Spike didn't sleep at all. He watched her. Watched her breathing,
listened to her slow, steady heartbeat. It should have been so soothing to
him. But it did little to calm his mind, which kept turning over that
phrase 100 times a minute. 'Maybe I can return the favor.' He didn't know
how to take it. Was it sleepy ramblings? Did she mean it? Spike wanted to
believe she meant it, but couldn't really hope that much.
Buffy woke to find Spike looking at her. She smiled at him. His face lit up.
"Thanks. You're right, last night was the best sleep I've had in a long time." Buffy rolled over on her back, stretching.
"Happy to oblige, m' lady."
"You didn't sleep?"
"Nah, creature of the night, ya know."
"Well, that's good, cuz I think I might make this a regular thing. If I can get that kind of sleep every night, Glory won't know what hit her! And since you'll be up late anyway....."
"Whatever you need, luv. Gotta admit, you letting me be in your room, much less your bed.....threw me for a loop. I assume *that*'s not going to be a regular thing....." Spike tried to keep the hope out of his voice.
"Well.....I don't know. You're kind of handy. But probably not. Seeing as how I'm not sure what Dawn would think of you emerging from my room every morning. But the mushy massage thing.....definitely a service I might request in the future."
Spike smirked, "Oh yeah? And what kind of payment does that include?"
Buffy looked into his sparkling eyes and smiled. She turned on her side and reached up to caress his face. Then she leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss, not unlike the one she gave him after Glory had tortured him. Just as he had done that night, Spike pulled back, confused.
"Don't want that kind of payment."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Oh no? Since when?"
"Don't want anything from you out of obligation. Told you that already." Spike sat up and tried to leave the bed, but a hand on his shoulder stilled him.
"Spike.....I know you have no reason to believe me. And I don't fully understand it myself. But I meant what I said last night."
Spike stiffened. "You said a lot of things last night. Care to be specific?"
"Everything. I meant it all."
"Yeah, I particularly remember the bit where you said if you thought too much, I'd be sleeping alone."
"I meant that too. Because you're right, I do think too much. I overanalyze things, *every*thing. I think I just need to relax. And you do that for me. And I don't just mean the killer massages. Knowing you're here for Dawn.....for me.....it helps me not worry so much. I don't feel like I have to do it all on my own. I feel safe, protected. Funny, huh? The Slayer feels protected by a vampire. But I do. It's something I can't argue, even with myself. And believe me, I've tried. But you love me. And I feel it. And it's nice. And I know the others love me too, but sometimes I think they're just keeping their heads above water. They shouldn't have to worry about me in all this. It's always been my job to worry about them. And since my mom died, no one worries just about me and Dawn. Sure, there's Giles, but he's *every*one's surrogate father. He worries for us all. Hell, he worries for the *world*. But you.....you worry for me and Dawn. I know it's kind of selfish, but I like it. Thinking that there is someone who is really concerned about me. Someone who loves me above anything else. I mean, I felt it with Angel, but still.....he had the weight of the world on him. I guess there is a perk to being soulless." Buffy tried for a chuckle, but it wouldn't come. "Look, Spike, I don't want to give you the wrong idea. Either way. I'm not saying something will happen with us, but I also want you to know that I'm not denying that I do have some feelings for you. Seeing you with Dawn all this time, seeing how you protect her and love her. Feeling how you love me. How could I not feel something? *What* I feel is the question, and I'm so sorry to say I can't focus on it right now. I just want to enjoy what little happiness I can right now. I have Dawn and Glory to focus on, but knowing you're by my side makes that easier. And I know it isn't fair, but I just can't focus on you.....or us right now."
Spike turned to look at Buffy, seeing her solemn face made him smile. "Pet, you *shouldn't* focus on me. You have the Nibblet to look after. *We* have her to look after. The only thing I want from you is to let me keep doing what I have been, looking after and loving my Summers girls. You let me do that, and I'm a happy vamp. Anything else that comes along is just icing, ya know?" Spike bent down and gave Buffy a kiss on the forehead. He then got up and stretched.
As he walked to her bedroom door, Buffy asked, "Why are you so good to us?"
Spike smiled and said without turning, "You know the answer to that, pet."
He opened the door to find Dawn emerging from the bathroom with saucers for eyes. "Um, morning, Spike," she said with a giggle.
Spike just nodded his head and said, "Nibblet," as he quickly made his way to the stairs.
Dawn bounded into Buffy's room, Buffy smiling wide. "Oh my God, did you two *do* it?"
"God, gutterbrain, no we did not. Spike just.....we just talked for a while and fell asleep. I hurt my back on patrol and he helped me to bed. I let him stay. Just for sleeping though."
"You *so* totally like him now, don't you?" Dawn was giddy at all the possibilities.
Buffy smiled and stretched again, not unlike a tigress. "Well, Dawnie, you're not wrong."
THE END
**
Ok, I like ending my stories with a bit of hope instead of always a finale, so this one's done. I'm focusing on a bigger story right now, and I liked this one too much to let it suffer or let it drop. So R&R if you would be so kind!
Buffy woke to find Spike looking at her. She smiled at him. His face lit up.
"Thanks. You're right, last night was the best sleep I've had in a long time." Buffy rolled over on her back, stretching.
"Happy to oblige, m' lady."
"You didn't sleep?"
"Nah, creature of the night, ya know."
"Well, that's good, cuz I think I might make this a regular thing. If I can get that kind of sleep every night, Glory won't know what hit her! And since you'll be up late anyway....."
"Whatever you need, luv. Gotta admit, you letting me be in your room, much less your bed.....threw me for a loop. I assume *that*'s not going to be a regular thing....." Spike tried to keep the hope out of his voice.
"Well.....I don't know. You're kind of handy. But probably not. Seeing as how I'm not sure what Dawn would think of you emerging from my room every morning. But the mushy massage thing.....definitely a service I might request in the future."
Spike smirked, "Oh yeah? And what kind of payment does that include?"
Buffy looked into his sparkling eyes and smiled. She turned on her side and reached up to caress his face. Then she leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss, not unlike the one she gave him after Glory had tortured him. Just as he had done that night, Spike pulled back, confused.
"Don't want that kind of payment."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Oh no? Since when?"
"Don't want anything from you out of obligation. Told you that already." Spike sat up and tried to leave the bed, but a hand on his shoulder stilled him.
"Spike.....I know you have no reason to believe me. And I don't fully understand it myself. But I meant what I said last night."
Spike stiffened. "You said a lot of things last night. Care to be specific?"
"Everything. I meant it all."
"Yeah, I particularly remember the bit where you said if you thought too much, I'd be sleeping alone."
"I meant that too. Because you're right, I do think too much. I overanalyze things, *every*thing. I think I just need to relax. And you do that for me. And I don't just mean the killer massages. Knowing you're here for Dawn.....for me.....it helps me not worry so much. I don't feel like I have to do it all on my own. I feel safe, protected. Funny, huh? The Slayer feels protected by a vampire. But I do. It's something I can't argue, even with myself. And believe me, I've tried. But you love me. And I feel it. And it's nice. And I know the others love me too, but sometimes I think they're just keeping their heads above water. They shouldn't have to worry about me in all this. It's always been my job to worry about them. And since my mom died, no one worries just about me and Dawn. Sure, there's Giles, but he's *every*one's surrogate father. He worries for us all. Hell, he worries for the *world*. But you.....you worry for me and Dawn. I know it's kind of selfish, but I like it. Thinking that there is someone who is really concerned about me. Someone who loves me above anything else. I mean, I felt it with Angel, but still.....he had the weight of the world on him. I guess there is a perk to being soulless." Buffy tried for a chuckle, but it wouldn't come. "Look, Spike, I don't want to give you the wrong idea. Either way. I'm not saying something will happen with us, but I also want you to know that I'm not denying that I do have some feelings for you. Seeing you with Dawn all this time, seeing how you protect her and love her. Feeling how you love me. How could I not feel something? *What* I feel is the question, and I'm so sorry to say I can't focus on it right now. I just want to enjoy what little happiness I can right now. I have Dawn and Glory to focus on, but knowing you're by my side makes that easier. And I know it isn't fair, but I just can't focus on you.....or us right now."
Spike turned to look at Buffy, seeing her solemn face made him smile. "Pet, you *shouldn't* focus on me. You have the Nibblet to look after. *We* have her to look after. The only thing I want from you is to let me keep doing what I have been, looking after and loving my Summers girls. You let me do that, and I'm a happy vamp. Anything else that comes along is just icing, ya know?" Spike bent down and gave Buffy a kiss on the forehead. He then got up and stretched.
As he walked to her bedroom door, Buffy asked, "Why are you so good to us?"
Spike smiled and said without turning, "You know the answer to that, pet."
He opened the door to find Dawn emerging from the bathroom with saucers for eyes. "Um, morning, Spike," she said with a giggle.
Spike just nodded his head and said, "Nibblet," as he quickly made his way to the stairs.
Dawn bounded into Buffy's room, Buffy smiling wide. "Oh my God, did you two *do* it?"
"God, gutterbrain, no we did not. Spike just.....we just talked for a while and fell asleep. I hurt my back on patrol and he helped me to bed. I let him stay. Just for sleeping though."
"You *so* totally like him now, don't you?" Dawn was giddy at all the possibilities.
Buffy smiled and stretched again, not unlike a tigress. "Well, Dawnie, you're not wrong."
THE END
**
Ok, I like ending my stories with a bit of hope instead of always a finale, so this one's done. I'm focusing on a bigger story right now, and I liked this one too much to let it suffer or let it drop. So R&R if you would be so kind!
