The Dry Spell
(a/n: Okay, Two chicks TOTALLY undermined this fic, so, Jenni and I have some things to say : ) : (Don't you love that?) Jenni: To our two less-then-loving reviewers (you know who you are): We're sorry that this fic "isn't believable" or "pretty messed up" or (and I'm sure all our avid readers will scream) "BOOOORING" - but you're right on one thing... it's "just a story." It's not supposed to be believable, and it's not supposed to be orthodox. So if you don't like this fic, you may tell us so in a POLITE review - that is, if you really do respect us. Or, better yet, just don't read it at all! And to our readers who like this fic - thank you! We love you two! *mwah*
Elizabeth: First of all, if you are too immature to handle that, please leave now. LOL. Second of all, the point of reviewing is for compliments and constructive criticism. Telling us that the fic is messed up and boring REALLY isn't the way to HELP the fic, now is it? We respect ALL of the readers, and we love you all who have read along and laughed with us, (Because hell, it was a blast to write.) But please, if you are going to be rude, just stop reading the fic and move on. We really don't want to hear it. Oh, and Courtney, yea, It's an A/U fic, it's NOT REAL! LOL:
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((((((((((( (((((((((((((((((9
Chandler woke up the next morning more frustrated than before. For all he knew, Ross had already gotten some and more last night. He found a note from Monica taped to his hand (she'd started doing that since he'd lost four notes in a row).
"Chandler- Went to get coffee with the girls, be back soon. Love, Me"
Well, little did Chandler know, Monica had to go shopping to calm down her raging hormones. He reluctantly crawled out of bed and yawned, then smiled and pulled the note off his head. Since it was only 7:00 am and Rachel was with Mon, it calmed him down. Rachel and Ross couldn't have spent all night having sex if she were up that early.
He went to the closet and opened it, looking for a pair of pants to wear. Chandler pulled out a shirt, a pair of pants, and his tan shoes. His hands were so full, he dropped one of his shoes, and it disappeared under the bed. Grumbling to himself, Chandler bent down to pick it up. While looking under the bed, something caught his hand. It felt like a.........cucumber? He picked it up and studied it, not knowing what it was. "ARRGG!!!" He screamed. He hurried out to Joey who was in the kitchen. Joey turned around with bed head and his eyes widened. He began to laugh hysterically. "Joey! What the HELL is this?!"
"It's... it's... it's...." He gasped for air. "MONICA'S VIBRATOR!" He finally yelled before he lost his breath again. Chandler looked at the smooth object in his hand.
"AARGH!" Chandler screamed again, spontaneously throwing the vibrator away from himself.
Right at that moment, Ross entered the apartment. He had just entered when an object was hurled toward him. Not knowing what it was at first, he caught it. He looked down and screamed in the most girlish scream ever heard! He hurled it back at Chandler, who fumbled over it, throwing it to Joey. Joey threw it back to Chandler, and Chandler threw it toward Ross, who had collapsed into a nearby kitchen chair. It hit Ross in the forehead and bounced into his lap, where he stared at it for a long time.
"Get... it... off...me," he whispered, as though it were some kind of tarantula instead of merely the device his little sister used to please herself.. "Chandler!" he screamed. The room grew loud as Joey continued to laugh his butt off, eventually falling onto the floor, unable to contain himself. . Chandler ran into the kitchen to find something to pick it up with. He looked towards the counter for some paper towels.
"Where the hell are the paper towels when you need em?" He screamed. He grabbed the tongs out of the drawer. Then he went back to Ross, who looked completely terrified at the vibrator in his lap. Chandler picked up the vibrator with the tongs and held it at an arms length. Joey was still on the floor; laughing so hard he was close to wetting his pants.
Chandler scrambled for something to put the vibrator in. He finally found a Ziploc baggie and opened it with his teeth. He was in the process of putting the baggie when the door opened, and Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Emma walked in. Ross was at the sink washing his hands with lots of soap.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?" Monica screamed. She ran over and grabbed the Ziploc baggie from Chandler's hands. Chandler and Ross stared at her, open-mouthed.
"Do you USE this?" Chandler asked.
"OH! That's the new 7-100! I sooo need an upgrade!" Rachel sighed. Ross shot Rachel an unbelievable look.
"What?!" Ross yelled. Joey continued to laugh, in fact, he ran to the bathroom to keep from peeing his pants. Monica turned bright red and ran from the room.
"I think I have some sort of coupon for Doctor Do-me-a-little's Sex Prop store," Phoebe said, rummaging in her purse. Ross watched them, his eyes widening. Her hurried over to Rachel.
"Uh, Rach-" He said trying to stop her. Phoebe pulled the piece of paper out and handed it to Rachel.
"Ooh, thanks!" Rachel said. Ross took it from her.
"N-n-no." Ross said folding the paper. "You don't need that, Rach." He coaxed. Rachel smiled evilly at him and grabbed the coupon from him.
"Oh yea?" She asked as she shoved it into her purse. Ross tried to get it back and both started bickering, adding to the noise.
"Well, I'm glad everyone enjoyed the show!" Chandler said, running after Monica who hurried to lock herself in her room.
Jenni and Elizabeth
(a/n: Okay, Two chicks TOTALLY undermined this fic, so, Jenni and I have some things to say : ) : (Don't you love that?) Jenni: To our two less-then-loving reviewers (you know who you are): We're sorry that this fic "isn't believable" or "pretty messed up" or (and I'm sure all our avid readers will scream) "BOOOORING" - but you're right on one thing... it's "just a story." It's not supposed to be believable, and it's not supposed to be orthodox. So if you don't like this fic, you may tell us so in a POLITE review - that is, if you really do respect us. Or, better yet, just don't read it at all! And to our readers who like this fic - thank you! We love you two! *mwah*
Elizabeth: First of all, if you are too immature to handle that, please leave now. LOL. Second of all, the point of reviewing is for compliments and constructive criticism. Telling us that the fic is messed up and boring REALLY isn't the way to HELP the fic, now is it? We respect ALL of the readers, and we love you all who have read along and laughed with us, (Because hell, it was a blast to write.) But please, if you are going to be rude, just stop reading the fic and move on. We really don't want to hear it. Oh, and Courtney, yea, It's an A/U fic, it's NOT REAL! LOL:
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((((((((((((((( (((((((((((((((((9
Chandler woke up the next morning more frustrated than before. For all he knew, Ross had already gotten some and more last night. He found a note from Monica taped to his hand (she'd started doing that since he'd lost four notes in a row).
"Chandler- Went to get coffee with the girls, be back soon. Love, Me"
Well, little did Chandler know, Monica had to go shopping to calm down her raging hormones. He reluctantly crawled out of bed and yawned, then smiled and pulled the note off his head. Since it was only 7:00 am and Rachel was with Mon, it calmed him down. Rachel and Ross couldn't have spent all night having sex if she were up that early.
He went to the closet and opened it, looking for a pair of pants to wear. Chandler pulled out a shirt, a pair of pants, and his tan shoes. His hands were so full, he dropped one of his shoes, and it disappeared under the bed. Grumbling to himself, Chandler bent down to pick it up. While looking under the bed, something caught his hand. It felt like a.........cucumber? He picked it up and studied it, not knowing what it was. "ARRGG!!!" He screamed. He hurried out to Joey who was in the kitchen. Joey turned around with bed head and his eyes widened. He began to laugh hysterically. "Joey! What the HELL is this?!"
"It's... it's... it's...." He gasped for air. "MONICA'S VIBRATOR!" He finally yelled before he lost his breath again. Chandler looked at the smooth object in his hand.
"AARGH!" Chandler screamed again, spontaneously throwing the vibrator away from himself.
Right at that moment, Ross entered the apartment. He had just entered when an object was hurled toward him. Not knowing what it was at first, he caught it. He looked down and screamed in the most girlish scream ever heard! He hurled it back at Chandler, who fumbled over it, throwing it to Joey. Joey threw it back to Chandler, and Chandler threw it toward Ross, who had collapsed into a nearby kitchen chair. It hit Ross in the forehead and bounced into his lap, where he stared at it for a long time.
"Get... it... off...me," he whispered, as though it were some kind of tarantula instead of merely the device his little sister used to please herself.. "Chandler!" he screamed. The room grew loud as Joey continued to laugh his butt off, eventually falling onto the floor, unable to contain himself. . Chandler ran into the kitchen to find something to pick it up with. He looked towards the counter for some paper towels.
"Where the hell are the paper towels when you need em?" He screamed. He grabbed the tongs out of the drawer. Then he went back to Ross, who looked completely terrified at the vibrator in his lap. Chandler picked up the vibrator with the tongs and held it at an arms length. Joey was still on the floor; laughing so hard he was close to wetting his pants.
Chandler scrambled for something to put the vibrator in. He finally found a Ziploc baggie and opened it with his teeth. He was in the process of putting the baggie when the door opened, and Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Emma walked in. Ross was at the sink washing his hands with lots of soap.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?" Monica screamed. She ran over and grabbed the Ziploc baggie from Chandler's hands. Chandler and Ross stared at her, open-mouthed.
"Do you USE this?" Chandler asked.
"OH! That's the new 7-100! I sooo need an upgrade!" Rachel sighed. Ross shot Rachel an unbelievable look.
"What?!" Ross yelled. Joey continued to laugh, in fact, he ran to the bathroom to keep from peeing his pants. Monica turned bright red and ran from the room.
"I think I have some sort of coupon for Doctor Do-me-a-little's Sex Prop store," Phoebe said, rummaging in her purse. Ross watched them, his eyes widening. Her hurried over to Rachel.
"Uh, Rach-" He said trying to stop her. Phoebe pulled the piece of paper out and handed it to Rachel.
"Ooh, thanks!" Rachel said. Ross took it from her.
"N-n-no." Ross said folding the paper. "You don't need that, Rach." He coaxed. Rachel smiled evilly at him and grabbed the coupon from him.
"Oh yea?" She asked as she shoved it into her purse. Ross tried to get it back and both started bickering, adding to the noise.
"Well, I'm glad everyone enjoyed the show!" Chandler said, running after Monica who hurried to lock herself in her room.
Jenni and Elizabeth
