AUTHOR'S NOTE: I was watching the Episode II DVD last night. Does anyone else find the expression Mace Windu has after he kills Jango as humorous as I found it? Yeah, it's not cool he killed Jango, but his expression was hilarious. Next time you watch that, pay attention to his face.
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The Fett Family Affair
by Mona Lisa
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Chapter Three
Boba learns the truth about life
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Boba looked at the purple clad woman with interest. So, this was Zam. She walked to and fro about the apartment, her arms crossed and her lips pursed. Boba knew that she was giving herself a tour. What he didn't know was what she was thinking about.
Zam walked to the window in time to see the Slave I blast off of Kamino. A wicked smile played on Zam's lips as she remembered all of the cruel pranks Jango had played on her in times past. This time, Zam would have the last laugh. It was pay back time.
***
Jango sat in the pilot's seat of the Slave I. He cast a quick glance at Iluva, who sat in the co-pilot's chair with her hands and purse in her lap, her lips pressed. She looked thoroughly displeased.
"It's not to late to go back, Mom."
"No."
"I wish you had stayed on Kamino. I don't trust Zam."
"Then why did you leave her there with Boba?"
"Boba needs to be tough. If he can survive living with Zam for a few days, he can survive anything."
"You make it sound as though you've spent many days living with her."
"Just business days, which are nearly unbearable. I can't imagine what actually living with her is like."
***
"What are you doing?" Boba asked at last. Zam had left the window and resumed her tour about the house.
"Boba, do you like white?"
"No. I hate white! Everything on this planet is white! The buildings are white, so is their furniture, their clothing, them, EVERYTHING! It is difficult for me to sneak around here because I am dark and I wear blue. I stick out. Then, sometimes when you think the coast is clear, one of them will suddenly appear from nowhere and tell you off. They can hide because they just blend in with everything else. The only things around here that aren't white beside my Dad and I are the clones because they look just like us. Then they put on armor. White armor. Ugh!"
"Maybe we could liven things up here a little bit."
"Good idea! Let's paint! Can my room be blue?"
"Sure. We'll go get paint after we eat."
***
"...then she almost told them our location! Can you believe that! I kicked her and she shut up, but... I can't believe her sometimes! She almost gave away my-"
"Jango, you have been talking about that girl non-stop for nearly an hour."
"I'm telling you how much of a menace she is."
"Uh huh."
"What does that mean?"
"I think you like her."
"WHAT? Like-I-her and me? I like HER? I hate her!"
"Right. Don't we all say that about people we secretly love?"
"Mom! How could you say such a thing?!"
"It is the truth."
"Are you saying that I hate her so much that I love her?"
"Yes."
"I think you are going crazy."
"I've been crazy for the last twenty years, Jango."
"Have you ever hated someone so much that you loved them?"
"Yes."
"Me?"
"No, not you. Jango, I may not approve of your occupation. I may be hard on you. But I could never, ever, hate you. You are my son, Jango, and that alone is enough to make me love you."
Jango smiled in spite of himself. "So, who was it that you hated yet loved?"
"Your father."
"What?"
"I knew him all my life. We went to school together, and he would constantly tease me. I hated him so much for it. Then I realized that his teasing was was flirting. You know the rest. How I wish he was here now."
A silence fell in the cockpit, leaving both Jango and Iluva to their thoughts.
***
Zam stood at the stove, a pot of boiling water in front of her. It had taken nearly fifteen minutes for her to begin to prepare lunch. While Boba had been locked in the pantry, he had eaten more than half of its contents. It had taken Zam five minutes to gather up what was left and another ten for Boba to decide what he wanted to eat. After deciding he wanted Macaroni and Cheese, he locked himself up in his room.
Zam added the noodles to the water then made a mental note to herself: "Tell Jango that the next time he locks Boba in a pantry, make sure there is no food in there because there isn't going to be much left when Boba comes out."
Letting the noodles cook, Zam decided to check on Boba. He was laying on his bed reading the latest edition of Bounty Weekly. "Good magazine?" She asked, perching herself on the foot of the bed.
"The best." Boba looked up at her with enthusiasm. "My dad has a copy of every issue ever published. Don't you read it?"
"No. I read Bounty Hunter's Digest."
"Oh, Digest is good, but Weekly is better. They have more stuff and better interviews."
"That so?"
"Yeah. Do you want to read it?" He shoved the magazine into her hand as the door bell buzzed. She followed the boy out into the hallway. In the doorway stood a strange being, tall, thin, and pearly white except for almond shaped eyes, in which there were galaxies reflected.
"Boba, is your father home?" The being asked, speaking very slowly.
"Nope, Taun We." He said. "He left this morning."
"Do you know when he will be back?"
Boba shook his head. "Let me ask Zam."
"Zam?"
"My father's girlfr-"
"Business partner." Zam cut in and walked to the door. Taun We only blinked. "He'll be back in a few days." Zam explained, and Taun We nodded, her strange eyes not leaving the woman.
"I'll come back later." She said, then turned and walked, slowly, away.
"Are the Kaminoins always that slow?" Zam asked as she watched Taun We leave.
"Yep." Boba said, as the pair retreated back into the apartment and the door slid shut behind them.
***
The heat was getting to Jango. The two suns of Tatooine glared down upon him, and he felt himself perspiring underneath his Mandalorian armor. Next to him, Iluva walked, shading herself against the harsh glow of the suns with her umbrella. Jango pulled off his helmet and wiped his face on his sleeve.
"Here." Iluva said, offering him her water bottle.
"Thanks." Jango said before drinking half the bottle in one gulp.
Finally they reached Jabba's door. Jango put his helmet back on and knocked.
***
"Zam?" Boba asked as Zam unloaded the paint cans from her speeder. "Zam, I am glad that we decided to paint the apartment, but I don't think my Dad would really want his bedroom to be purple."
"I like purple."
"Dad doesn't."
"He'll have to live with it, then."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Is it going to be your room?"
"While I am staying with you."
"How long will that be?"
"Until your Dad gets back."
"You aren't gonna stay with us longer?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I don't live with you guys."
"Will you?"
Zam raised her eyebrows at the kid. "Do you always ask this many questions?"
"No."
"So why are you doing so now?"
"Aren't you going to marry my Dad?"
Zam was taken aback. "No. What makes you think that?" She handed a few of the paint cans to Boba as they made their way back inside.
"Aren't you his girlfriend?"
"No. Did he- Did he tell you that, Boba?" Zam's eyes flashed with a sudden anger.
"No! I figured it out!"
Zam became suddenly calm. "All right, then. No, Boba, I am not your Dad's girlfriend."
"Oh." Boba sank on to the couch, and Zam could see the disappointment in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting next to him.
"Nothing."
"Boba, listen, I am sorry if I disappointed you, but- tell me, what's the matter?"
Boba looked her in the eyes, but quickly turned away. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. "It was just wishful thinking." He said at last.
"What do you mean?"
"I just want a Mom. Every other kid in the galaxy has one, but I don't. It makes me feel..." He struggled to find the right word. "...abnormal. It makes me feel like a freak." He said at last.
"You're not a freak, Boba." Zam said reassuringly, placing her hand on his shoulder.
"But why don't I have a mom?"
"You were cloned."
"No, I mean, even if she's just like a step mom or something."
"Your father isn't married Boba."
"What does marriage have to do with anything? Is it like, two people fall in love and get married and then suddenly, like magic, there's the baby? Do you have to be married in order to get a clone? My dad wasn't married."
"You think all children are clones of their parents?" Zam asked. Boba nodded, and Zam shook her head.
"What?" Boba asked in suprise at her reaction.
"Boba, I think that maybe you should know the truth. You see, when people fall in love, they do this thing...." Boba sat staring in horror at Zam as he listened to the truth about life and why it exists. His dark face paled, and his brown eyes became wide with fear and disgust.
"That's disgusting!" He said when he could not take anymore.
"Once I knew this guy, who when we-"
"ZAM!" The changeling looked embarrassed.
"Sorry. I forgot I was talking to an eight year old."
"It's disgusting!" Boba said again. "I think I'll go to bed. Not with anyone!" He added quickly. "Just by myself. Sleeping. Asleep. Okay? Okay. But first, I need to throw up in the bathroom."
~~~
Well, I don't think it was my funniest chapter. What do you think?
Please review!
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