Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha. There was a brief period of time in which I owned Totosai, but that was a weird time in my life that I'd rather not recall. –Matt
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InuYasha Discovers Herbal Essences
by Matt Garner
Chapter 1
The Past Stinks
"C'mon, Kagome!" InuYasha huffed while in his usual pouty position: Arms and legs crossed, bottom lip poked out. "I'd like to get back on Naraku's trail some time TODAY..."
From the lake, which InuYasha had been courteous enough to turn his back to, came the reply "I'm coming, I'm coming! I'm getting dressed right now!"
Now dressed and still drying her hair, Kagome walked up behind InuYasha and stated "You know, it wouldn't hurt you to take a bath once in a while, InuYasha!"
"WHAT?" the half-demon barked, hopping to his feet, "Hey! I bathe! I just don't take weeks at a time to do it like YOU do!"
"Hmmph! Well maybe you should! At least then you'd smell better!"
"What's THAT supposed to mean?" he snarled, one eyebrow raised in false threat.
"It means," Kagome curtly explained, arms folded, "That you smell like a mangy, stray dog! Especially your hair!" she added with a sniff. "Couldn't you at least try using some soap or shampoo for once?"
InuYasha's golden eyes blinked in confusion.
"Sh-shammm-poo?" he questioned, furry ears twitching curiously.
Kagome squeaked with embarrassment.
"Oh! Silly me!" she laughed, her cheeks a bright pink, "I forgot you don't have that yet! I'll have to bring you some from the future!"
"Hmmph, yeah, I guess so..." he said grumpily, folding his arms once more and closing his eyes. "If you're such a baby thatcha' can't even be around me without it..." Opening his eyes again, InuYasha realized that the Japanese teenager was nowhere to be found. "Huh? H-hey! Kagome! Where'd you go? Arrgh!"
Chapter 2
The Urge to Herbal
(or "Matt Throws His Reputation Out the Window")
Clad in a bikini, Kagome stood in the lake with her hands on her hips and grumbled at the stubborn hanyou who was standing on the shore and defensively dipping his toes into the water as if he were afraid of it attacking him.
"InuYasha! Quit being such a baby and just get in the water already!"
"Hold yer horses!" he shrieked back at her, "That water's cold and it's even worse when my clothes get wet!"
"Well I offered you a pair of swimming trunks, but NOOOOOOooooo... You wouldn't wear them!"
Now it was InuYasha's turn to blush (somewhat angrily). He pointed to the "trunks" (which much more closely resembled a speedo) and screamed "I ain't wearin' somethin' like that in front of you! The people of the future have an important lesson to learn about modesty!"
"You never said anything about my bathing suit!" she called back with increasing annoyance.
Darting his eyes around and blushing, InuYasha muttered something along the lines of "Yeah, well, that's different..."
Already frustrated with InuYasha's mulish behavior (and mad that she couldn't get him into a revealing pair of "shorts"), Kagome grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him into the lake. InuYasha squealed like a little girl and glared daggers at her while sitting drenched in chilly water.
"Okay, so what NOW, Miss Queen-of-Hygiene?"
"Here," she said, picking up the bottle of shampoo, "This stuff is called 'Herbal Essences'..."
"I thought you said it was called 'shampoo'?"
"It is..."
"Then whydja' call it 'Her--"
"Nevermind, here..."
InuYasha snarled childishly as Kagome squirted shampoo into his silvery hair.
"HEY!"
"Stop fidgeting around, InuYasha!" she sighed, "And close your eyes or you'll get shampoo in them and that REALLY stings..."
"I don't see what's so great about puttin' flowery-smellin' slime in yer hair that makes yer eyes sting..." he complained, though the sensation of Kagome's fingers running through his hair was rather soothing... BUT DON'T TELLER HE THOUGHT SO OR HE'LL HAFTA' BEATCHA UP SO BAD IT WON'T EVEN BE FUNNY!
"What's 'so great' about it is that it'll make you smell good," Kagome explained in a happier tone than she had been using previously.
Wrinkling his nose in distaste, he whined "Yeah, I'll smell like a woman. Don't sound that great to me..."
But just then, something strange happened. A funny tingling sensation seemed to run through InuYasha's scalp, making his ears twitch.
"Hey, whaddaya' doin', Kagome?" his voice squeaked awkwardly.
"Washing your hair..." Kagome answered with a look of confusion in her deep brown eyes.
"No, not that, I mean..." Now that odd tingling decided to run down his spine and make his ears twitch even more while he took a deep breath and made an "eeEEEeeeEEE..." sound.
Kagome blinked and raised an eyebrow. That was certainly weird! But it got even weirder (and creepier) as the dog-eared boy continued to make the sort of sounds she had only heard him make in certain dreams--I mean... You didn't hear anything from me!
Meanwhile, InuYasha shivered and made "weird" sounds as he was overcome with a pleasantly unsettling sensation that he had only experienced before in a few choice dreams about Kikyo... or Kagom--OKAY, OKAY! You get the idea!
Blushing fiercely, Kagome cleared her throat and stammered "Uh... I-InuYasha?"
She was cut short by the boy screaming "I LOVE YOU!"
"InuYasha!" Kagome gasped, her face now a bright cherry red. "I... I didn't know you cared!"
"NO! NOT YOU!" he snapped with a wild look in his eyes. He then grabbed the bottle of shampoo and nuzzled it lovingly, with a smile of pure contentment on his face. "YouuUuuUuuUuuuu..."
Kagome half-closed her eyes and stuck out her lip. "Okay, okay, smart guy... Gimme the bottle back..."
"NEVER!" InuYasha screamed, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
And with that, he dashed off, still clutching the bottle of shampoo and screaming "Behold my power!"
Kagome stared, wide-eyed at him and groaned "I think I've created a monster..."
