"Oww!" a muffled yelp was heard by the two girls.

Jane put her right index finger over her mouth and silently mouthed to Daria (who she knew could read lips)," Hand me the photo album- and on the count of three, we'll stand up together then turn the sofa on its side while I clobber whoever's underneath there! One,two three!" Jane exclaimed.

In just seconds they stood up, then, while upturning the sofa, discovered someone's right big toe tangled in the seat springs- with the owner still attached.

"Ethan?!" Daria and Jane exclaimed in shock a moment before Jane was about to hit him with the photo album.

"Are you alright?" Jane eagerly asked as she put down the photo ablum then rushed to untangle his toe.

"Yeah, sure," Ethan replied as nonchalantly as possible but still in pain.

"What the Hell are you doing here?"Daria asked.

"Yeah! " Jane angrily added as she suddenly let the spring snap back onto his big toe.

"Oww! Mr. Morgendorffer needed my help so I told Dad to tell everyone in New Mexico that I'd make my way back on my own," Ethan explained as he untangled his toe.

"And you've been hiding yourself in my house?!" Daria asked angrily.

" I only let myself in to see if I could find some keystone from childhood to help out Mr. Morgendorffer. I couldn't find anything in the garage or attic, "Ethan replied.

" Childhood artifact? Does this mean that. ..? "Daria asked.

"Yes, Ted DeWitt-Clinton's my collegue and Trent's been cool enough to work with us and give us his garage for our project," Ethan explained as he righted the sofa.

"His garage?" Jane asked.

" I was on my way to Ted's when I heard Trent playing- and I knew he wouldn't mind me dropping by at 4AM. I told him about the project Ted and I had been working on and how it could help Mr. Morgendorffer so he was all ears. I've been mostly staying there these past four days except for research and catching up," Ethan added.

"So you've had no problems with that garage," Jane said accusingly.

"It sorta reminds me of some of the cliffdwellings up on the mesa. Too bad about those paint fumes making Trent's tenant house uninhabitable," Ethan shrugged.

"Wait'll I see Trent," Jane seethed.

"Daria, can you remember any favorite television show of your Dad's from his childhood?"Ethan asked.

"He once complained about how his dad hogged the TV to watch 'The Honeymooners' but I can't remember him mentioning anything specific for himself," Daria replied.

"Our folks grew up in the first TV generation so there's bound to have been one show that had more impact than any other. My dad even took his moniker from one," Ethan insisted.

"Let me guess- 'Road Runner'!" Jane quipped.

"Yep! It was his way of getting back at Grandma for naming him and his twin sister after her favorite cartoon! He swore me never to repeat his original name but, put it this way, as soon as Aunt Twyla was old enough, she changed her name from Tweety!" Ethan related.

"I've got the photo albums. What more do we need to . .?" Daria asked.

"I researched LaStraw! They have a shift change at 5PM. That should be the best time to spring Mr. Morgendorffer, "Ethan insisted.

"Spring him but. .. ?" Jane asked.

"That place is bad news, Jane! The sooner we get him out, the better. I just need to know what name he's under so we can plan on breaking him out. It seems that folks dump relatives under assumed names there. Let's go up to your terminal, Daria," Ethan insisted.

"Mom's maiden name was Barksdale. Does that help?"Daria asked with Ethan at the terminal.

"Yeah, someone named Troy Barksdale checked in a 'partner' called Jacob Perlman on Saturday!" Ethan related as he pulled up the LaStraw roster.

" Great going, Mom. Now those goons will think she's a man and Dad's gay- making life even more unpleasant for him there," Daria groaned.

"Here's a picture of the staff during their picnic. We can use this to make copies of their ID badges!" Jane concluded.

"Great thinking. Can you make a believable copy from a zoomed in shot?" Ethan asked.

"Is Gallileo a heretic?" Jane laughed then in a few clicks, had the prototype for the ID badge at hand.

"Cool. I'd say we print five- using generic, gender-neutral names such as Chris and Sandy,"Ethan insisted.

"When it comes to visuals, I'm your woman!"Jane beamed while nudging Ethan.

" Does Mr. Morgendorffer still have an office?" Ethan asked as they walked back downstairs.

"It's been awhile since I was last there but, as far as I know, he does. It's on the other side of town, though," Daria sighed.

" We could take the Lexus,"Ethan pondered..

"Trent said he and Ted would pick me up here at 4:30!"Daria recalled.

" Both the Plymouth and Tank are broken," Jane groaned.

"Nah, I fixed 'em over the weekend," Ethan insisted.

"That should help them with their tasks," Daria added.

"Right, he and Ted are busy getting things ready but I'll give 'em a call and tell Ted to bring five sets of blue and red scrubs," Ethan concluded.

"Why five?" Daria asked as they reached the main living room.

"Cos that's the two of you, Ted, me . .and her," Ethan nonchalantly shrugged while pointing at Quinn who'd hidden herself in the tree while looking in the window.

"Let me at her!" Jane boiled and started running.

"I'll do it!" Ethan shrugged.

"But Jane's been running for years and you're barefoot!" Daria gasped.

"Quinn more likely'd let me catch her!" Ethan shrugged as he took off and soon caught up to both Jane and Quinn.

Daria ran out of the house as fast as she could but was more easily winded than the other two. Ethan outpaced Jane then caught up to Quinn and grabbed her wrist. Quinn stopped where she was but Jane immediately tackled her to the ground.

"Who the Hell do you think you are spying on us?" Jane boiled.

"Daria, get her off me! Ethan, why aren't you tackling me?" Quinn pleaded.

"Not until you tell us why you're here!" Daria insisted.

" I saw you leave during lunch and I've noticed that you've been snooping around trying to find out what's going on with Dad. .and I wanted to help!" Quinn gulped.

"Help?! How could you help, Princess Grace?" Jane sneered.

"Well, I feel like it's kinda my fault Dad's gone zombie," Quinn sighed.

"That's true. Quinn, I know you'd have never deliberately done this to Dad. Jane, get off her," Daria insisted.

"Are you sure she won't narc to Helen?" Jane asked.

" Considering that she's already gotten herself in trouble by skipping school," Daria concluded while Jane let go of Quinn who got back on her feet.

" What makes you think. .? I thought you skipped. ..!" Quinn seethed.

"Yeah, so did I! That's why I skipped out!" Jane boiled.

" I faked being sick to Ms. Barch and she wrote a note to let me go home early for Ms. Li!"Daria conceded.

"You mean, we both put our butts in a sling to protect yours but you'd already covered it?" Quinn wailed.

"ARGH!! " Jane and Quinn screamed in unison while tackling Daria..

"Ladies, killing Daria won't help Mr. Morgendorffer!" Ethan insisted as he simultaneously pulled off Jane and Quinn by grabbing an arm of each and lifting them off- with both of them virtually leaping to their feet the second they felt his hand on their arms.

"Whatever you say, Ethan!" Quinn beamed.

" But what good will Quinn be to us?" Jane snapped.

"She could hold the flashlight while I hotwire the Lexus," Ethan insisted.

"No need for that! I know where Mom keeps the keys!" Quinn replied.

"But she's taking them with her everywhere these days," Daria groaned as she dusted herself off.

"Not today! Don't you remember her talking about arguing that case at the State Capitol today?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah but. . of course. You're right!" Daria concluded with snapping her fingers.

"Yo! Ethan and I don't get this inside joke," Jane snapped- as she snapped her fingers to imitate Daria.

"It's a two-hour drive there but since the case would take her the whole day and the firm would pay for it, Mom's almost certainly flying. She loathes going through airport security so the less metal she has to dump out onto the tray, the better!" Daria concluded.

"To the jewelry box!" Quinn insisted.

The four of them climbed up to the parental bedroom and found the keys in said box. Afterwards Ethan called Trent but, as per their insistance, didn't let him know that Jane and Quinn were helping them out. They soon were on their way to Jake's office with Daria at the Lexus's wheel. They came to the office and parked outside it.

They let themselves in to the empty rooms. The outer room had three office chairs next to a coffee table loaded with consulting magazines, for any visitors. There was a small receptionist's desk with a telephone and answering machine (that Jake had never been able to figure out how to program). Jake had never actually hired a receptionist in Lawndale but he concluded he had to appear to have one to impress any clients. After Daria flipped the light switch on, she could see quite a layer of dust had accumulated but the four of them silently pressed onwards to Jake's actual office. Adjacent to the desk was a television set with a VCR permanently flashing 12AM and behind the desk was a large bookcase containing reference sets of consulting manuals and a few sets of consulting videos.

"Jake was able to support you, Helen and Princess Grace before Helen started working full time doing this?" Jane gasped to Daria while Daria and Quinn rolled their eyes.

"Hmm, these shelves are quite messy! These tapes aren't flush against the wall!" Quinn gasped.

"What difference does that make?" Daria sneered.

"Mr. Morgendorffer may have been trying to hide something behind that section of tapes," Ethan pondered.

"Here's something! Another tape but ACK!!" Jane coughed/screamed as she saw the title.

" 'The Feeling Felines' Honolulu Luau of 1978'," Daria stated as she saw the well-worn outer cover of voluptuous, tanned and buxom models wearing only cat ears and tails while roasting a pig on a spit over a campfire.

"Dad watches porno? EWW!" Quinn shuddered.

"It makes sense he'd hide it here and behind those legit tapes," Daria shrugged.

"Not so fast," Ethan pondered as he lifted the cover off and let the tape itself slide out.

" 'Kukla, Fran and Ollie'? Dad's watching a threesome?" Quinn shuddered.

"Not that kind! It all makes sense now! Back in the early 50's, this was a children's show out of Chicago that even adults liked! A lady named Fran Allison would stand in front of a puppet stage, converse and have adventures with Burr Tillstrom's puppets- Kukla and Ollie. .and it was just about all improv! " Ethan exclaimed as he put in the tape into the machine.

"You want us to watch this? How will that help. .?" Jane asked.

" I think he and Ted could put this to good use and the three of us could help out!" Daria beamed.

"You got it!" Ethan insisted.

"So Dad wasn't ashamed about us finding out he watched porn. He was more embarrassed we'd find out that he still craved these puppets' company!"Quinn concluded.

"It may even explain why he kept this office going even after he started doing lots of his business out of the house- so he'd have a place to watch it without anyone making fun of him!" Daria pondered.

"So maybe Jake did have folks he believed cared about him growing up!" Jane exclaimed.

Daria and Quinn looked at her.

"Hey why should I be left out of the psychobabble moments!" Jane laughed.

" I'll leave you three to watch this the next hour, then I'll meet you at the LaStraw Insitute at the shift change. Bring the tape with you! Trent will pick you up at your house," Ethan insisted.

" But why don't you stay with us?"Jane asked.

"And why shouldn't we drive the Lexus there?" Quinn asked.

" There are some things I have to do before you get there- and you don't want the Lexus traced back to you after we've broken your dad out!" Ethan explained as he ran out the door while the others started watching the tape at about 1:30 PM.

"But why am I having to be in detention but not Quinn or Quinn's cousin/sister/whatever's art friend?" Sandi whined at about 4:25PM.

"We cannot locate them at this time! Not to worry, I have already left word with their mothers and, as soon as we find them, we will mete even more severe punishments. In fact, if you find them before tomorrow, I may be willing to reduce your detention to this afternoon only- and a $50 Cashman's gift certificate,"Ms. Li enticed as she tore in half said certificate and gave Sandi the left half.

"You'll get the right half when you've achieved your mission and restored honor to Lawndale High! Here's my cell number!" Ms. Li insisted as she led Sandi off to detention- having spent the entire time supervising Sandi doing chores in the principal's office.

"Trent's actually on time!" Daria exclaimed at 4:30PM- after the three of them had watched the video at Jake's office then driven the Lexus back to the Morgendorffer House.

"Ted's with him- and he has a watch!" Jane quipped.

"Oh, yeah," Daria sighed.

"Daria, could you go out and explain to Trent . ..?" Quinn asked.

"The best way to do this is to give him the least chance to bolt so let's just get it over with," Daria strategized as Trent pulled up the Tank.

"Ah, Daria! It's gonna be cool to. " Trent beamed- until Quinn and Jane came out of the house behind her.

"Hey, it's. .!" Ted eagerly exclaimed.

" It's Daria's sister," Trent sneered.

"Yeah. Quinn!" Ted insisted.

"Trent, don't even think. .. " Jane started to warn while wagging her right index finger.

"And Daria's friend!" Trent sneered.

" Daria, tell Trent. ." Jane boiled.

"Daria, tell your friend," Trent snapped.

"Great. Now I'm Panmunjon!" Daria groaned.

" I don't know what's gone down between you two but just because you're clashing doesn't mean the rest of us have to go naked waiting for you to co-ordinate!" Quinn insisted.

Jane, Trent and Ted looked at Quinn in puzzlement.

"Translation- like it or not, we're all here and needed on this vital mission so, for Dad's sake, truce it till it's over then dogfight can be resumed!" Daria explained.

"Do you have the ID badges?" Ted asked as they started to climb in the back of the Tank.

"Yep! These are rather natty copies, don't ya think?" Jane smirked.

" I got the scrubs we can wear over our clothes- and look what I borrowed from Mom!" Ted exclaimed proudly.

"Wigs!" Quinn squealed.

"Yeah, if we're all blonde, that'll throw 'em off!" Ted exclaimed- as Jane, Quinn and Daria got settled on the Tank's chest in the back while Trent started to rev up the engine.

"Say, this doesn't look like human hair- or nylon," Quinn quipped.

"Not to mention that these look big enough for pumpkins," Jane groaned while trying to fit a wig on her head.

"They are! Mom made these outta corn silk for the 'Quintuple P Fest' five years ago. ..!" Ted started to explain.

"Quintuple P Fest?" Daria asked.

"Yep, the Pennsylvanian Poconos Pumpkin Parade and Popcornpalooza!" Ted laughed in his geeky way.

"Isn't that six P-words?" Jane asked.

"Popcornpalooza's one word!" Ted chuckled.

" Everyone knows that, Jane. What images that fest brings to mind!"Daria teased.

" Aren't we forgetting something?" Trent asked.

"Here's the 'Net map showing the fastest way to get there. LaStraw Institute's ten miles outside town and we can make it there by the shift change, if we take the Easterly Trace,"Daria pondered as she showed Trent the map.

"But don't we have to pass the Ringstrasse on the way?" Trent asked.

" Yeah, but we should beat Rush Hour so we should make it on time," Daria considered.

" I'll be happy when that Ringstrasse is finished! It's noosing our city with most of it under construction with only two lanes,"Jane grumbled.

"The engine's sounding a lot smoother than I've heard it before," Daria noted.

"And watch this!" Trent insisted.

"Look out!" Jane yelled as Trent drove straight over a pothole.

"I didn't even feel the slightest jar!" Daria beamed.

"Ethan's fixed it up real good- even the shocks!" Trent exclaimed.

"Let's just put the scrubs and wigs on now!" Quinn sniffed.

"Whoa! I see the Front Gate with the barbed-wire fence!" Trent gulped as he came to the LaStraw Institute's perimeter at 445PM.

"Just act calm. We show them the ID's and tell them we're taking care of laundry from the temp service," Jane recalled.

". It's our turn now!" Trent gulped.

"Who goes there!" the guard barked.

"Just three for laundry detail and two nurse's aides!" Trent replied- while passing the ID's.

"Park at the Employee Lot- then have these new workers check in for orientation!" the guard insisted- as he opened the gate and let the Tank pass through.

"Yahoo! We made it in!" Jane cheered- as Trent drove the Tank in the direction of the Employee Parking Lot.

"But can we make it out- and with Dad?" Daria asked.

" According the website Ethan helped us crash, Jake's in Room 345- so we'll find an extra large wheeled empty trash cart in the loading dock and bring it to Jake's Room, then put him in there. Trent- at 5:05, you drive to the Loading Dock and we'll make our escape there!" Jane reiterated.

"Shouldn't we wait for Ethan?" Quinn asked as she, Daria, Jane and Ted climbed out the Tank before Trent parked it.

"No need! Look up!" Ted beamed as he nudged Daria who motioned the others to look up on the roof.

"I don't believe this," Jane gulped in awe.

Ethan was on the roof of the 5 story building and waved to them before climbing 50 feet down to the ground in 10 seconds- gripping the bricks and mortar with only his fingers and toes then walked towards the stunned group.

"Some insurance, Ted!" Ethan nonchalantly stated as he walked up then handed Ted a microcasette.

"Great job, amigo! Here's your ID!" Ted beamed.

" Thanks! I've shorted out the electric lock of the small door next to the Loading Dock. We can take the Freight Elevator to the 3rd Floor and pick up Mr. Morgendorffer there," Ethan insisted- as he let them inside and put on a set of red LaStraw Institute Scrubs over his clothes just inside the door.

"How about getting inside the room?" Daria asked.

" Not so easy from the inside. Combination button-lock!" Ethan explained.

"I can work out the code for that!" Jane insisted.

"That's great,Jane! Remember,if we don't break Mr. Morgendorffer outta here now, you'll never see him alive!"Ethan insisted- as he shoved a large empty wheeled laundry cart.

With Jane,Daria and Quinn struggling to keep their oversized cornsilk wigs on,the five of them set out for Jake's room. They passed by several nurses and cleaning crew people who took them to be one of their own as they every so often put in laundry and trash from the receptacles into the cart before taking the elevator to the 3rd Floor. Ted appeared to be a nurse's aide and appeared to be leading a patient (Ethan) 'back to his room' as far as the passerby were concerned. They made it to 345, then Jane played with the buttons before hitting the correct combination a minute later- opening the door and letting Daria inside.

Jake was in red scrubs with the LaStraw Insitute logo stamp. Jake was sitting on the floor staring blankly ahead. He had four days of beard growth,looked a little thinner and with a Band-AidÒ on his right arm but otherwise unchanged from four days before. The room reeked of human waste and filth and was empty but for a detached IV bag- and set of headsets that were still playing

"Dad?" Daria asked with a gulp as she quickly hugged him but didn't feel a response.

" Guys! Get in here!" Daria gulped- as she heard the cart suddenly scurry away.

"Great, now we're both stuck in the nuthouse. Another nightmare come true," Daria groaned.

Daria picked up the earphones.

"My name is Jake Grophendorker! I'm fortysomething. I'm loved by my wife Helen and have two daughters. My name is Jake Grophendorker. ." the headphones played on a loop.

"Mr. O'Neill taped this! I should have known! No wonder you aren't any better," Daria groaned as she patted Jake's head.

Jake looked blankly ahead.

"Please no, Daddy! Mom-mee?" Jake yelped in that childish voice- as Daria looked at her watch.

" Hmm, I'll have to see if you do it again in 37 minutes. Your hair's wet! Someone must have showered and changed you recently. Dad there's so much I've wanted to tell you all these years. I know I put you down and make like you're nothing but. . you're everything to our family- to me! I never let myself be a child but you've never let yourself be an adult. Dad, maybe you can't hear me but I miss who you were! You've been our heart and we're flying apart without you. I'll do my best to make you well again. I promise!" Daria exclaimed with a tear and hugged him again.

"Jane, why are you pushing the cart away from Dad's room?" Quinn hissed while vainly trying to pull it back.

"I'm telling you, that guard is walking towards us!" Jane insisted.

"Ethan? Where are you?" Quinn gulped- as she, Jane and Ted clung to the cart.

"Say, don't I know you?"the guard asked.

"No, sir! My name's Christina Bergman and I just got off the plane from Stockholm!" Jane replied- in a Swedish accent.

"So, you're putting yourself through school doing our dirty work. The name's Nathan Grubb," Nathan (yes, Jane's onetime beau) insisted.

"Ya, Mr. Grubb! We're actually Swedish massagers.How do you do?" Jane asked-in that Swedish accent.

"All my friend call me Nathan! What's your friend's name?" Nathan asked as he came towards Quinn.

"Her name's Helga but she doesn't speak any English!" Jane quickly replied in that Swedish accent while Quinn dumbly nodded.

"What funny wigs you two are wearing! Harvest festival?" Nathan laughed.

"Oh, no, sir! We fell asleep in a sauna and burned our hair on the hot rocks so we're wearing these until it grows back!" Jane replied in the Swedish accent.

"Well, if either or both of you want to have a swinging time, Nathan's the name!" Nathan gloated as he left.

The second Nathan rounded the corner, one of the ceiling panels was pulled away- by Ethan who, in a single motion, gripped the ceiling panel frame, let himself down then dropped to the floor eight feet below the ceiling.

"What the Hell was that about?" Jane hissed.

" I can't let him see me! Not here!" Ethan whispered .

"He's got his reasons," Ted added.

"We need to get back to Daria and Dad!" Quinn insisted- as she found an empty (and clean) trash cart which Ethan climbed inside.

They went back to Jake's room then Jane opened the door while the others scurried inside.

"What happened?" Daria asked.

"We ran into an old foe!" Jane gulped.

"They wired Dad's ears to Mr. O'Neil's voice. No wonder he's shown no signs of improvement- and they didn't dry his hair after they showered him," Daria groaned.

"The tape's the least of Mr. Morgendorffer's worries. I'll explain when we get him out of here. Sorry about the hair but there was no time to dry it," Ethan explained.

"You mean, you showered and. .." Quinn asked.

"His hair was all matted and he was filthy. I don't think they'd bothered to do more than feed him the whole time he's been here!" Ethan shuddered.

"You changed and cleaned him for us?" Quinn beamed.

"I've had to clean up my Dad a few times when he couldn't and I need the practice," Ethan shrugged.

"Let's go!" Daria insisted as Ethan quickly placed the unresponsive Jake into the trash cart and closed the lid then climbed inside.

They wordlessly made it to the elevator, then rolled it down the corridor until. .

"Oh, Christina! Helga!" Nathan called out.

"Ya, what is it, Mr. Grubb?" Jane asked-in that Swedish accent.

"You're going towards the Laundry Room! The Dumpster's this way! Care to introduce me to your other friend?" Nathan asked- as Daria instantly took off her glasses.

"This is Marta. She's one of my collegues visiting from Norway!" Ted exclaimed.

"Funny, she has the same kind of wig as the other two. Another sauna accident, right? You Viking girls kill me!" Nathan sneered as he opened the door out to the Loading Dock.

Trent managed to make it to the Loading Dock and Ethan climbed out to instantly unload Jake from the trash cart into the Tank while quickly scurrying out the door themselves.

"Great work, guys! We need to get him off the grounds FAST!" Trent pondered as he revved the motor.

"Wait! If you gun the motor, they'll think you're trying to escape! Wait till we're outside the gate to hotfoot it!" Ted insisted as he and the others crouched down in the back of the Tank away from the windows.

"Alternate plan, I like that!" Trent beamed.

"Halt! Your vehicle just arrived here 20 minutes ago! Why are you leaving so soon?" the guard asked at the Gate while everyone but

"Um.. I decided I didn't like it here so I. . .um. . quit," Trent replied.

"Very well, carry on!" the guard insisted as he let them through.

Back on Easterly Trace. .Trent's passengers had doffed their LaStraw garb.

"Ethan, how did you beat us here? " Jane asked.

"By foot," Ethan shrugged.

"But it's ten miles from Dad's office!" Quinn gasped.

"And how did you get inside the grounds? Did that fresh ditch under the fence have something to do with it?" Daria asked.

"You got it," Ethan shrugged.

"Ethan's been climbing sheer cliffs hundreds of feet tall daily since he was a little kid!" Ted exclaimed.

" But last time they visited, Mr. Yeager said Ethan would start rock climbing," Quinn insisted.

" With all due respect to them, the Yeager parents aren't the sharpest rocks in the creek! You never know what talent Ethan's going to hone next!" Ted beamed in awe.

"Say, how did you two become collegues? Was it after you built your PC?" Quinn asked.

"We grew up together outside Taos! My folks liked his folks' hammocks and his folks like my folks' corn!" Ted insisted.

"I never would have thought you two would have had anything in common,"Jane pondered.

"Oh, our farms were only twelve miles apart and we both were homeschooled! "Ted replied.

"Yeah, and I usually went to his folks' homeschool! No gum was a small price to pay for no shoes!" Ethan insisted.

"Jane, Ted's folks were agrarian survivalists while Ethan's were hippy survivalists- and I'll bet there weren't too many other kids in Taos who could relate," Daria surmised.

"A lot more there than in Lawndale but she sure catches on quick!" Ted laughed.

"I told ya!" Ethan insisted as he gave Ted a high-five.

"So's that van!" Daria gulped.

"Eeep! The Birthday Buckaroos Van! The one that took Dad away! That guard driving it was the one inside- Nathan Grubb! I thought he looked like that slimy toad on that greeting card you asked me about, Jane!" Quinn shuddered.

"Let's roll!" Trent insisted as he put the Tank into a new gear and suddenly, they went from 30 to 60MPH in five seconds.

"Amazing! " Jane said in awe.

"Yeah, maybe I oughta let more folks sleep in the garage in exchange for repairs!" Trent beamed while nodding at Ethan.

" But didn't your Dad repair the Beetle when you came here last time?" Quinn asked.

"I was totally bummed out during that time! Between my girlfriend Gia and I having a major blowout and my best friend moving away, I never wanted to go back to Taos so I fixed the Beetle to get us to Lawndale but told Dad if he wanted to go back, he could fix it himself!" Ethan explained.

"Just before that trip he'd replanted our entire corn,beans and squash crops into hundreds of clay pots to get them ready for the move!" Ted recalled.

"So that's why he wanted to sleep past noon the next day," Quinn considered.

" Ted, you knew you were coming here then?" Daria asked.

"Nah, not til we got to the Lawndale County Line did Dad tell me where we'd be moving to," Ted groaned.

"But why Lawndale?" Daria asked.

"More rain than Taos," Ted shrugged.

"Man, we're really putting our distance from the Birthday Van!" Trent beamed.

"What happened when you got back to Taos?" Daria asked.

"I found out life can change for the better when we least expect it," Ethan replied.

"Yeah, and now you're back here and we can finally get to know each other!" Jane beamed-while wrapping her arm around Ethan's shoulders.

"Uh, Janey, I don't think you oughta mess with. .." Trent gulped.

"What's the matter? You're afraid that he'd upset our family's bumhood quota?" Jane snapped.

"Not exactly but. ." Trent started to say.

"What's that noise?" Quinn gasped.

"That's the Tank's tank getting empty. Man, Ethan! I thought you said you fixed her up!" Trent groaned.

"I did but you told me you were going to get gas," Ethan replied as the Tank's sputtering grew louder.

"I thought if you could fix everything else, you could fix her so she wouldn't need gas!" Trent groaned.

" I'm not quite there,""Ethan replied.

" Trent, we've got another mile before she runs out completely," Jane surmised.

"I'm pulling her onto the Ringstrasse. There's a Guzzle 'n' Gulp on the corner of East Main just three-fourths of a mile away!" Trent insisted as he pulled the Tank onto the Ringstrasse.

"But we'll be heading opposite of our goal!" Quinn whined.

"And we're in the middle of Rush Hour and it's already bumper-to-bumper crawl! We'll never make it there in time!" Jane groaned.

"When did they build this Ringstrasse?" Ethan asked.

"It's a loop they just started a year ago and no one's updated the online or printed maps. Of course, no one here likes it so maybe everyone's hoping that if it's not on a map, it'll go away!"Daria explained.

"Not as certain as would a sabotaging explosion," Jane pondered.

At the Lawndale Airport, Helen had returned from the State Capitol and had stepped off her plane then gotten back inside her SUV and decided to play her voicemail before starting the drive back home.

"This is Ms. Angela Li- Principal at Lawndale High! I tried getting you through your receptionist but she told me you were arguing a case in the State Capitol and you were sequestered so I've left a message on your Voice Mail. I have some very bad news about your daughter Quinn. She left the campus sometime between Noon and 12:15 without permission and has been charged with Truancy. She will be have at-school suspension for one week's time. If you see her, call me at my cell phone number at once! Oh, and tell your other daughter Daria that I hope her stomach ailment's not contagious," Ms. Li snapped on the voice mail.

"Oh, I'm going to send Quinn to Juvie for this - if she survives me tonight," Helen boiled.

"Mom, it's Daria. I left school early because of a stomach bug but I'm feeling better so I've gone to Jane's to study," Daria insisted on the voice mail.

"At least I know one of them is safe," Helen sighed as she turned on the ignition.

"Whoa! That truck almost ran us off the road!" Trent gulped as a tanker truck zoomed by the median atop the lane under construction to their right.

"Guzzle n' Gulp Gasoline? He's driving like a maniac on the unsurfaced lane!" Jane screamed- having read the logo.

"Here comes another one!" Ted yelled as Trent barely was able to get out of the way without crashing into oncoming traffic going the opposite direction while a large 18-wheeler with 'Kid Dynamite and Blasting' zoomed behind them- with a police motorcycle in hot pursuit.

"What kind of idiots drive hazardous materials like demolition derby-ists in congested rush hour traffic?" Jane asked.

" I think I know, "Daria groaned- as she was able to see the two trucks mow over the orange construction barrels – past the Hot Tar sign.

The two vehicles soon got their wheels bogged down in the hot tar and were unable to move just as the dynamite truck clipped the gas tank of the gasoline tanker. This caused gallons of gasoline to pour out of the smaller tank and catch afire from the hot tar which seconds later caused a fire to erupt in the tanker truck itself. At 5:18PM, all of Lawndale heard a very loud explosion- the gasoline truck driver having barely had time to run outside his vehicle to behind a concrete barracade where he was joined by the other, the dynamite truck driver- both having run through the hot tar that had bogged down both vehicles.

"Fire.Cool!" said one.

The gasoline truck was nothing more than a molten frame but the explosion was enough to cause the 100 tons of dynamite in the other to explode at 5:19PM. An even huger explosion resulted- appearing to be a fireball visible for miles around. It wiped out the Ringstrasse's East Main Street Overpass in the process. Luckily, though windshields for several hundred yards in all directions sustained cracks and everyone reported their ears temporarily ringing after these explosions, there were no injuries nor were any other vehicles irreparably harmed- even though the latter explosion caused the ground to shake for half a second for five miles around.

"Hey, Man! My explosion's bigger than yours!" said the other.

"No way, Beavis!" said the first.

Among the results of that jolt was the calculator in Daria's backpack shifting just enough to unbalance the load- causing it to tumble down the Lane Basement stairwell.

Needless to say, in a matter of minutes, traffic came to an grinding halt in all areas of Lawndale radiating out from the busiest section of the Ringstrasse and East Main..

"What the Hell was that!?"Jane asked.

"Is everyone alright?" Trent asked as they held onto each other after the Tank finished its jolt.

"We're all fine! Dad's lucky he's not awake or he'd be all jittery right now," Quinn ruefully sighed as she smoothed the catatonic Jake's brow.

" Hey, I think traffic's totally stopped- and we may be here for awhile,"Ethan surmised- as he reached from behind the passenger's seat then picked up andlooked through a tiny pair of binoculars attached to dental floss.

" How do you know?" Jane asked.

" Oh, this is another one of Ethan's inventions! It's a traffic periscope. He put the main lens atop Trent's antenna and he can rotate it 360 just by turning that knob in his hand. It looks no bigger than a pinhead on top but it has the full range of the human eye!" Ted beamed while Ethan shrugged.

" Will wonders ever cease?" Quinn sighed while attempting to lean on Ethan before Jane pulled her off.

"Say, Jane! I wanted to tell you it was sheer genius coming up with that Swedish accent back there," Ted exclaimed.

"Yeah, and it quite authentic,too! Where'd you pick it up?" Ethan asked.

"Oh, that's something I got from my maternal Grandma- Ingrid Lindstrom Aranda. You wore her nightgown that night you stayed with us, Daria," Jane recalled.

"I thought it was your Grandma Lane's," Daria pondered.

"Are you kidding?! Grandma Lane never set foot in our Casa- and she always stayed with Aunt Bernice when she came to our area. Besides, Grandma Aranda kept her figure better- and that's where Mom got her looks," Jane nodded.

"That's good to know," Ethan considered.

"I'm surprised your Grandma Aranda didn't miss the nightgown," Daria pondered.

"Well, I'm sure Grandpa hasn't! Those two still have atomic chemistry even after 61 years!" Jane laughed.

" Janey doing the Swedish accent. I'd have loved to been there," Trent laughed.

"Speaking of foreign intrigue, you wouldn't happen to know anything about a New Zealand exchange student,right?" Jane laughed.

"Yeah, I heard Ms. Li berating the security guard over him, too!" Daria recalled.

" Oh, yeah, I'd been getting some supplies for the project from the used cable heap when. .." Ethan started to explain.

"Young man, where are you going with that?" Ms. Li sniffed at seeing Ethan with the large quantity of discarded computer wiring.

"It's for a project, ma'am," Ethan shrugged.

"And your lack of footwear?" Ms. Li continued.

"We Kiwis don't wear shoes to school, " Ethan explained.

"But you don't have a New Zealand accent," Ms. Li insisted.

" I've had French schooling," Ethan added as he walked away.

"Oh," Ms. Li replied- somewhat satisfied.

"Oh, Ethan, I could listen to your wit all day!" Quinn cooed- earning her Jane's evil eye.

"Uh, Quinn, you need to cool it with Ethan," Ted gulped.

"Damn! The Tank's tank tanked!" Jane groaned.

" You mean, we can't get to Guzzle n' Gulp?" Quinn panicked.

" Even if that overpass survived that blast, I doubt we'd make it there anytime soon,"Jane surmised.

"Well, we can't just sit here!" Quinn insisted.

"The LaStraw goons drove in the other direction, I saw them just before traffic. ." Ted started to say.

"Oh, and you think they won't take advantage of this snarl to catch up to us on foot, pick us off like sitting ducks and cart Mr. Morgendorffer back?" Jane asked.

"Jane's right," Daria added.

"Please Daddy, no! Mom-mee?!" Jake sputtered- 37 minutes after last time.

"It's okay, Dad," Quinn sighed as she stroked his hair.

"I have no problems carrying him," Ethan shrugged.

"That would draw unwanted attention. We need to think of a way to hide Dad while getting him out of here,"Daria pondered.

" How about the trunk?" Jane insisted.

"Whoa! Janey, that trunk's got all kinds of band equipment and it would be too bulky for Ethan to put on one shoulder," Trent groaned.

"No what I meant was what about the carpet underneath it? It looks as though there's enough to roll Mr. Morgendorffer inside it then Ethan could carry him in it!" Jane insisted.

"Say, you didn't have it when you dropped us off at that Camp reunion!" Quinn snapped.

"Monique got it a week later. Don't ask!" warned Trent.

" I could go back to my place to get the gadgets from Trent's Plymouth then meet everyone back at the rendevous point at nine," Ted pondered.

"I thought you'd have brought everything with you!" Quinn sniffed.

"If there's anything we've learned growing up on farms is not to put all the eggs in one basket!" Ethan laughed joined by Ted.

" I guess we could do that. You all go on without me, I've got to stay here with the Tank," Trent groaned.

"You can come with us!" Daria suggested.

"No, I've gotten you as far as I can without dragging you kids down. Go on without me," Trent groaned.

"But. ." Daria started to say.

"I envy Mr. M. He may be stuck at six but he's where his old man's protecting him from everything else in the world," Trent surmised.

"But. .he's always been afraid of his Dad," Jane replied.

"Yeah, but when he was six, he thought his Dad was the worst thing that could happen and that his Dad would protecting him from everything else. It was security. I can't ever remember having that- not even as a baby," Trent groaned while Jane looked a bit troubled herself.

"But Trent, you've done so much for us. Letting us set everything up in your garage. ." Ethan insisted.

"It's not my garage, Man! It belongs to my folks. Same with the house. I'm 22 and I don't have anything to show for myself," Trent groaned.

"Trent, you've psyched us up instead of shooting down our plans and we've come a lot closer than we would have if you hadn't done your best to help!" Ted insisted.

"Yeah, you'll always be cool with us! So, were you also lying when you said the house was too polluted with paint fumes?" Ethan asked.

"Oh, yeah!"Jane fumed while Trent nodded his head.

"Ted, how did you get your parents to let Trent park the Plymouth in your yard?" Daria asked.

"It's an even better scarecrow than Trent!" Ted laughed while he, Ethan, Jane, Daria and Quinn all banged Trent's shoulder which finally prompted a smile.

"We'll have to abandon the Tank for now. It won't be long before the LaStraw goons squeal to Lawndale's finest and then they'd be using the Tank as bait," Ethan pondered.

"But I thought you said we were going to call the police," Ted insisted.

"When the time's right, yeah but right now, the Tank'll have to throw them off our trail," Ethan insisted.

A minute later, with Jake rolled up in the carpet, the group left the Tank- having steered and pushed it as far to the right of the lane as possible and leaving the warning lights on.

" I hate to leave her like this, "Trent groaned as he patted the Tank's hood.

"Don't worry! I'll make things right with her," Ethan insisted- as he hoisted the rolled-up Jake onto his right shoulder.

"Bro, you're the coolest!" Trent gulped- as they waved the Tank goodbye while Ted departed the others.

"Ooh! Surely Eric can keep me out of prison if I.. HELP!!" Helen screamed as she slammed on her brakes, barely able to stop her SUV from plowing into the back of a stopped camper as the Airport Highway's traffic was at a standstill- as a result of the Ringstrasse's megasnarl- then listened to the traffic report.

" Morgendorffer, why didn't you listen to it earlier? Where did all these other cars come from? What idiots would make the congestion worse just to see an overpass bridge and two trucks in flames?" Helen seethed.

"How long before we get to the crash site, Kevvie?" Brittany asked as his Jeep inches along.

" If we're five miles away and it takes us an hour to move a mile. We should get there in ten minutes!" Kevin exclaimed.

"If only the IMPACT of matheMATICS had made as MUCH of one on your BRAIN as the EXPLOSION!" Mr. DiMartino exploded in back seat.

"The Louisiana Purchase?" Kevin replied which sent Mr. DiMartino into tears.

"Don't worry, Mr. DiMartino. We should be able to drop you off at your house before tomorrow's classes! " Brittany beamed.

"Yeah, we're happy to help out as long as your mechanic's taking care of your drive shaft," Kevin added.

"WHY couldn't the PLANNERS have put in a SUBWAY instead of this BELTWAY? And I don't wanna THINK about all the OVERTIME it'll take to pay off everything," Mr. DiMartino sobbed.

"Ooh! This impasse is keeping me from finding Ka-Winn for that coupon half- and I'm don't think all this extra carbon monoxide is good for my complexion. At least I'm not alone," Sandi seethed as she,too, was stuck in the Ringstrasse gridlock.

"I'm glad we're finally walking on a street with sidewalks,"Daria insisted a little while later.

"And since just about every cop in town's taking care of the snarl, that takes some of the heat off us!"Jane added.

"It's almost seven!" Quinn gulped.

" We need to find a shelter soon," Trent considered.

"We could turn in here," Ethan pondered.

"On Dega Street?! Weirdoville?!" Quinn gasped.

"Can you think of anywhere better for us to blend in?" Daria asked.

Quinn looked at Daria, Jane and Trent in their usual attires as well as the barefoot, hippy-garbed Ethan carrying the rolled-up carpet concealing Jake and nodded.

"Point taken but if any popular people. .. " Quinn started to warn.

"We can dis them on their alibis!" Daria snapped.

"Hmm, I think we're close enough for the Charm to see us through," Trent pondered while stroking his goatee.

"I don't know if it's good timing," Daria questioned.

"And shouldn't we have called?" Jane asked.

"Nah, if it's meant to be, it's gotta be spontaneous!" Trent insisted.

"What are you three talking about? Oh, please, tell me you three aren't into narcoleptics,"Quinn gulped.

"That's narcotics! No, but we've got our own vibe!" Daria teased as the five of them neared Axl's Piercings and Tattoos noticing a white and washing-machine green colored DeSoto in the front.

"Wait a minute! We're going in there?" Quinn gasped.

"It's where the Charm is, Man!" Trent laughed and coughed.

"Yeah," Ethan insisted.

"You've all been here?" Quinn asked.

"I haven't but I've heard about it!" Ethan shrugged as they went inside the piercing parlour- with Billy Idol's 'Flesh for Fantasy' on the audible on the speakers.

"We're seekers of the Charm. ." Trent started to say.

"Hey! I don't allow his kind in here!" Axl snarled as he glared and pointed at Ethan's bare feet.

" What? But I'm here for. .." Ethan started to say.

"But you didn't ask for IDs or nothing when .. someone came in for a piercing," Trent gulped as he and Daria gave each other a glance.

"I ain't having no footnik steppin' on somethin' then framin' me fer their hepititus! Out!" Axl snarled.

"We don't want any more trouble, " Daria sighed.

"It's cool! Ted could use my help with the gadgets," Ethan shrugged.

"I can go with you!" Quinn pleaded.

"Nah, it's best you stay here. We'll meet when you're needed again," Ethan insisted as he put the rolled up carpet concealing Jake onto the floor then walked out of the store to Quinn's and Jane's dismay.