Why Does the Sun Shine?
There is total blackness, then we hear an old fart's voice.
[Geezer: How did I get in a stink hole like Pittsburgh? Well let me tell ya'!
A floating island appears with an incredibly large Chaos Chrystal with a small creature sleeping beside it. (It looks like Knuckles the Echidna but really old, scrawny, and orange; and only 4 quills on his head due to "balding". Long, skinny arms that go past his knees and huge bulky two-fingered mitts. And let's not forget his "sexy" black underwear! This... was Knutz the Enema!)
[Knutz (voice over): Ever since I was born (which was about the time dirt was invented!) I've been on this here floatin' island, protecting the Master Nut!
He was obviously referring to the giant Chaos Chrystal behind him which was clearly not a nut of any kind, but remember, Knutz was crazed with senility!
[Knutz (voice over again, from now on I'm gonna' stop saying this over and over): I had already hit the hay-
Shows a clip of Knutz pounding the crap out of a bale of hay while "Turkey in the Straw" plays in the background.
[Knutz: -Then gone to sleep at my scheduled bed time of 6:00 pm! But, at around midnight, something strange happened!
We now see the Master "Nut" cracking! Suddenly, Knutz's eyes popped open.
[Knutz: I started to hear a loud cracking noice! And this time it wasn't my osteoporosis!!
Knutz turns around to see that the Master "Nut" is in tatters! Suddenly, it explodes and ol' Defication hopped out!
[Knutz: For once I wasn't hallucinating! I actually saw an evil pee-pee monster!
[Knutz (Not a voice over, but actually speaking): What the hell are you supposed to be!?!
[Defication: ...........
[Knutz: Say sumthin', ya' brat!
[Defication: ...........
Knutz pounded his fists together.
[Knutz: Okay then, ain't gonna' speak eh? Well I guess I'll have to beat your non-existant little pissy ass!
Knutz charged forward and slugged Defication right in the "gut". But unfortunately, his fist just went straight through him! Defication glared down at Knutz, then grabbed the old fool by the dome and slung him about 10 yards away! Knutz rubbed his head.
[Knutz: Dammit that hurt, ya' brat!
Knutz got up.
[Knutz: Okay, okay, now you're gonna' get it!
Knutz ran forward, flailing his mitts in a windmill fashion. Sudddenly, Defication disappeared in a flash of light! After this, Knutz' floating island, Senility Isle, started vibrating.
[Knutz: Oh shit! Without the Master Nut, Senility Isle won't float!
Suddenly, Senility Isle plummeted like a rock, then suddenly stopped, repositioned itself, and landed perfectly right beside Pittsburgh! (Causing a tidal wave that wiped out half the population, but no one really cared since it was Pittsburgh, after all)
[Knutz (voice over again): And that's how I got here! Lucky for me all the shattered pieces of the Master Nut conveniently landed safely here in Pittsburgh! And it's up to me to get them back! But for now...
We see Knutz at a Taco Bell!
[Knutz: I'd like some nuts, a cheeseburger without cheese, and a Pepsi! And don't gimme' no diet crap!
[Pimply teen: Hey, you old geez! This is Taco Bell we don't serve nuts or burgers here!
[Knutz: Shut your oily face and make me some grub, ya' brat!!
[Pimply teen: Like hell I will! All you furries are the same! You all think you run the world!
[Knutz: Yep, pretty much. Now make with the junk food ya' bastard!
Knutz is now kicked out of Taco Bell. Knutz looks back at it!
[Knutz: You may have won the battle, but the war's not over yet... Taco Bell!!!
