[Disclaimer: I own any characters you don't recognize from the series, except Deniece, Kristin, Ashley. Blah blah blah, disclaimers suck.]

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-FADE BACK IN TO GORDO'S GROUP (MINUS GORDO), WALKING BACK TO THE HALLWAY.-

Derek looks right at Gordo.

DEREK Put the camera down, jackass.

Gordo focuses the camera on Derek.

GORDO (narrating) This is Derek Woodley. Your typical annoying, conceited, meathead jock whose Guess? model good looks should have their own fan club. He's the leader of our group. That's just cause he's the only senior.

The camera shakes with Gordo's movement, then focuses to reveal the boy trying to hide his smile under the smugness. He has wavy dark brown hair that almost reaches his shoulders, and light brown eyes. At almost 5'11, he has a muscularb uild and a strong jawline. A teen heartthrob, to say the least.

Gordo turns to Jorge.

GORDO This is Jorge Diego, otherwise known as Hey, whore!

Jorge tries not to laugh.

GORDO He's a rare species. A skinny, soft-spoken junior who laughs at his own jokes. Surgeon General's Warning: Don't give this kid Prozac. I think he'd spontaneously combust for the disgustingly high levels of endorphins in his body. If you really want to hear him speak, stick him near Stewart, and the insults'll be flying.

JORGE Stewart's a friggin' moron!

GORDO You heard it here, folks. Stewart is a frigging moron. Courtesy of none other than our sexy Puerto Rican mama, Hey whore Diego.

The camera focuses in on a tall, lanky Puerto Rican junior with few muscles and dark brown hair and eyes. He doesn't say a word, just keeps on putting stuff in his locker and grinning.

Gordo flips around and points his video camera in another guy's face.

GORDO This is a fine specimen. Jordan Reading. Yep, reading. Spelled the same way as . Which is kinda of ironic, considering that's one of the many things Jordan can't do.

JORDAN Huh? I don't get it.

GORDO My point exactly. Besides the fact that he makes fun of that senior Debbie Watson, the Amazon Woman of the Western World, and his head if awfully spherical, he's a nice guy. No, really, he is.

Jordan stands around, confused. He's a black, frightening tall (though not as bad as Jorge) sophomore and has sparkling white teeth. His coarse hair lays on his head in messy cornrows. He looks dumbstruck.

JORDAN Jorge, what does sph....sph....sphe...

JORGE Sphincter?

JORDAN Sph....sph...spher...

GORDO We'll get back to you on that one.

Gordo pans right to a scowling guy next to him.

GORDO The always-popular Colin O'Leary. Not that he needs an introduction.

COLIN Screw yuo.

GORDO Well, there's a good first impression for you.

COLIN Uh-huh.

GORDO I'll show this to your kids.

COLIN Whatever.

GORDO I'll show this to all your potential girlfriends so you'll never have any kids.

COLIN Great.

GORDO I'll show this to your grandmother.

Colin shuts up.

GORDO That's what I thought.

Gordo films Colin in silence, as to not upset him further.

Colin is a 5'7 weirdo. He's angry at the world one day, and the next, he's drunk off life. He's a perverted sophomore with an orangey red bowl cut and hazel eyes.

GORDO You're beginning to bore me.

Gordo slowly turns left to face another boy.

GORDO Ah, fresh meat. Ladies and gents, I present to you, the newest addition to our detrimentally exclusive club-- Dominic Bailey. He's such a damn pretty boy, I'm jealous. If he wasn't a guy....

Gordo pauses and stares at the floor.

GORDO Then he'd be a very unattractive girl.... I forget what I was saying.

DEREK I knew it! Gordon does want Dominic's hot body!

DOMINIC (quietly) Sorry, Gordo, I don't lean in that direction.

Gordo continues to film the new kid. He really is a pretty boy. Spiky blonde hair, crystal blue eyes, 5'5, kind of muscular. He was a witty Simpson-obsessed kid, but extremely shy. Gordo knew him from his days as a sevvie and proposed that they let him join as a freshmen. He was pretty lucky.

Derek grabs the camera from Gordo and turns it on him.

DEREK And this is David Gordon. He's our favorite basketball-playing Jew. He's also the only basketball-playing Jew. We envy his beautiful dark brown moptop and deep blue eyes.

GORDO (to the camera) I'm so glad I have guy friends. My girl friends never told me I was pretty half as much as you guys do.

JORGE Group hug!

COLIN Screw that.

JORGE Fine, we don't need yuo.

Jorge, Derek, Dominic and Gordo all hug like pansies.

JORDAN Sph...sph...sphe...

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[A/N: So, you likey? I love all my new characters. I don't know what to comment on. Please just review. I'm tired.]