Daria thought about Jane's sketch and her rift with Trent but

had no idea if she could solve it. Still, she thought maybe Karen

Disher could lead her to some kind of solution with Jake.

As soon as the final bell rang, Daria followed Karen out to the

parking lot and saw a Harley-DavidsonÒ with a sidecar.

"Here's your helmet!"Karen motioned to Daria.

"Hmm, if we had another 300 pounds and British accents, we could remake

'Two Fat Ladies'! "Daria scoffed.

"You cook any?" Karen asked.

"Does nuking lasagna count?" Daria asked as she put on the helmet and climbed into the sidecar.

" It's not far where my boyfriend is but we need to get there soon

so he can explain things thoroughly," Karen insisted while putting on her own helmet.

" I dunno about this meditation bit," Daria pondered.

"You of all people should know brain power. My boyfriend has

something that could tap its unlimited potential and free your Dad!"

Karen insisted as she jumpstarted the Harley and the Hog made its way

out of the parking lot.

The route seemed VERY familiar to Daria. Lawndale wasn't that big a

town so she'd long since walked or been driven too all but a few odd

corners of it. Still, this route seemed to be getting closer to where

she'd been . ..This was on the way to the Jane's neighborhood. Daria

didn't get too perturbed as she hadn't met all the neighbors there but

then the cycle started to slow down on Jane's street. Jane hadn't

introduced her to anyone there and had long since written off her

neighbors as kooks and busybodies. Then they finally stopped at. .. Casa

Lane- garage! Oh, no- Trent! Daria thought he'd been coy around her

because he didn't want to get involved with a minor so what was he doing

with . .and who was HE to try to tap mindpower?

" Um. .. Karen. I know someone like . .him. . must seem cool and

intriguing. ." Daria said rather nervously after Karen stopped the

engine and they started walking towards the Casa Lane Garage.

"You have no idea, " Karen blushed.

"Yo, Karen! Glad you could bring her here!" Trent proclaimed

as he opened the door to the garage just as Karen was about to knock.

"Trent? Are you sure about. ." Daria gulped.

" Come inside! We're waiting!" Trent insisted as he motioned them with his right arm.

" We?" Daria asked.

" Sure, Trent and. .." Karen started to explain while she and Daria followed Trent into the garage.

"Greetings, Turtledove!" Ted DeWitt-Clinton exclaimed as he lifted

his safety googles from over his glasses and put down a tiny screwdriver he'd been using to put together a modem board.

" Glad to be back, Studmuffin!" Karen exclaimed as she and Ted

hugged and kissed for several seconds.

" I never imagined. ." Daria said with relief.

" Some couple!" Trent laughed as he shook his head.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Daria sarcastically asked.

"Sorry, but we can't help ourselves!" Karen laughed.

" You brought me here to show off Ted?" Daria asked.

" No, Daria! We heard about your Dad so my collegue and I have

been working on something really big," Ted breathlessly exclaimed.

"I never thought you and Ted knew each other," Daria said in

puzzlement while shaking her head and looking at Trent.

"His dad hired me once!" Trent shrugged.

" I never thought that Mr. Clinton was into rock," Daria pondered.

" Dad isn't! But he put an ad in the tradepaper for a scarecrow and

. .." Ted explained.

" I needed a new amp for $50 and that's how much Ted's old man

was willing to pay," Trent shrugged.

" I never saw crows fly away faster than when he'd start to sing!"

Ted laughed.

" Let it go," Trent shrugged.

"I wish I could stay with you guys but I've got to teach that line

dancing class in fifteen minutes," Karen insisted.

"Isn't she full of surprises?" Ted laughed in his geeky way.

"Good luck to you and your collegues. I wish I could be around but.

." Karen explained.

" But between this project and your cello workshop tomorrow, we

won't be able to see each other again until Wednesday! Goodbye,

Pookums!" Ted proclaimed as he and Karen locked lips and tightly hugged

for a minute straight while Daria was somewhat flummaxed by the whole

sight.

"I guess I'll see you in school," Daria shrugged as Karen left the

garage and was heard to fire up the Harley then race away.

" My collegue and I have been working online. . ." Ted started to

explain.

"Online? Ted, you don't have a television set," Daria shuddered.

" He put together his own terminal from parts he found in the

landfill," Trent shrugged.

" Anyway, with Trent covering the sound. We think we can snap your dad

out of it but we need your help!" Ted insisted.

"I don't even know where he is ! Mom's gotten so tight-lipped about this and. ."Daria groaned.

"That's part of what you need to do! You also need to ask your friend if you can borrow that digital video camera, "Ted added.

" But Trent can. ." Daria started to say before Trent shot her a

warning glare.

"Yeah, just call that friend of yours up and borrow that camera

of hers. You can have her bring it to school tomorrow then come back

here with it," Trent insisted.

"No, she can't! Daria's going to have to take tomorrow off if we

are to pull this baby off!"Ted gasped.

" Um. .actually, I can't miss school tomorrow! That's when Ms.

Barch's term paper's due and she said that she'd flunk the girls if

we didn't physically hand ours to her tomorrow. .and I can't repeat what

she threatened the boys with!" Daria groaned.

" Well, you could meet her first thing there," Ted insisted.

"Get Jae. .er your friend's camera," Trent added.

"Then fake being sick and come back here!" Ted finished.

"But why can't I tell. . . my friend about this?" Daria asked.

" The fewer people in the know the better! Besides, I have to

prove to. ..Jae-everyone that I'm no screwup and can handle things

without h-hr- er help," Trent warned.

"We'll explain in more detail later," Ted insisted.

"Would you like me to fetch a soda from. " Daria started to ask.

"No need!" Trent warned.

"He's got a whole case of those here- and a deep freeze full of

frozen tofu blocks we can eat. After they've thawed, natch! Too bad about

those paint fumes making his tenant house unlivable!" Ted shrugged.

"Tenant house?" Daria gulped as she looked in the direction of Casa

Lane.

"Yeah, paint fumes!" Trent seethed.

A couple of hours later, Daria was back at home in the living room writing a few notes for the term paper when Helen screeched the brakes of her SUV as she raced back home on a tear.

"Daria! Where's your sister?"Helen screamed.

"I'm right here, Mom," Quinn meekly gulped as she walked in from the

breakfast room.

"I spent the whole day trying to get Cashman's to pay for what they

did to your father!" Helen boiled.

"But. Mo-om!" Quinn gulped.

" I was going to turn them into a chain of parking lots after I

got through with them but NO! It turns out that that they hadn't sold

that . . sludge in 40 years ,that the manufacturer's been defunct and it hasn't been made in 35 years! Quinn Morgendorffer, you LIED to me!"Helen screamed as she drew her arm back to slap her but stopped short an inch before she would have connected.

"Um.. you didn't want to be violent just now?" Quinn nervously

chuckled.

"No, I realized that I could have splattered what passes for your

brains with that slap and I didn't want to go to prison without having

someone PAY for what they did to your father- and for you to pay me

back!" Helen boiled.

"Pay you back?" Daria asked.

"I . .maxxed out a credit card and Mom had to take out a 2nd mortgage and wipe out our college fund to pay it off so we wouldn't lose our house," Quinn burst into

tears.

"Mom, I'm willing to risk juvie,"Daria seethed while flushing beet red with anger.

"Not so fast! First I want to know exactly where Quinn got that

swill- and, by the way, I know you bought squid foundation créme with

that money I spotted you for the gift!" Helen seethed.

"It's jellyfish!" Quinn insisted.

"SHUT UP!" Daria and Helen yelled simultaneously while waving fists overhead.

" Alright, I ran out of money and none of my other sources were

willing or able to spot me," Quinn glared hard at Daria with those

words while Daria rolled her eyes.

"So I poured out my plight to Sandi and she gave the bottle to

me,"Quinn gulped.

"Oh, that little bitch! You HEARD me, Quinn! She's every bit as

rotten as her mother! Well, I'm going to have it out with them once and

for all!" Helen boiled as she grabbed Quinn's cell and speed-dialed

Sandi's number.

As fate would have it, Linda answered the phone.

" I tell you that Griffin . . person was so phony and condescending,

it was almost as bad as your aunt's gloating when I told her what

happened with your father!" Helen boiled.

"Aunt Rita?" Quinn asked.

"Aunt Amy?" Daria gulped.

"No, your Morgendorffer aunt!" Helen seethed.

"Oh, yeah. Aunt Morgana-the one who compels Dad to flee the state instead just

the house when she comes by," Daria groaned as they thought of Jake's sister.

"Well, I gave Linda a piece of my mind and told her where to go!" Helen boiled.

At the Griffin House. ..

Sam and Chris were hitting each other in the arms in the living roomafter the entire family had taken the day off from school and work and had had their right arms punctured as a result of Linda's insistence that if she had to be undergo allergen serum tests- so did everyone else.

"Sandi, that cologne you gave sent Mr. Morgendorffer over the edge!

I'm very angry at you!" Linda seethed as she walked into Sandi's upstairs room.

"But, Mother, I didn't. .." Sandi tried to explain as she grasped

Fluffy closer to her side.

"How many times have I told you?! When sabotaging your foes, don't

leave any trail they can follow you back with!" Linda boiled.

"Mother, I wasn't doing that! I just wanted to get rid of that

gallon of heartache but I didn't know it would effect Ka-Winn's Dad that

way," Sandi gasped.

"You do nothing but let these ants walk all over you- in spite of my

many warnings! Well, you're going to pay. I just found out I'm

allergic to Fluffy so I was going to sell him to a pet food

commercial company but now I'll sell him to some 3rd world cosmetic

testing factory!" Linda boiled.

"Mother, you can't! He's my only friend !" Sandi burst into

tears.

"You have no friends! You only have the option of becoming an ant or

stomping on them!" Linda glared.

"Linda," Tom Griffin started to say as he came to Sandi's room.

"Just shut up, Tom! This is all your fault! I wanted a potted

saguaro cactus for the stairwell but, you said let's have a baby because it would

go much better with the room, be a tax deduction and look good on our resumes!" Linda seethed.

" Linda. ." Tom gulped.

"And then you said, 'Sandi's lonely. Instead of a doll, let's

give her a baby sister' . You blew that idea twice !" Linda boiled as

she slammed the door on Sandi and Tom meekly followed her.

"Don't worry, Fluffy. You ARE my only friend and I won't let

anything bad happen to you! I wish they'd gotten a cactus and I'd gotten a doll. .," Sandi sniffed while hugging Fluffy to her bosom.

"So why didn't you come over or meet me for pizza?" asked Jane as

she called later on the phone.

"Funny how a few last-minute revisions can blow an entire afternoon

and evening," Daria replied.

" Jodie saw you get on that Harley with Karen Disher," Jane

countered.

" Nothing much to tell. We didn't go very far before she dropped me

off. ." Daria explained.

"Where?" Jane asked.

" Um. . not too far from my house. Why the third degree?" Daria

asked.

" No reason. Just don't like it when my best friend joins the rest

of the world in passing me by,"Jane explained.

" I'm not passing you by. I just. . . had something I had to do

and you'd taken off with that run! Listen, gotta go, um, but can I ask

you something?" Daria asked.

"Shoot," Jane sarcastically replied.

" Could I borrow your digital video camera? It's for a project,"

Daria asked.

"Sure come on over and. ." Jane insisted.

" I can't. It's getting kinda late," Daria groaned.

"What's the project?" Jane asked.

" Independent study," Daria replied.

"Sure, I guess I can bring it with me on our way to school

mañana! So, O'Neill thinks you're the next Ron Howard. Hmm. See ya

then!" Jane pondered as she hung up.

Daria could tell that Jane hadn't quite bought the excuse but it

was too late to think of any other and Jane did promise her the

camera.

The next morning, Daria met Jane as she handed her the camera while they were walking to school.

" So, here it is! Now tell me all about this project. Is it

something about recording your enormous range of emotions and inflections?"

Jane laughed.

"No, it's.. .sorry, Jane. I just don't feel like talking about it

right now. When everything's settled, I will ," Daria groaned.

"So, did Karen do anything of interest besides drive a Harley?"

Jane asked.

"Well, put it this way. She's dating the last boy you'd expect.

.and. . " Daria insisted.

A convertable blew its horn.

"Hello, you luscious babes!" Upchuck growled as he yelled out the

window.

" Amscray!" Jane seethed.

"Fiesty!" Upchuck growled as they were rounding the last corner to

school.

" Er.. .no it's not him,"Daria groaned.

" Details! Inquiring minds," Jane persisted.

" Listen, I need to talk to Ms. Barch first thing. I'll meet you

later," Daria insisted as she broke ranks with Jane.

"Hey, amiga! Running's supposed to be my trademark!"Jane called

out as Daria ran with the camera.

Daria quickly put the camera in her locker then made her way to

Ms. Barch's classroom.

"What are you doing here?" Daria asked the white-haired Mrs. Adelaide Stoller who had just finished writing her name on the chalkboard.

"Miss or Mrs. Barch is having a root canal and won't be in until after lunch so Miss Lee called me into service," Mrs. Stoller explained.

"OK, here's my. .." Daria started to say as she handed her term paper to Mrs. Stoller.

"Actually, I didn't speak to Miss Lee herself. For some reason, she had her laundress make the arrangement," Mrs. Stoller pondered.

"Mrs. Stoller, could you please give this term paper to Ms. Barch?"Daria asked.

"Sorry, no can do. I see that girl with the hippy name's trying to take advantage of your trusting nature, Miss Darlene," Mrs. Stoller droned.

"Er. .no, Mrs. Stoller," Daria tried to argue.

"But I say if we let her get away with this, there'll be nothing to stop her from running off to a 'Hair' audition or making macramé plant hangers. You tell her to bring the paper to Miss or Mrs. Barch herself . .." Mrs. Stoller insisted.

"But Mrs. Stoller. . " Daria replied.

"Ms. Barch,do you have liquid. .? ACK!" Anthony Di Martino gasped.

"Posture, Tony. .. or I'll safety-pin a note on your shirt for Mrs. Olive

to schedule a parent-teacher conference," Mrs. Stoller replied as Mr. DiMartino fled.

"But could you please.. ."Daria asked.

"I have too much work to do before class . Good day, Miss Darlene!" Mrs. Stoller insisted as she got up, saw Daria to the door, then closed the door in her face.

"Hello, Trent," Daria called on Tom's cellphone as she closed the bathroom stall behind her.

"Did you get the info and camera?" Trent asked.

"Yes, Mom ranted about a tantrum at Cashman's so I contacted the source there who told me Mom mentioned the nuthouse as the LaStraw Institute," Daria insisted.

"Cool, we'll get rocking on that! What about the. ..?" Trent asked.

" I won't cut loose as soon as I planned but I think I can make it later," Daria explained.

At that moment, Daria heard breathing from the next stall- which she had been sure had been empty.

"Gotta go. Bye!" Daria insisted as she quickly flushed the commode.

"DiMartino was shaken up even more than usual today, " Jane said over lunch.

" He had his reasons," Daria muttered as she was counting the minutes until Ms. Janet Barch's return.

"Yeah, wasn't it funny how he told the whole class how Mrs. Stoller had treated him as a boy- 'DiMartino sounds very similar to a hard beverage. Calling you 'Tony Olive' would less likely encourage delinquency!' ' Took me twenty-SIX YEARS to sort OUT the paperWORK!'" Jane laughed- having imitated Mr. DiMartino and him imitating Mrs. Stoller.

"Something else, alright," Daria sighed.

"How's she's stayed in the system all these years?" Jane scoffed.

"That's what I asked Supervisor Cartwright a week after the strike when I bumped into him at Pay Day. ." Daria replied- as she started spooning her mystery meat.

"And. .?" Jane asked.

"One word: mother-in-law!" Daria scorned.

"Isn't that three - not counting the hyphens? Ah, good ole Lawndale nepotism!" Jane sighed while Daria nodded.

"Who says Lawndale has no traditions?" Daria shrugged.

"You haven't even touched what they say is food! What's with you?" Jane asked- as Jane noticed Daria's cafeteria tray..

" I just don't. .. feel good today and. .gotta go!" Daria explained before she saw Ms. Barch walk past the cafeteria towards her classroom.

"Wait! What's with you? What's with all of you? What's with me?" Jane groaned.

"What's this? Damn it!!"Ms. Barch was heard screaming as she kicked Mrs. Stoller's chair- having noticed a large pile of wet ice stacked four feet high on the righthand corner of her desk –leaking a large puddle onto the floor.

"That's a 'no-no' word! Go stand in the corner until I get the soap to. ." Mrs. Stoller snapped as she started pointed to a corner while standing up from the chair.

Ms. Barch marched two steps towards a corner then turned back.

"It's my classroom and you were supposed to teach photosynthesis!" Ms. Barch snapped- as she started sweeping the ice off her desktop into a trash can.

"I couldn't because Mrs. Bennett wouldn't let me borrow the office's color copier so I brought this from the cafeteria then told the boys and girls all about how ice turns into water, Miss or Mrs. Barch," Mrs. Stoller explained.

"That's Ms. !" Ms. Barch snapped.

" 'Mizz' sounds like a mosquito," Mrs. Stoller insisted.

" Just go home now, you pre-feminist fossil!"Ms. Barch fumed.

" Fossil I may be but at least I was able to attract and keep my man around until he got pinewood boxed so I don't have to resort to using to mosquito sounds in front of my name.," sniffed Mrs. Stoller as she abruptly exited and wordlessly passed by Daria who saw Ms. Barch look on the verge of a meltdown.

"Why don't you turn in the paper when class starts?" Ms. Barch

asked.

"I ate a pizza last night. .um.. have a very bad stomach bug and I'm

going home as soon as I hand you the paper," Daria replied.

" A stomach bug. Hmm.You don't feel feverish!" Ms. Barch insisted

as she felt Daria's forehead.

" Take my temperature,"Daria wanly insisted.

"Remember Daria, what I've taught you must only be used for good- and don't ever tell anyone where you learned this. . . at least not until after your mother's death!"

Daria suddenly remembered Aunt Amy Barksdale saying before Daria used a

yoga-biofeedback technique to concentrate an inordinate amount of

bodyheat underneath her tongue.

"103 Degrees! I'll send you to the school nurse," Ms. Barch

insisted.

"No.Don't! " Daria gulped.

"That's right! We don't have one anymore. They cut that out of

the budget so Ms. Li could pay for a new security guard- a MALE security

guard. Probably related to that MALE pizza cook who spread his disease!

So like them to make us diseased so we're forced to cook for THEM. 22

years of legal slavery and did my ex even once brew a cup of tea for me

? No, but he DID make nachos for himself and his posse! And. ." Ms.

Barch ranted but Daria could see that she did write her a sick note to

take to Ms. Li so Daria left.

"What's the meaning of letting someone walk off with all that used

computer equipment and wiring? Don't you know that I.. er the school

could have profitted by selling it to the recyclers?" Angela Li seethed

as she was berating the security guard with punk white spiked hair

"Sorry, ma'am, my can of Ultra-Cola came got lifted from the teacher's lounge yesterday and I was trying to find it" the security guard replied.

"Well, as long as you bought another can, that's the important thing!" Ms. Li insisted.

"Ms. Barch wrote this sick note for me. I have to leave now," Daria

said.

"Sure, Miss Morgendorffer. Have you seen the New Zealand exchange

student? I need to grill him on the missing wires from the scrap pile,"

Ms. Li sniffed.

"I don't think we have one," Daria shrugged but noticed that she

felt that she was being watched from above but soon walked out

the building without further incident.

At that moment, Quinn was sitting in class. She looked out the window and

saw Daria flee the school- looking behind her to see if she was being

watched. This piqued Quinn's curiosity a great deal.

"So class. Volunteering can not only help our self-esteem but others',too.

Matter of fact, just this weekend, I started a new program in which my

voice counsels patients at a fine institution. .Yes, Quinn?" Mr.

O'Neill asked as Quinn raised her hand.

"Excuse me but I think there's a lost person in the girl's bathroom

who could use some fashion counselling so could I go volunteer. .?"

Quinn asked as she put down her hand.

"Can't it wait until after class?" Mr. O'Neill asked.

"No.This poor soul could go the next 45 minutes being ostracized

for having no fashion sense. Do you want to be responsible for

someone's extended low self-esteem?" Quinn asked.

"You're right, Quinn! I'll be happy to support you in your noble

cause. Go with my blessing!" Mr. O'Neill gushed.

"Gee, Ka-Winn! Do you need the Fashion Club's help in your

mission ?" Sandi asked accusingly.

"No, I must do this outreach on my own. I wouldn't want to deprive

the Fashion Club of the opportunity to do good here !" Quinn scowled.

"Oh, good point! Mr. O'Neill did you know knit shirts are. .?" Sandi

was heard to say before Quinn made her break.

Quinn saw Ms. Li and the security guard arguing in front of the main

entrance so she made a beeline for the girl's restroom and climbed out

through the window-which, oddly enough, had been left open- the wires to the magnetic lock having been severed.

"So, Daria. You weren't followed or anything?" Trent asked at Casa

Lane garage a few minutes later

"No. Here's the camera. " Daria insisted.

"Super dooper! I should have this baby finished by then!

Remember, get those family photos I was talking about!" Ted insisted as he closed the garage door.

Shortly after Ted closed the garage door and Daria was about to walk back home. .

"What the HELL is going on here?" Jane seethed- as she burst out of the back door of the Casa Lane kitchen.

"Eeep! Jane," Daria gulped- as she abruptly threw her bookbag into the doorway- causing it to land at the head of the basement stairwell.

" And my birthday's not for months so don't try that !" Jane boiled.

"You really think that that deadbeat and that geek will find

anything useful?" Jane asked as she and Daria were walking on the sidewalks towards

the Morgendorffer House.

"Do you think that Ted would enlist our help if he didn't think

they could help Dad out?" Daria asked.

" I know that he picked up on that virtual reality bit real fast

and all but how d'ya know he's a good judge of. .?"Jane asked.

Daria blushed and sighed.

"Because at the Homecoming Parade, he snapped a picture of Tom and

me- saying we were a couple," Daria groaned.

"But what does. .?" Jane asked.

"That Parade was long before our three-way dust-up and even

before you had your suspicions," Daria deeply groaned.

Jane sighed.

"OK, I guess he may be onto something. Still, it's hard to believe

he could do ALL that by himself. " Jane pondered.

"Gotta admit, that kinda puzzles me,too. We can find those family pictures Ted wants inside. Maybe, we'll hear from Trent soon," Daria considered as she opened

the Morgendorffer House front door- almost certain, she heard the

garage door opening at the very same time.

Meanwhile Mr. O'Neill's lecture proved so boring that virtually

the entire class fell asleep- including him (while remaining standing).

"Come on, Stacy, Tiffany! We're going!" Sandi insisted as she nudged the remaining two Fashion Clubbers awake.

"But that. .would be so wrong," Tiffany protested.

"Tiffany dear, it would be more wrong to sit here and watch

the man sleep! "Sandi insisted as she started walking out with the

remaining two Fashion Clubbers behind her.

" Where are we going?" Stacy asked.

"Ka-Winn's taken a very long time to give some girl fashion

counselling so that can only mean one thing. She's gotten some inside

scoop and she wants to beat us to telling others about! We can't let

Ka-Winn steal our thunder again!" Sandi insisted as they entered

the downstairs girls' bathroom.

"I don't see Quinn anywhere in here. Maybe we should go back?"

Stacy meekly suggested after popping inside to look..

"Stacy, Ka-Winn not being here means she has gone somewhere else

so we can't go back until we've located her. Hmm, a pink thread!"

Sandi pondered as she saw a single inch-long pink thread dangling from

the open bathroom window frame and picked it up.

"It appears Ka-Winn has left the building,"Sandi hypothesized.

" I thought only Elvis could. .."Tiffany remarked.

" We must intercept her at once," Sandi insisted.

"Yeah, she could get in trouble," Stacy considered.

" And if she gets caught our reputations could SUH-ffer! We

need to bring her back here for her own good- even if she's spreading

the Fashion Word to the world!"Sandi insisted.

"What do you have . .in mind?"Tiffany asked.

"Stacy could lower me to the ground so I won't get my shoes or

slacks dirty from climbing down three feet and, Tiffany, you could look

out," Sandi ordered.

"Um.. Sandi, I think. ." Stacy started to say.

"You WHAT?!" Sandi snapped.

"Eeep!" squealed Stacy.

" Very well, just watch my back while I climb out! Must I do

everything myself?" Sandi sniffed.

A few seconds later, that question was answered.

"Good, Stacy, I see you've decided to lower me after all!

Hey don't pull up!O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh. .. ." Sandi shuddered as she

came eye-to-eye with Ms. Li who yanked her back inside with surprising

strength.

"Miss Griffin, what the Hell are you doing here?!" seethed

Ms. Li after she yanked Sandi back into the girls' restroom.

"I was going to ask the same question,ma'am," groaned Sandi as she stood back up.

"The plumber shut the water off in my bath suite after the

bidet. ..NEVER MIND!" snorted Ms. Li as she grabbed Sandi by the upper left arm and led her out of the bathroom.

"Nice work being a lookout, Tiffany," Sandi spat as the three

were seated outside Ms. Li's office.

"I did look out into the hall," Tiffany protested.

"But why didn't you try to warn me when Ms. Li came in?"Sandi

seethed.

"It's not polite ..to yell ...when someone needs to . use

the bathroom,"Tiffany explained.

At once, Mr. O'Neill made a very hasty and abashed wordless

exit from Ms. Li's office.

"Miss Rowe and Miss Blum-Deckler, get back to your classes

immediately. Miss Griffin, come inside!" Ms. Li seethed.

" I was only trying to stop, Ka-Winn,"Sandi protested as she quickly ran inside Ms. Li's office and stood in front of Ms. Li's desk.

" Skipping class,leaving school property without permission

and putting Lawndale High at risk for lawsuits by climbing out the

window are punishable offences. First, I must call your mother," Ms. Li

boiled.

"Not that! Put me before a firing squad- in plaid!"Sandi

begged.

"Hello, Mrs. Griffin, this is Ms.Angela Li- Principal at Lawndale

High. I have some VERY bad news about your daughter Sandi. . .No. .she

has not had a zit eruption. She. ..Well, yes, I guess you two do look

like sisters,"Ms. Li sheepishly replied obviously lying through her

teeth while Sandi rolled her eyes-having heard Linda ask this line of

questioning hundreds of time since the start of Sandi's puberty.

"Of course people think you're the younger one. Er. .Mrs.

Griffin, Sandi was caught climbing out the girl's bathroom window in

order to leave school grounds during school hours and I intend to punish

her with a week's suspension- in school!" Ms. Li fumed.

"With all the geeks and losers?" Sandi groaned.

"You're really into genealogy!" Daria exclaimed in awe as they looked at the Morgendorffer pedigree chart with Jane's new Morgendorffer Coat of Arms next to it on the wall.

"A fascinating way to study dysfuctionality in just about every family! And have you seen some of those medieval heraldry symbols? Warped, I tell you- and a good source for abstract art! " Jane laughed.

"Here's how we got our start!" Daria noted as they sat down in the living room.

" So that's where your name came from," Jane exclaimed- as

they looked over a picture of a couple in fancy 19th century wedding attire beneath

an elaborate canopy while seated on the living room sofa studying the large photo album

"Yep, my bookseller great-great-great-grandfather Simon Morgenstern

married the printing heiress Eva Dorffer. So, they agreed to

hyphenate and voila had my great-great-grandfather Louis Morgen-Dorffer,"

Daria explained as she looked at the pictures.

"Doesn't Morgenstern mean 'morning star' in German?" Jane asked.

"And Dorffer means 'villager' so Louis was 'morning villager' in German,"Daria explained.

"So when Louis's son David emigrated from Alsace-Lorraine. .."Jane pondered.

"Yep, the Ellis Island registrar dropped the hyphen and garbled

the name!" Daria scoffed- as they looked at Louis's picture.

"But where did 'Mad Dog' come into the picture?" Jane asked.

" David studied obscure early American history and found out about this Welsh

prince named Madoc who some believe came to what's now the USA back in

the 1100's. So he named his 5th and youngest son after him to show how 'American' they were!," Daria explained.

"And it didn't take too long before he got the nickname 'Mad Dog'!

Say, where is he?" Jane asked as they were leafing through the gigantic album packed with photos going back five generations on both the Morgendorffer and Barksdale sides.

"Oh, no! Now I remember! When Mom and Dad married , Mom

decided she'd heard so much about 'Mad Dog' that she destroyed every

single photograph of him she could find so Dad would quit being haunted

by him!" Daria groaned- as they saw family photos with sections trimmed out.

" That sure worked," Jane scoffed.

"I guess Grandma has one with her on the cruise. Why couldn't she

have come back when we need her help?" Daria groaned.

"Maybe she's too far out to sea to dock anytime soon. Maybe

passport problems.. " Jane replied.

"She's on Lake Michigan circling around, "Daria groaned.

"Say, maybe you could have her scan then e-mail a photo! Quick

let's get online!" Jane insisted.

"Will do. Did you just hear a bump?" Daria asked.

" Maybe your house is settling. Mine does that all the time," Jane

shrugged.

"Damn! I forgot to recharge Tom's cell,"Daria groaned.

"Let's start recharging then calling your Grandma!" Jane insisted.

A few minutes later. ..

"Hello Grandma, it's Daria. .. no Dad's still not well. We think we

can help get him out of his current state. You have any photos of

Grandpa Morgendorffer? Great! Just go to the 'Net lounge and have them

scan it to my address. .. No, it won't hurt the. . What do you mean you

can't let me see it?. . OK, so it's a wallet-sized reproduction of the

one in your bedroom with him life-sized. .. on the ceiling? Where you

hang pictures is not my deal, Grandma.. ..So he's saluting and wearing a

helmet. .. only a helmet?! No, Grandma there's no reason for me or Dad

to see it- ever.Bon voyage, Grandma," Daria groaned as she had

gotten somewhat embarassed by the conversation.

"Anything left to do here?" Jane asked as she paused a bit before sitting back down with Daria on the sofa facing the entertainment center- having heard the sound of something scurrying.

" I got the photos of Grandma and my Aunt Morgana from Dad's childhood but I'm not sure if this stunt will work without Grandpa 'Mad Dog's ' image!" Daria groaned as she sat down and felt a new lump beneath the sofa.