INT. STARLETBALL ONE - BRIDGE
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Eww! Be careful, gunner.
I said *across* his car, not *at* his car.
GUNNER : (he
faces Quinn, he looks like Artie, the UFO geek )
Sorry, Quinn. I do the best,
I can.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Who made that geek a gunner?
MAJOR : (he is
Artie, the UFO geek)
I did, Quinn. He is my cousin.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Who is he?
COLONEL STACY :
He is a Moron, Quinn.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
I know that. What's his
name?
COLONEL STACY :
That is his name: Moron.
Major Artie Moron .
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
And his cousin?
COLONEL STACY :
He's a Moron too. First
Class Gunner: Andrew Phillip Moron.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
How many Morons do we got
on this ship?
All, except the Three J's and Ted Devitt-Clinton, stand up and hail to her.
ALL:
We all, Mistress Dark Quinn!
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
I knew it all the time.
I am surrounded by *morons*.
COLONEL STACY :
Ehem, Quinn?
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Yes. All, except Ted, Jeffy,
Joey and what's-his-name.
COLONEL STACY :
Ah... oh you have forgotten...
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Yes, Andrea and Upchuck
at
the medic station.
(ignoring Stacy, addressing
to the crew) Keep on firing, you morons!!!
COLONEL STACY :
Eep!!! (Stacy starts
sobbing)
INT. THE SPACETANK - COCKPIT
Daria and J-Nine sees
how Starletball One is firing at Tom's Pinto.
DARIA STARR :
Uh-oh.
J-NINE :
Oh-oh.
DARIA STARR :
Uh-oh.
J-NINE :
Oh-oh.
DARIA STARR :
Uh-oh, we only can save
him, when we jam their radar.
J-NINE :
Ah-ha! Good idea. Yo, let's
fire a jar of jam at their radar.
DARIA STARR :
Don't be silly, we use the
chocolate bars to make them believe, they came into a meteorite storm
EXT. STARLETBALL ONE
- SPACE
The backdoor of the Spacetank
opens and 100'000 chocolate bars flies out into space. (Hey, this is "sci-fi":
100'000 chocolate bars can fit into the Spacetank). This cloud of chocolate
approaches Starletball One, which stops at once.
The Spacetank docks on Tom's Ford Pinto.
INT. THE SPACETANK - SPACE
Three-NT and Tom board
the ship.
THREE-NT :
Hey, Janey.
J-NINE :
Yo! Three-NT, what are you
doing here?
THREE-NT :
Oh, you know. Babysitting
runaway princes, whatever... Hey Daria.
DARIA STARR : (mutters)
Hi, Three-NT. Hi,…… Tom.
PRINCE TOM :
Nice to see you two again
after so long time... you are getting paid by my parents?
J-NINE :
We are not just doing this
for money.
PRINCE TOM :
So you also do it to revive
our forgotten friendship...
J-NINE :
Nah. We are doing it for
a shitload of money.
INT. SPACEBALL ONE - BRIDGE
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Eww! When is this pesky
meteorite storm over?
CORPORAL TED :
Mistress Dark Quinn, Colonel
Stacy, the radar indicates a subnormal consistence of the meteorite storm.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
The what?
COLONEL STACY :
The what?
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
And the what?
CORPORAL TED :
You know. Due the subatomic
structure of this cosmic constellation, I presume, that the origin of the
phenomenon is artificial.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Does he speaks English too
?
COLONEL STACY :
You must admit, that for
a nerd he is kind of cute.
CORPORAL TED :
To prove my hypothesis,
I have beamed out a sample of the meteorites.
Ted presents Quinn and Stacy a plate with chocolate bars.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Chocolate bars? (she
tastes one bar) Raspberry favor... Delicious... There is only one person
in the universe, who would dare give me the raspberry. My Cousin: Daria
Starr!
COLONEL STACY :
Eep, Quinn look at the radar
screen. A outline of a van.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
A van? The Spacetank! Dah-ree-yahhh!
Dah-ree-yahhhhh!!!
INT. THE SPACETANK - COCKPIT
Daria looks out the window
and sees Starletball One coming near.
DARIA STARR :
Uh-oh. Here comes the Hindenburg.
J-NINE :
Then let's get hyperactive.
PRINCE TOM :
Hyperactive? You mean hyperspeed.
THREE-NT :
Exactly. But hyperactive
sounds cooler… fasten your seatbelt. This is going to rock.
INT. STARLETBALL ONE
- BRIDGE
Quinn and Stacy see the
Spacetank in front of them.
COLONEL STACY :
The ship of your cousin
has got no chance against our firepower.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Excellent. Prepare to attack
at my command. On the count of three: One, two...
The Spacetank takes off into hyperspeed and vanishs in front of the eyes of Quinn..
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Eww!
COLONEL STACY :
They have gone to hyperspeed.
They must have hyperpower on board.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
And what have we got on
board? Propane gas?
COLONEL STACY :
No, Quinn. (to the crew)
Prepare
ship for Light Speed.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
No, Light Speed is not fast
enough.
COLONEL STACY :
What? Light Speed is not
fast enough?
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Not for me. Full blast,
please.
COLONEL STACY : (gasping)
Full blast? Quinn. I don't
know if the ship can take it.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
I am taking the *full* responsibility
Stacy.
Stacy and the whole crew start to buckles up in their seats.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
(To
the crew)
Now hear this, Full blast,
at once. Go!
COLONEL STACY :
Quinn, you have forgotten
to buckle up...
The ship takes off. The display lights up: "Light Speed", "Medium Blast Speed" , and then at last " Full Blast Speed". Quinn is being pulled back by the velocity.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Whoa! What have I done?
I just made my hair.
INT. THE SPACETANK - COCKPIT
Starletball One passes
over the Spacetank. At this velocity Starletball One glooms in a plaid-light-pattern.
THREE-NT :
Cool.
PRINCE TOM :
What the hell was that?
DARIA STARR :
That was Starletball One
at Full blast.
J-NINE :
Quinn would kill herself,
when she finds out she is been seen in plaid.
DARIA STARR : (smirks)
Right get the Polaroid then.
