Pippin slowly put his beer mug down, his eyes thoughtful. Then (at the same slow pace) turned to Merry.

"Merry," said Pippin dazedly, "Is beer the meaning of life? And if it isn't, what could it possibly be?"

Merry choked on his drink. Frodo edged away from Pippin and pulled something out of his pocket. Sam looked thoughtful.

"It may be, Master Pippin."

Merry choked on his beer again. Frodo edged away from Sam as well. Finding that this put him closer to Pippin, he began to slide under the table.

"Why are mushrooms the tastiest food I've ever eaten?" Pippin said philosophically.

Merry choked yet again. Frodo whimpered from beneath the table.

"Um... because they are?" Sam answered, thoroughly confused at this point.

"But WHY are they?" Pippin persisted.

Merry decided that he wouldn't take another swallow, and therefore couldn't choke. If he had taken another swallow, however, he would have choked. Frodo emerged from under the table and began determinedly crawling away. Sam gave up and looked into his mug, defeated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the corner, a man's face was blurry. The man whose face was blurry got up and walked over to the bar. "I'll have what that funny-looking short guy had!" he said, and grinned cheerfully.

Barliman Butterbur was about to make a comment, but stopped as Strider (yes, Strider, that's who this guy with the blurry face is) pulled out a sword.

"If you don't get me what I want, I'll have to cut out one of your major organs!" he said, and grinned cheerfully.

Barliman plastered a fake grin on his face and gave Strider his magical beer.

"Thank you for doing what I wanted, because cutting out people's spleens is a nasty business!" Strider said, and grinned cheerfully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh no! Pippin has become a philosopher! *gasp!* Is Merry going to die because he choked so many times? Is Frodo going to get lost while crawling under the tables? Is Sam becoming an evil philosopher too, or is he just weird? And what about Strider? Why is he grinning cheerfully all the time? Come back later, and again, REVIEW!!!