"The Dry Spell"
Monica opened the door to her apartment the next day and was surprised to find it empty. Where was Chandler? She set her grocery bags on the kitchen table and saw a note on the fridge.
Mon,
Went to the movies with Joey. Be back around 7:00.
Chandler
Monica looked up at the clock. It was twenty to seven. She smiled - perfect. She had just the right amount of time to get ready. She quickly put the eggs and milk in the fridge. Then she went into the bedroom and pulled off her jeans, blouse, bra and undies. Out of the bag she'd brought into the bedroom she pulled a can of whipped cream. She sprayed whipped cream over her nipples and lower area, grinning at the tantalizing effect.
She inspected the other items in the bag. Chocolate sauce and maraschino cherries - she was going to be a human hot fudge sundae! She put the cherries in a bowl next to the bed and set out the chocolate sauce. Then she pulled the comforter off the bed and pulled the last item out of the bag. Trojan condoms- Her Pleasure.
Damn right, Monica thought triumphantly. It's all about 'her pleasure.'
She finished straightening up the room and lay on the bed, twisting her body in a seductive way. A few minutes later she heard the door open and shut.
"Monica?" Chandler called.
"In he-ere," she sing-songed. Chandler opened the door and his jaw dropped.
"Hey, baby.''
"Hell-ooo," he stammered. "What is all this?"
"Well, you said you would make up for last night," Monica said. "So get over here." Chandler stared at her for a few seconds longer before hurrying over to her and pulling off his shoes and unbuckling his pants.
Before he even got his pants off, Monica pulled him down onto the bed and quickly pulled his shirt off. They started kissing, and then Chandler moved his mouth down to her breasts, where he slowly sucked off the whipped cream. Monica shivered in delight, her loins growing warm.
But they weren't done yet. Monica remembered her need to spice things up. She took out the chocolate sauce and told Chandler to lie down on the bed with his eyes closed. He cocked his head but did as he was told. Slowly, Monica poured a stream of chocolate all over his body. She then climbed on top of him and licked it off, moving her tongue around in circles.
It was then that she realized some of the chocolate sauce and the whipped cream were on the sheets - her beautiful satin sheets. She tried to ignore it as he put chocolate sauce on her own body and pulled out the rest of the food. Chandler started kissing her neck again, and they climbed into the bed. Chandler pulled the comforter over them, and soon it was smeared with dark chocolate, whipped cream, and squished cherries. Just as she and Chandler were about to make love, Monica pushed the comforter away.
"Wait!" she cried in dismay. "It's too dirty! I just cleaned this!"
"Calm down! We can wash it later," Chandler said, pulling her back under the covers.
"No, the stains will set in. These are my good sheets! Get up!" she cried, preparing to strip the beds of it's linens
"Monica, if you didn't want to get your sheets dirty, why did you bring the food in here?'' Chandler asked, standing up and crossing his arms.
"Because... because I wanted to... oh, never mind!" Monica picked up all the sheets and hurried out to the living room, where there was a basket for dirty clothes.
"You have chocolate sauce on your butt!" Chandler called after her.
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Rachel set up the bedroom in as dim and seductive setting as she could. Red cloths over the lamps giving off a pink glow to the room, candles. She was going to get into his pants tonight. No matter what. She pulled out all of her lotions as she could; she even took out this stuff that she bought that with Monica. It was in a green jar, and it tasted wonderful and sweet. The point was to lick it off of one another, but she hoped that she could even get to that form of foreplay. With the way Ross was acting, she just didn't know anymore.
Rachel heard the keys jingling in the door. This was it, just about time for Ross to give up his lent and make love to her. She straightened her black teddy and leaned back on the bed. Rose pedals were everywhere. She listened.
"Rachel, where are you?" He said loud enough for her to hear. She smiled maliciously.
"In here, baby." She growled. Ross walked right pass the open door to the bedroom, then backtracked, his eyes widening as he peered in.
"Wh-what's all this?" He asked uncomfortably. Rachel got up onto her knees, motioning for him to enter.
"I thought we needed a little more, ahem, sex." She finished. Ross smiled awkwardly.
"Ah, Rach, you know how I feel about... objects." He finished. Rachel had forgotten how old-fashioned Ross was. He never used stuff in bed. (KY jelly, whips, food.) To him sex was a personal, loving thing. She brushed it off.
"Stop being a pussy and screw me." She said flatly. Ross' jaw dropped.
"Oh, I love it when you're naughty." He said in the same tone. Both were getting more annoyed than aroused. Ross set his briefcase down.
"Well?" She asked, trying again to set the mood. "Is this doing anything for you?" She asked as she rubbed her stomach and neck sexily, She began to lick her fingers and flipped her hair like something out of "Baywatch". Ross looked at her sweetly.
"Honey, you don't need to go all out and stuff to get me motivated. All I need is you." He said pulling her near him. She smiled and kissed him gently.
"Shut up and let's do it." She said in a dominating manner, pulling him to the bed. Rachel sat on her knees towards Ross' feet and straddled his legs. Ross smiled as he took her arms and pulled her down on top of him. Things were getting heated as Rachel took one of his hands without him noticing, and pulled it to the pole of the bed, where she hand cuffed him. Ross stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes.
"Please tell me you did NOT just do that." He said simply. Rachel smiled.
"But Ross, you've been such a BAD boy." She smiled, taking his other hand and placing it on her breast, moving it around for him since he wasn't.
"Okay, let me go." He said a bit annoyed, motioning with his free hand towards the pole. Rachel shook her head.
"But then you would be free, and I am in charge here as-" She lifted her leg revealing a garter belt with a badge attached. "Detective Lovett" She said softly, letting the words just roll off of her tongue. She looked at him. He looked confused. "Can you at least play along?" She whispered. He stuttered, and she climbed off of him. "If you don't, I will leave you here, like this, and I go over to Joey's and-"
"Rachel, wait!" He started.
"Seriously, Ross, I WANT IT! If you don't give it to me I will find someone who will and Joey-"
"I HAVE been a bad boy!" He said loudly. "A very VERY BAD boy!" Rachel started laughing.
"That's the best you can do?" She asked. Ross shrugged absently. "Okay." She climbed back on top of him opening his shirt and licking down his stomach. She got his pants off to where he was only in his boxers with his work shirt wide open, and was about to get her groove on. Ross stopped her.
"Rach, it's hot in here." He said simply.
"Hell yea it is." She said continuing.
"No, Rachel! The lamp is on fire!" He yelled. Rachel hurried over to the lamp where the red cloth had been over the lamp and began patting at it with a towel. Finally, she got it out, and then ran over to the other one to get the cloth off just in case. She sat on the end of the bed, when a shrill yelling came from the other room. Both looked at one another simultaneously.
"That would be Emma." He said, gasping for air. Rachel sighed.
"I'll get her." She sighed. She took one last look at Ross before leaving the room.
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Monica walked sluggishly into Rachel and Ross's apartment. Rachel was feeding Emma on the couch.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," Monica replied, sitting down on the couch. "How'd things go for you last night?''
"The room was on fire-"
"Wo-ow." Monica said teasingly.
"No, literally! The lamp set on fire!" She sighed. Monica made a face.
"Sorry. What about everything else?"
"Awful," Rachel moaned. "You're brother is the worst actor in the world! You know that time we saw Joey in the play where he was the shrink? The musical?" Monica winced and nodded. That had been a painful night. "Okay, well, multiply that by TWENTY and you have what happened last night. THEN Emma started crying, and since he was handcuffed to the bed, I had to go and get her. BIG mistake. While I was gone, he somehow got a hold of his cell phone when it rang. He had to go to the school to fix a mistyped grade he posted!"
"That bad?"
"Let's just say I have new respect for strippers," Rachel groaned. "What about you? How did the food go?"
"Well, we didn't quite do it," Monica said, her face turning pink. "I got all the stuff out and put it on me..."
"Yeah? And?"
"And then I got up to wash the sheets!" she cried desperately.
"Monica," Rachel admonished her. "You didn't have sex because you wanted to wash the sheets?"
"They had chocolate sauce all over them!" she said. "I had to get them out before it stained. And then Chandler said he wasn't in the mood anymore, the big sissy!"
"So we were a big hit last night," Rachel said sarcastically.
"Rach, is it just going to be impossible for us now? Are we never going to have hot, steamy, beginning of relationship sex again?" She said in a scared tone. Rachel stared off into space for a moment.
"I hope no! 'Cuz Ross used to do this one motion with his tongue where he would-"
"Rachel!" Monica scolded.
"Well, I'm sorry, but it's true! Ross is ABSOLUTLY good with the oral stuff." She said. "WE are failing Mon!" She whined.
"Yea, but it wasn't our fault! It was totally the men!"
"You're right!" Rachel exclaimed, causing poor Emma to jump. "It was totally them! They don't understand a thing about women. Emma, I want you to promise me that you will make you're man have sex with you whenever you want it, okay? Nod yes for Mommy." Rachel gently moved her daughter's head back and forth. "We should make them pay!"
"How?" Monica asked.
"Well..." Rachel began. She paused for a moment, and then snapped. "Let's not have sex for as long as possible! Make them beg for it!"
"Isn't that sort of like self-torture?" Monica asked doubtfully.
"We can always..... please ourselves!" Rachel said.
"It just doesn't seem worth it." Monica began.
"Oh, none of this is WORTH is Mon! Is it worth our time and energy and money to try and please THEM?" She asked. Monica shook her head. Rachel covered Emma's ears as if it would make a difference. "And believe me, make up sex is always the best, especially when they've gone for so long without the real thing. They'll be begging to please US for a change!"
"But how will we keep busy and focused? What will give us a goal?" Monica asked.
"I guess nothing." Rachel said after a moment, saddened that her idea didn't pan out as well as she'd wanted it to.
"Unless we put money on it!" Monica said excitedly.
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked with new interest.
"I bet you $100 that I can go longer without sex than you can," Monica said.
"Ha! With Chandler? No offense, Mon, but your husband is a sex addict," Rachel scoffed.
"So are you and Ross! Remember the beginning of your relationship? Hell, you guys did it even when you WEREN'T together!" she accused. "But I have my ways with Chandler. Come on, Rach. Whoever has sex first has to cough it up. Sort of like an incentive for us to torture them." She held out her hand.
"As crazy as this is - Monica Bing, you have a deal," Rachel said, shaking her friend's hand vigorously.
Let the games begin.
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End Of Chapter Two! We love you! We hope you are enjoying it! More soon!
Monica opened the door to her apartment the next day and was surprised to find it empty. Where was Chandler? She set her grocery bags on the kitchen table and saw a note on the fridge.
Mon,
Went to the movies with Joey. Be back around 7:00.
Chandler
Monica looked up at the clock. It was twenty to seven. She smiled - perfect. She had just the right amount of time to get ready. She quickly put the eggs and milk in the fridge. Then she went into the bedroom and pulled off her jeans, blouse, bra and undies. Out of the bag she'd brought into the bedroom she pulled a can of whipped cream. She sprayed whipped cream over her nipples and lower area, grinning at the tantalizing effect.
She inspected the other items in the bag. Chocolate sauce and maraschino cherries - she was going to be a human hot fudge sundae! She put the cherries in a bowl next to the bed and set out the chocolate sauce. Then she pulled the comforter off the bed and pulled the last item out of the bag. Trojan condoms- Her Pleasure.
Damn right, Monica thought triumphantly. It's all about 'her pleasure.'
She finished straightening up the room and lay on the bed, twisting her body in a seductive way. A few minutes later she heard the door open and shut.
"Monica?" Chandler called.
"In he-ere," she sing-songed. Chandler opened the door and his jaw dropped.
"Hey, baby.''
"Hell-ooo," he stammered. "What is all this?"
"Well, you said you would make up for last night," Monica said. "So get over here." Chandler stared at her for a few seconds longer before hurrying over to her and pulling off his shoes and unbuckling his pants.
Before he even got his pants off, Monica pulled him down onto the bed and quickly pulled his shirt off. They started kissing, and then Chandler moved his mouth down to her breasts, where he slowly sucked off the whipped cream. Monica shivered in delight, her loins growing warm.
But they weren't done yet. Monica remembered her need to spice things up. She took out the chocolate sauce and told Chandler to lie down on the bed with his eyes closed. He cocked his head but did as he was told. Slowly, Monica poured a stream of chocolate all over his body. She then climbed on top of him and licked it off, moving her tongue around in circles.
It was then that she realized some of the chocolate sauce and the whipped cream were on the sheets - her beautiful satin sheets. She tried to ignore it as he put chocolate sauce on her own body and pulled out the rest of the food. Chandler started kissing her neck again, and they climbed into the bed. Chandler pulled the comforter over them, and soon it was smeared with dark chocolate, whipped cream, and squished cherries. Just as she and Chandler were about to make love, Monica pushed the comforter away.
"Wait!" she cried in dismay. "It's too dirty! I just cleaned this!"
"Calm down! We can wash it later," Chandler said, pulling her back under the covers.
"No, the stains will set in. These are my good sheets! Get up!" she cried, preparing to strip the beds of it's linens
"Monica, if you didn't want to get your sheets dirty, why did you bring the food in here?'' Chandler asked, standing up and crossing his arms.
"Because... because I wanted to... oh, never mind!" Monica picked up all the sheets and hurried out to the living room, where there was a basket for dirty clothes.
"You have chocolate sauce on your butt!" Chandler called after her.
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Rachel set up the bedroom in as dim and seductive setting as she could. Red cloths over the lamps giving off a pink glow to the room, candles. She was going to get into his pants tonight. No matter what. She pulled out all of her lotions as she could; she even took out this stuff that she bought that with Monica. It was in a green jar, and it tasted wonderful and sweet. The point was to lick it off of one another, but she hoped that she could even get to that form of foreplay. With the way Ross was acting, she just didn't know anymore.
Rachel heard the keys jingling in the door. This was it, just about time for Ross to give up his lent and make love to her. She straightened her black teddy and leaned back on the bed. Rose pedals were everywhere. She listened.
"Rachel, where are you?" He said loud enough for her to hear. She smiled maliciously.
"In here, baby." She growled. Ross walked right pass the open door to the bedroom, then backtracked, his eyes widening as he peered in.
"Wh-what's all this?" He asked uncomfortably. Rachel got up onto her knees, motioning for him to enter.
"I thought we needed a little more, ahem, sex." She finished. Ross smiled awkwardly.
"Ah, Rach, you know how I feel about... objects." He finished. Rachel had forgotten how old-fashioned Ross was. He never used stuff in bed. (KY jelly, whips, food.) To him sex was a personal, loving thing. She brushed it off.
"Stop being a pussy and screw me." She said flatly. Ross' jaw dropped.
"Oh, I love it when you're naughty." He said in the same tone. Both were getting more annoyed than aroused. Ross set his briefcase down.
"Well?" She asked, trying again to set the mood. "Is this doing anything for you?" She asked as she rubbed her stomach and neck sexily, She began to lick her fingers and flipped her hair like something out of "Baywatch". Ross looked at her sweetly.
"Honey, you don't need to go all out and stuff to get me motivated. All I need is you." He said pulling her near him. She smiled and kissed him gently.
"Shut up and let's do it." She said in a dominating manner, pulling him to the bed. Rachel sat on her knees towards Ross' feet and straddled his legs. Ross smiled as he took her arms and pulled her down on top of him. Things were getting heated as Rachel took one of his hands without him noticing, and pulled it to the pole of the bed, where she hand cuffed him. Ross stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes.
"Please tell me you did NOT just do that." He said simply. Rachel smiled.
"But Ross, you've been such a BAD boy." She smiled, taking his other hand and placing it on her breast, moving it around for him since he wasn't.
"Okay, let me go." He said a bit annoyed, motioning with his free hand towards the pole. Rachel shook her head.
"But then you would be free, and I am in charge here as-" She lifted her leg revealing a garter belt with a badge attached. "Detective Lovett" She said softly, letting the words just roll off of her tongue. She looked at him. He looked confused. "Can you at least play along?" She whispered. He stuttered, and she climbed off of him. "If you don't, I will leave you here, like this, and I go over to Joey's and-"
"Rachel, wait!" He started.
"Seriously, Ross, I WANT IT! If you don't give it to me I will find someone who will and Joey-"
"I HAVE been a bad boy!" He said loudly. "A very VERY BAD boy!" Rachel started laughing.
"That's the best you can do?" She asked. Ross shrugged absently. "Okay." She climbed back on top of him opening his shirt and licking down his stomach. She got his pants off to where he was only in his boxers with his work shirt wide open, and was about to get her groove on. Ross stopped her.
"Rach, it's hot in here." He said simply.
"Hell yea it is." She said continuing.
"No, Rachel! The lamp is on fire!" He yelled. Rachel hurried over to the lamp where the red cloth had been over the lamp and began patting at it with a towel. Finally, she got it out, and then ran over to the other one to get the cloth off just in case. She sat on the end of the bed, when a shrill yelling came from the other room. Both looked at one another simultaneously.
"That would be Emma." He said, gasping for air. Rachel sighed.
"I'll get her." She sighed. She took one last look at Ross before leaving the room.
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Monica walked sluggishly into Rachel and Ross's apartment. Rachel was feeding Emma on the couch.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," Monica replied, sitting down on the couch. "How'd things go for you last night?''
"The room was on fire-"
"Wo-ow." Monica said teasingly.
"No, literally! The lamp set on fire!" She sighed. Monica made a face.
"Sorry. What about everything else?"
"Awful," Rachel moaned. "You're brother is the worst actor in the world! You know that time we saw Joey in the play where he was the shrink? The musical?" Monica winced and nodded. That had been a painful night. "Okay, well, multiply that by TWENTY and you have what happened last night. THEN Emma started crying, and since he was handcuffed to the bed, I had to go and get her. BIG mistake. While I was gone, he somehow got a hold of his cell phone when it rang. He had to go to the school to fix a mistyped grade he posted!"
"That bad?"
"Let's just say I have new respect for strippers," Rachel groaned. "What about you? How did the food go?"
"Well, we didn't quite do it," Monica said, her face turning pink. "I got all the stuff out and put it on me..."
"Yeah? And?"
"And then I got up to wash the sheets!" she cried desperately.
"Monica," Rachel admonished her. "You didn't have sex because you wanted to wash the sheets?"
"They had chocolate sauce all over them!" she said. "I had to get them out before it stained. And then Chandler said he wasn't in the mood anymore, the big sissy!"
"So we were a big hit last night," Rachel said sarcastically.
"Rach, is it just going to be impossible for us now? Are we never going to have hot, steamy, beginning of relationship sex again?" She said in a scared tone. Rachel stared off into space for a moment.
"I hope no! 'Cuz Ross used to do this one motion with his tongue where he would-"
"Rachel!" Monica scolded.
"Well, I'm sorry, but it's true! Ross is ABSOLUTLY good with the oral stuff." She said. "WE are failing Mon!" She whined.
"Yea, but it wasn't our fault! It was totally the men!"
"You're right!" Rachel exclaimed, causing poor Emma to jump. "It was totally them! They don't understand a thing about women. Emma, I want you to promise me that you will make you're man have sex with you whenever you want it, okay? Nod yes for Mommy." Rachel gently moved her daughter's head back and forth. "We should make them pay!"
"How?" Monica asked.
"Well..." Rachel began. She paused for a moment, and then snapped. "Let's not have sex for as long as possible! Make them beg for it!"
"Isn't that sort of like self-torture?" Monica asked doubtfully.
"We can always..... please ourselves!" Rachel said.
"It just doesn't seem worth it." Monica began.
"Oh, none of this is WORTH is Mon! Is it worth our time and energy and money to try and please THEM?" She asked. Monica shook her head. Rachel covered Emma's ears as if it would make a difference. "And believe me, make up sex is always the best, especially when they've gone for so long without the real thing. They'll be begging to please US for a change!"
"But how will we keep busy and focused? What will give us a goal?" Monica asked.
"I guess nothing." Rachel said after a moment, saddened that her idea didn't pan out as well as she'd wanted it to.
"Unless we put money on it!" Monica said excitedly.
"What do you mean?" Rachel asked with new interest.
"I bet you $100 that I can go longer without sex than you can," Monica said.
"Ha! With Chandler? No offense, Mon, but your husband is a sex addict," Rachel scoffed.
"So are you and Ross! Remember the beginning of your relationship? Hell, you guys did it even when you WEREN'T together!" she accused. "But I have my ways with Chandler. Come on, Rach. Whoever has sex first has to cough it up. Sort of like an incentive for us to torture them." She held out her hand.
"As crazy as this is - Monica Bing, you have a deal," Rachel said, shaking her friend's hand vigorously.
Let the games begin.
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End Of Chapter Two! We love you! We hope you are enjoying it! More soon!
