AN: I'm sorry I took so long! It took 'bout a month or five. It's not easy
sharing ONE computer with three sisters, especially when your parents allow
you to go on a couple of days in a month. *sighs* They tell me all this
crap that the computer's not good for you, sumthin' about cancer. *pouts*
Buy me a laptop, please!
Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? *sees crowd of authors who had to put disclaimers holding pitchforks and torches* Okay, *backs away nervously* I don't own CCS or Syaoran. *crowd ceases* Yet.
Finding Heart's Way By: Keri (aka Li Blossom)
Chapter 4: Emotion is Weakness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At lunch, Sakura sat down under a maple tree. It wasn't a cherry blossom tree, but it could do. She watched some clouds in the sky seeing his face in everyone. She began thinking about the kiss, but then mentally kicked herself. "Damn you, Li."
'Just leave me alone.' She thought angrily, as Syaoran's sexy face appeared in her mind. She crushed her sandwich in disgust.
She stretched out on the grass staring at the sky, her arms crossed under her head. She tried to distract herself, but there in one of the clouds was Syaoran's face. She swore it winked at her. "Haven't you done enough damage?" She yelled at the cloud.
Some people who were close enough to hear her quickly left, to be out of range incase she needed to unleash her frustration.
Sakura pulled out a bag of chips and tried to think straight. 'How am I suppose to get him to get the hell out of my life? Kill him?'
She thought about that, long and seriously. There had been many times she had dreamt about driving a dagger through his cold black heart. In her mind, she drew a picture of fiery cremating him while he was still alive. Yes, violence was a very nice way to solve her problems. She blinked. 'Oh god, what am I saying? I'm becoming a bloodthirsty monstrous beast.'
She shuddered at that thought, even though the thought of homicide was very tempting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unknown to her, Syaoran was in the tree watching her every move. He stared longingly at her lips. Then he yelled at himself. 'STOP IT! She has the cards! She's the enemy!'
Yet, he continued staring at her longingly, slipping into a daydream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh Syaoran, Honey, where are you?" called a voice not too far away, "Hey, you better not be avoiding me!"
'Now there's someone I wouldn't feel guilty murdering.' Sakura thought while picking up her lunch and lifting herself onto a low branch.
Syaoran who was off in some daydream about a certain auburn haired girl didn't notice the noise.
As Sakura climbed higher she noticed someone sitting in the shadows on a branch not that far away. 'Who's that?'
She reached for the branch and quietly climbed up. Syaoran felt the branch move slightly and snapped out of his daydream.
"Kisama! {You!}" Sakura yelled as she saw him.
Syaoran almost fell out of the tree in shook. He quickly stood up and faced her. He turned bright red. 'Great now she'll think I was spying on her.'
"Why are you spying on me?" Sakura asked suspiciously giving him an icy glare.
"I was.uh. you see.well," Syaoran stuttered. 'Say something you idiot!' His mind screamed, "uh. can't a guy climb a tree now and then?"
He mentally slapped himself, 'Climb a tree? Climb a tree? Way beyond lame, Syaoran.'
"Don't give me that crap," Sakura said lighting a cigarette, "I'm not that stupid."
"You shouldn't be smoking," Syaoran said trying to change the topic. His intense glare reflected hers.
"Like I give a damn," Sakura said blowing smoke into his face, "This is the only pleasure I have in life, now that everything else is gone. What's the point of living a few extra years anyway?"
"You know, your attitude sure changed, Kinomoto. I thought you'd keep on being Little Miss Perfect, with your perfect smile and perky little attitude trying to brighten the streets of Hong Kong."
"That Sakura died a long time ago," Sakura threw her cigarette on the grass, not caring if it caused a fire, "We cremated her perfect ass."
She gave him the finger.
"You really know how to turn a guy on," Syaoran said with an amused smirk.
"I noticed during P.E." Sakura said still glaring at him.
"So you can't stop thinking about it, either." Syaoran said in a husky voice clearly teasing her, "The cherry lip gloss was a nice touch."
"Does your bitch let you flirt with other girls?" She asked.
"Only if she doesn't know," Syaoran said pressing her against the tree trunk.
He looked down at her, (AN: I'm making him like a head taller than her.) his eyes searching hers for any emotion at all, even fear, anything to tell him that she was human.
She looked down trying to avoid his intense gaze, but he cupped his hand under her chin and made her face him. She spat at him. He wiped it off, but didn't release his hold on.
"What the hell do you want?!" Sakura yelled. She told herself to kill him, but her body wasn't cooperating, "Let go of me or I'll have Arrow send fifty arrows into your back."
He examined her face as if she were as if she had changed so much that he had to make sure she wasn't an imposter. It was still the beautiful silky white skin, and gorgeous emerald eyes, with long thick lashes. Her pretty nose was still small and pointed up and her lips were as red as cherries, just as he remembered her, but something wasn't right. He could see a dent in her soul.
Syaoran smiled, not one of amusement, but one of remorse, "Did 'I' do this to you?"
Sakura looked at him, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, "Don't be so modest."
Syaoran remained silent, feeling a pang of guilt and something else.
"Please don't do that," he said softly wiping a tear off her cheek. He tried to pull her closer.
"Just get away from me," Sakura yelled, pushing him away, "I don't want you anymore." (AN: What'd she mean by that? ^.-)
He unwilling moved away.
An awkward silence fell over them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hasing ran furiously through the school campus.
'Where the hell is he?' she thought angrily. Lunch was almost half over and she hadn't seen him. She needed to yell at him.
Tomoyo was trying to keep up with Hasing.
"Slow down!" she said panting.
Hasing stopped and asked a small crowd, "Have any of you seen the bitch, Sakura?"
Everyone shook their heads, even the ones who saw her climb up the tree. Sakura wasn't a person to mess with.
Hasing stocked off.
"Why'd you ask for Kinomoto?" Tomoyo asked her, walking beside her.
"I have a bad feeling that he's with that whore," she said coldly. She could feel Syaoran's aura flare. That only happened when he was angry, nervous, or aroused. (AN: Hehe, I just had to put that in.) It had better not be the last one.
Hasing began ranting about how she would kill Kinomoto if she ever made a move on Syaoran, and vice-versa. Tomoyo fell back and quietly slipped away from Hasing. She went to look for Eriol. She found him flirting with a group of girls.
"What were you doing?" she asked while pulling him away by the ear.
"Ow. I was just being polite," He said rubbing his ear, "they we very nice." He added smiling.
Tomoyo hit the side of his head.
"I found out very interesting things about our Kinomoto."
Tomoyo sighed irritated, "I don't want to talk about her."
For some reason she just could not bring herself to talk bad about Sakura.
'Why'
~2 years ago~
~~Tomoyo~~
Hasing laughed loudly practically falling off of the couch. We had been watching one of the videos of the old card capturing days. Syaoran had switched with Kero.
The whole gang was there, well the ones who new about the cards. From the day Hasing came, I knew there was something about her. I didn't know what, but I felt I could trust her, so did everybody else.
Syaoran was sitting on the couch next to Hasing, Sakura was sitting on the floor and I was sitting next to Eriol in the love seat, busy video taping them.
I focused on how Syaoran was staring at Sakura, not the television. I knew he still loved her. Why didn't he ever tell her? Rejection?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hasing notice that too. I knew that she wanted Syaoran, too. I felt sorry for her. It took me forever to realize Sakura never loved me as more than a friend, I got over it. (AN: Yes, in the series I thought Tomoyo was in love with Sakura. If you don't like that thought, then get over it. 0_c) Now I had Eriol.
Suddenly, I despised Sakura. I hated her for everything. I hated her for not loving me, for causing Syaoran to forever worship her from afar, for taking away Hasing's chance to be with Syaoran, for having Eriol love her more than me, for having a father.
"Sakura-chan, can I talk to you?" I said, keeping my voice chirpy.
"Yeah, Tomoyo-chan?" she asked, when we were safely in the next room.
"Get out!" I blurted out.
She looked confused and hurt.
"Why?"
"Get out!" I repeated, raising my voice.
I never raised my voice at her. She looked into my eyes and could see that I meant it.
I remembered her running out with her head buried into her hands. I laughed at her inside. When Syaoran asked where Sakura went, I said Touya called and told her to go home.
The next day, I burned everything that remotely reminded me of Sakura. I was to first one to turn on her. It wasn't long before the rest of us did.
~~~~~~~Tomoyo~~~~~~~
Why am I thinking about it now? God, I have a terrible headache.
"Did you listen to a word I was saying?" he asked noticing my spacing out.
"ah- uh" I smiled innocently, "uh-no."
Eriol sighed and gave her a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Syaoran didn't make a move to leave. Neither did Sakura. They stood staring at each other. Her eyes were becoming more watery and tears ran down her cheeks.
"Why are you crying then?" Syaoran asked softly.
She hugged herself and turned away, unable to face him.
"If you didn't have any feeling for me, then you would have left already."
Everything was silent. Then she turned around to face him, her eyes blazing with anger.
"It's because you hurt me! You and Tomoyo and Eriol and everyone else, even Rika, who spent every living moment with Sensei, took time to push me away! Well, I don't need any of you! Go back to hell and leave me alone. I'm done mourning. Don't dig up the past."
He watched her with wonder and astonishment. She took a long breath and continued in a small almost unheard voice. This time she stared down at the lines in the tree.
"Yes, I loved you. I loved you. The real kind, not the he's cute or I like that guy kind of way. Just looking at you, I was in heaven. Now your face makes me sick. I used to dream about you and me. Walks through the park, hand in hand. Cuddles on a rainy day. Stray kisses just because. When I came here, every time I thought of you, became what are you and Hasing doing, sitting under our tree, making out while you should be studing, dancing under the stars while no music played, or sharing a bed."
"I never slept with her!" he snapped. Her words cut through him like a sword.
"I don't care, anymore. You mean nothing to me. Make love with her, kiss her under the Sakura tree, make out under the stars. You mean nothing to me. I don't want your tight as hell ass, after all you've done to me, all I want is peace. Let me live life here as I've made it. I don't love you, I won't." she laughed, "I've become you."
He looked at her, tiny tear droplets forming at the edge of his eyes. "but I changed."
"for a little while." she added her eyes, swollen from crying, "Your caress, touch, or kiss won't fix what you did. Nothing will, I won't forgive you."
"Hasi-"
"Don't blame her. It was you who gave into her advances, you who helped her ruin my life."
He watched sadly as she began to leave. Then he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. Sakura squeaked in surprise, almost falling off the branch. (AN: Remember this is a tree.)
Syaoran captured her lips in his. She moaned as his tongue explored her mouth. She could taste her own salty tears. He pulled her closer, pressing her body against his. He twined a strand of her golden hair around his finger.
Her mind was in a scramble of mixed emotions. Her thoughts became unclear and foggy. She could feel his aura flare in waves of strength and warmth, trying to reach out. In the distance the lunch bell rung, telling them to come in. They stayed there.
Syaoran ran a finger down her back, causing a shiver down her spine. He moved from her lips to her neck. She giggled as he began gently kissing it. She played with his hair, for the first time realizing how she missed his distinctive scent.
Out of all things, she began thinking about something he said when they were young, when they had barely known each other. "Emotion is the key to weakness, Kinomoto."
Sakura's eyes became cloudy, what if this was part of the plan?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HELP LOST STORY
I'M LOOKING FOR A STORY. I DON'T KNOW THE TITLE OR THE AUTHOR. IT'S ABOUT SYAORAN BEING ACCUSED OF TRYING TO KILL SAKURA. SOMEONE ELSE REALLY IS TRYING TO KILL HER AND HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY. HIS MOTHER WAS KILLED. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I've been trying to find the story forever. It isn't finished, I don't think, and I really want to find it. *sweatdrop* I'm so stupid. If you, for some miracle, know what story I'm talking about. PLEASE! Tell me the title or author. PLEAZ!
AN: So, how'd you like my story? REVIEW!
I'm an author who believes in twists. I'm an all out, closed-minded S+S fan, but I also believe in twists. I'm not one of those 'and they lived happily ever after. I'm telling you, please don't flame me! (for my later chapters.)
Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? *sees crowd of authors who had to put disclaimers holding pitchforks and torches* Okay, *backs away nervously* I don't own CCS or Syaoran. *crowd ceases* Yet.
Finding Heart's Way By: Keri (aka Li Blossom)
Chapter 4: Emotion is Weakness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At lunch, Sakura sat down under a maple tree. It wasn't a cherry blossom tree, but it could do. She watched some clouds in the sky seeing his face in everyone. She began thinking about the kiss, but then mentally kicked herself. "Damn you, Li."
'Just leave me alone.' She thought angrily, as Syaoran's sexy face appeared in her mind. She crushed her sandwich in disgust.
She stretched out on the grass staring at the sky, her arms crossed under her head. She tried to distract herself, but there in one of the clouds was Syaoran's face. She swore it winked at her. "Haven't you done enough damage?" She yelled at the cloud.
Some people who were close enough to hear her quickly left, to be out of range incase she needed to unleash her frustration.
Sakura pulled out a bag of chips and tried to think straight. 'How am I suppose to get him to get the hell out of my life? Kill him?'
She thought about that, long and seriously. There had been many times she had dreamt about driving a dagger through his cold black heart. In her mind, she drew a picture of fiery cremating him while he was still alive. Yes, violence was a very nice way to solve her problems. She blinked. 'Oh god, what am I saying? I'm becoming a bloodthirsty monstrous beast.'
She shuddered at that thought, even though the thought of homicide was very tempting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unknown to her, Syaoran was in the tree watching her every move. He stared longingly at her lips. Then he yelled at himself. 'STOP IT! She has the cards! She's the enemy!'
Yet, he continued staring at her longingly, slipping into a daydream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Oh Syaoran, Honey, where are you?" called a voice not too far away, "Hey, you better not be avoiding me!"
'Now there's someone I wouldn't feel guilty murdering.' Sakura thought while picking up her lunch and lifting herself onto a low branch.
Syaoran who was off in some daydream about a certain auburn haired girl didn't notice the noise.
As Sakura climbed higher she noticed someone sitting in the shadows on a branch not that far away. 'Who's that?'
She reached for the branch and quietly climbed up. Syaoran felt the branch move slightly and snapped out of his daydream.
"Kisama! {You!}" Sakura yelled as she saw him.
Syaoran almost fell out of the tree in shook. He quickly stood up and faced her. He turned bright red. 'Great now she'll think I was spying on her.'
"Why are you spying on me?" Sakura asked suspiciously giving him an icy glare.
"I was.uh. you see.well," Syaoran stuttered. 'Say something you idiot!' His mind screamed, "uh. can't a guy climb a tree now and then?"
He mentally slapped himself, 'Climb a tree? Climb a tree? Way beyond lame, Syaoran.'
"Don't give me that crap," Sakura said lighting a cigarette, "I'm not that stupid."
"You shouldn't be smoking," Syaoran said trying to change the topic. His intense glare reflected hers.
"Like I give a damn," Sakura said blowing smoke into his face, "This is the only pleasure I have in life, now that everything else is gone. What's the point of living a few extra years anyway?"
"You know, your attitude sure changed, Kinomoto. I thought you'd keep on being Little Miss Perfect, with your perfect smile and perky little attitude trying to brighten the streets of Hong Kong."
"That Sakura died a long time ago," Sakura threw her cigarette on the grass, not caring if it caused a fire, "We cremated her perfect ass."
She gave him the finger.
"You really know how to turn a guy on," Syaoran said with an amused smirk.
"I noticed during P.E." Sakura said still glaring at him.
"So you can't stop thinking about it, either." Syaoran said in a husky voice clearly teasing her, "The cherry lip gloss was a nice touch."
"Does your bitch let you flirt with other girls?" She asked.
"Only if she doesn't know," Syaoran said pressing her against the tree trunk.
He looked down at her, (AN: I'm making him like a head taller than her.) his eyes searching hers for any emotion at all, even fear, anything to tell him that she was human.
She looked down trying to avoid his intense gaze, but he cupped his hand under her chin and made her face him. She spat at him. He wiped it off, but didn't release his hold on.
"What the hell do you want?!" Sakura yelled. She told herself to kill him, but her body wasn't cooperating, "Let go of me or I'll have Arrow send fifty arrows into your back."
He examined her face as if she were as if she had changed so much that he had to make sure she wasn't an imposter. It was still the beautiful silky white skin, and gorgeous emerald eyes, with long thick lashes. Her pretty nose was still small and pointed up and her lips were as red as cherries, just as he remembered her, but something wasn't right. He could see a dent in her soul.
Syaoran smiled, not one of amusement, but one of remorse, "Did 'I' do this to you?"
Sakura looked at him, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, "Don't be so modest."
Syaoran remained silent, feeling a pang of guilt and something else.
"Please don't do that," he said softly wiping a tear off her cheek. He tried to pull her closer.
"Just get away from me," Sakura yelled, pushing him away, "I don't want you anymore." (AN: What'd she mean by that? ^.-)
He unwilling moved away.
An awkward silence fell over them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hasing ran furiously through the school campus.
'Where the hell is he?' she thought angrily. Lunch was almost half over and she hadn't seen him. She needed to yell at him.
Tomoyo was trying to keep up with Hasing.
"Slow down!" she said panting.
Hasing stopped and asked a small crowd, "Have any of you seen the bitch, Sakura?"
Everyone shook their heads, even the ones who saw her climb up the tree. Sakura wasn't a person to mess with.
Hasing stocked off.
"Why'd you ask for Kinomoto?" Tomoyo asked her, walking beside her.
"I have a bad feeling that he's with that whore," she said coldly. She could feel Syaoran's aura flare. That only happened when he was angry, nervous, or aroused. (AN: Hehe, I just had to put that in.) It had better not be the last one.
Hasing began ranting about how she would kill Kinomoto if she ever made a move on Syaoran, and vice-versa. Tomoyo fell back and quietly slipped away from Hasing. She went to look for Eriol. She found him flirting with a group of girls.
"What were you doing?" she asked while pulling him away by the ear.
"Ow. I was just being polite," He said rubbing his ear, "they we very nice." He added smiling.
Tomoyo hit the side of his head.
"I found out very interesting things about our Kinomoto."
Tomoyo sighed irritated, "I don't want to talk about her."
For some reason she just could not bring herself to talk bad about Sakura.
'Why'
~2 years ago~
~~Tomoyo~~
Hasing laughed loudly practically falling off of the couch. We had been watching one of the videos of the old card capturing days. Syaoran had switched with Kero.
The whole gang was there, well the ones who new about the cards. From the day Hasing came, I knew there was something about her. I didn't know what, but I felt I could trust her, so did everybody else.
Syaoran was sitting on the couch next to Hasing, Sakura was sitting on the floor and I was sitting next to Eriol in the love seat, busy video taping them.
I focused on how Syaoran was staring at Sakura, not the television. I knew he still loved her. Why didn't he ever tell her? Rejection?
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hasing notice that too. I knew that she wanted Syaoran, too. I felt sorry for her. It took me forever to realize Sakura never loved me as more than a friend, I got over it. (AN: Yes, in the series I thought Tomoyo was in love with Sakura. If you don't like that thought, then get over it. 0_c) Now I had Eriol.
Suddenly, I despised Sakura. I hated her for everything. I hated her for not loving me, for causing Syaoran to forever worship her from afar, for taking away Hasing's chance to be with Syaoran, for having Eriol love her more than me, for having a father.
"Sakura-chan, can I talk to you?" I said, keeping my voice chirpy.
"Yeah, Tomoyo-chan?" she asked, when we were safely in the next room.
"Get out!" I blurted out.
She looked confused and hurt.
"Why?"
"Get out!" I repeated, raising my voice.
I never raised my voice at her. She looked into my eyes and could see that I meant it.
I remembered her running out with her head buried into her hands. I laughed at her inside. When Syaoran asked where Sakura went, I said Touya called and told her to go home.
The next day, I burned everything that remotely reminded me of Sakura. I was to first one to turn on her. It wasn't long before the rest of us did.
~~~~~~~Tomoyo~~~~~~~
Why am I thinking about it now? God, I have a terrible headache.
"Did you listen to a word I was saying?" he asked noticing my spacing out.
"ah- uh" I smiled innocently, "uh-no."
Eriol sighed and gave her a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Syaoran didn't make a move to leave. Neither did Sakura. They stood staring at each other. Her eyes were becoming more watery and tears ran down her cheeks.
"Why are you crying then?" Syaoran asked softly.
She hugged herself and turned away, unable to face him.
"If you didn't have any feeling for me, then you would have left already."
Everything was silent. Then she turned around to face him, her eyes blazing with anger.
"It's because you hurt me! You and Tomoyo and Eriol and everyone else, even Rika, who spent every living moment with Sensei, took time to push me away! Well, I don't need any of you! Go back to hell and leave me alone. I'm done mourning. Don't dig up the past."
He watched her with wonder and astonishment. She took a long breath and continued in a small almost unheard voice. This time she stared down at the lines in the tree.
"Yes, I loved you. I loved you. The real kind, not the he's cute or I like that guy kind of way. Just looking at you, I was in heaven. Now your face makes me sick. I used to dream about you and me. Walks through the park, hand in hand. Cuddles on a rainy day. Stray kisses just because. When I came here, every time I thought of you, became what are you and Hasing doing, sitting under our tree, making out while you should be studing, dancing under the stars while no music played, or sharing a bed."
"I never slept with her!" he snapped. Her words cut through him like a sword.
"I don't care, anymore. You mean nothing to me. Make love with her, kiss her under the Sakura tree, make out under the stars. You mean nothing to me. I don't want your tight as hell ass, after all you've done to me, all I want is peace. Let me live life here as I've made it. I don't love you, I won't." she laughed, "I've become you."
He looked at her, tiny tear droplets forming at the edge of his eyes. "but I changed."
"for a little while." she added her eyes, swollen from crying, "Your caress, touch, or kiss won't fix what you did. Nothing will, I won't forgive you."
"Hasi-"
"Don't blame her. It was you who gave into her advances, you who helped her ruin my life."
He watched sadly as she began to leave. Then he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him. Sakura squeaked in surprise, almost falling off the branch. (AN: Remember this is a tree.)
Syaoran captured her lips in his. She moaned as his tongue explored her mouth. She could taste her own salty tears. He pulled her closer, pressing her body against his. He twined a strand of her golden hair around his finger.
Her mind was in a scramble of mixed emotions. Her thoughts became unclear and foggy. She could feel his aura flare in waves of strength and warmth, trying to reach out. In the distance the lunch bell rung, telling them to come in. They stayed there.
Syaoran ran a finger down her back, causing a shiver down her spine. He moved from her lips to her neck. She giggled as he began gently kissing it. She played with his hair, for the first time realizing how she missed his distinctive scent.
Out of all things, she began thinking about something he said when they were young, when they had barely known each other. "Emotion is the key to weakness, Kinomoto."
Sakura's eyes became cloudy, what if this was part of the plan?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HELP LOST STORY
I'M LOOKING FOR A STORY. I DON'T KNOW THE TITLE OR THE AUTHOR. IT'S ABOUT SYAORAN BEING ACCUSED OF TRYING TO KILL SAKURA. SOMEONE ELSE REALLY IS TRYING TO KILL HER AND HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY. HIS MOTHER WAS KILLED. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I've been trying to find the story forever. It isn't finished, I don't think, and I really want to find it. *sweatdrop* I'm so stupid. If you, for some miracle, know what story I'm talking about. PLEASE! Tell me the title or author. PLEAZ!
AN: So, how'd you like my story? REVIEW!
I'm an author who believes in twists. I'm an all out, closed-minded S+S fan, but I also believe in twists. I'm not one of those 'and they lived happily ever after. I'm telling you, please don't flame me! (for my later chapters.)
