"Lil' Bit?" Silence. "Dawn?"

"How dare you come back here!" It wasn't a question.

So she knew. Of course she knew. He wasn't surprised and yet the way the Slayer tried to shelter the girl . . .

"Does sis know you're out at this hour?"

"As a matter of fact she does."

"And I supposed she's also giving you leave to go patrolling all by your lonesome?"

"Yes," she pressed harder.

"So stake me and get it over with."

"Why?"

"Me Vamp. You Junior Slayer."

"I'm not laughing, Spike."

"Nor am I. But if you don't ease up a bit, you'll be sitting answerless in a pile of dust."

"You try anything . . ."

"Yeah. Yeah. Ain't heard that one before," he mumbled brushing himself off.

"So why'd you do it, Spike?" More hurt than angry now.

Suddenly, Spike was very tired. No more games. Aside from Joyce, Dawn was the only one of the lot who had given him a fair chance. It was a good tin Joyce was dead. This was bad enough.

"I was sick of it all. Sick of the restraint. Sick of the pain. Sick of being a failure . . . of being William again."

"William?"

"The poncy git I was back before Dru. Back when I wasn't fit to wipe another's boots. You would think that after all these years Cicely would stop tormenting me, that the pain would fade . . . Beneath her, bloody hell."

"So you pay Buffy back for what some girl did to you a hundred and some odd years ago? Your ego gets hurt, so you strike out and hurt back?"

"Junior Psychologist as well as Junior Slayer?"

"Spike!"

"You're old enough to know things ain't ever easy, Nibblet. You should know that what with living in this here town and all."

"Former cosmic ball of energy, jilted vamp turned rapist. I can empathize completely.

"Sarcasm must run in the blood." Catching her look, "Just stake me and be done with it. Nothing has got to be better than this. It's one big cock up."

"This isn't like you, Spike."

"Isn't like me? You don't even know me. I don't even know me anymore."

~*~

"Where have you been all these months?"

"Africa. Then the world."

"We could have used you here."

"What another apocalypse?"

"It was different this time."

"Two apocalypses?"

"It was Willow."

"Red dabbling in the Magicks again?"

"That's an understatement," and Dawn went on to tell him about Warren's shooting spree, Tara's death sending Willow over the edge, Warren's demise, Giles' return . . .

"And the whelp saved the day?"

"Xander's been there since they were kids. Back in the days when no one else took notice."

"So how does you're new gig fit in with all of this?"

"Buffy and I were trapped in an underground tomb, surrounded with the world ending around us . . . After it all, she finally realized that I could hold my own and that she can't always do it alone.

"I thought you loved her, Spike."

"I do, Dawn. Sometimes there are no reasons. Sick of being hurt, sometimes you do hurt back. Look at Xander and Anya. As much as I hate to admit it, I can sympathize with the bloke. And Red. She's right, love makes you do the wacky."

"So, Africa . . ."

"I went there to get fixed and got fixed right well."

"The chip?"

"Don't worry, Lil' Bit, ol' Spike's as toothless as ever."