"I'm sorry," she said, taking them both by surprise.

The silence was deafening. Of all the things Buffy could have said at that moment, "I'm sorry" was the last thing Spike ever expected to hear come out of her mouth.

"I've never given you a chance, have I?" she continued slowly.

He had to be dreaming. If there was one thing the Slayer never did (at least with him), it was to concede. She may never be completely right, but she was never wrong.

"Even after everything he did, I still gave Angel a chance."

Did she have to bring that brooding wanker into this?

"Maybe it's because I knew him as good before I saw the evil. Whereas with you, I—"

"Once a soulless Big Bad, always a soulless Big Bad, eh, Slayer?"

"Spike, please let me finish," she pleaded. Apologizing to Spike had been the last thing she intended to do when she set out that night. It was hard to do, but it was the right thing to do. She had been afraid to acknowledge certain things, afraid of what they might mean.

"It's too little, too late, I know," she sighed. "I don't like needing people. I'm the Slayer, the Chosen One. One, alone, do it all by myself. And when I fall in love, I wind up devastated and alone soon after. So why open myself up to that pain again? What feels so right has to be wrong if it destroys me in the end. You made me feel again, Spike. And when I began to feel too much . . ."

"You withdrew and pushed me away," he shrugged noncommittally. This was nothing new to him, but you can't make a person see what they refuse to until they choose to see it. Even when the truth is blindingly obvious to everyone else.

"I need you to forgive me, Spike. It's a lot to ask, and I understand why you wouldn't. I can't. But if I mean anything to you anymore, whatever the sentiment . . ."

He walked slowly over to her, holding her gaze the entire time. "I think we've both done our share. What I tried to do, however, can't be forgiven."

"And what I've done to you isn't as bad?"

He considered a moment, then held out his hand. "How about a new start? Name's Spike."

Buffy looked at the hand, then shook it. "I'm Buffy."