Chapter Four - Trowa

"""I once had a home. Or so I'd like to believe at least. In
reality, I've never had one. The lab where I woke up certainly
wasn't home, and living on the street didn't exactly inspire any
homey feelings. Neither did living in an orphanage seem like
having a home. It was more like a temporary resting place. For
most of the kids it was at least. For me, it was a place where I
was doomed to stay until I was legal. As you should know by
now, it sadly enough didn't end that way. But then again, is
there even such a thing as a happy ending? I'm seriously
starting to doubt that's the case.

The reason for my little ramble above is a rather obvious one.
At least in my opinion. People who don't know me probably
won't understand a shit though. But to spell it out nice and
easy for those people who don't know of Duo Maxwell, it's all
about the rejection from the colonies. The way they
abandoned us to believe in OZ, instead of the Fanatical Free
the Colonies Association and their 'terrorize the Earth' plan
Operation Meteor. I sound bitter about both associations?
Well no kidding. The FFCA wanted us to take up the
profession mass murdering. The colonies decided not to give
a rat's ass about the ones fighting for their freedom. Excuse
me for not liking any of them very much.

Anyway, when the very official statement came, I wasn't very
surprised. I mean what can you expect from a group of
leaders sitting on their asses in fancy mansions while the street
kids are fighting to survive? The answer is everything. The
others weren't as cynical as I was though. Those I was in
contact with at the moment were rather surprised I believe. I'll
have to give them points for their spirit though. No
spontaneous decisions to stop fighting or anything.
Impressive. It took some time for me though to decide on
continuing to fight. It wasn't my fight from the beginning
anyway. But what wouldn't you do for your pals?

From that moment and on, I didn't really fight for the colonies.
I fought for the believes of my fellow pilots. I'll never tell them
though. They would put me at a mental asylum faster than I
can say Deathscythe."""




January 7 AC 197

Notes for day thirteen of peace. I never thought that
peace was essential for living. Now I know it isn't. But it helps
when it comes to prolonging your life. So I believe I could
learn to live with it. Saying this doesn't mean I support total
pacifism though. I'll leave that to Relena Peacecraft and her
followers. It's just that I've come to the realization that if the
war had continued, the woman I consider my sister most
probably would be dead right now. A very disconcerting
thought. So I believe I can learn to like peace. It is still left to see
if I can learn how to live with it. Personally, I'll have to say it will
be a long journey.

It's nice to have a place to call home again. The fact that it's a
moving one doesn't face me a bit. That's the way I've lived my
whole life after all, and I find it comforting. Which I keep telling
Catherine when she worries about that it may not be healthy
for me to move so much. What I don't tell her is that it also
satisfies my other requirement when it comes to a home. That
it doesn't stay in one place very long for security reasons. I
have a feeling that she would buy us an apartment rather
soon after that. So I don't mention it. I haven't got the same
qualms about lying as Duo after all. And thank Heavyarms for
that.

I work as a lion tamer now, as well as an acrobat. And I don't
wear the clown dress any more. My new costume is more
flexible. I've even managed to figure out how to be able to
hide a gun within it. Heero's spandex shorts during the war
suddenly seem so much more logical. The material is very
stretchable. It isn't suitable for anyone with an appearance
complex though. It shows everything.

I miss Quatre. I don't think I should, but the heart doesn't take
lessons in logic I've noticed. And my heart yearns for my
blonde Arab. That to the degree that Catherine keeps asking
which girl that has caught my notice. I don't think she'd take it
very well if I told her it is a male and a fellow pilot. In fact, she
would most likely decide to relocate us to the Mars project to
get as far away from everyone as possible. I don't think I'll
allow her to guide me in this matter though.

End of the notes for today.


Trowa.





I don't look up from my sewing at the knock, as I already
know it will be Catherine. Instead I calmly continue doing the
last stitching on my training outfit. Lions are rather playful
when satiated.

"Enter," I say as I easily drive the needle through the thick
material. Lions have sharp claws as well.

Catherine softly enters my trailer, looking at me sewing for a
moment before speaking.

"You've never told me where you learned how to sew," she
casually comments, looking deceptively nonchalant. When
Catherine speaks in that manner, she won't stop asking. I
don't say anything for a moment as I finish up the stitching
and fold the cloth before putting it away.

"The mercenaries," I silently say, leaving it up to her to catch
my soft words. "Money didn't come around often."

As you've probably noticed, my word quota for the day has
increased from five to slightly more. Catherine calls it an
improvement. I call it an adaptation to the situation. In
peacetime I don't have to worry about enemy spies.

"Oh." Catherine doesn't like to be reminded about my past.
She is a devoted follower of Relena Peacecraft's ideology.
"Well, I came to remind you about the party tonight. Sarah
looks forwards to seeing you."

As all older sisters, Catherine likes to set me up with girls. This
Sarah is her latest attempt. My evading manoeuvre is to go to
the party, listen to the chosen girl's chatter for a minute or two
and then escape into a corner. Another example of how the
standard military movements can be adapted to fit your social
life.

"Aah," I answer Catherine, as I know she expects an answer.
Now she'll be content and go back to talking about the newly
decided route for the circus this year. I do enjoy my sister's
company as long as she acts like a normal person and doesn't
try on the role of the mother hen. But then again, that's the
normal behaviour of females.

When we an hour or two later are walking towards the
apartment where the party are being held, I'm surprised to
notice the amount of guests arriving. It's not usual for the
parties Catherine brings me to; it's usually only twenty or so
persons at those. These have to be at least seventy. My sister
seems surprised as well.

"Oh God," she mumbles. "I got the impression it was only
going to be us and a couple of others."

She doesn't seem too bothered though. I'm not sure if I
should be bothered or not. At one side there's the fact that it
will be easier to disappear after all. But at the other side is the
fact that it will be much harder to secure the area. I solve the
problem by going into infiltration mode. If you cannot have
the ideal situation, you have to take the second best.

I almost slip out of my tactical mode when the door is opened
though. It isn't many things that can surprise me when I
am in infiltration mode, but meeting a fellow pilot at the party
of one of my sister's friends on a new, obscure colony
certainly is one. I adapt easily though and greet the person in
front of me casually with a discreet movement of my fingers,
thankful that I spent enough time with Duo during the war to
know that he can speak with his hands. He smiles
impersonally at me and signs a short 'wait'.

"Hello!" he enthusiastically says out loud. "I'm Shane, Sarah's
bestest pal in the whole world. You're Cathy, right?"

A perplexed Cathy nods and I smirk inwardly. She doesn't
recognize Duo. Not very surprising though, as his hair is an
unnaturally bright red for the evening. Is it my imagination, or
does he seem slightly out of it?

"Yes," she admits, smiling charmingly at Duo while fiddling
with her hair. I think she's interested in Duo. The braided baka
smiles back at her, but before anything can happen, a slender,
small blonde with pink strands in her hair shows up from
nowhere and glomps Catherine.

"Cathy!" she gushes while glaring irritatedly at Duo under her
eyelashes. She definitely knows him. "You came!"

I don't get to hear more as Duo promptly signs for me to
follow and keep quiet. He leads me through the probably
illegally crowded apartment to a bedroom with a balcony.
Walking out on it, he jumps onto the railing and gracefully
leaps to grab the balcony above and climb onto it like a
monkey. Pondering his agility, I follow and find myself
standing next to a smiling Duo who glomps at me much like
that woman did with Cathy earlier. Letting myself indulge for a
moment, I hug him too before stepping back and looking
questioningly at him. Duo shrugs bashfully and grins.

"Stealth equals being a monkey during some missions," he
says and stretches like a cat, making his joints pop alarmingly. I
simply nod, recalling some of those missions myself. Then I
step inside the apartment, sit down in a nondescript chair and
patiently wait for Duo to explain why he's here.

"A code Alpha Alpha Class One encrypted file containing
detailed information on an assassination attempt on Relena
has come into the hands of the Preventers. The strategy is of
class Alpha as well and uses level three technical
requirements. There is evidence of external plans as well. We
are needed again."

So it seems like I will meet Quatre earlier than I thought. I nod
and look at Duo.

"Which safe house have you stowed Relena in?" I ask, already
making plans on how to get there as unnoticeable as
possible.

"Beta V7" Duo answers, digging a thin notebook out of his
pocket and handing it to me. "All facts are in there, using code
CR438."

I take the book and casually stuff it down the front of my
pants. They're made in spandex.

"Heero?" I questioningly ask, knowing that both Wufei and
Quatre most likely already are involved. Besides, I'm well
aware that Duo and Heero keeps in contact constantly as
Heero told me during the Incident. I'm pretty sure they like
each other. Subconciously or not.

Duo nods, and then gives me a quick smile.

"Have to go now," he says. "I have a shuttle to catch in twenty
minutes."

Then he disappears. I don't even bother chastising myself for
not noticing. There's a reason he gets the stealth missions after
all.

Choosing to return to the party the normal way, I casually
walk through the apartment and jog down the stairs. My sister
won't be pleased by the way I will leave and not take her with
me, so she shouldn't have to deal with me climbing around
like a monkey on the outside of the building. Besides, once is
enough. Another time would betray me to an eventual spy.

Slinking through the door, I easily slide between clusters of
talking party guests and dancing couples on my way to
Catherine, who I know will be somewhere near the
refreshments table. She has a sweet tooth, but can't keep it
satisfied all the time due to our meagre account. Therefore,
she always takes advantage of the poor fools who have the
cash. A logical strategy, if a little cliché.

When I find her, she much like expected are standing by the
kitchenette snacking from a bowl with something disgustingly
sugary that no doubt will do a serious number on her body.
But civilians usually don't get extensive lessons on how to eat
right and keep healthy. And if they did, the diet most likely
wouldn't be aimed at inhibiting your growth.

Touching her arm lightly for a second, I call on her attention,
and when she turns towards me, I have already slipped into
mission mode. Her eyes widen as she sees the expression on
my face, she certainly seems to remember it.

"Trowa?" she says, her eyes questioning and hesitant as she
touches my shoulder in obvious worry. "What is it? You seem
so distant..."

Shaking off a faint feeling of guilt, I look dispassionately at her
and shrug her gentle touch off.

"Something has come up," I tell her, my voice cold and
impersonal. My Silencer voice. "I will leave for Earth with the
first shuttle available."

She launches herself at me then, crying bitter tears which
flows down her cheeks.

"No Trowa!" she sobs, clutching at me as if I'm her last lifeline.
"The war is over now, you're safe! You don't have to fight
anymore. This, whatever it is, has nothing to do with you
anymore!"

I let her clutch at me for a minute before more or less gently
loosening her grip on me and taking a step backwards to
look at her. Tipping her chin up so I can look into her eyes, I
give her a grave look.

"I have to," I simply say. "If it was anything less than what it is, I
would have stayed. As it is now, it's highly possible that we
pilots are the only ones standing between peace and another
war."

I learned long ago that the easiest way to calm Catherine is to
speak as much as possible. Right now, I'm using that and
every other technique I can think of to reassure Catherine and
get her blessing to go. Not because it's what she needs, but
because it's the most humane thing to do. And I need to be
human.

The change within my sister is almost tangible. She straightens
up and dries her eyes, meeting my gaze with her own, if a bit
shakily.

"Go, Trowa," she whispers, her eyes blank as she clench her
fist over her heart. "Go, and come back to me."

Using my best weapon and tool when it comes to Catherine, I
smile at her. But don't ever think it isn't a true smile. Because it
is. I may not always act human, but I do love. And with that, I
turn and walk away, promising myself in my still growing
heart to return to her.

***
Watching the tall ex-pilot walk away, the girl known as Sarah
flips open her cell and dials the number only few know of. At
the answer on the other side, the young woman smiles grimly
and gives the man a last look.

"Mission Accomplished," she teasingly says to the other side,
swaying her limber body to the music. "Do you want me to
tell the others so they can prepare for his arrival. Hm, yes,
there were spies attached. Two so far. Yes, I'll tell Cussy to take
care of it. Bye."

Depositing the cell in a pocket again, the blonde returned to
her party. It was time to neutralize a certain pilot's sister and
make sure that she didn't do anything stupid. An all too easy
mission with her resources.

Singing under her breath, Caramell snatched a bottle of
alcohole from a nearby table and made her way to Catherine
Bloom.

And she sang: "...but its seed has been sown and before you
know it has grown it has spread through your life like a stain,
and it's power will strangle your love and your joy and its
hunger consumes for it lives to destroy..."