Chapter. 15

Summary- Buffy goes to talk to Shelly. And Angel and William set out to find Drusilla (the girl not the car). I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be to this but probably no more then 5. But you never know. Anyway I want to thank everyone who continues to give me feedback even when I stupidly don't up-date for a month. There are too many of you to list. And Angel is so awesome. I mean.... I hope Cordy is evil and Angel kills her and then goes back to Buffy. This is my dream. Cordelia stinks. I used to like her but now...can you say slut? Angel, Connor and now the beast? My goodness that girl gets around. And Buffy is getting good again. I'm actually watching again. I love Andrew he's so cute. I was crying during the last episode when he thought Buffy was gonna kill him and all. It was so....ahh. Ok let's get to the story now. Angelus rocks! I love that laugh (shivers)

Disclaimer- The only ones I own are Shelly, Trey and Grandma. I guess I don't fully own Shelly cause she is loosely based off a friend of mine. But anyway enjoy!!! Feedback remember. Ah the song is called 'Panic Song' and it's by a little band you may have heard of called Green Day. It's just about desperation and wanting to escape the world. Maybe it doesn't exactly go with the chapter but I like it so ha ha It's my story!!!!!!!!
Ready for a cheap escape

On the brink of self destruction

Widespread panic

Broken glass inside my head

Bleeding down these thoughts of

Anguish... mass confusion

The world is a sick machine

Breeding a mass of shoot

With such a desolate conclusion

Fill the void with... I don't care

There's a plague inside of me

Eating at my disposition

Nothing's left

Torn out of reality

Into a state of no opinion

Limp with hate

The world is a sick machine

Breeding a mass of shoot

With such a desolate conclusion

Fill the void with... I don't care

I wanna jump out!

'Panic Song' Green Day
Shelly groaned when she heard the doorbell. It was Saturday and that meant she should be able to sleep as late as she wanted. But no, someone had to wake her up. No one else was home. She vaguely remembered Angel telling her he was going to Williams, Trey had slept at a friends and her grandma was at work. Ignoring the bell she buried her head deeper into her pillow. But the bell rang again. She stumbled from the bed nearly tripping over her shoes and made her way slowly toward the door. Her head was pounding and she was sure she looked like hell. She knew she felt like it. Yesterday's fight with Angel had left her every upset and she had spent the whole night partying trying to forget about it.

Buffy tried to smile at the younger girl when she opened the door but found it hard. Shelly's eyes were blood shot, her face was pale, her hair stuck up in all directions not to mention she smelled like liquor and cigarettes.

"Angel isn't here" Shelly gritted out before starting to shut the door. Buffy stopped it with her hand.

"I know he isn't. I'm here to talk to you", she said calmly

"Why would you talk to me?" Shelly asked her short temper beginning to wear off. Buffy saw her clenching her fists but made no move to walk away. This was Angel's sister. Angel had asked her to do this. She couldn't just back off without at least trying

"I just thought we could have a chat you know? Girl to girl?" she asked. She didn't want to seem like she was lecturing but at the same time she couldn't come off to soft, Shelly would walk all over her.

"Really?" for a minute Shelly sounded excited but then her face fell and Buffy understood she was being sarcastic "No thanks"

"Angel asked me to come. He's worried about you" Buffy finally said. The brunette took a deep breath.

"Angel doesn't need to worry about me...I told him that a zillion times. He feels guilty.... I don't want to be his guilt trip", she said angrily.

"Angel doesn't have anything to feel bad for. If anyone should be apologizing it's you. You have no idea what he's been through these past few months. I do and trust me it wasn't very pretty". For a second Shelly seemed concerned but soon her face was unreadable. She was good at hiding her emotions. Shelly was a lot like her brother Buffy decided. They stood there on the porch for a second in silence before Shelly spoke

"Listen you don't know me...."

"But I do" Buffy interrupted. "I was you. Maybe we weren't in the same situations but I was just like you, I was angry at the world for giving me a crappy life so I lashed out at everyone around me. I did everything I could to make other people feel bad about themselves because I was unhappy I decided everyone else should be unhappy too! And you know what? For a while it did work. But then I started to realize everyone hated me. My mom and sister.... they hated what I had become. And that just made me hate myself more" Buffy took a breath "You lash out at Angel and Trey and your grand mom because they're happy. They're dealing with all the horrible things that have happened to them and you don't know how too. You need to learn to deal before your family starts to hate what you're becoming". Shelly was staring at her feet by the time Buffy was finished talking. Gone was the cocky, pissed off teenager from a few minutes earlier replaced by a vulnerable little girl who was facing reality she had been hiding from her whole life. She hated who she was. She hated going on and getting hammered, and the fact that she was known around school for being easy. It made her sick. She especially hated that people were frightened of her. It wasn't a good feeling, but she only had herself to blame. This was reality. She couldn't blame her mom or dad or her grand mom or her brothers. In the end she was the one who controlled how she lived her life. Shelly looked up at Buffy through tear-glazed eyes and the older girl sighed. "Shelly...lets go inside. You can get a shower and then you and me can talk some more. I just...I'm not trying to take Angel away form you if that's what you think". Shelly looked down. The thought had crossed her mind, ever since Buffy had come along Angel spent less and less tome at home with them. She had been bitter at Buffy because of that. But now she was starting to see how wrong she had been. Buffy loved Angel. And he loved her. She was what he needed.

"Lets go inside" Shelly said finally offering the other girl a small smile. For once she felt a clam inside her body. Maybe she wasn't entirely alone in how she felt.
"Will where exactly are we headed?" Angel asked from the passenger seat of their old battered car. William had called him early this morning and told him to get dressed and be ready to go. Go where, he wasn't exactly sure.

"Were gonna find her" William swore. Angel looked confused

"Find who?"

"Drusilla"

"Drusilla? The same Drusilla you met what two years ago when you were 14? Will you can't be serious", Angel said, but William didn't look like he was joking. "Come on you knew the girl for what a week? Then she disappeared. And it was two years ago man"

"How long were you dating Buffy before you decide you loved her...Oh wait you hadn't even decided you were dating when you declared your love for one another in the middle of the street!" his best friend snapped. Angel shrunk down into his seat.

"Whatever, just how do you plan on finding her though?" Angel asked giving up on trying to talk his best friend out of his plan. William just grinned and reached into the backseat. He pulled out something and showed it to Angel

"The white pages?" Angel asked. William handed the book to his friend and smiled

"Start looking up Meyers"