Title- Lonely No More

Author: Static-disturbed

Summary- Hey I'm finally updating. I'm a slacker. Anyway just for anyone who likes me story you all need to read 'Agony in the Trenches' by Angelfirenze. It is a journal type thing from Angel in my story's perspective. Something are different but the story is mad cool so go read it and thanks to Angelfirenze for liking my story so much. The song in this chap is 'Emotionless' by Good Charlotte my favorite band ever. You all need to go listen to both their records. Great 'new Punk' rock band. The story is gonna get pretty angsty the next few chapters but things will eventually get better

Disclaimer- they aren't mine. I'm just a simple punk girl from Philly. Joss and Mutant Enemy own them sadly. Again the song is 'Emotionless' by Good Charlotte.



Hey Dad I'm writing to you

Not to tell you, that I still hate you

Just to ask you how you feel

And how we fell apart how this fell apart

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?

Do you think about your sons?

Do you miss your little girl?

When you lay your head down how do you sleep at night?

Do you even wonder if we're all right?

We're alright

We're alright

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life

It's not OK but we're alright

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive

The days I spent so cold, so hungry, were full of hate

I was so angry, the scars run deep inside this tattooed body

There's things I'll take to my grave, but I'm OK, I'm OK

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life

It's not OK but we're alright

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive

And sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you, said I miss you

It's been a long hard road without you by my side

Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?

You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life

It's not OK but we're alright

I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes

But those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive

And sometimes I forgive, yeah and this time I'll admit

That I miss you, said I miss you...hey Dad



Angel listened to the lyrics from where he sat on his bed. The song hit a little too close to home. Except for the part about their mother Angel might as well have been singing the song himself. What was with dads and leaving their kids? The song gave him a weird sense of comfort that he wasn't the only one out there who had to deal with having a crappy father. He pressed repeat on the stereo and listened as the song came on again. His dad had been a hero to him once. He had been the coolest. They would go fishing every weekend. He could remember when his dad taught him how to bait the line and cast it. He had felt so grown-up standing on the dock with his fishing hat next to his dad. They never caught anything but that wasn't the point. And every weekend after they hadn't caught anything they would always promise 'next weekend we'll catch one' and then abruptly there hadn't been any more weekends. His dad was gone and he never got to catch a fish. He hadn't even realized he was crying until he felt the tears on his upper lip. But he didn't stop, he just cried and listened to the words of the song and wondered why God hated him.

"Hey" William said taking a close look at his best friend who had just entered the school buildings. Angel didn't look too good. His eyes were sunk in and bloodshot and if it was possible his skin looked paler then usual.

"Are you sick or something?"

"Sick in the head maybe" Angel commented quietly closing his locker with a little too much force being as it slammed and the sound even startled him as well as several people around him. He turned and saw Will looking at him with concern.

"What?"

"Nothing...you don't look so good Angel" he said as they started walking

"When do I ever look good?" Angel asked sarcastically

"Any other time I'd say never but right now you look like a dying old man on crack"

"Thanks Will. Where's Buffy?" Angel said just noticing his girlfriend's absence.

"I don't know I haven't seen her yet. Maybe she's sick. Maybe she caught it from you"

"I'm not sick!" Angel yelled and walked away from his best friend. For the first time William was utterly clueless about what was going on in Angel's head.



"Buffy" she spun around and rolled her eyes when she saw Riley staring at her.

"What Riley?" she almost laughed thinking of the way William had called him 'fish boy'.

"I feel really bad about what Cordelia did to you and I was thinking to make it up to you I could take you out for ice-cream later" he leaned against the locker next to hers and gave her his famous smile. Every girl he had ever given the smile was completely under his control.

"Um no thanks but you know what you can do? Tell Cordy she's big ho. Later fish boy I have to go see my boyfriend" Buffy walked away and Riley watched her go in confusion

"Fish boy?"

As she rounded the corner Buffy walked smack dab into a familiar chest.

"Hey just the boyfriend I was looking for" she said smiling at him. Angel smiled back but she could tell just by looking in his eyes that his mind was somewhere else. Obviously his mind was. His hair was uncombed and he looked as if he hadn't slept in days.

"Are you sick?" she asked. His facial changed

"Why do people keep asking that?" he demanded running his hands through his hair. Buffy noticed for the first time that his hands were shaking.

"Angel what's wrong?" she ordered.

"Nothing. I'm fucking wonderful", he said through gritted teeth then headed in the other direction. Buffy watched him exit the school and wished she could figure out some way to help her troubled boyfriend. She went off to find William.



The Rats Nest was quiet during the day. It was different then every other time Angel had seen it. It seemed so desolate and lonely. It just proved that not everything was at it seemed. Life was just a bunch of lies. The only other person there was the bar tender that Angel had come to know by name.

"Hey Doyle" he said sliding into a stool. The Irish man frowned at him

"You know I can't serve you anything," the young bartender said with his Irish accent. Doyle's hair was done up in blue spikes (AN- I thought it'd be cool cause demon Doyle had blue spikes. RIP Glenn Quinn)

"Come on Doyle...and don't tell me I look sick cause I'll beat the crap out of you"

"Can't blame your friends for thinking so. You don't look good Angel" Doyle commented with concern in his voice

"Why would I? My life's just a big freaking game, Every time I finally think I've made it to a point where I'm really happy something comes along and knocks me back down on my ass. I'm just sick of this...stupid life"

"Angel" Doyle said warningly. He'd never seen Angel looking so helpless and lost. The young man smiled softly and got up from the stool realizing Doyle wasn't going to give him any liquor,

"Don't worry Doyle I'm not gonna go blow my brains out or anything" and with that he left the bar with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.