Holding On

Part Two

Lost in her own thoughts, it took Kathryn a while to register the fact that she was no longer alone.

'Chakotay.'

Neither a question nor a statement, the word slipped softly from her lips.

He could barely see her, curled up on the floor beside the solitary view port. Starlight danced over her features, lingering over the tear stained tracks that marred her pale complexion. Sitting as she was, with her knees clasped tightly to her chest and her head resting against the view port she seemed a world away from the Captain who'd fearlessly faced down the Kazon.

Instead, he was reminded of that night on New Earth when her dreams had come crashing down around her. His body remembered how she felt, cradled in his arms as the storm raged around them. But this wasn't New Earth…and he no longer had the right to hold her.

'Your missing a great party.'

He kept his voice light as he slowly picked his way over to her. The space was severely limited, forcing him to cram his broad frame into a narrow crevice between the wall and one of the many storage containers hidden in the shadows.

'How did you find me?'

She kept her gaze fixed on the stars that streaked past the portal, her thoughts focused on suppressing the telltale tingling that assailed her limbs whenever her first officer drew near. Lately all she had to do was think about him and the tips of her fingers started to tingle, sending shock waves up her arms and straight into her heart.

'First Officers prerogative.'

He played his cards like a professional gambler, adding just enough smugness into his reply to assure a response yet stopping somewhere short of goading her into pushing him out of the nearest airlock.

'Lets just say a concerned crewmember mentioned coming across you one night when they were carrying out a diagnostic on the environmental controls.'

'Ahh…' Kathryn smiled, 'Thank Ensign Wildman for her concern but I'm fine…I just needed a little time to myself.'

'How did you…?'

'Captain's prerogative.'

'Touché.'

Chakotay sat back, savouring the closeness of the moment and the welcome return of the gentle banter that had blossomed during their time away from Voyager. It had been one of the first casualties of their unexpected return as both officers had struggled to adapt to the changing circumstances. With a heavy heart he'd watched as Kathryn rebuilt her defenses, ruthlessly suppressing her emotions until he'd lost sight of the woman beneath the uniform.

Until tonight…

A dull ache in the small of his back alerted Chakotay to the fact that he was getting a little to old to go crawling around in such confined spaces without suffering the consequences. Unwilling to disturb Kathryn any more than necessary he turned slightly and in doing so dislodged the object he'd brought with him from the party.

Kathryn watched amused as the parcel slipped through his fingers, hitting the ground with a dull thud. Just then the ship lurched slightly, rocking the parcel off-balance and sending it rolling across the decking until it rested at her feet.

'What's this?'

'Your present…you left before I could give it to you.'

Chakotay watched fascinated as her face lit up. If he didn't know better he'd have sworn she was blushing. Her hands hovered over the brightly wrapped gift as if uncertain how to proceed. For a moment he wondered if she'd refuse it, citing some obscure protocol as an excuse for isolating herself from him. But she surprised him. With trembling fingers she slowly pulled back the wrapping paper, careful not to tear the delicate sheets of tissue paper.

Leaning closer he held his breath as she stared in amazement at the gift lying open before her.

'What is it?'

'Some kind of primate, I believe. I couldn't help but notice how fond you were of …'

'You gave me a soft toy…'

She squeezed the soft fur, running her fingers through it as if memorising its texture. For the first time in months a spontaneous smile burst from her lips as she buried her face in the soft belly of the toy. She couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to transfer those actions to her first officer. Her fingers itched to brush away the silver threads at his temple that marked the passage of time as clearly as any calendar.

'Thank you.'

He let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding. For a moment he's sworn she was going to reach out to him then she pulled back, her eyes clouding over as the Captain reasserted herself.

'Is there anything else I can do for you.'

He was rewarded with another smile, this one a little more tentative, but no less precious than the last.

'Hold me?'

The End