Tip-Toe Through the Tulips
ButtMunch sat on a lawn chair next to the sewage treatment plant/summer resort spa's "pool." (Makes ya' wonder what was in that pool don't it?) ButtMunch was just about to doze off, trying to forget the events of the previous night. Right before he went off into Lala-Land, he heard an airplane zooming about overhead.
[ButtMunch: De hell is dat!?!
ButtMunch looked up and saw his life-long "buddy" Billy B. Billingsworth, a.k.a. Toots the 3-Buttcheeked Skunk, going completely out of control! Which was normal, but this time his plane was going out of control! ButtMunch jumped up on his feet in shock.
[ButtMunch: Da hell you doin', Toots!? You gon' crash again, boy!!! (Pauses and looks around for a few moments, then adds disinterestedly.) ........Ah!
And like ButtMunch said, Toots crashed right in the beach!
[ButtMunch: (Winces and covers his beady little eyes.) Geez! Dat can't be goofoya'! (Goofoya': That means "good for you!" in ButtMunch language. Get used to seeing that. It's his patented catch phrase.) Damn, Toots, how many times we gotta' do dis? You get hurt and I gotta' go save ya! I swea'h one of dese days you gonna' get hurt I ainta' gonna' go save you!! ...But today ain't 'dat day. HOL' ON DERE TOOTS, I'MA COMMIN'!!
ButtMunch dashed off at a surprisingly great speed towards Toots' landing sight! Now, retrieving Toots would have been an easy task, but seeing how the whole beach was filled with ButtMunch's arch nemesis' Dr. Rorumpnik's robot henchmen, like Kinkie the mentally-challenged primate, it was a tad more difficult! After dodging some of the many death traps, ButtMunch came across a very long bridge. ButtMunch strolled on it for a few minutes 'til suddenly a GIANT turd with a mind of its own burst through the bridge behind ButtMunch! (Remember that the beach was right beside the sewage treatment plant, of course!) ButtMunch ran for his fat little life! Right when ButtMunch was just about to reach the end of the bridge, the giant aquatic turd collapsed due to lack of poo-water! ButtMunch looked over the turd's corpse.
[ButtMunch: Heh heh heh! I was too much for him!
ButtMunch pointed his chunky little fingers down at the turd.
[ButtMunch: And don't come back or you'll get worse, ya' hear!?
ButtMunch hopped off the bridge and came across a lighthouse.... guarded by a guillotine! That's right, a guillotine! ButtMunch knew he'd have to time his actions just right to prevent from being cut through like butter by the blade of the guillotine! He sat watching its movement, up and down, over and over. Then, while the blade was still up, he dashed under it. Unfortunately, ButtMunch didn't run at just the right time and was cut in half by the guillotine! (un)Fortunately he wasn't killed, instead he just dropped all the "magical rings" he was holding with him! ButtMunch pondered.
[ButtMunch: Hmm... It appears dat dese here rings are some sorta' forcefield!
But before he could think any more, ButtMunch noticed that the rings apparently didn't like him and were disappearing! ButtMunch tried to get them back, but they had all disappeared before he had a chance! He was a bit angry but he kept on going. (Luckily dodging the guillotine this time!) ButtMunch then literally ran up the lighthouse, quite confident that he wouldn't get hit until suddenly he was hit with one of Kinkie the Mentally-Challenged Primate's crap grenades! ButtMunch hurtled downward and the theory of "fat floats" didn't apply for him- (Why not? No other laws of physics apply in his world.) -and he drowned like a rat! But, apparently, ButtMunch had more than just one life and he was transported back in front of the lighthouse! ButtMunch ran up it with no problem. So, long story short, ButtMunch did some more gravity-defying stunts 'til finally he found Toots, who was already fully conscious now and on his way back.
So, ButtMunch and Toots were together again. Unfortunately, they had to go back through the death traps to get back to Square Station! Let's just skip ahead, shall we? ButtMunch and Toots were now back at the sewage treatment plant.
[ButtMunch: Dammit, Toots, what was up witchu an' dat plane!? Did ya'll get in a fight with it again?
[Toots: (Albino skunk that very closely resembles Tails, save for one skunk tail, three pink, bulbous IR Baboon-esque buttcheeks, a leather jacket, and red eyes.) YES!! But that's not all! I always thought that @#$*in' piece o' crap went too slow so I was tryin' to boost the damn thing's speed with this new fuel source I found! It was pretty experimental and it still had some bugs to work out; and while during a test flight, wouldn't ya' know it: A RAT GOT STUCK IN THE ENGINE!!
[ButtMunch: DAMN, BOY!! You was goin' light speed! What kinda' tripped out gas you usin'!?! ...An' how da hell did a rat get stuck in da plane's engine while it was in flight?
[Toots: ...Beats me, and it wasn't necessarily a gas as it is... THIS!!
Toots pulled out a red Chaos Chrystal.
[Toots: Mmeeeh!
ButtMunch stepped back in shock.
[ButtMunch: HOLY SHIT!! Dat's a Chaos Chrystal!!
[Toots: No duh, fatso! I just HAPPENED to find one of the RARE and ELUSIVE Chaos Chrystals one day! It's quite a rush when it's used for fuel!
[ButtMunch: Yeah well dat's great 'n' all, but just you just rememba' one thing... KEEP YO' DAMN ROBOT-BUILDIN' MITTS OFFA' MAH HOOPTIE!!!
[Toots: ...Whatever... Come on down to my workshop in the Ancient Ruins sometime, we'll talk business! Seeya!
And with that Toots buggered off towards the Ancient Ruins. (That's all for today, my free-rotating skanky-boys! Stay tuned for Chapter 3! Or I'll come for you...)
