EXT. MEGA MALL -
ORBIT OF SLOANIA - SPACE
The Spacetank flies into
the Mega Mall and lands in the underground parking lot.
INT. MEGA MALL - UNDERGROUND
PARKING SECTION - SPACE
The Spacetank lands.
Daria, J-Nine, Three-NT and Tom get out.
J-NINE :
I got a plan:
Step One: We press the reverse-button
of the ozone vacuum and blow the ozone back.
Step Two: We press the self-destruct
button of the Mega Mall.
PRINCE TOM :
And Step Three?
J-NINE :
Step Three: There is *NO*
Step Three.
DARIA STARR :
And how can we manage all
that?
J-NINE :
Well, that is the weak point
of my plan.
THREE-NT :
Whoa... check out this huge
machine.
Three-NT points at huge machine, packed with a lot of pipes signed. "Ozone Vacuum".
INT. MEGA MALL - ORBIT
OF SLOANIA - BRIDGE
On the bridge the computers
start to beep like mad.
PRESIDENT SANDI :
Quinn, what's going on?
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Tiffany, what's going on?
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
Staaaaaacy, what's going
on?
COLONEL STACY :
It's "Ozone Vacuum". It
doesn't sucks anymore, it... blows now.
SANDI AND QUINN :
Eeeeeeeeeewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
Is that baaaaaad???
PRESIDENT SANDI :
They're getting all the
ozone back! Quinn do something.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Tiffany do something.
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
Staaaaaacy do something.
COLONEL STACY :
I will take a shower.
INT. MEGA MALL - UNDERGROUND
PARKING SECTION - SPACE
Daria and J-Nine are
pressing the buttons of the "Ozone Vacuum" like mad. Tom is at a "Mega
Mall Information Terminal", while Three-NT is smashing a door in with a
fire axe.
J-NINE :
Bingo. It worked by simply
pressing all shiny red buttons at once.
PRINCE TOM : (looks
up from the information terminal monitor)
I have located the "Self-Destruct
button". It is at the "Central Computer Core".
DARIA STARR :
How long does it takes to
get there?
PRINCE TOM : (looks
at the information terminal monitor)
Approximately 3 minutes,
but on the way there, we have to first break 15 doors open. Three-NT, how
long it does it take?
THREE-NT :
One minute for each door.
J-NINE :
Yeah! It is door-smashing
time.
THREE-NT :
Cool. Rage against the machine.
Yeah.
DARIA STARR :
But that means we need 18
minutes to get there! And we have to act fast, before the Starletballs
send in a repair team.
PRINCE TOM :
Well, this ventilation shaft
is the quickest way to the "Central Computer Core". But there is a problem,
the shaft is too narrow, none of us can fit in it...well accept…
Tom, J-Nine and Three-NT look at Daria.
DARIA STARR :
Curses to my DNA-structure.
PRINCE TOM :
Be careful.
THREE-NT :
And remember Daria we are
behind you...
J-NINE :
...far behind you.
Daria sights and crawls into the ventilation shaft.
PLANET SLOANIA -
INT. THE SLOAN PALACE - CELLAR
The Sloane Family is
in the cellar observing a personal computer.
QUEEN KATHERINE :
Look! The ozone level reaches
again normal parameters.
PRINCESS ELSIE :
Fine. Now I can eat garlic
bread again.
KING ANGIER :
What a pity. I just completed
a new business plan, which enables our planet to become a new holiday destination
for the Goth cult.
INT. MEGA MALL -
CENTRAL COMPUTER CORE
Daria climes out of the
ventilation shaft. She looks around at all the computers and spots a specially
signed self-destruct button.
DARIA STARR :
Who said Murphy's Laws are
universal?
Daria walks to the self-destruct button. Suddenly a familiar voice speaks to her.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Not so fast, Daria.
DARIA STARR :
So Quinn, we meet again.
The circle is complete, when you left me, I was the brain and you were
the brat.
And now *I* am still the
brain and you ...
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Bla, bla, bla... who cares.
DARIA STARR :
There is something you should
know about us Quinn:
(ominous music builds
up)
" * I * AM YOUR
SISTER ! "
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
So? I know that already,
you don't have to tell me it again.
DARIA STARR :
I wasn't talking to you,
I was speaking to the ships intercom, which I just have left on.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
(realizing
that the whole crew of the ship had heard the truth)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
INT. MEGA MALL - BRIDGE
PRESIDENT SANDI :
I hope this stops Quinn's
stupid charade for *good*.
COLONEL STACY :
I would never have denied
Daria, if she were my sister.
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
Yes, Quinn was soooooo mean
to her over all these years.
INT. MEGA MALL -
EXT. CENTRAL COMPUTER CORE - SPACE
Quinn is desperate. She
kneels on the floor and starts sobbing.
DARIA STARR :
Quinn, you don't have to
care about fashion, boys and popularity. If you only knew the POWER of
sarcasm and depth.
Join me! We as sisters then
can destroy this well-liked teeny crap and you will never be known as a
shallow superficial brat again. (holds out a hand to help Quinn up)
Come with me. It is unavoidable,
it is your destiny!
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
No, never. The Salami is
strong with you, Daria. But you are not as good as me. I challenge you
to a fair "Salami Fight" by the rules.
DARIA STARR : (sinister)
If you will not be turned,
you will be humiliated.
Quinn ignites her Salami
ring. A pink light appears, creating a pink lasersaber.
Daria does the same with
her green lasersaber.
Both look at their Salami
lasersabers, seeing that they got the same size.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Eww, not that you have got
the Salami too, yours is as big as mine, that is not fair. But I can handle
my Salami better than you your Salami. I was practicing more than you with
my Salami, in every free minute over the last years…
DARIA STARR :
Quinn... the ships intercom
is still on.
INT. MEGA MALL -
BRIDGE
The whole crew is laughing
their lungs out. Well, except Ted Devitt-Clinton, who doesn't get it.
VOICE OF MISTRESS DARK
QUINN :
EWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
VOICE OF DARIA STARR :
I told you, you will be
humiliated.
