"WELCOME TO NEVADA!!!" A sign by the side of the road read. Why Nevada? Buffy thought, confused. Why does it matter where we go?
They rode in silence all day. Every now and again they would pull over at a rest stop, or go to get food items of some sort. But always back to the bus. Always back to the road. Always on the move. They never stopped to rest. "Can't we rest, Buffy?" Buffy tried to think of other things. Look out there. That was a cactus. And look-a dead snake. Poor dead snake. Dead. Like Spike. This wasn't working. She looked the other way. Kennedy lay with her head in Willow's lap as Willow looked out the window, playing with her hair. He used to like to play with my hair. He wanted to call me Goldilocks. In frustration she turned to look at Xander. He was sleeping in one of his many Hawaiian print t-shirts. Remember when Spike had to wear one of those shirts?
No matter what she thought of, it brought back memories of him. She closed her eyes and remembered when they were in that old house with no electricity. They hit a little bump and she remembered the sound of his motorcycle hitting potholes. She breathed in and remembered what it felt like to have his intoxicating scent fill her senses. She blinked and remembered leaving him to his fiery death. Without even saying goodbye.
She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to the cool window. "Goodbye, Spike."

"Hello, William."
"Mother?"
"Yes, William."
Spike was completely confused. How could they be speaking? How could she be here?
"Where are we? Why are you here? What is this place?"
He heard her sweet laughter echoing throughout this place. "William, you are in Heaven."
"Heaven?"
"Yes." She paused slightly. "Everyone has their own special part of heaven. What they wanted heaven to be. This is yours."
Spike pondered this. He could see, smell, feel, and hear Buffy. Yup. It was his part of Heaven alright. "Then why are you here?"
"William, you aren't happy."
"No, I'm not."
"Why? This is what you want, isn't it?"
If Spike still had a body he would have pouted his lips. "No. I want Buffy."
"But you have her. Here."
Spike let Buffy's smooth voice wash over him for a moment. "No, mother. I don't. She's down there, without me."
"There's nothing you can do about that, William."
Spike felt his anger building up within him. "We'll see about that."
He felt a slight pressure upon him. His mother. Trying to calm him. But it would do no good. He would do anything to get back to Buffy. Anything.

Anything. She'd give anything, just to go back to that one moment. She wouldn't have run. He would've said "Go, Buffy!" And she would have cried out "I'm not leaving you. I can't." And she would have wrapped her arms around him and held him and died the way she'd always dreamt of. In his arms.
It's not supposed to be this way, she thought stubbornly. She gently fingered his letter to her. He loved me. Really loved me. She thought back to when he was still alive. Well, when he was still here. When he had been jealous of Angel. When he had defended her against her friends. In all her life, he was the only person who'd ever been loyal. Who'd always been there for her. Spike, where did you go? Why did you leave me?