Author's note: Chapter 8 of 8

Summary: Things come to an end. Some pasts are left behind, and other's are yet to be faced. Serenity keeps flying, and at the end of the day this is all that matters.

An Epilogue to Choices

"Here we judge you by what you do, not by what your father was. Here you can be something. Here's a place to build a home. It isn't the land- there's always more land. It's the idea that we all have value, you and me, we're worth something more than dirt. I never saw dirt I'd die for, but I'm not asking you to come join us and fight for dirt. What we're all fighting for, in the end, is each other."

"Strange thing. You would die for it without further question, but you had a hard time talking about it. He shook his head. I'll wave no more flags for home. No tears for Mother. Nobody ever died for apple pie." - The Killer Angels

Long Day Over

Deep blue is the herald of dawn over green fields, still swathed in shadow.

Kaylee sits in the co-pilot chair, sullen, "Why did he have to go?"

Wash is staring intently at the Cortex, fingers twitching, Zoe's hand on his shoulder as she gazes thoughtfully out the window.

The headlines scroll across in the livefeed, and the pilot reads:

. . . nothing left of a federal shuttle after having been attacked by unknown persons. Though not apprehended, it is believed that guerilla fighters, learning of the presence of a certain military personage leaked by an unknown source, destroyed the ship while transporting two federal fugitives. No known survivors . . .

Wash looks up, taking her hand in his, "So, they're all dead?"

Footsteps clang up the steps to the bridge, and the three of them turn to see Book approaching.

"So far as the Alliance is concerned," the shepherd clarifies.

"Shiny!" Wash says brightly, then turns his attention back to the Cortex, still searching through the current posts.

Zoe puts her hand on his shoulder, "The warrants weren't there a week ago, they won't be today. Captain and Book did good."

"This is the last chance for fresh air before we leave," Book remarks. "Should take advantage of it."

"Captain should be back shortly," Zoe says by way of response.

Wash makes a face, agreeing, "No offense, Book, but I think I've had enough of land and sky for awhile."

Zoe gripes, "Captain's not left the ship for an entire week, and now that we're fit to leave he decides to go visiting."

"Don't you know that's the only way to see the fam?" Wash exclaims, "Gives you a good reason to scoot out early."

Zoe stares at him in mild reproof, and he gives her a silent 'what?'

"Where'd he go, anyway?" Kaylee asks, still pouting.

Wash smiles, "You probably scared him away with all of your fawning."

Kaylee protests, "I was not fawning! I was . . . happy to see him, is all." She grins foolishly.

Zoe gently whacks the back of Wash's head, looking at Kaylee, "He had one last thing to see to before we can be done with this place."

***

The grass bows gently in the cool breeze, weighed down by dew. Smoke drifts from a nearby cluster of out-buildings, smelling of hickory. The sun hasn't made it's appearance yet on the horizon, but the sky has begun lightening.

A man stands on the crest of the low hill, watching as Mal walks the short distance from the shuttle.

"Chet," the captain greets as he nears, his voice quiet in the hush of morning.

The older man looks a little angry, but he softens as he sees Mal's bruised and battered face, the splint peaking out from Mal's sleeve cuff. "They came looking for you and yours here."

"I know," the younger man says. "I can't apologize enough for that." He rests his good hand in the gun belt.

"Told them I hadn't seen you since before you left for the war." Chet adopts an easy stance, "Which score I don't think I was wrong on."

Mal holds his gaze for a silent moment. "Look Chet, I'm just making sure things are fine on your end here. I didn't mean to bring my troubles on you."

"The past has a funny way of catching up, doesn't it?" The old rancher's voice has a personal bite to it.

"It's problematical like that." Mal sees an elderly woman emerge from the main house and casually steps out of eyesight.

Chet notices his maneuver, "You still angry with me for what I done, Malcolm?"

Mal shakes his head, "You did what you had to, Chet. For Rita and your kids. Had your own to look after. I always understood that. Never saw dirt I'd die for."

"Your mother did. I tried to get her to come--"

"I know," Mal smiles, "She was a stubborn woman. Wouldn'ta left that ranch if God'd told her to."

Chet smiles sadly at Mal, who doesn't meet his eyes.

Finally he stirs himself, "I just came to make sure I didn't leave any unfinished business or debts, but I see that things are fine."

"More trouble already?" Chet asks as Mal's posture indicates his intention to leave.

"Same old," Mal clarifies. "Don't expect I'll be seeing you again, best if I don't. I've got my own to look after now."

Mal turns down the hill, back towards his shuttle.

The wind ruffles his hair, sways the grass. He can smell the smoke, a warm clean smell, sees a herd off in the distance.

Stopping, he turns back to Chet, "It's a good home." He struggles with the words, feeling stupid, "Give Rita my love."

With that he wades down through the grass.

Chet doesn't watch him go, walking away down the other side of the hill.

***

Predawn light, giving way to dawn, filters into the bridge as Mal joins Zoe and Wash.

"Everyone back?" he asks.

"You were the last," Zoe replies, "We're good to go, sir."

Mal takes one last look out the window, slapping his good hand on the pilot's shoulder, "Refuel and take us out of the world, Wash. I'm gonna go drop in on Jayne."

Down the steps and past the crew bunks, he sees Kaylee heading out of the engine room and into the kitchen. Taking long strides, he is about to make a quick getaway down the left corridor when she spies him.

"Cap'n!" She grins broadly, "You're back!"

Mal hides his cringe as he backtracks and steps into the kitchen, returning her smile easily, "Hey, little Kaylee." He puts his hand on the back of the chair, "I've been back for a while now, I hear."

"You missed breakfast!" she scolds. "Just you sit right there and I'll fix you--"

He puts a hand on her shoulder, "Kaylee," he admonishes right back, "I'm fine. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

She looks at her feet, "I know, it's just--"

He kisses her forehead and hears footsteps behind him. Turning he sees Simon through the doorway.

Simon ducks his head and begins to back away, "I was just . . ."

Kaylee peeks around Mal's arm and smiles broadly, saying mock seriously, "Hey Doctor Tam."

But Simon is looking at the captain, who has turned around and fixed him with an unwavering stare. He flicks his eyes to Kaylee as she steps around to Mal's side and loops her arm in his.

Mal gives him a droll smile and greets, "Morning, boss."

Suddenly the room is awkward.

Kaylee glances up at Mal, but his eyes are fixed on Simon, his smile gone. She looks to Simon, who bristles slightly and returns the captain's challenging gaze, an amused smile raising the corners of his mouth.

She steps away, looking from one to the other, and finally reaches up and smacks Mal in the back of the head, "Stop being such a big meanie!"

Mal flinches and grins as she gives him a quick kiss on his fading burn and heads toward the door. Passing Simon, she kisses him quickly as well, breaking his staring contest with the captain and returning his attention to her.

He blushes as Mal smirks at him, and both watch as Kaylee heads toward the bridge.

Mal says, still smiling, full of himself, "It's good to be home, ain't it Doctor Tam?"

Simon tears his eyes away from Kaylee, taking in the formality and backhanded inclusion, "Yes, uh, yes it is. Captain."

Mal smiles tightly, a little sad, changes the subject, "How's Jayne settling in?"

Simon straightens, raises his head, all business, "The transfer went well. He's resting in the infirmary for the time being, should be ready to move to the passenger dorm soon. He's a bit restless."

Mal nods, "And your sister?"

"She's still exhausted, refuses to sleep. She finally passed out in the infirmary when I was checking on Jayne. I didn't want to disturb her."

Mal raises an eyebrow, "She's sleeping in the same room as him?"

Simon looks at him pointedly, "Should I be worried about something?"

The captain walks past him, out into the corridor, shaking his head, "Only if Jayne starts snoring."

Simon smiles to himself and watches Mal head down the steps to the passenger dorms, and turns to join Kaylee on the bridge.

***

Mal slows around the turn in steps as he sees Book coming up. He continues down as Book stops on the landing.

"On your way to see Jayne?" The shepherd inquires.

"Yup," Mal says as he steps around Book.

Mal makes it two steps past the landing when he stops and turns around, a puzzled look on his face "What did you do with the reward?"

Book speaks in an exaggeratedly magnanimous tone, "I used it in only the most benevolent of ways."

Mal gives him a dirty look.

The shepherd smiles, "I paid off some unsavory folk to destroy the reputation of the Angel of Death. With Gabriel Godsey's death, the rest of the money will go to the abbey."

Mal looks disgusted by this, "Please tell me--"

"Who in turn have returned a goodly portion to me." the older man assures him.

Mal grins in relief, then sobers, "You've played your last card, haven't you?"

Book doesn't agree right away, hesitating a moment before he nods, "Now I can safely say that I am just Shepherd Book." He smiles warmly, "It feels nice to be rid of that weight."

Mal stares at him a moment. "There's never just one, though," he says. "Now that I think about it, I seem to recall rumors and legends of an Alliance pirate hunter by that name."

Books smile fades a little.

A thoughtful look crosses Mal's face, "As it went, this man was said to have been a pirate himself once. 'Course Gabriel Godsey wasn't his real name," he smiles lightly, belying the weight of his words. "So they say."

The shepherd's face is grey, words unforthcoming.

"But, it is just talk I heard as a boy." With that, Mal tiredly resumes his path down the stairs.

Book calls after him, "It's not just talk, Captain."

Mal stops and turns, marveling, "Well, you do wear a lot of masks."

Book begins to explain, but the captain cuts him off, "What's past is past, Shepherd. You just tell me if there's any trouble I need to be in the knowing of."

Book smiles in appreciation, and they stand in an shared silence.

"That was a foolish thing you did, Captain," Book finally says. "Angels fear to tread where you went, rushing into Alliance hands, with no backup."

Mal stops and stares at him blandly as he states, "You came."

Book says lightly, "I'm no angel."

"Well," Mal says, a tight smile on his face, his tone serious, "No. You wouldn't have come if you were."

With that he reaches the bottom landing and walks out of sight, leaving Book alone on the stairs, a confused smile on his face.

***

Mal steps quietly into the infirmary where the lights are dimmed, Jayne lying still, his chest rising in slow even breaths.

"You awake?" the captain asks quietly, looking at the sleeping River on the far side.

Jayne grunts, "Trying not to be."

The captain walks over to Jayne's side, not saying anything.

The mercenary furrows his brow and then opens his eyes, "Why'd you go telling everyone it was my birthday?"

Mal chuckles, looking off to the side.

The mercenary rolls his head on the cushion and gets a good look at Mal, "What happened to your face?"

"No concern of yours," Mal says lightly.

"Hell it ain't, Mal," Jayne growls as quietly as possible, "When the doc goes crazy as his sister and starts taking shots, I think it's very well my ruttin' concern!"

Mal doesn't say anything.

Jayne looks hurt as he asks quietly, "Were you even going to tell me?!"

Mal gets a dangerous look, "Situation's been handled," he whispers blackly.

"You're all daft in the brainpan for taking him back with open--" Jayne's voice rises and Mal looks sharply across him toward River. The mercenary shuts up.

"You let it be, Jayne," Mal looks back down, "'Less you want your own dirty laundry aired--"

"He knows," Jayne interrupts. "Simon. He already knows about Ariel."

Mal looks surprised.

Jayne asks, "Did you . . ."

Mal, shakes his head, absorbing this new information, his gaze inward. Then, "Boy's not stupid, maybe he twigged to it himself."

Jayne shakes his head, then looking left, "Think it was her? She figgered it?"

Looking at River, Mal says quietly, after a moment of consideration, "As sure as I'm glad you're still here."

Jayne blinks in confusion, not understanding.

Mal turns to leave, "There is no situation, Jayne. Debts have been paid. If I were you, I wouldn't begrudge another body a chance at second go. No trouble, dong ma?"

He holds the bigger man's eyes until Jayne looks away.

"Yeah," Jayne mutters. "I gotcha."

Mal nods, satisfied, and leaves him to rest in the infirmary.

The merc stares up at the ceiling in confusion, and then turns his gaze to the sleeping girl next to him, only a few feet away.

***

He walks up the steps in the cargo bay and along the catwalk to shuttle one, standing outside the closed door for a moment. The cargo bay is silent, empty. The hatch stares blankly back at him.

He rubs between his eyes.

Raising his hand to knock, he thinks better on it and opens the hatch, stepping inside.

Inara is staring at her client screen as Mal enters. Her back is to him and she takes her time before noting his presence.

Mal asks casually, "Back to work?"

He fidgets, peering over her shoulder as he watches the client thumbnails on the screen disappearing, dwindling down to a only few.

"What there is left of it," she murmurs, "Besides, what's life without it?" She turns off the screen and looks at him.

Mal mocks sympathy, "Yeah, a permanent smear on your record will do that."

She bristles slightly, smiling, "Don't try so hard to be-- "

"They told me you confessed," he interrupts.

She looks at him mildly, "I wouldn't be here if I had, Mal. Did you come here for something in particular?"

He stands a moment longer, trying to contain his restlessness, but can't bring himself to speak.

"I'm a big girl, Mal," Inara says impatiently. "Just tell me."

Mal is quiet, considering this. Inara is disturbed by his continued silence as it stretches, and it looks as if he might leave without another word, his back already to her.

Inara stands just as he thinks better on it and turns around, not looking her in the eye as they almost collide.

He steps back, clearing his throat.

"I can't say that I'm not glad of it," he gestures at the now dark screen.

She looks at him in surprise, and he meets her gaze finally with a directness.

Recovering her composure, her features smoothing over icily, "That isn't it. You've never been discreet about how you felt about what I do."

His blue eyes continue to pierce right through her, "No, but you have."

She stops mid-breath, staring at him in surprise and sudden fear.

"See, that's it," he continues, on a roll now. "That's the thing. You made the choice from the get-go to be here, knowing what Serenity is, what I am."

She stares at him in growing apprehension.

"Yeah, you're a real big girl: you knew the danger this kinda life would have in store. You could have gone anywhere you damn well pleased, and you chose this. Even after . . . after everything, you've chosen to stay. And I can't help but wonder why." Mal reigns in his temper, gesturing again at the blank screen, "A part of me can't help but wonder if you're not a little bit glad your own self."

Inara looks away as Mal pushes on, "I thought from the start that you were running from something. I'm thinking mayhaps you couldn't face it, couldn't deal with it yourself. So you hid behind Serenity, behind me."

Inara's voice cracks as she asks haughtily, "And what is it exactly that you think it is that I am running from?"

Mal is ruthless, riding over her pain,

"Yourself."

Her retort dies on her lips and she holds his gaze for only a moment longer before she looks away, blinking furiously, her hair hiding her face.

"Your life. This--" he indicates the shuttle, decorated for one single purpose. "Tell me I'm wrong. Because I'm tired of taking jobs on the rim just so's you can't find work. It's putting me in the hole. I can't keep making the choice for you. And I can't . . ." Mal's eyes wander over her face, "We'll be making a run that takes us near the Core. End of your lease, I want you off my boat."

Having said what he came to say, his face twists in self-loathing and disgust as he watches her stare openly in shock. He steps forward involuntarily, inches from her, raising a hand before abandoning the gesture, and turns on his heel quickly.

He nearly reaches the door before Inara finds her voice, barely a whisper,

"Just tell me."

Mal stops in his tracks, floored by this statement and its implications.

Unnerved and suddenly scared, he pushes it down and shakes his head, his back still to, not even turning his head as he says, "This isn't about me, Inara . . . I . . . have no call to be telling you what to do, and what I want doesn't-- this has to be for you." He pauses, searching for the words, "This is one last thing you have to decide for yourself. Your choice."

Without waiting for a reply, he disappears out the door.

She never tells him he's wrong.

***

The sky a pale blue-green, horizon rimmed in gold with the inevitable approach of dawn, Serenity lumbers up from the fueling station, leaving the clutter of the port behind for the open plains.

Inside, Mal threads his way distractedly along the catwalk, one hand on the wall, and down into the cargo bay, listening to the hum of the ship. He steps through the teardrop doorway onto the steps that lead down into the passenger lounge.

Stopping at the top of the steps, he looks lost and confused, seeming not to remember where he was going or why. Glancing around the lounge his eyes settle vacantly on the darkened infirmary window. He stands there a moment before he realizes that he is looking at an empty bed. He scowls, welcoming the irritation as he slowly descends to the infirmary. All is silent as he glances in, not stopping as he rounds the corner and looks down the passenger dorm. All the lights are out in the rooms and no noises stir within the black doorways.

But he does hear something next to him, beyond the pane of glass of the infirmary.

He looks left and shouts out "Bwaaa!" as, from within the shadow of his own reflection, River's face peers out.

She grins at him and taps her finger on the glass, "Got you!" she chortles.

Mal smiles, chagrined, and walks back around to the doorway and flicks on the lights.

"Where's Jayne?" he asks, hand on the wall.

River blinks blearily, looking at her hands, feet swinging off the edge of the table, "With the others." Her good mood fades and she frowns.

Mal steps closer, "Your brother says you haven't been sleeping."

She sulks, sending a dark look his way, shadows still under her eyes, still squinting from the bright lights, "Neither have you," and sticks her tongue out.

Mal smiles to himself as he stands in front of her, "Bad dreams?"

She looks away and doesn't answer.

"Me too," Mal says.

He tugs at River till she slides off the table and onto her feet as she continues to protest in childish whines and mumbles.

"River, you're tired, and Captain says time to go to bed."

She glares sanely at him, "It's morning."

"It don't change the fact you've not been sleeping."

She sways on her feet and he steadies her.

"C'mon," he says, guiding her towards the door.

She stops, pulling her arm free from his loose grip. Looking at him in all seriousness, she says, "Only if you do."

"Sleep?"

She nods.

He considers, and nods back, "Deal."

***

Mal flicks the light off and slides the shoji-styled door shut, stepping back from River's room. He continues on the few paces to the stairs and tiredly ascends them.

As he nears the top, he hears voices drifting down from the bridge, followed by a bout of laughter.

***

Wash lounges back in the pilot's chair as he climbs higher into the atmosphere, the sky a brilliant layering of pink and lavender, the sun still hidden beyond the edge of the planet.

Kaylee peers outside, her face bright, "It's so pretty!"

Jayne walks in from the kitchen and leans against the lockers, looking grumpy, "S'just a buncha stupid grass."

Simon frowns at Jayne, "You really shouldn't be up."

Jayne gives him a dirty look and grimaces, "So shoot me."

"Jayne!" Kaylee scolds.

Simon gives him a pained look, shutting up.

Zoe looks at the doctor, "I'll hold him down for you."

Simon smiles briefly as Wash laughs and Jayne scowls, the merc trying to cross his arms and failing.

Kaylee continues, "Is this where Capn's from?"

Zoe smiles and shakes her head, "I've heard it's a lot like it, which I suppose is why Chet came here."

Kaylee looks innocently devious, "Can we see it?"

Wash glances at her sideways, "What, Chet's ranch?"

Zoe hedges, "I don't think that would be appropriate--"

"At least--" Simon begins, conspiring for Kaylee's benefit, "At least let's stay till after the sun has risen."

Kaylee beams, "It's just a few more minutes." She adds slyly, "And while we're waiting we can take a little peek at the ranch."

"We're not in any rush," Wash jumps in.

"I don't know," Zoe says.

"Come now," Book intervenes, "What's the harm?"

"Yeah, Zo," Wash agrees, "Mal won't get mad. And if he does . . ." he trails off, glancing around the bridge for help, catches Simon's eyes and sends him an imploring look. "It's okay because . . ."

Simon gathers his wits and continues for Wash, "Because . . . you can just tell him that I, uh, successfully hijacked the ship to do a, uh, a flyby."

Everyone freezes, a deathly hush falling over the room.

In the quiet, footsteps are heard on the grating down near the kitchen.

Kaylee manages a pained smile as she turns and sees Mal walking towards them.

"Now you done it," Jayne sneers victoriously.

Mal stops by the hatch to his bunk, staring at the group of them on the bridge, "What are you up to?"

Jayne rats them out, "They're sticking their noses where they don't belong, Mal."

Wash blurts out, pointing a finger at Simon, "He made me do it!"

Zoe agrees, saying admiringly, "He was very persuasive."

Mal looks to Simon for clarification.

The doctor elaborates, "I've finally succeeded in taking over your ship, Captain."

Mal blinks once, then shakes his head, "Oh," and kicks his hatch open.

He climbs down one-handed, and before the hatch closes, a fresh round of laughter follows him into his bunk.

***

As the sun casts it's first rays over the plains, Serenity sails over the sea of grass, a cluster of buildings wafting white smoke rushing towards them. Serenity banks and circles, flying low and chasing the horses into the brightening day.

Mal stumbles as the ship banks sharply again, catching himself against the wall as he stands on one foot and unzips his boot. Kicking it off to join the other boot next to his bunk, he begins peeling off his suspenders, eyes closed as he nearly sleeps on his feet. He smiles as he hears more laughter faintly through the hatch, unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off over the splint on his arm. He undoes and kicks off his pants, lying down in his bed and sinking into the pillow as he pulls the blanket over him.

As his eyes close, a smile drifts across his face as the smell of wood smoke fills the room.

***

River lies in her darkened room, curled on her side, eyes drifting shut. She breathes deep, smiling as she murmurs, "Hickory wind."

***

White smoke curls and undulates in the wind, smelling of wood. The grass ripples and glints around him, his hands catching and releasing the inflorescences, dancing delicately over the tops as he pushes through, swimming.

The plain is lost in shadow, and a rumbling is heard. But then the cloud passes, and the storm clouds stay on the horizon, and the sun shines again.

His mother waits for him, smiling, at the crest of the hill, dark curls blowing around her weathered face. She points behind him, and he turns.

At the bottom of the hill stands River, who smiles up at Mal,

"This is safe."

Fin