STUPID CUPID

Okay, chap 2.  Well, I hope y'all enjoy it…

CHAPTER TWO: OF RUMORS AND QUIDDICH ACCIDENTS

            The sun rose the next morning to find Angelina staging phase one of her plot with Alicia and Katie at her side.

            They waited like hawks at the foot of the boys' staircase for a certain Weasley to come down.

            Angelina was wringing her hands and praying this would work.  Even though it was her idea, Kate and Alicia seemed much more confident in it.  She wondered if Fred ever questioned whether his jokes would work.

"Good morning, ladies," Fred said jovially as he rode the railing down the stairs.  "What's going on?"

            "Nothing," Alicia said.  "See you in Potions, Fred."

            Fred frowned, but he didn't say anything.  He cast a last glance at Angelina, shrugged, and headed out the portrait hole.

            "Phew."

            "At least he came down first," Katie whispered.

            "Tell me about it," Angelina added.  Then she spotted George climbing down the stairs carefully, eyelids drooping.

            "George," Angelina hissed.  "Get down here."

            "What?  Whatsamatter?"  he muttered.  The girls dragged him the rest of the way down and pulled him over to a corner.  They threw him down on a plush armchair and stood over him, arms folded.

            "Hey, what is this?  What did I do?"  he asked defensively.

            "Nothing," Alicia said soothingly.  "We just need your help."

            "Is it something Fred did?  Did he dye all your underwear pink again or something?"

            "No, it isn't anything like that.  As a matter of fact, it's something he didn't do," Katie said, looking pointedly at Angelina.

            "Yes, well…"

            Understanding dawned.  "Is this about you and Fred and the Yule Ball?" George asked, a grin spreading on his lips.

            Angelina promised herself she would not blush.  This was serious, and she was sure George would cooperate.  "Yes."

            "Look, I know he likes you.  I think he's…I dunno.  I guess he's a little scared of you."

            "Fred?  Scared of me?" Angelina was incredulous.

            "Regardless," Katie waved the issue away, "We want your help with this, George."

            "What am I supposed to do?  Hey, I told the bloke to ask you out, Angelina.  It's out of my hands."

            "Not quite."  Angelina was resolved.  Her plan would work.  It just had to.  "Look George, I have a favor to ask.  I want…I want to spread some rumors."

            George looked confused.

            "About us.  I want…I want people to think we're dating.  And I want you to pretend to go out with me.  Then Fred will—"

            "Get jealous."  George's prankster eyes sparkled.  "Top notch plan, Angelina.  Did you come up with that?"

            "I did," she said proudly.  "So…you'll help me?"

            "Of course."  He stood and wrapped his arms around her, then stepped back.  "Look, I just want to get one thing clear.  This is just a prank, a joke.  You really like Fred?"

            "Yeah.  Don't flatter yourself too much, bub."  Angelina smiled and hugged him.

            "Perfect.  This is perfect," Katie said.  "Now, who do we tell so that this little rumor will spread like wildfire?"

            Alicia's eyes shown.  "Let's start with Parvati Patil.  That girl can talk a person's ear off.  She'll spread it around like nobody's business."

            "Exactly.  Because we want it to be everybody's business.  Hopefully it will get back to Fred by the end of the day.  Quiddich will be great fun tonight," Angelina said mischievously.

            Lee Jordan had big news.  He'd just heard it from a very reliable source, and he was nearly bursting to tell Fred that his dear brother had the hots for Angelina Johnson.

            He knew the twins would be at Quiddich practice, because they were the co-captains.  He sometimes dropped in to watch and practice announcing, so his presence wouldn't be unusual.  But he wanted to let Fred know before they got on brooms, because he had a feeling it would be all the more entertaining.

            As a friend, he was slightly concerned for George, because he knew Fred would beat the tar out of him when he found out.  But as a fellow future delinquent, he thought it would be a hoot to watch unfold.  Like a soap opera, only better.

            He couldn't even wait long enough for the team to get up onto the pitch.  He descended the stairs to the locker rooms and flooded in with a joke.

            "Hey guys, did you hear about the wizard that walked into the market and bought a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, and a frozen dinner for one?"

            "No," Alicia said.  She'd let him through the door and to where the team was lacing up their shoes.

            "Well, he went to pay for his things and the witch at the checkout said, 'You're single, aren't you?'  The man said, 'How did you guess?'  And she replied, 'Because you're ugly.' "

            They erupted in laughter.  "That's awful, Lee," Alicia gasped through her laughter.

            "Good one, mate."  Fred grinned.

            "Wait, I have another one.  If a woman is in the forest, talking to herself, with no man around, is she still complaining?"

            "Oooh, slightly risky telling that one," Ron said.  He had taken over as Keeper for Gryffindor just this year.  "With so many girls around."

            "Naw, don't worry about it Ron.  We can take care of ourselves.  What do you call a man who's lost seventy-five percent of his brain?" Katie asked.

            "What?" Lee asked.

            "Divorced."

            The team laughed again, sound echoing off of the lockers.

            "Wait, I have a good one," Angelina said.  "Why are women's brains cheaper than men's brains?  Because women's are used."

            "Touché.  Fred, can I talk to you a second?"  Lee motioned for Fred to come up to the pitch with him.  The rest stayed behind.

            The air held the distinct scent of early autumn.  The day had been warm, but now the evening breeze was bringing the temperature down and Fred chose to button his cloak.  "What's up, Lee?"

            "You don't know?" Lee thought it would be more fun for him to drag it out.  Make his best mate sweat a little.

            "Not an idea.  Unless it has something to do with that curse we put on Snape's quill this morning?  Did he get ink splattered all over him?  I would have paid twenty—no, thirty—galleons to see his face."

            "Nope, nothing like that." Lee raised an eyebrow and allowed himself a small smile.

            "Then what?"

            "Guess."

            "Gimme a break, Lee.  Spit it out."

            "I don't know if you want to hear this." Lee put his hands in his pockets and feigned guilt.

            "What's wrong?  What happened?" What the hell was Lee playing at here?  What could be so important and secretive that he wanted to talk to him alone, without George?

            "Well, I don't know how much has actually happened at this point.  I only got wind of it today.  Thought you ought to be the first to know."

            When Fred remained silent, Lee took it as a sign that he was curious.  "I heard something about George."

            "What about him?  From who?"  Instantly Fred's temper flared.  Was someone spreading rumors about his brother?

            "I also heard a little something about Angelina," Lee added slyly.  He wanted Fred to put this together himself.  He'd simply lay out all the pieces, and Fred could fit the puzzle together.

            "What about Angelina?  What does she have to do with George?"  Fred's tone was hard now, sharp and biting.  Had someone hurt his Angelina? he thought.  Was someone spreading nasty things around about his brother?  And what the hell did Lee know about it?

            "More than I thought," was Lee's greasy response.

            It took Fred a moment to come to his conclusion.  "You mean…George and Angelina…together?  But…I thought…" Fred backed up and ran a hand through his fiery hair.  Lee had expected oaths, curses, anything but what he was seeing.  Fred seemed sincerely hurt, almost crushed.  Lee didn't even see his friend go from boiling to simmer until it was too late.

            The team had climbed up onto the pitch, Angelina and George in the lead.  Holding hands.

            He's in for it now, was all Lee could think.

            Just as Lee suspected, all hell broke loose during practice.  Fred was yelling commands at the team like his life depended on it, and George beat the bludgers with a vengeance.  Angelina did her best to avoid both of them, which made for an interesting game when one of the bludgers decided to chase Angelina.

            The black ball whizzed through the air, circling the girl when she caught the Quaffle from Alicia.  Both Fred and George zoomed over at the same moment, one on her left and the other on the right, clubs raised high over their heads.

            "Don't hit her!" Katie called from the other end of the pitch.  But they didn't hear her.

            Fred's blood pounded in his head; he could barely hear anything else.  What was George playing at?  Hadn't he told him just the other day that it was his move?  What gave him the right to date Angelina?

            All George could think was that Angelina was brilliant.  Her plan was working like a charm.  No pun intended.

            Angelina wasn't as sure of her plan as George was.  At that moment, with one very angry twin at her right, and one amused twin at her left, she felt…cornered.  Surrounded by red headed pranksters.  And it was slightly dangerous when only one was in on the joke.

            The bludger quivered and immediately the two boys swung madly at it.  Angelina dropped the Quaffle and dipped below to get out of the line of fire.  It happened so fast; George took a hit on the shoulder, but that didn't stop his swing, which caught Fred in the hip.  The offending bludger was now twenty feet away, but neither boy cared.

            "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Fred yelled.

            "YOU HIT ME FIRST!" George screamed back.

            What a mess, Angelina thought.  Ron and Harry flew over and managed to get the twins to the ground.

            "I think you guys should go see Madam Pomfrey," Ron said uncertainly.

            "Why?" Fred asked.  Katie poked his hip and he winced in pain.

            "That's why, you big idiot."  Katie turned to see George trying to suppress laughter.  "You too, Mr. You Hit Me First.  Honestly, how old are you two?"  Katie turned to the rest of the team.  "Angelina, you help George up to the hospital wing, and Ron, help Fred.  Harry, Alicia and I will stay here to pick up the balls and things.  Practice is over."

            How did Katie get to be so strong and brave?  Angelina wondered as she helped George up the sloping lawns back to the castle.  Why couldn't she be that resilient?  She decided that was what got her into this mess in the first place.

            But things did seem to be working, even though both boys were injured right at the moment.  Fred kept casting curious glances over at her, and she looked back blandly, her arm around George's waist.  When he looked away, Angelina whispered in George's ear, "I'm sorry I got you into this."

            "Don't worry about it.  I'm enjoying it immensely.  Look at how jealous he is.  Even right now, we're whispering about him, and he thinks I'm blowing sweet nothings in your ear."  They chuckled, and Fred's scowl deepened.

Woohoo, that took a long time to write.  But it was lots of fun.  Katie seems to be emerging as a very strong character.  I didn't do it on purpose, but it seems to work, huh?