INT. MEGA MALL - UNDERGROUND
PARKING SECTION - SPACE
Daria, J-Nine, Three-NT
and Tom arrive at the Spacetank. They board immediately.
SHIP'S VOICE :
This ship will self destruct
in 20 seconds.
INT. MEGA MALL - ORBIT
OF SLOANIA - ESCAPE POD SECTION
The Fashion Club members
are in a group hug, they are confessing their friendship to each other
in their last remaining seconds.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Oh, Sandi please forgive
me.
PRESIDENT SANDI :
No, Quinn please forgive
me.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
But I was so bitchy....
PRESIDENT SANDI :
No, I was so bitchy.
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
You both were bitchy.
QUINN AND SANDI :
Yeah... hey!...You are right
Tiffany.
SHIP'S VOICE :
This ship will self destruct
in 10 seconds.
COLONEL STACY :
At last it is proofed: We
are all the best friends.
All smile at Stacy...
SHIP'S VOICE :
...7, 6, 5...
COLONEL STACY :
I am so happy...
...but then Stacy face frowns.
COLONEL STACY :
…I am so happy, that I can
remember, I had a "Self-Destruction-Cancellation-Button" build in.
QUINN AND SANDI :
STACY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHIP'S VOICE :
... 2, 1. Have a nice day.
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
You are soooo...
EXT. MEGA MALL -
SPACE
Only at a nick of time,
the Spacetank dashes out just before the Mega Mall explodes.
And then the whole Mega
Mall blast into a million pieces and wreckages flying into all directions.
INT. THE SPACETANK - COCKPIT
Our heroes start cheering.
J-Nine hugs Three-NT. Daria hugs Tom, they both look into their eyes move
their lips closer... and then let go of each other.
Soon they hear a familiar
voice on the television. They watch the screen.
VOICE OF SICK SAD CONTINUUM
ANNOUNCER :
The true reason of spectacular
arrestment of Li the "Angel" and with it the destruction of the Lawndale
Syndicate, is revealed tonight. It was a chocolate meteorite storm of unknown
origin. Next, on "Sick Sad Continuum".
THREE-NT :
Raspberry favor... Delicious.
PRINCE TOM :
Now you don't have to pay
them. You can keep the money for yourselves.
DARIA STARR : (mutters)
Yeah.
J-NINE :
Now, I finally can rent
Brad Pitt.
PLANET SLOANIA - EXT.
THE SLOAN PALACE - DAY
The Spacetank lands in
front of the palace. Tom's family is already waiting for them.
KING ANGIER : (hugs
Tom)
Oh Tom.
QUEEN KATHERINE :(hugs
Tom)
Oh Tom, my little sunshine.
PRINCESS ELSIE :
Oh, Tom. (yawns) Where
have you been?
PRINCE TOM :
Well, may I introduce you
to my friends.
KING ANGIER :
Thanks a million for saving
him and our planet.
J-NINE :
Two million... in bar. No
checks.
THREE-NT :
Hey, shouldn't I get something
too?
Brittany storms out the palace directly to Tom.
PRINCESS BRITTANY :
Oh Tom! At last you have
found our wedding ring.
Brittany embraces Tom and gives him a wet passionate tongue kiss in front all the people.
THREE-NT :
It's not bad to be the prince.
Brittany still is kissing
Tom. Daria looks at them, she can't tell if Tom is enjoying it.
She turns to J-Nine.
DARIA STARR :
Let's collect the cash and
beat it
J-NINE :
Shouldn't we stay for the
wed... (she sees the sadness Daria's face) …Okay.
EXT. THE SPACETANK - SPACE
Music: "Fly Away" by
"Lenny Kravitz".
The Spacetank is flying
into space away from planet Sloania.
EXT. MOM'S DINER - SPACE
The Mom's Diner is a
space station with a landing platform. Daria and J-Nine are walking from
their parked Spacetank into the diner.
INT. MOM'S DINER - SPACE
Waitress Sue is serving
Daria and J-Nine at the bar.
SUE THE WAITRESS :
(to J-Nine)
Okay that is a chicken with
fries. (to Daria) And you?
DARIA STARR :
Dry toast and tea, please.
SUE THE WAITRESS :
I thought you looked depressed.
Love sick, hmm?
DARIA STARR :
I thought you were a waitress
and not a shrink, HMM?
SUE THE WAITRESS :
You got a mouth on you,
ever thought of becoming a waitress?
DARIA STARR :
No, but I can imagine becoming
a mass murderer.
SUE THE WAITRESS :
Okay... okay sweetheart.
(writes
the order and walks off)
J-NINE :
I see you spread joy and
happiness. So what are you doing with your million?
DARIA STARR :
I don't want to talk about
it.
J-NINE :
...You didn't take it.
DARIA STARR :
I said: I don't want to
talk about it.
J-NINE :
You want to express with
that special gesture something.
DARIA STARR :
Ahh J-NINE!!! I just don't
want to talk about it.
J-NINE : (sights)
Okay, okay. Let's talk about
something else. How about spaceidiots spotting?
DARIA STARR : (sinister)
I spot one spaceidiot sitting
beside me.
J-NINE :
Good one Daria. I spot one
spaceidiot in a Hawaii shirt at that group over there... ohmigawd … Daria...
check out that girl with the glasses...
Daria and J-Nine look at a group of seven people sitting at the other end of the bar.
One of them is a girl with glasses, who looks EXACTLY like Daria.
She sits beside a brunet jock, who wears a Hawaii shirt. The rest of the crew contains: one blonde bimbo, one elderly man with white hair strains, a mid-forties woman and a female and a male Afro-American. They are all wearing the same overalls, which indicates, that they work for one of those huge mining companies. All are enjoying a meal, while the male Afro-American is telling them some anecdotes.
CHIEF ENGINEER "MACK"
PARKER :
...we were lost. Nobody
knew where we were. And then Harry said he wanted to re-install "Windows"
again, and I said to him:
I meant "iMAC" not "I Mack"
you dummy!
All start laughing, even that girl with glasses.
CHIEF ENGINEER "MACK"
PARKER :
And now a killer joke about
the "iMAC":
... Sorry, I can't tell
you. It's not "PC".
All laugh even more.
FIRST OFFICIER HELEN KANE
:
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha hhhhhh...uerk
uh barf...
She is choking out her food and grabs her chest.
LIEUTENANT DARIA RIPLY
:
Uh Helen, what is the matter?
CHIEF ENGINEER "MACK"
PARKER :
I told you it was a killer
joke.
Helen keeps on spitting out her food. She lies down on the bar, winding in pain.
CAPTAIN JODIE DALLAS :
Bring some water.
SIENCE OFFICIER ANTHONY
ASH:
What SHE needs is the HeimLICH
Maneuver!
TECHNICIAN ASSISTANT KEVIN
BRETT :
What did she order, babe?
NAVIGATOR BRITTANY LAMBERT
:
Oh, she had the Luna fish.
TECHNICIAN ASSISTANT KEVIN
BRETT :
The Luna fish? I ordered
that too. (to the waitress) I change my order to the Luna soup.
NAVIGATOR BRITTANY LAMBERT
:
Oh, you are so smart...
stop smiling at the waitress, Kevy!
FIRST OFFICIER HELEN KANE
:
...ARRRGGGGGGG!
A "Quinnien"-Monster ("Half-Alien / Half-Quinn" creature, which is 30 centimeters long) breaks out Helen's chest, covering the whole crew with blood.
LIEUTENANT DARIA RIPLY
:
Oh, no. In space nobody
can escape tasteless crossovers.
FIRST OFFICIER HELEN KANE
: (looks at it)
Ahhh, isn't she a cutie.
(she
faints)
The Quinnien jumps out
of the chest on to the bar. Everyone including Daria Starr and J-Nine is
stunned with horror.
The Quinnien growls and
then... She starts singing and dancing down the bar.
QUINNIEN : (singing a song in the tone of "Baby One More Time" by "Britney Spears")
...Oh baby, baby,
how was I supposed to know.
Oh dearest baby,
but I have to let you go.
I must confess,
that my cutie-ness
is killing you now.
Do you know what I do believe,
that you will be no more.
It's your last life sign.
Goodbye baby the last time.
The Quinnien dances past Daria Starr and J-Nine. They both stare at it in disbelieve.
My cutie-ness
is killing you (and I).
I must confess,
what I do believe (do believe).
When I'm no more in you,
you lose your life.
It's your last life sign.
Goodbye baby the last time.
I must confess (my cutie-ness),
that my cutie-ness (is killing
you)
is killing you now (I must
confess).
Do you know, what I do believe
(I do believe),
that you will be no more
and it's your last life
sign --
goodbye baby the last time.
The Quinnien jumps from
the bar right into a ventilation shaft.
As soon the Quinnien
is gone, Daria and J-Nine stand up at once.
DARIA AND J-NINE :
Check please.
