**This chapter contains some more spoilers for the Amber Spyglass, so don't read it if you haven't finished!**

~There's an online computer by the name of Eliza. You can reach it here:
http://www-ai.ijs.si/eliza-cgi-bin/eliza_script
blah blah blah.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, yada yada yada...

The idea for this chapter came from a suggestion from a kind reviewer to "do Lee next!" So, here you are.~


Lee: Hi, I'm Lee Scoresby.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am lee scoresby?

Lee: Uh... no, I'M Lee Scoresby.
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.

Lee: Well, I'm flattered that you like my name, but I'm me and you're you.
Eliza: I have told you before, I do not care about names.

Lee: Um.. OK.
Eliza: Please go on.

Lee: Yeah, so anyways... My balloon crashed and I'm being attacked by an army of soldiers. What should I do?
Eliza: Why do you say your balloon crashed and im being attacked by an army of soldiers what should you do?

Lee: What?
Eliza: Does that question interest you?

Lee: ...not exactly...
Eliza: Please go on.

Lee: Well, I gotta problem with my balloon...
Eliza: Why do you say your balloon?

Lee: How should I "say" my balloon? What?
Eliza: Why do you say your balloon what?

Lee: Huh? You make no sense. (Useless computer.)
Eliza: Why do you mention computers?

Lee: Ugh! Will you just shut up and help me!!!???
Eliza: You like to think I just shut up and help you, do you not?

Lee: Well, I WANT you to... why can't you just listen???
Eliza: Do you wish to want me?

Lee: Actually, uh, I don't want a girlfriend right now, really. But it's not you...
Eliza: Why do you not want a girlfriend right now really but its not i?

Lee: GAR!!!! Look, you're not really helping me...
Eliza: How long have you been not really helping you?

Lee: No, you're the non-helpful one!!!
Eliza: You are being a bit negative.

Lee: SHUT UP!!!! I'm GONNA SHOOT YOU!!!!! ...no wait, I'm dead.
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am gonna shoot i no wait im dead?

Lee: I'm DEAD!
Eliza: Does it please you to believe I am dead?

Lee: YES!!! YES!!!! DIE!!! PLEASE!!!
Eliza: You are sure?

Lee: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eliza: You are sure?

Lee: Die!!!
Eliza: Please go on.

Lee: I CAN'T!!! I'M DEAD!!!! Okay, I'll calm down...Uh, I gotta go.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?

You: Um, I have to go to the ghost-word place now.
Eliza: Can you elaborate on that?

You: UGH!
Eliza: Please go on.

*click*