Buffy finished for her. Dawn nodded, relieved her sister had understood what she wanted to ask, but having no clue what the answer might be. 'I know he didn't have a soul, but he loved you Buffy, he really did. Xander said he. tried to attack you, but he loved you, and he made you smile when none of us could.' She ran out of words.
Buffy picked up the cushion again, realised what she was doing and put it back. Then she smoothed down her hair, twitched the comforter back into place on the back of the sofa and searched for lint on her top before she could bring herself to answer her sisters' question. 'Spike.Dawn, Spike was like a drug for me. When I first got back, everything was so hard. I couldn't feel anything, no happiness, no sadness, pain, excitement, nothing. Everything was just.grey. Except with Spike. He made me feel. At first it was because he wasn't involved in bringing me back. I hadn't even realised it myself, but I was punishing everyone, for bringing me back, by pulling away. Spike wasn't part of that. He didn't keep asking if I was okay, I didn't have to put on an act for him. I could just be. And by just being, I started to feel, a little. I was physically attracted to him, and he understood me, in a way Reilly never could have.' She gave a half laugh. 'The first time we had sex, we knocked the building down. That's what it was like between us. No tenderness, we weren't making love, we were making war. And he made me feel. He made me feel disgust, he made me hate myself, because in the end the only thing making him any different from those things I kill every night, was that chip in his head. He wouldn't have loved me without it, he wouldn't have saved you without it. I know he loved me Dawn, But he's still a monster. I guess I'd turned him into some kind of harmless pet in my head. Every time I was with him, I hated myself a little bit more, but even hating myself was better than feeling nothing, so I kept going back. I couldn't stop myself from going back. It wasn't until Reilly found us together, and showed me what Spike was doing, dealing in demon eggs on the black market, that I realised he's not some harmless puppy. He's still a creature of evil Dawnie, even though he loves me, and he'd die for you, he's evil. I realised that being with him was insulating me from facing life, and dealing with my problems. I had to end.whatever it was between us, because in the end it would have destroyed us both.' She fell silent, unsure of what to say next.
The silence stretched between them, until eventually Dawn broke it. 'So, back to Angel.'
'Back to Angel. I just don't know Dawnie. I know he's changed a lot since he moved away, we both have. I haven't spoken to him in months, not since just after I got back, and I think we were both kind of in shock then. I know I love him, but communicating was never our strong point. Even if we do manage to talk it out, if he does still love me, the curse is still there Dawnie! We couldn't get round it last time, why should things be any different just because a few years have passed!' Her voice was close to a sob as she finished. She turned away from Dawn, covering her face with her hands and taking deep breaths so try and clam herself.
She felt Dawns' hand on her shoulder, but couldn't bring herself to look up. 'Things have changed since he left Buffy. I think somewhere between Willow being the most powerful Wicca on earth, and Cordelia being a Higher Being, they'll be able to fix the curse. All you have to concentrate on is working out what you're going to say to him when he arrives. And be honest with him!!!'
Buffy raised her head, offered Dawn a watery smile. 'Couldn't we find another apocalypse instead? I know what to do with them.'
Dawn grinned at her sister, then pulled her in for another bone crunching hug. 'Let's eat this pizza, then we can figure out what to do until everyone else wakes up. Since Cordelia cleaned up the Magick Box, it looks like we've got a free day to ourselves.'
This time Buffy grinned, a dastardly deed forming in her mind. 'Oh I know what we can do. Seeing as the shop is already cleaned up, we can get a start on your training. How do you fancy some light sparing, with Slayer strength that is?'
Dawn gulped. 'This is gonna hurt, isn't it?'
'Probably.' Buffy singsonged, 'but don't worry, you'll heal really quickly.'
Together, the two sisters ate the rest of the cold pizza, then cleaned up, grabbed some work out clothes, and headed out.
At seven that evening, Giles stirred in his bed. He didn't think he had ever been as exhausted as he had been when he had fallen into bed that morning, but know he was awake, and quite peckish. Between jet lag, getting the crap kicked out of him by Willow and being healed by Cordelia, his body clock was completely knackered. Deciding that there was no point in staying in bad any longer, as he wasn't sleepy and he wasn't injured, he rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After a shower, a shave and a change of clothes, he felt remarkably good, especially considering how close to death he had been. He wondered downstairs, intent on finding himself something to eat. He'd stashed a jar of Marmite on top of one of the kitchen cupboards last time he stayed here, well out of Buffy's and Dawn's reach. The likelihood of either of them dusting up there was slim to none, so he was looking forwards to a nice cup of tea and some Marmite on toast. After that, he would have to put his brain in gear and start pondering the ramifications of the last few days. Marmite first. I always think better after I've had something to eat and a nice cup of tea.
As he puttered about the kitchen, fixing his snack and clearing up the odds and ends that had been left lying about, he enjoyed the silence, wondering what Buffy was up to. Knowing how little sleep she needed, he thought she must have been up for hours. Dawn too, I suppose. I never gave any thought to the possibility of her being a Slayer too. I suppose it partially stems from the monks doing there work so well. When we didn't know what she was, there was no way she could have been called, siblings never are. After we found out, well, there was just so much going on. Should have seen that one coming old man. He heard the front door opening, and the noise of Buffy and Dawns' chatter spilled into the house ahead of them. Carrying his plate in one hand and cup of tea in the other, he went to meet them.
'Hello. Where have you two been?' Dawn staggered passed him and flung herself onto the sofa.
'I quit. I don't mind the slaying bit, but I quit training with Buffy.' She gave Giles a puppy dog look. 'Can't you train me Giles, please? Because if I have many more sessions like that, I'm going to be the shortest lived Slayer ever! Dead from exhaustion!'
Giles grinned at Dawns' antics. The younger Summers seemed to be taking the news of her Slayerness very well. With Buffy's' example to follow, she would be fine. 'Much as I'd love to train you Dawn, I don't think it would be the wisest course of action. You have an opportunity no other Slayer has ever had, to be trained by someone who has actually lived the life, not just read about it in books. Besides,' his grin turned mischievous, 'I really don't think I could survive the early days of Slayer training again. Some of my worst nightmares revolve around the first time I gave Buffy a quarter staff!'
'Hey! Oh. I can't really argue with you on that one, can I?' Buffy's expression went from indignant to fakely contrite. When she thought back of all the times she had accidentally, and accidentally, punched, kicked, flipped, dropped and generally beaten Giles up, particularly in the early years, it was actually quite surprising he wasn't running for the hills at the thought of a new Slayer to train.
'I think I'll take a more executive role this time.' He smirked at the girls. 'I'll do the theory, the research etc. I might even see if I can dig out Buffy's' copy of the handbook. It's not like she ever used it! Anyway, I'll come up with a training schedule, and Buffy can be the one you practise beating up. She heals quicker than I do anyway.'
'Gee thanks Giles' Buffy growled at him playfully. 'Just what I needed, another complication in my life.'
At the mention of the word complication they all sobered. 'Sooo' said Dawn 'are we any closer to having a plan yet?' She looked to Giles and Buffy, waiting expectantly. For her whole life, whenever it came to the crunch, these two came up with a plan. She didn't see why it should be any different now.
Giles and Buffy shared a look. They knew Dawn was expecting then to come up with an answer. She didn't realise it yet, but pretty soon Dawn was going to have to start coming up with plans too. Taking the lead, Giles moved the conversation out of the hall and into the living room. 'Dawn, until we know what we're facing, there is no way we can start to plan.anything about it, whatever it is.' He took a breath. 'One thing we do need to plan though, and as soon as possible, is Tara's funeral.' If he had looked up, he would have seen Buffy and Dawn's heads both bowed, they're eyes shining with tears. As it was, he was too busy trying to blink back his own tears whilst staring at the table to notice. 'We have to notify her family, although I doubt they'll want anything to do with it. She told me that since she refused to go back with them last year, every attempt she's made at contacting them has gone unanswered. I also think that we should ask Willow what kind of ceremony we should give her.' He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes, then continued to fiddle with the frame instead of replacing them. 'I know that Wicca has its own rules on how to deal with its dead, although I don't know much about the actual rites.'
Dawn sniffed and wiped her own tears with her right hand, her left gripping Buffy's tightly. 'Willow's going to be okay though, right? I mean.' she looked searchingly, beseechingly at Buffy and Giles. 'I mean, I know it's gonna be super hard for her, and she's going to have to fight like crazy, but we're all going to help her and support her, and eventually she's going to get back to being like she used to be, right?'
Giles took Dawns other hand in both of his, offering what comfort he could. 'Dawn, sometimes, no matter how hard you want things to, no matter how much you wish, things can never go back to the way they were. Even when they look the same way they used too, under the surface, its different now.'
'But - '
'Dawnie,' Buffy squeezed her other hand. 'No matter how much you want to, you can never go back. No matter how hard we wish, we can't turn back time, erase a day.' Buffy felt a twinge in the back of her mind, a ghost of déjà vu. She realised it was one of the forgotten memories of when she had been.not here.but she pushed it away. Don't have time to deal with that right now. She focused her attention on her sister. 'Willow's going to need all of us, just to get through the next few days, the funeral and contacting Taras' family. After that, she's going to have to start dealing with what she did, and what she's become.' Seeing the look on Dawn's face, Buffy hurried to explain. 'A magickal being and a warrior for the light. She has to start on her redemption. At least we've got an expert on that coming to visit.' Letting go of her sisters' hand after one final squeeze, Buffy scrubbed both her hands over her face, then up and into her hair. She didn't want to sit still any more. 'Come on Dawnie.' She jumped to her feet. 'Enough of this.' she waved a hand around the sitting room. 'How 'bout you and me get ready and go looking for trouble?' seeing the excitement on her sisters' face, she felt a need to add, 'and by that I do mean patrolling.'
Dawn leapt up to, grinning. 'Yay! Just let me go change and then we can go! You and me! Patrolling! Together! And you actually asked me to come! This is so cool!' With another excited yip she powered out of the room and up the stairs, leaving Giles and Buffy staring in her wake.
Giles sniffed resignedly. 'The novelty will wear off soon I'm sure.'
Buffy nodded ruefully. 'Oh yeah. Get tossed on a few grave stones, kicked in the head and your brand new outfit ruined all in one night, and the novelty is long gone!' She smiled at her watcher. Physically she was fine, but emotionally she was still tired. 'Giles - '
'There's nothing you can do tonight. Take Dawn out, although I suspect that most of the demons and vampires are still hiding after last night. It should be an easy first patrol for her.' He hugged her close, a comforting, paternal gesture. 'Tomorrow will come soon enough. We'll meet at the Magick Box in the morning, and maybe Cordelia will have some news on whatever it is that's coming.' He kissed her forehead. 'Go and enjoy some time with your sister.' He guided her over to the weapons chest, so that she could choose suitable accessories for the night ahead, and then bade them both good night. 'And come in quietly! Most people need more sleep than you two!' he called as he closed the door.
Wondering up to the room he was staying in, at least for the next few nights, he put the Rolling Stones on the CD player, grabbed a glass from the bathroom, and reached in his bag for his duty free. On the flight over, he'd been worried sick about what he would find on his arrival, and hadn't touched it. Now, a glass or three of Isle of Jura, his favourite single malt, seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. Lying back on the bed, he allowed the music to wash over him, emptying his mind of everything. Plenty of time to worry when there's actually something I can do about it. He took another sip of his whiskey, and shut his eyes.
Across town, Xander stared into his darkened bedroom, looking for any signs of wakefulness from the hump buried under the covers. She hadn't spoken a word on the trip back to his apartment. Once they'd arrived, she just sat in the car, showing no signs of getting out of it. Eventually he had gone around and opened her door, startling her as he put his hand on his arm. He could see the pain, the grief, the fear, all trying to hide under the blankness in her eyes. Saying nothing, he'd carried her up to the apartment and then sat with her on his knee, rocking her through her sobs and into silence. Eventually, she had gotten off his lap, which was by then completely numb, and gave him a tearful smile of gratitude. It was the same smile she had given him in kindergarten when he had told Cordelia to leave her alone and stop teasing her, accept the sadness behind the smile was depthless now, unfathomable to him.
'I'm gonna try and get some sleep, okay?' She drifted towards the couch.
'Will, wait.' She stopped, looked back. 'You need to eat something first.' When she looked like she was going to refuse, he gave her his most pathetic puppy dog look. 'Please Will? Just for me? I'll let you have the bedroom and everything.'
She sighed. 'Sure.'
She ate what he had put in front of her, although Xander suspected if he'd put the waxed fruit bowl in front of her she'd have eaten it and not commented. She even washed up, and then she had kissed his cheek, and gone to bed. Xander grabbed a blanket and took the couch. Having slept for eight hours he had woken himself up by falling off the couch, and realised he'd better check on Willow. Apart from the slight movement of her body which showed she was still breathing, she slept like the dead. At least she's not having nightmares. Although he knew from experience, eventually they would come. Not now though.
Moving into his kitchen, he threw together a snack and considered phoning Buffy. Nah. We'll see her tomorrow, and I don't want to wake Dawn or Giles.that should probably be just Giles. He sighed. Little Dawnie's a Slayer. At least she's got a good role model. Hope she doesn't remember too many of Faiths' tricks. His mind wondered to some of Faiths' tricks, ones only he had seen. Bad Xander! You'd think with my track record I'd have learned to steer clear of women by now!
He considered his options for the evening. It wasn't that late, he could head over to the bronze, but he didn't want to leave Willow alone. He could run over to the video store.or just watch T.V.Or he could to back to sleep. Dead boy, Wesley and Cordelia were all coming in tomorrow. He wanted to be rested. It was going to be an interesting day.
The next morning, Buffy was racing round the house, trying to decide what to wear. A phone call to Xander had decided they would meet at the Magick Box at 10.00am. Figuring that Cordelia probably knew where and when to find them, this meant that in just over an hour she was going to see Angel again. She was going to have to come up with some options for Willow. She was going to have to deal with another apocalypse prophesy. The last one was by far the least of her worries. And top of the list right now is that I've already been up for two hours and I still haven't got any idea what to wear! Mindlessly rifling through her wardrobe, she though about last nights patrol. It had gone well. They'd only found two vamps, and Dawn had staked both of them, although Buffy had been holding one of them down at the time. Still, for the most part Buffy had stayed in the background, and Dawn had acquitted herself nobly. Now there's a Giles phrase for you. With some desperation she dragged on a pair of jeans, and then just as quickly dragged them off. Don't want to look too casual! She raced into Dawns room. 'Have you seen my black fitted shirt?'
Dawn stared at her. 'The one we buried you in?'
'Oh. Forgot. Never mind.' She ran out again.
Dawn climbed off her bed and wondered into her sisters' room. She'd been up for hours too, but in that time had managed to get showered and dressed, eat breakfast and fill almost fifteen pages of her diary with recent events. As far as she could tell Buffy had managed a thirty second phone call to Xander and to change her clothes about a hundred times. Most of her wardrobe now seemed to be on her bedroom floor. Buffy stood in the middle of the chaos in her underwear and jewellery. That was the only thing she hadn't changed once. The cross that Angel had given her when they first met, and on the chain with it, her claddagh ring. Dawn wasn't sure what the story was with the ring, Buffy had never told her, but she figured it was a big deal. On more than one occasion, especially in the days of Angelus, Dawn had seen her crying over it.
Carefully making her way around the mounds of clothes on the floor, Dawn picked up a new, crinkle cut, burgundy, button down shirt, and some grey pants. 'Here. These look good on you.' Buffy smiled gratefully. The decision had been made. At that point Buffy felt she was incapable of telling whether she was looking great or should put a bag over her head.
'Thanks Dawnie.'
'You're welcome. Now let's get some breakfast, and don't tell me you're not hungry you lady, or there'll be no cookies for you later!' Dawn spoke mock sternly to her sister, wagging her finger as she spoke. Buffy laughed and followed her sister downstairs.
In the kitchen they found Giles, just finishing his second cup of tea and his marmite on toast. 'Morning.' He greeted both girls, and then went back to his newspaper. 'I know we've all seen it before, but the people of this town really do amaze me. Look at this.' He gestured with his toast at the article he was reading. 'Talks about surface earthquakes with no detectable epicentre. They've even got alleged "experts" talking about "a new seismic geological phenomenon." I think these people carry shovels with them everywhere they go so they can bury they're heads in the sand more efficiently!' He crunched his toast disgustedly before continuing 'and the police are a minor miracle. "The building just seemed to fall down. No explanation could be give." Bloody hell.' He crunched his toast again, and then mumbled something about blind, arrogant and wilfully ignorant. Then he stopped talking because Buffy and Dawn were sending him dirty looks for spraying toast crumbs everywhere.
Grabbing juice and cereal each, the girls joined Giles at the breakfast bar, where the three of them ate in silence, contemplating the day ahead. Eventually, Dawn broke the silence. 'So, what do you think's gonna happen today? Do you think Cordelia's gonna like, take us all somewhere new to fight this big bad? Or maybe she'll bring it to us. Maybe it's someone Angel is fighting in L.A and he needs help with it. Or maybe - '
'Dawn! We don't know.' She smiled to soften the hard edge of her tone, and hoped Dawn wouldn't get in a snit about it. She really didn't feel like handling Dawn having a tantrum right now.
Surprisingly, Dawn smiled apologetically. 'Sorry. I guess I'm just kind of nervous, but also excited, y'know, and then I feel bad, cos of Willow, but then - '
'Dawn.' This time it was Giles who interrupted her. 'We understand. We're all a bit keyed up at the moment. Why don't you two finish getting ready, and we can head to the magick shop a little early.'
Nodding her agreement, Dawn got to her feet, then, seeing the look on Buffy's face, she shot out her hand and grabbed Buffy's' arm. 'No. You are not changing your clothes again!' When Buffy looked like she was about to argue, Dawn put on her strict mum voice again. 'I want you to go upstairs, brush your teeth and finish your make up and be back down here in fifteen minutes young lady.' She resumed her own voice. 'You start messing with your outfit again, we won't be ready to leave this time tomorrow!'
In Xanders apartment, Willow was stuck with a similar dilemma, except it wasn't her own clothes she had to choose from, it was Anyas. 'It's not that I'm not really glad I've got something to wear, especially after I burned what I was wearing before, but come on Xander, most of this stuff, it just.it isn't me, y'know.' She held up a particularly small tank top, and winced.
Xander smiled reassuringly. He actually thought that, after everything that had happened, what she wore really didn't matter, but he had been around women long enough to know that a man should never voice an opinion on the matter of what a woman was, could or might wear. 'Never fear Will, I have an idea. Why don't you see if you can find some pants or jeans in there that fit you, and you can wear one of my shirts over it?'
She smiled gratefully. 'I know it doesn't really matter, but obsessing over this stops me worrying about all the things I've done, and what's gonna happen.'
'I know Will.' He hugged her to his chest. 'No matter what, you're my best friend. You'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you.' He held her by the shoulders so he could look in her eyes. 'Now come on. Get some clothes on cause we are moving out!'
As it turned out, Buffy took a few minutes more to finish getting ready than expected, so the two groups arrived at the magick shop at the same time. Seeing the apprehension on Willow's face, Dawn and Buffy both shot out of the car and over to her with Slayer speed. Grabbing their friend between them, they hugged her. Unfortunately, Dawn hadn't quite got the hang of her Slayer strength, and Willow started to choke, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. Giles came over and gently squeezed her shoulder, before herding them all inside. They all felt a need to reaffirm the Scooby gangs solidarity before they faced everything ahead of them.
Anya was already waiting for them inside. She shot Xander a dirty look for giving Willow her clothes, but before she could say anything, the air started to glow and coalesce in the middle of the store.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy murmured 'ready or not, here they come.'
TBC
I had to make a slight amendment to the very end of the last chapter, which needs to be read for this to make sense. It was one of those really obvious things which didn't occur to me til just after I had posted that chapter.
Read and enjoy, and please, please, please review if you get a minute.
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She lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Thoughts chased erratically through her head; what had been what was to come, what to have for breakfast. The Slayer resisted the urge to pull a pillow over her face and head on back to heaven. Bad Buffy! Not supposed to think like that anymore she scolded herself mentally. That thought made her sit up with a jolt. I didn't mean it! I thought it in the same way Mom used to say "Let's head for Vegas!" A nice idea in theory, but never gonna happen. Wow. Guess I really am back in the world of the living.
I still don't want to get up and face today.
She dragged herself out of bed and into the shower, letting the powerful jets of water pummel her into wakefulness. Her mind focused and settled, running over the events of the past few days and nights. Willow. Willow was a killer now, and no matter what she did, not matter how much good she had done in the past or in the future, that knowledge would always be with her. Buffy knew what that felt like. True, the only human she had actually killed was that order of Teraka guy, whilst she was fighting for her life, and he had been more monster than man anyway. but she had thought she had killed before, other than in a kill or die situation. Sorry fella. You sign up with the order of Teraka, I ain't gonna feel guilty about you. First with Ted and just recently with Katrina though. she would always remember the feeling, that greasy ball of guilt in your stomach. It flavoured everything you ate, you saw, you thought. Willow was going to have to live with that for the rest of her life.
Too difficult. Moving on. Dawn. Jesus. Dawn's a Slayer now. How come none of us saw that one coming?
After Cordelia left them all in the Magick Box the day before, they had separated. Willow had gone home with Xander, she wasn't ready to be in the room Tara had died. She didn't know if she ever would be. Buffy and Dawn took Giles home, Willow staying with Xander at least meant he could have a bed this time rather than the sofa. Anya disappeared back to where ever she had been staying since she had turned back into a vengeance demon.
Once they got home, a journey made in silence because all three of them were mentally exhausted, and not too far behind physically, Buffy, Dawn and Giles crawled into there respective beds without managing to shower or even take their clothes off. Buffy wasn't at all surprised to wake up four hours later, completely refreshed. Four hours sleep for a Slayer was like sleeping round the clock for most people. She was rather surprised however, to find Dawns legs and lower body in the kitchen. Her head and upper body were lost somewhere in the depths of the fridge. 'Couldn't sleep huh?'
'Geez Buffy! Don't sneak up on me like that.'
'Sorry.' She grinned at her sister, unrepentant. 'So.How ya' feeling? Break anything yet?'
'What do you mean? I don't often break things do I?'
'When I first got my super strength, I was always breaking crockery and stuff cause I couldn't put things down gently enough.' She explained.
'Oh, that.well, the kitchen wear is fine, but I've been having a little problem with doors.'
'Don't sweat it Dawnie. That's why Xander is a carpenter. Seriously, how are you feeling?'
'I feel great. Honestly' she added at Buffy's sceptical look. 'When we got back from the Magick shop, I thought I was gonna sleep for a week, but now I feel wide awake. I'm really revved Buffy, its crazy.'
'Welcome to the life of a Slayer. Only needing three hours sleep a night is one of the few perks.' She hugged her sister, hard, harder than she ever had before. For a second Dawn gasped, her breath squeezed out of her, then she started to hug her sister back, as hard as she could.
Eventually, they stepped back, but kept their hands linked, a solid bond between them 'What now?' Dawn finally asked.
'A question with so many levels' Buffy muttered ruefully. 'Right now, we eat. After an all-nighter, once I've grabbed a few hours sleep, all I wanna do is eat, you know, stock up on carbs. and stuff so.pizza?'
'Yay. Eating as much pizza as you want and not worrying about burning it off is another plus point of being a Slayer ya'know.' She took a breath, staring hard at the wall behind Buffy's head, as if she was hoping a script for what she knew was going to be a difficult conversation would suddenly appear on it. 'So.after food, what now? With me, with Willow.Cordelia said she was going to bring Angel back, and Spike's gone and.' With each new topic to worry about, Dawns' speech got faster and more high pitched until she had to stop because she couldn't go any faster or higher.
'I don't know Dawnie. Hence the food. Food's for thought, right? Something like that anyway.' She sighed, dragged a hand through her hair. Gotta face it sooner or later... 'Okay, well. with you, at least I kind of know what I'm doing now. We train, we research, if you look like you're going nuts we don't let anyone try and take you to England.' She offered a feeble grin 'seriously, I'm not really worried about you. After the way you handled yourself today.yesterday.last night.whenever that was. anyway, yeah, well, I mean, it's tough, and believe me, Giles doesn't go easy with the training and everything, but I figure you know what to expect, and I'm here to help you and stuff. To be honest Dawnie, you really are the least of my worries.' She trailed of, lost in thought again. She just couldn't get passed what Willow had done, what she had become. Carpei Diem. Never again. The memories rushed in on her of the sweet, shy girl who said that to her, as they sat on the benches outside their high school. Even then, they had seen too much. They thought they knew it all back then, they thought they had seen things as bad as they could get. Guess you just never know.
'Buffy?' a hand waved in front of her face. 'Hey, Buffy, where'd you go?' She started, leant back. 'Sorry, just thinking about.about Willow. Geez Dawn. As close as I am to having a clue with you, with her I'm that close to not having one.' She started to pace the kitchen. 'How do I help her, how do I even begin to understand what she's feeling? She killed, in rage, with magick. That's going to be with her every moment for the rest of her life. How can I help her decide how to act in the future, how to use her magick properly? Besides the fact that I don't understand magick, I'm hardly the poster child for grace under pressure. She hasn't even dealt with the fact that Tara's gone. What do I do when she has to face that? When Angel left me, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I remember I told Willow, I was just trying to keep from dieing. On top of everything else, how do I help her with that!?' She stared at her sister, desperate for inspiration, then looked down and their joined hands. 'And then we have Angel, and that's a whole other kettle of I don't even want to think about it.'
Dawn eyed her sister speculatively. 'You know, you've never really talked to me about Angel. Even when you were together - '
'Dawn, look - '
'No, Buffy, it's okay. I'm not criticising you, I mean, I wasn't really here when the two of you were together, and none of us understood your relationship, so I doubt a bunch of monks could of, and explained it to me. All I'm saying is, maybe it would help you to talk about it now. I know you're not huge on the sharing, but if that whole thing with Sweets taught us anything, it's that we have to talk to each other.' She grabbed a half eaten, cold pizza out of the fridge, and then led her sister through to the sitting room, where they both sat down on the sofa. She left the box, unopened, on the table in front of them, and then faced her sister.
'Buffy, I'm not going to tell you I understand your relationships, I can only give you my take on it all, and I have a feeling I missed a whole bunch, but talk to me, please. You don't have to protect me anymore. You can't protect me anymore.'
Buffy stared at her sister, confusion, anguish, anger, all swirling through her mind. 'Oh Dawnie, the reason I don't talk about it is because most of the time I don't have a clue what I'm doing!' She sat back on the sofa, running a hand over her hair. 'My whole life - '
'Whoa Buffy, let's take this one issue at a time. Angel, well the men in your life. Let's start with them.'
She nodded at her little sister, and then looked away, picking up a cushion from the seat next to her and started worrying the corner of it. 'Okay, well.God. You don't pick the easy ones, do you? The men in my life. Since I got back, you know. well anyway, I've done a lot of thinking. At first, I didn't want to remember what it was like, in heaven, but later, I started thinking about it more. You know stuff when you're up there, about others and intentions and stuff. I don't remember much of it, but I'm working on getting it back. Angel is the love of my life. I tried to convince myself he wasn't, that he was my first love, and he would always be special, but there would be someone else someday who could make me feel the way he did, but I was fooling myself. For a while, I got so hung up on normal that I couldn't see normal was making me, and a good man, miserable. He really was y'know, good I mean. Reilly might have been dull, and pompous, and kinda gullible, but he has a good heart. I'm glad he was able to find someone to love him the way I couldn't.' She stared at the cushion in her hands, realising that she was in danger of pulling it to bits, and leaving stuffing all over the floor. Deliberately, she put it aside and looked over at her sister.
'I think I knew that, I mean, even Xander knew that what you felt for Reilly just didn't compare to what you had with Angel.' She smiled guiltily, 'I remember telling Reilly once that he was so much better for you than Angel, that with him you were always pretty level, but with Angel you could never tell if you were going to be crying your eyes out or over the moon. I really did mean it as a compliment.'
They shared a moment of understanding. 'I understand wanting to be normal, believe me I do.' Dawn took a breath before continuing so many ways that this could come out wrong. 'And I think I get all the stuff with Reilly, but.'
'But what happened with Spike?' Buffy finished for her. Dawn nodded, relieved her sister had understood what she wanted to ask, but having no clue what the answer might be. 'I know he didn't have a soul, but he loved you Buffy, he really did. Xander said he. tried to attack you, but he loved you, and he made you smile when none of us could.' She ran out of words.
Buffy picked up the cushion again, realised what she was doing and put it back. Then she smoothed down her hair, twitched the comforter back into place on the back of the sofa and searched for lint on her top before she could bring herself to answer her sisters' question. 'Spike.Dawn, Spike was like a drug for me. When I first got back, everything was so hard. I couldn't feel anything, no happiness, no sadness, pain, excitement, nothing. Everything was just.grey. Except with Spike. He made me feel. At first it was because he wasn't involved in bringing me back. I hadn't even realised it myself, but I was punishing everyone, for bringing me back, by pulling away. Spike wasn't part of that. He didn't keep asking if I was okay, I didn't have to put on an act for him. I could just be. And by just being, I started to feel, a little. I was physically attracted to him, and he understood me, in a way Reilly never could have.' She gave a half laugh. 'The first time we had sex, we knocked the building down. That's what it was like between us. No tenderness, we weren't making love, we were making war. And he made me feel. He made me feel disgust, he made me hate myself, because in the end the only thing making him any different from those things I kill every night, was that chip in his head. He wouldn't have loved me without it, he wouldn't have saved you without it. I know he loved me Dawn, But he's still a monster. I guess I'd turned him into some kind of harmless pet in my head. Every time I was with him, I hated myself a little bit more, but even hating myself was better than feeling nothing, so I kept going back. I couldn't stop myself from going back. It wasn't until Reilly found us together, and showed me what Spike was doing, dealing in demon eggs on the black market, that I realised he's not some harmless puppy. He's still a creature of evil Dawnie, even though he loves me, and he'd die for you, he's evil. I realised that being with him was insulating me from facing life, and dealing with my problems. I had to end.whatever it was between us, because in the end it would have destroyed us both.' She fell silent, unsure of what to say next.
The silence stretched between them, until eventually Dawn broke it. 'So, back to Angel.'
'Back to Angel. I just don't know Dawnie. I know he's changed a lot since he moved away, we both have. I haven't spoken to him in months, not since just after I got back, and I think we were both kind of in shock then. I know I love him, but communicating was never our strong point. Even if we do manage to talk it out, if he does still love me, the curse is still there Dawnie! We couldn't get round it last time, why should things be any different just because a few years have passed!' Her voice was close to a sob as she finished. She turned away from Dawn, covering her face with her hands and taking deep breaths so try and clam herself.
She felt Dawns' hand on her shoulder, but couldn't bring herself to look up. 'Things have changed since he left Buffy. I think somewhere between Willow being the most powerful Wicca on earth, and Cordelia being a Higher Being, they'll be able to fix the curse. All you have to concentrate on is working out what you're going to say to him when he arrives. And be honest with him!!!'
Buffy raised her head, offered Dawn a watery smile. 'Couldn't we find another apocalypse instead? I know what to do with them.'
Dawn grinned at her sister, then pulled her in for another bone crunching hug. 'Let's eat this pizza, then we can figure out what to do until everyone else wakes up. Since Cordelia cleaned up the Magick Box, it looks like we've got a free day to ourselves.'
This time Buffy grinned, a dastardly deed forming in her mind. 'Oh I know what we can do. Seeing as the shop is already cleaned up, we can get a start on your training. How do you fancy some light sparing, with Slayer strength that is?'
Dawn gulped. 'This is gonna hurt, isn't it?'
'Probably.' Buffy singsonged, 'but don't worry, you'll heal really quickly.'
Together, the two sisters ate the rest of the cold pizza, then cleaned up, grabbed some work out clothes, and headed out.
At seven that evening, Giles stirred in his bed. He didn't think he had ever been as exhausted as he had been when he had fallen into bed that morning, but know he was awake, and quite peckish. Between jet lag, getting the crap kicked out of him by Willow and being healed by Cordelia, his body clock was completely knackered. Deciding that there was no point in staying in bad any longer, as he wasn't sleepy and he wasn't injured, he rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After a shower, a shave and a change of clothes, he felt remarkably good, especially considering how close to death he had been. He wondered downstairs, intent on finding himself something to eat. He'd stashed a jar of Marmite on top of one of the kitchen cupboards last time he stayed here, well out of Buffy's and Dawn's reach. The likelihood of either of them dusting up there was slim to none, so he was looking forwards to a nice cup of tea and some Marmite on toast. After that, he would have to put his brain in gear and start pondering the ramifications of the last few days. Marmite first. I always think better after I've had something to eat and a nice cup of tea.
As he puttered about the kitchen, fixing his snack and clearing up the odds and ends that had been left lying about, he enjoyed the silence, wondering what Buffy was up to. Knowing how little sleep she needed, he thought she must have been up for hours. Dawn too, I suppose. I never gave any thought to the possibility of her being a Slayer too. I suppose it partially stems from the monks doing there work so well. When we didn't know what she was, there was no way she could have been called, siblings never are. After we found out, well, there was just so much going on. Should have seen that one coming old man. He heard the front door opening, and the noise of Buffy and Dawns' chatter spilled into the house ahead of them. Carrying his plate in one hand and cup of tea in the other, he went to meet them.
'Hello. Where have you two been?' Dawn staggered passed him and flung herself onto the sofa.
'I quit. I don't mind the slaying bit, but I quit training with Buffy.' She gave Giles a puppy dog look. 'Can't you train me Giles, please? Because if I have many more sessions like that, I'm going to be the shortest lived Slayer ever! Dead from exhaustion!'
Giles grinned at Dawns' antics. The younger Summers seemed to be taking the news of her Slayerness very well. With Buffy's' example to follow, she would be fine. 'Much as I'd love to train you Dawn, I don't think it would be the wisest course of action. You have an opportunity no other Slayer has ever had, to be trained by someone who has actually lived the life, not just read about it in books. Besides,' his grin turned mischievous, 'I really don't think I could survive the early days of Slayer training again. Some of my worst nightmares revolve around the first time I gave Buffy a quarter staff!'
'Hey! Oh. I can't really argue with you on that one, can I?' Buffy's expression went from indignant to fakely contrite. When she thought back of all the times she had accidentally, and accidentally, punched, kicked, flipped, dropped and generally beaten Giles up, particularly in the early years, it was actually quite surprising he wasn't running for the hills at the thought of a new Slayer to train.
'I think I'll take a more executive role this time.' He smirked at the girls. 'I'll do the theory, the research etc. I might even see if I can dig out Buffy's' copy of the handbook. It's not like she ever used it! Anyway, I'll come up with a training schedule, and Buffy can be the one you practise beating up. She heals quicker than I do anyway.'
'Gee thanks Giles' Buffy growled at him playfully. 'Just what I needed, another complication in my life.'
At the mention of the word complication they all sobered. 'Sooo' said Dawn 'are we any closer to having a plan yet?' She looked to Giles and Buffy, waiting expectantly. For her whole life, whenever it came to the crunch, these two came up with a plan. She didn't see why it should be any different now.
Giles and Buffy shared a look. They knew Dawn was expecting then to come up with an answer. She didn't realise it yet, but pretty soon Dawn was going to have to start coming up with plans too. Taking the lead, Giles moved the conversation out of the hall and into the living room. 'Dawn, until we know what we're facing, there is no way we can start to plan.anything about it, whatever it is.' He took a breath. 'One thing we do need to plan though, and as soon as possible, is Tara's funeral.' If he had looked up, he would have seen Buffy and Dawn's heads both bowed, they're eyes shining with tears. As it was, he was too busy trying to blink back his own tears whilst staring at the table to notice. 'We have to notify her family, although I doubt they'll want anything to do with it. She told me that since she refused to go back with them last year, every attempt she's made at contacting them has gone unanswered. I also think that we should ask Willow what kind of ceremony we should give her.' He took off his glasses to wipe his eyes, then continued to fiddle with the frame instead of replacing them. 'I know that Wicca has its own rules on how to deal with its dead, although I don't know much about the actual rites.'
Dawn sniffed and wiped her own tears with her right hand, her left gripping Buffy's tightly. 'Willow's going to be okay though, right? I mean.' she looked searchingly, beseechingly at Buffy and Giles. 'I mean, I know it's gonna be super hard for her, and she's going to have to fight like crazy, but we're all going to help her and support her, and eventually she's going to get back to being like she used to be, right?'
Giles took Dawns other hand in both of his, offering what comfort he could. 'Dawn, sometimes, no matter how hard you want things to, no matter how much you wish, things can never go back to the way they were. Even when they look the same way they used too, under the surface, its different now.'
'But - '
'Dawnie,' Buffy squeezed her other hand. 'No matter how much you want to, you can never go back. No matter how hard we wish, we can't turn back time, erase a day.' Buffy felt a twinge in the back of her mind, a ghost of déjà vu. She realised it was one of the forgotten memories of when she had been.not here.but she pushed it away. Don't have time to deal with that right now. She focused her attention on her sister. 'Willow's going to need all of us, just to get through the next few days, the funeral and contacting Taras' family. After that, she's going to have to start dealing with what she did, and what she's become.' Seeing the look on Dawn's face, Buffy hurried to explain. 'A magickal being and a warrior for the light. She has to start on her redemption. At least we've got an expert on that coming to visit.' Letting go of her sisters' hand after one final squeeze, Buffy scrubbed both her hands over her face, then up and into her hair. She didn't want to sit still any more. 'Come on Dawnie.' She jumped to her feet. 'Enough of this.' she waved a hand around the sitting room. 'How 'bout you and me get ready and go looking for trouble?' seeing the excitement on her sisters' face, she felt a need to add, 'and by that I do mean patrolling.'
Dawn leapt up to, grinning. 'Yay! Just let me go change and then we can go! You and me! Patrolling! Together! And you actually asked me to come! This is so cool!' With another excited yip she powered out of the room and up the stairs, leaving Giles and Buffy staring in her wake.
Giles sniffed resignedly. 'The novelty will wear off soon I'm sure.'
Buffy nodded ruefully. 'Oh yeah. Get tossed on a few grave stones, kicked in the head and your brand new outfit ruined all in one night, and the novelty is long gone!' She smiled at her watcher. Physically she was fine, but emotionally she was still tired. 'Giles - '
'There's nothing you can do tonight. Take Dawn out, although I suspect that most of the demons and vampires are still hiding after last night. It should be an easy first patrol for her.' He hugged her close, a comforting, paternal gesture. 'Tomorrow will come soon enough. We'll meet at the Magick Box in the morning, and maybe Cordelia will have some news on whatever it is that's coming.' He kissed her forehead. 'Go and enjoy some time with your sister.' He guided her over to the weapons chest, so that she could choose suitable accessories for the night ahead, and then bade them both good night. 'And come in quietly! Most people need more sleep than you two!' he called as he closed the door.
Wondering up to the room he was staying in, at least for the next few nights, he put the Rolling Stones on the CD player, grabbed a glass from the bathroom, and reached in his bag for his duty free. On the flight over, he'd been worried sick about what he would find on his arrival, and hadn't touched it. Now, a glass or three of Isle of Jura, his favourite single malt, seemed to be just what the doctor ordered. Lying back on the bed, he allowed the music to wash over him, emptying his mind of everything. Plenty of time to worry when there's actually something I can do about it. He took another sip of his whiskey, and shut his eyes.
Across town, Xander stared into his darkened bedroom, looking for any signs of wakefulness from the hump buried under the covers. She hadn't spoken a word on the trip back to his apartment. Once they'd arrived, she just sat in the car, showing no signs of getting out of it. Eventually he had gone around and opened her door, startling her as he put his hand on his arm. He could see the pain, the grief, the fear, all trying to hide under the blankness in her eyes. Saying nothing, he'd carried her up to the apartment and then sat with her on his knee, rocking her through her sobs and into silence. Eventually, she had gotten off his lap, which was by then completely numb, and gave him a tearful smile of gratitude. It was the same smile she had given him in kindergarten when he had told Cordelia to leave her alone and stop teasing her, accept the sadness behind the smile was depthless now, unfathomable to him.
'I'm gonna try and get some sleep, okay?' She drifted towards the couch.
'Will, wait.' She stopped, looked back. 'You need to eat something first.' When she looked like she was going to refuse, he gave her his most pathetic puppy dog look. 'Please Will? Just for me? I'll let you have the bedroom and everything.'
She sighed. 'Sure.'
She ate what he had put in front of her, although Xander suspected if he'd put the waxed fruit bowl in front of her she'd have eaten it and not commented. She even washed up, and then she had kissed his cheek, and gone to bed. Xander grabbed a blanket and took the couch. Having slept for eight hours he had woken himself up by falling off the couch, and realised he'd better check on Willow. Apart from the slight movement of her body which showed she was still breathing, she slept like the dead. At least she's not having nightmares. Although he knew from experience, eventually they would come. Not now though.
Moving into his kitchen, he threw together a snack and considered phoning Buffy. Nah. We'll see her tomorrow, and I don't want to wake Dawn or Giles.that should probably be just Giles. He sighed. Little Dawnie's a Slayer. At least she's got a good role model. Hope she doesn't remember too many of Faiths' tricks. His mind wondered to some of Faiths' tricks, ones only he had seen. Bad Xander! You'd think with my track record I'd have learned to steer clear of women by now!
He considered his options for the evening. It wasn't that late, he could head over to the bronze, but he didn't want to leave Willow alone. He could run over to the video store.or just watch T.V.Or he could to back to sleep. Dead boy, Wesley and Cordelia were all coming in tomorrow. He wanted to be rested. It was going to be an interesting day.
The next morning, Buffy was racing round the house, trying to decide what to wear. A phone call to Xander had decided they would meet at the Magick Box at 10.00am. Figuring that Cordelia probably knew where and when to find them, this meant that in just over an hour she was going to see Angel again. She was going to have to come up with some options for Willow. She was going to have to deal with another apocalypse prophesy. The last one was by far the least of her worries. And top of the list right now is that I've already been up for two hours and I still haven't got any idea what to wear! Mindlessly rifling through her wardrobe, she though about last nights patrol. It had gone well. They'd only found two vamps, and Dawn had staked both of them, although Buffy had been holding one of them down at the time. Still, for the most part Buffy had stayed in the background, and Dawn had acquitted herself nobly. Now there's a Giles phrase for you. With some desperation she dragged on a pair of jeans, and then just as quickly dragged them off. Don't want to look too casual! She raced into Dawns room. 'Have you seen my black fitted shirt?'
Dawn stared at her. 'The one we buried you in?'
'Oh. Forgot. Never mind.' She ran out again.
Dawn climbed off her bed and wondered into her sisters' room. She'd been up for hours too, but in that time had managed to get showered and dressed, eat breakfast and fill almost fifteen pages of her diary with recent events. As far as she could tell Buffy had managed a thirty second phone call to Xander and to change her clothes about a hundred times. Most of her wardrobe now seemed to be on her bedroom floor. Buffy stood in the middle of the chaos in her underwear and jewellery. That was the only thing she hadn't changed once. The cross that Angel had given her when they first met, and on the chain with it, her claddagh ring. Dawn wasn't sure what the story was with the ring, Buffy had never told her, but she figured it was a big deal. On more than one occasion, especially in the days of Angelus, Dawn had seen her crying over it.
Carefully making her way around the mounds of clothes on the floor, Dawn picked up a new, crinkle cut, burgundy, button down shirt, and some grey pants. 'Here. These look good on you.' Buffy smiled gratefully. The decision had been made. At that point Buffy felt she was incapable of telling whether she was looking great or should put a bag over her head.
'Thanks Dawnie.'
'You're welcome. Now let's get some breakfast, and don't tell me you're not hungry you lady, or there'll be no cookies for you later!' Dawn spoke mock sternly to her sister, wagging her finger as she spoke. Buffy laughed and followed her sister downstairs.
In the kitchen they found Giles, just finishing his second cup of tea and his marmite on toast. 'Morning.' He greeted both girls, and then went back to his newspaper. 'I know we've all seen it before, but the people of this town really do amaze me. Look at this.' He gestured with his toast at the article he was reading. 'Talks about surface earthquakes with no detectable epicentre. They've even got alleged "experts" talking about "a new seismic geological phenomenon." I think these people carry shovels with them everywhere they go so they can bury they're heads in the sand more efficiently!' He crunched his toast disgustedly before continuing 'and the police are a minor miracle. "The building just seemed to fall down. No explanation could be give." Bloody hell.' He crunched his toast again, and then mumbled something about blind, arrogant and wilfully ignorant. Then he stopped talking because Buffy and Dawn were sending him dirty looks for spraying toast crumbs everywhere.
Grabbing juice and cereal each, the girls joined Giles at the breakfast bar, where the three of them ate in silence, contemplating the day ahead. Eventually, Dawn broke the silence. 'So, what do you think's gonna happen today? Do you think Cordelia's gonna like, take us all somewhere new to fight this big bad? Or maybe she'll bring it to us. Maybe it's someone Angel is fighting in L.A and he needs help with it. Or maybe - '
'Dawn! We don't know.' She smiled to soften the hard edge of her tone, and hoped Dawn wouldn't get in a snit about it. She really didn't feel like handling Dawn having a tantrum right now.
Surprisingly, Dawn smiled apologetically. 'Sorry. I guess I'm just kind of nervous, but also excited, y'know, and then I feel bad, cos of Willow, but then - '
'Dawn.' This time it was Giles who interrupted her. 'We understand. We're all a bit keyed up at the moment. Why don't you two finish getting ready, and we can head to the magick shop a little early.'
Nodding her agreement, Dawn got to her feet, then, seeing the look on Buffy's face, she shot out her hand and grabbed Buffy's' arm. 'No. You are not changing your clothes again!' When Buffy looked like she was about to argue, Dawn put on her strict mum voice again. 'I want you to go upstairs, brush your teeth and finish your make up and be back down here in fifteen minutes young lady.' She resumed her own voice. 'You start messing with your outfit again, we won't be ready to leave this time tomorrow!'
In Xanders apartment, Willow was stuck with a similar dilemma, except it wasn't her own clothes she had to choose from, it was Anyas. 'It's not that I'm not really glad I've got something to wear, especially after I burned what I was wearing before, but come on Xander, most of this stuff, it just.it isn't me, y'know.' She held up a particularly small tank top, and winced.
Xander smiled reassuringly. He actually thought that, after everything that had happened, what she wore really didn't matter, but he had been around women long enough to know that a man should never voice an opinion on the matter of what a woman was, could or might wear. 'Never fear Will, I have an idea. Why don't you see if you can find some pants or jeans in there that fit you, and you can wear one of my shirts over it?'
She smiled gratefully. 'I know it doesn't really matter, but obsessing over this stops me worrying about all the things I've done, and what's gonna happen.'
'I know Will.' He hugged her to his chest. 'No matter what, you're my best friend. You'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you.' He held her by the shoulders so he could look in her eyes. 'Now come on. Get some clothes on cause we are moving out!'
As it turned out, Buffy took a few minutes more to finish getting ready than expected, so the two groups arrived at the magick shop at the same time. Seeing the apprehension on Willow's face, Dawn and Buffy both shot out of the car and over to her with Slayer speed. Grabbing their friend between them, they hugged her. Unfortunately, Dawn hadn't quite got the hang of her Slayer strength, and Willow started to choke, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. Giles came over and gently squeezed her shoulder, before herding them all inside. They all felt a need to reaffirm the Scooby gangs solidarity before they faced everything ahead of them.
Anya was already waiting for them inside. She shot Xander a dirty look for giving Willow her clothes, but before she could say anything, the air started to glow and coalesce in the middle of the store.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy murmured 'ready or not, here they come.'
TBC
