Not too long ago...
In a galaxy far, far,
too close, there lived a wicked race of humanoids with the name: Starletballs.
CYNICBALLS
Episode Eleven:
STARLETBALLS
The evil new leaders of
the planet Starletball:
The Fashion Club
are seeking total domination
by creating the ultimate
hairstyle.
But by consuming too
many hairspray cans,
they had foolishly destroyed
their planet precious ozone layer.
Now it is no more possible
to gain a natural tan,
without getting unfashionable
skin cancer.
So the Fashion Club had
devised a secret plan to blackmail ozone
from their peace-loving
neighbor,
planet Sloania.
Today prince Tom of Sloania
is going to wed princess Brittany of Taylor.
But invisible to the
wedding party,
but visible to us of
course, danger sneaks up on high heels. . .
If you can read this,
you don't need glasses
or contacts
or these color contacts
or a laser surgery...
EXT. STARLETBALL ONE
- SPACE
"Starletball One" is
an enormous Spaceship. Slowly it paves its way through the stars.
It is armed with several
multiblasting laser cannons, torpedo decks, fighter jets banks and rocket
launchers. At the end of the ship there is a 500-meter wide bumper sticker
saying: "BABY ON BOARD"
INT. STARLETBALL ONE
- BRIDGE
Colonel Stacy, in a silver
gray uniform, is standing at the bridge.
Around her are a lot
of personal computers each one equipped with one of those nameless spotty
computer geeks.
On the main computer
terminal sits corporal Ted Devitt-Clinton.
Besides him stands medic
Andrea in a fachist Goth combat suit.
The Three Storm J's (That
is Joey, Jeffy and Jamie) are holding laserguns and stand guard. They are
looking rather bored out of the window.
Suddenly a little sneaky
figure stands up: It is sergeant Charles Ruttheimer III....well better
known to the whole crew and the rest of the universe as sergeant Upchuck.
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
Colonel grrrrrr Stacy.
COLONEL STACY:
Eep, what do you want?
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
May, I whisper in your delicious
little ear the delightful message that planet Sloania is in sight, my little
buttercup.
COLONEL STACY :
What ???
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
We arrived at planet Sloania,
ma'am
COLONEL STACY :
Aha! Then I should better
call Mistress Dark Quinn.
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
That is not necessary my
humble flamingo. I took the shameless liberty to call herrrrrr myself.
She is *coming* to us.
VOICE (O.S.) :
Make way for Mistress Dark
Quinn.
The whole crew rises while a door opens revealing "Mistress Dark Quinn", she is wearing a totally black suit. She looks like a mix between Darth Vader, Seven of Nine, Xena and that android from Metropolis. She walks to Stacy. The Three Storm J's are greeting her.
JOEY :
Hi Quinn, you look beautiful.
JEFFY :
Hi Quinn, you are beautiful.
JAMIE :
Hi Quinn, you....you...you...simply
beautiful.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Oh, *thank* you boys. Caramel...
plum... of course, black is always good.
COLONEL STACY :
We arrived at planet Sloania,
Quinn.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Great. I'll just make a
*tiny* *winy* call to President Sandi.
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
No need to do that my precious.
I had the pleasurrrrrre doing it for you.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
What? Eww! You cannot do
such important things like that, behind my back!
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
Well, I am the kind of guy,
who doesn't mind doing things for you behind yourrrrrr back. I think you
should give we a rrrrrrreward.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Of course, Upchuck.
She points her fist at him/ close up of a black ring with an "S" on it, which she wears on her ring finger.
SERGEANT UPCHUCK :
Uups, I got a bad feeling
about this.
The ring starts to glow pink, then a laser blast fires at Upchuck.
CUT TO:
EXT. STARLETBALL ONE -
SPACE
We don't see, where the
blast hit him but is must have hurt a lot.
VOICE OF SERGEANT UPCHUCK
:
Whaoooooooo! Owwwwwwwwww!
CUT TO:
INT. STARLETBALL ONE - BRIDGE
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Medic!!!
Medic Andrea steps into action and drags the unconscious Upchuck away.
COLONEL STACY :
That was cool, Quinn. You
are so gruesome but fair.
The ship's screen shows a picture of planet Sloania.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Ahh, planet Sloania, with
enough ozone for the next ten thousand years. Once we kidnap the prince,
we will force his royal family to give us the combination to its planetary
force field.
Thereby planet Sloania gets
destroyed and planet Starletballs lives.
COLONEL STACY :
Ehem... but isn't destroying
one planet for the sake of another planet a bit...
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
A bit what?
COLONEL STACY :
A bit evil?
THE THREE STORM J'S :
...uh...yeah...Stacy is
right.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Stacy and dear boys. I *know*
planet Sloania needs its ozone layer too, but it is soon summer and I can't
wait to show the world my *new* bikini collection I have bought at the
last sales.
THE THREE STORM J'S :
Yeah! Screw Sloania!!!
COLONEL STACY :
You are so right Quinn.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :(evil
smirk)
Let's hope it is going to
be a long wedding ceremony, because they will have a short honeymoon. Soon
prince Tom will be *mine*.
