Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything associated with Gilmore
Girls.
-Chapter 6-
Rory refused to look at Jess. "Why not? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She could hear Jess sigh.
"When I made that comment about you not liking anything fun, I didn't know it was going to cause a fight."
"Whatever Jess." She mumbled.
"No, I'm serious ok? I really didn't think you and Shane would go at it like that." Jess shifted to look at her.
Rory swallowed hard. "Because I'm too much of a goody-goody to say anything mean about anyone?"
"No, I just." He couldn't find the words to finish. "You managed to hold your own." Was what he opted to say instead.
"Yeah, well, she's not that bright." Crossing her arms across her chest, she gazed out across the black water.
"Her intelligence isn't why I date her." Jess agreed.
Rory finally turned to look at him. "I know all about why you date her." Her voice held a hint of anger. "You're such a jerk, Jess." Quickly, she stood and looked down at him. "Now I remember why I chose Dean over you. I can't believe I was stupid enough to ruin things with him." Shaking her head, she started walking away.
Her words stung him, but he wasn't about to let her get the last word. "You chose him because he was safe. He was safe and you were scared." By now, he too had gotten to his feet.
"What?" She spun around to look at him. "How do you figure that? And what am I so afraid of?"
"Me." He answered simply.
"Ha!"
Jess smirked in the darkness. "More importantly, you were afraid of your feelings for me."
"Oh, please. You are so conceited. You've never had that much power over me."
"Oh no? Then why did you stay with Dean for so long when you had feelings for me?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Because he was safe. You didn't have to worry about whether good old reliable bagboy was still drooling over you. But when we kissed, it was new for you. It was exciting and new and maybe a little dangerous and that scared you." His voice had risen almost to the point of yelling.
Rory found her voice rising as well. "It doesn't matter what I felt when we kissed, because you are a jerk. Plain and simple, Jess. I told you that I had feelings for you. I practically poured my heart out there for you, laid it all out there and what did you do? You turned around and walked away. That was a new feeling all right. But it wasn't exciting or dangerous, it was just painful. And then you come here and have the nerve to rub your and Shane's relationship in my face. Real nice, Jess."
"I didn't rub anything in your face."
Rory replied, mocking his tone, "Her intelligence isn't why I date her."
"I was only agreeing with you when you said she wasn't very bright. Your mind must be in the gutter, because I wasn't implying anything. But it's true, Shane isn't virtuous, she's a whole lot of fun."
"Glad to hear it."
Jess took a step in her direction. "You wanna talk about painful, Rory?" He asked, referring to her earlier statement. "Try having the girl of your dreams kiss you and then run away, because she can't stand the thought of cheating on her precious boyfriend. Try knowing that this person thought that this kiss, that meant so much to you, was just a mistake. Now that's painful, Rory."
"If that kiss meant so much to you, why the brush off? Why Shane? Explain it to me Jess. Please, Jess, explain to me why you're still with that bimbo and why you want nothing to do with me."
"Because I can't let you hurt me again. God, Rory, I couldn't stand it if you hurt me again."
"Who's scared now, Jess?" She asked.
"Shut-up, ok? Just shut-up." Before Rory could say anything else, Jess closed the distance between them and grabbed her arms. Leaning down, he placed a hard kiss on her lips and ran his tongue along her bottom lip, demanding entrance. She opened her mouth to him, and tilted her head to give him better access. The kiss clouded her mind, but when what was happening finally broke through the fog, she pushed him away.
"Stop, Jess." She whispered against his lips and pushed lightly at his chest. When he gazed down at her, her breath caught in her throat. "I can't."
The words cut through him and he stepped back. "I should have known." He snapped and brushed past her.
"Jess wait." He stopped a few feet from her, but couldn't bring himself to face her.
"What, Rory? What do you want now?"
Rory took a deep breath before explaining. She knew he would take those two little words the wrong way, but they had slipped out before she could think of anything better to say. "I mean that we can't right now." She paused, finding it hard to sort out the jumbled feelings she was having. "I'm not sorry you kissed me. Or that I kissed you back." She said softly and stared at his back. Finally, he turned around.
"I'm not sorry either."
"Good, it's just that, well, you were right." She smiled at him shyly.
"About what?" His brow furrowed in confusion.
Her shy smile remained. "I am afraid of you." At the expression on his face, she hurried on. "Not like that, not in a bad way. You probably already knew this, but I'm not very experienced. Dean was my first my boyfriend, first kiss, first love. And well, you are nothing like Dean."
"Thank God." Jess joked.
Rory rolled her eyes. "What I mean is, I got comfortable with Dean and I knew what to expect. You on the other hand, are full of surprises. I don't know what to expect and when I'm around you my self-control kind of goes out the window. Remember Sookie's wedding?" She asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "I couldn't stop myself from kissing you, just like I can't stop myself from falling for you. I'm just afraid that falling is going to hurt." She finally admitted.
Jess stepped towards her and took her hands in his. "I'd never hurt you."
"Not intentionally." Jess opened his mouth to speak again, but Rory stopped him with a shake of her head. "It happens, Jess. But I'm not going to let my fear of getting hurt get in between what I think we could have."
"I'm glad to hear that." He smiled, and Rory found it to be contagious.
After a short moment of silence, she asked a question she didn't really want to ask. "What about Shane?"
"What about her?" Jess inquired.
Rory frowned. "She is your girlfriend."
Jess stifled a laugh. The thought of actually having a relationship with Shane struck him as funny. "The truth?"
"It would be nice."
"I only used Shane to forget about you. You had Dean, so I got Shane to help me cope with that. But it didn't work, I was always thinking about you when I was with her."
The thought of Jess not being able to think of anyone but her made her feel warm all over, but she couldn't help but feel sorry for the other girl. "That's not very nice."
Jess smiled at her sweetness. "She was using me too. Neither of us had real feelings for the other."
"You never cared about her?" Rory looked up expectantly.
"Never." He assured her and lowered his lips to hers in a kiss so sweet it made her heart skip a beat.
-Chapter 6-
Rory refused to look at Jess. "Why not? Why can't you just leave me alone?" She could hear Jess sigh.
"When I made that comment about you not liking anything fun, I didn't know it was going to cause a fight."
"Whatever Jess." She mumbled.
"No, I'm serious ok? I really didn't think you and Shane would go at it like that." Jess shifted to look at her.
Rory swallowed hard. "Because I'm too much of a goody-goody to say anything mean about anyone?"
"No, I just." He couldn't find the words to finish. "You managed to hold your own." Was what he opted to say instead.
"Yeah, well, she's not that bright." Crossing her arms across her chest, she gazed out across the black water.
"Her intelligence isn't why I date her." Jess agreed.
Rory finally turned to look at him. "I know all about why you date her." Her voice held a hint of anger. "You're such a jerk, Jess." Quickly, she stood and looked down at him. "Now I remember why I chose Dean over you. I can't believe I was stupid enough to ruin things with him." Shaking her head, she started walking away.
Her words stung him, but he wasn't about to let her get the last word. "You chose him because he was safe. He was safe and you were scared." By now, he too had gotten to his feet.
"What?" She spun around to look at him. "How do you figure that? And what am I so afraid of?"
"Me." He answered simply.
"Ha!"
Jess smirked in the darkness. "More importantly, you were afraid of your feelings for me."
"Oh, please. You are so conceited. You've never had that much power over me."
"Oh no? Then why did you stay with Dean for so long when you had feelings for me?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Because he was safe. You didn't have to worry about whether good old reliable bagboy was still drooling over you. But when we kissed, it was new for you. It was exciting and new and maybe a little dangerous and that scared you." His voice had risen almost to the point of yelling.
Rory found her voice rising as well. "It doesn't matter what I felt when we kissed, because you are a jerk. Plain and simple, Jess. I told you that I had feelings for you. I practically poured my heart out there for you, laid it all out there and what did you do? You turned around and walked away. That was a new feeling all right. But it wasn't exciting or dangerous, it was just painful. And then you come here and have the nerve to rub your and Shane's relationship in my face. Real nice, Jess."
"I didn't rub anything in your face."
Rory replied, mocking his tone, "Her intelligence isn't why I date her."
"I was only agreeing with you when you said she wasn't very bright. Your mind must be in the gutter, because I wasn't implying anything. But it's true, Shane isn't virtuous, she's a whole lot of fun."
"Glad to hear it."
Jess took a step in her direction. "You wanna talk about painful, Rory?" He asked, referring to her earlier statement. "Try having the girl of your dreams kiss you and then run away, because she can't stand the thought of cheating on her precious boyfriend. Try knowing that this person thought that this kiss, that meant so much to you, was just a mistake. Now that's painful, Rory."
"If that kiss meant so much to you, why the brush off? Why Shane? Explain it to me Jess. Please, Jess, explain to me why you're still with that bimbo and why you want nothing to do with me."
"Because I can't let you hurt me again. God, Rory, I couldn't stand it if you hurt me again."
"Who's scared now, Jess?" She asked.
"Shut-up, ok? Just shut-up." Before Rory could say anything else, Jess closed the distance between them and grabbed her arms. Leaning down, he placed a hard kiss on her lips and ran his tongue along her bottom lip, demanding entrance. She opened her mouth to him, and tilted her head to give him better access. The kiss clouded her mind, but when what was happening finally broke through the fog, she pushed him away.
"Stop, Jess." She whispered against his lips and pushed lightly at his chest. When he gazed down at her, her breath caught in her throat. "I can't."
The words cut through him and he stepped back. "I should have known." He snapped and brushed past her.
"Jess wait." He stopped a few feet from her, but couldn't bring himself to face her.
"What, Rory? What do you want now?"
Rory took a deep breath before explaining. She knew he would take those two little words the wrong way, but they had slipped out before she could think of anything better to say. "I mean that we can't right now." She paused, finding it hard to sort out the jumbled feelings she was having. "I'm not sorry you kissed me. Or that I kissed you back." She said softly and stared at his back. Finally, he turned around.
"I'm not sorry either."
"Good, it's just that, well, you were right." She smiled at him shyly.
"About what?" His brow furrowed in confusion.
Her shy smile remained. "I am afraid of you." At the expression on his face, she hurried on. "Not like that, not in a bad way. You probably already knew this, but I'm not very experienced. Dean was my first my boyfriend, first kiss, first love. And well, you are nothing like Dean."
"Thank God." Jess joked.
Rory rolled her eyes. "What I mean is, I got comfortable with Dean and I knew what to expect. You on the other hand, are full of surprises. I don't know what to expect and when I'm around you my self-control kind of goes out the window. Remember Sookie's wedding?" She asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "I couldn't stop myself from kissing you, just like I can't stop myself from falling for you. I'm just afraid that falling is going to hurt." She finally admitted.
Jess stepped towards her and took her hands in his. "I'd never hurt you."
"Not intentionally." Jess opened his mouth to speak again, but Rory stopped him with a shake of her head. "It happens, Jess. But I'm not going to let my fear of getting hurt get in between what I think we could have."
"I'm glad to hear that." He smiled, and Rory found it to be contagious.
After a short moment of silence, she asked a question she didn't really want to ask. "What about Shane?"
"What about her?" Jess inquired.
Rory frowned. "She is your girlfriend."
Jess stifled a laugh. The thought of actually having a relationship with Shane struck him as funny. "The truth?"
"It would be nice."
"I only used Shane to forget about you. You had Dean, so I got Shane to help me cope with that. But it didn't work, I was always thinking about you when I was with her."
The thought of Jess not being able to think of anyone but her made her feel warm all over, but she couldn't help but feel sorry for the other girl. "That's not very nice."
Jess smiled at her sweetness. "She was using me too. Neither of us had real feelings for the other."
"You never cared about her?" Rory looked up expectantly.
"Never." He assured her and lowered his lips to hers in a kiss so sweet it made her heart skip a beat.
