PLANET SLOANIA -
EXT. THE SLOAN PALACE - DAY
Tom is standing on a
balcony. He is staring up to the sky. Three-NT approaches.
THREE-NT :
Still thinking of Daria?
PRINCE TOM :
She didn't take the million.
THREE-NT :
Huh?
PRINCE TOM :
She wanted to express with
that special gesture something, by not taking the million spacedollars
reward.
THREE-NT :
Well, that is our Daria.
The coolest girl in the galaxy.
Elsie joins them.
PRINCESS ELSIE :
Yes, but she took 284 spacedollars
for lunch, gas, and tolls.
PRINCE TOM :
What do you want Elsie?
PRINCESS ELSIE :
Well... Three-NT, there
is still something you wanted to show me.
THREE-NT :
Ah yes, excuse us Tom.
Three-NT and Elsie walk off into the park. Tom's face frowns.
INT. THE SPACETANK - COCKPIT
- SPACE
Silence.
Daria and J-Nine are
just staring at the stars.
Then Daria breaks out:
DARIA STARR :
I want to be again together
with Tom!
J-NINE :
Huh?... Are you sure? We
are too far away. Tom will be already married, when we arrive back at Sloania.
DARIA STARR :
Yes. And there is still
the concept that princes are only allowed to marry princess or popular
women. So... I have got no chance at all... so unpopular... I am... (Daria
is about to cry...)
AMY'S VOICE :
Tam, tah, tah, tahhh. Amy,
the godlike Deus Ex Machina is speaking to you...
DARIA AND J-NINE :
Amy!
DARIA STARR :
Amy, what are you doing
again in my head.
AMY'S VOICE :
Just checking out sexual
fantasies of yours.
J-NINE :
Does Daria have interesting
sexual fantasies?
AMY'S VOICE :
Not as interesting than
yours J-Nine.
J-NINE : (to herself)
Think of baseball, think
of baseball...
AMY'S VOICE :
Daria Starr, that referee's
whistle, that you wear around your neck. Here is its real meaning: It is
from South Korea on planet Earth. And planet Earth is a place, where you
are a popular star, you have got your own TV-series and ten-thousands of
fans, who spam regularly the internet with more or less creative fanfics.
So my dear Daria. This whistle proofs, that you are a certified popular.
DARIA STARR :
I am popular. Which means…
hang on, isn't that a contradiction.
AMY'S VOICE :
Which means, you should
save Tom, before he suffers severe dehydration, after spending his honeymoon
night in bed with that blond-big-boobed-bimbo. To get back to Sloania in
time, there is a special can of fuel I have hidden in your glove compartment.
J-NINE : (to herself)
...think of baseball, think
of baseball...
DARIA STARR :
J-Nine! Open the glove compartment.
J-Nine opens the glove compartment and pulls out a can.
J-NINE :
Whoa, a can of Liquid Salami.
I will pour it at once in the emergency tank.
DARIA STARR :
Amy! A last question: Are
all fanfics of Ace Trax always tawdry, stupid and humiliating, or is he
just in a phase?
AMY'S VOICE :
I don't believe that people,
who write Daria fanfics grow out of any phase.
DARIA STARR : (sights)
Thank you for everything
Amy.
AMY'S VOICE :
You are welcome. And may
the Salami be with you.
DARIA STARR :
Fasten your seatbelt J-Nine,
we are going to make Hyperactive Speed look like the "The Florida Ballots
Recount of the Year 2000".
EXT. THE SPACETANK -
SPACE
The Spacetank turns around
sharply and dashes into the stars at Salami Speed.
ORBIT OF AN UNKNOWN PLANET
- SPACE
The wreckage of the Mega
Mall falls toward the planet. The Fashion Club is screaming.
THE FASHION CLUB :
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
UNKNOWN PLANET - BEACH
- DAY
The wreckage crashes
on the beach. The Fashion Club is dirty but still alive. They make their
way out of the craft.
MISTRESS DARK QUINN :
Eww, I need a shower.
PRESIDENT SANDI :
Oh, shut up Quinn!
COMMANDERETTE TIFFANY
:
Oh, shut the up you two!!
COLONEL STACY :
Oh, shut up you three!!!
At the horizon there are two repulsive figures on a lawnmower observing the scene.
Two repulsive figures on a lawnmower?
Guess who:
BUTTHEAD :
Whoa! Look, someone has
dropped something.
BEAVIS :
Whoa! Heh heh um heh droppings
heh heh droppings.
Butthead looks through in his binoculars.
BUTTHEAD :
Uh huh huh huh! Whoa...Beavis
look, chicks.
BEAVIS :
Heh heh heh. Yeah! Chicks.
BUTTHEAD :
Huh Huh. This is it, Beavis.
We're finally gonna score!
BEAVIS :
Yeah! Heh heh heh! Now we
are gonna get some!
Butthead looks again through his binoculars and notice that these girls fall into the category of supermodels.
BUTTHEAD :
Hey, one, two, three, four
hot gorgeous babes! This is gonna be cool!
BEAVIS :
Whoa, four chicks for the
two of us...that is for each of us ....
wait ...four chicks... I
got it ...wait....each of us....I got it....wait....four chicks....I got
it.... each of us….
BUTTHEAD :
You are such a dumbass,
Beavis.
BEAVIS :
Who cares Butthead. Heh
heh there is enough for us both heh heh heh.
BUTTHEAD :
Oh shut up bunghole. You
are too stupid for *these* chicks. They are mine.
BEAVIS :
DAMMIT! Give me some chicks.
I WANNA SCORE!
BUTTHEAD :
Here, I give you some chicks.
Butthead smashes the binoculars over Beavis's head. Beavis passes out for some seconds, but then he immediately stands up.
BEAVIS : (in Cornhoolio
mode)
ARE YOU THREATENING ME?!
Both start fighting.
