author: Lucinda
rating: pg 13.
main characters: Willow, Cordelia, Alex Dane
pairings: hints of Cordelia/Jason Nesmith, Willow/Alex Dane, Gwen DeMarco/Angel
disclaimer; I own nobody from Buffy/Angel or from Galaxy Quest. There may be a few minor original characters.
distribution: Bite Me, WLS, NHA, Twisting the Hellmouth, anyone else please ask, I'll probably say yes.
dedicated to Rose, who I blame for the idea.
note: AU post season 6ish for BtVS timeline, AU season 2 for Angel. Post Galaxy Quest the movie.




Cordelia was getting most impatient. They had a scene to shoot, and there was the matter of the kiss that would be in it, and where was Willow anyhow? The had to be ready for the scene, and prepared for the scary thing that would be attacking them during it. And no matter how many times she'd been up against something big and dangerous, it still scared her, making her feel like she was trembling and shaking. She didn't want to be a coward.

But the baffling part was that she was almost looking forward to the demony thing attacking. She knew how to deal with demons attacking, but she wasn't as certain how to deal with Jason Nesmith and the feelings he was causing. She had finally admitted to herself that she didn't hate him, and there was a lot more that he inspired than just annoyance. She was attracted to him, she'd finally admitted it. Not that it changed anything, or that it meant they had any chance of a future after this episode. She didn't want to consider how that made her feel.

She was on the verge of pacing, her long gown brushing the tops of her feet, her hair swept up, held in place by a glittering tiara. Her ears felt almost pulled by the large glittering ear rings, and her wrists and throat sparkled with more false gems. They were definitely too much for any other type of setting besides the stage.

She allowed herself a moment of delight. Even if it wasn't real, she was for the moment a princess. The absolute ruler of all she surveyed. Fabulously wealthy, powerful, confident. Yeah, the princess Mirabanna had a pretty good situation in life. She'd better enjoy it while she had the chance. And if she enjoyed the farewell 'Kiss of Good Fortune' that Mirabanna gave to Taggert, well, who had to know?

Angel and Gwen came over, Angel looking unhappy about something and muttering to himself, while Gwen looked as if she was trying not to laugh.

"Willow and Alex will be here soon. There were... delays with the elevator." Gwen went over to a nearby chair, still trying unsuccesfully to smother the giggles.

Actually looking at Cordelia, Angel paused. "You're in one of those supposed to be a dresses too. Whose idea were they? That's not a real dress..."

As Angel went to hover near Gwen, Cordelia let forth her own series of giggles. Seemed that Angel was not impressed with her wardrobe. Too bad for him. She rather liked the cut, although the fabric... well, it wasn't her top choice. But her overprotective boss was almost enough to make her ask if she could keep it, extreme ornamentation and all.

Finally, after long enough that Cordelia had smothered her laughter, Alex and Willow walked in, Alex in full Dr Lazarus garb, and Willow... well, the pale gown looked good on her, even with the glittering sword that she'd brought along. And Willow seemed awfully comfortable with Mr. Dane, smiling, and...

Cordelia could hardly believe her eyes. Alex Dane had just given Willow a kiss. True, it was only a light brush of his lips over hers, but... There was no reason besides him wanting to kiss her that could explain it. Maybe Willow's spell hadn't been too far off target after all...

Willow was blushing as she made her way over to where Cordelia waited. "umm... I'm ready for the scene. The elevator... sort of got stuck. Sorry to keep everyone waiting."

"And you were just bored silly waiting in the elevator? I don't think so... We're going to have a long talk after this is over with. Come on, I've been waiting impatiently to get this over with. All of it." Cordelia felt impatient, and she was actually looking forward to the demon attack that should happen while they were filming.

Willow blushed, but looked her right in the eyes. "That eager to kiss Taggert goodbye? Let's go then."

Now it was Cordelia that blushed, reminding herself that there was a reason they'd called Willow the smart one of the group. Not that she was an idiot, but Willow put things together and noticed behavior patterns. She'd just been hoping that Willow would miss that one. "It's... He's... Let's just do this, my handmaiden."

They assumed their positions for the departure scene, with Nesmith looking at Cordelia, a certain smugness in his eyes as he leaned towards her and smirked. "Can't wait for this scene."

Alex smiled at Willow, and whispered a single word. "Friday."

Cordelia made a mental note to find out exactly what was supposed to happen on Friday, and threw herself into the role of Mirabanna. Nesmith then apparently decided to change one of his lines, throwing in an insinuation that they might welcome his ship's protection. She found herself ad libbing a bit to compensate. Something about how her planet was capable of defending themselves against any trouble that might arise.

She'd immersed herself so completely in the character of Mirabanna that she almost missed the signifigance of a tiny flicker of orange caught by the corner of her eye. Spinning, she caught the sword that Willow had tossed to her, the metal and gems sparkling brilliantly, and faced the creature. Frowning, she realized that her vision hadn't covered the smell of the thing, halfway between wet leather and sun baked pond scum. Gross. "I do not need some vicious beast interupting MY ceremony!"

Without pausing to consider the camera, she gestured imperiously for the men to move away from the snarling beast. They were entirly willing to do so, moving slowly in an effort to prevent it from attacking. The thing growled menacingly, a long, glistening trail of drool falling from it's curled back lips towards the floor.

The next two things happened simultaniously, or at least pretty close to it. The creature lunged at her, and Nesmith tried to tackle the thing. It shook him off, sending him crashing into her throne, and the thing lunged towards her. A bolt of dark green hit the beast, stunning it enough that it was slowed. It lunged again, pushing one clawed hind foot into Nesmith, a roar carrying the stench of it's breath towards her. Cordelia flicked the sword out, slashing deep into it's side, causing orangish fluid to pour from it's side.

"I am tired of interruptions to my events! Die already!" She swung the sword again, the thing leaping towards her only to fall to the ground as if it had struck a wall. She took advantage of that moment to lop it's head off, scowling at the now dead beast in anger and frustration. "Someone fetch a doctor at once! This man is injured!"

That seemed to be the final clue to the stunned film crew, and the pandemonium continued, people screaming, some of them running. But they did bring a doctor, and someone was already checking out Jason for injuries. Willow seemed to be looking at the shattered throne, her face away from the camera as she hugged her arms to herself. Alex was looking at the dead monster, his expression one of horrified fascination.

Reaching out, she touched Willow's shoulder. "How about we go have some coffee? It came, we killed it, the coffee will help you calm down."

"yeah... coffee is good." Willow's voice sounded almost flat, as if she was trying so hard to reign things back that everything was pulled inside. Her eyes were pools of darkess.

end part 18.
Alex stared at the now dead thing on the floor. Leathery orange-brown hide covered the muscular body that was at least as big as a pony, and built more like a lion or a wolf. The feet had wicked claws, including the innermost, which was three times as large, and most likely ideal for shredding flesh from bones. He shuddered at the vivid mental picture THAT brought up. But something about it almost seemed familiar. Horribly, gut twistingly familiar. Except for the part about the orangish colored blood. Sort of a dark orange with a reddish cast, and the smell... between the smell from when it had been alive and the smell of it dead, his stomach was churning unhappily.

"I think this is a Kreemorian Fangor beast?" His voice was a bit unsteady, and he was speaking more to himself than to anyone in particular. Jason had been taken away by the few people with medical backgrounds, in an effort to treat his hopefully minor injuries. Gwen was... not here, and none of the technical staff would know that he hadn't just spent too many hours in make-up. "But how could one of those have gotten here? I didn't even think those were real."

He glanced up, seeing Willow staring at the dead thing, her arms curled around herself as if she sought to hold herself together. Her face was pale and expressionless, but her eyes... oh God, her eyes had turned black. Not bruises, but instead of the delightfully greenish sparkling eyes that he'd enjoyed gazing into were pits of shadow. Her back was to the camera, and her friend reached over, murmuring something about coffee. They left the small, wrecked platform that had been the set for the Princess' reception, heading towards the coffee table.

He had now moved from afraid and confused to completely flummoxed. Willow and Cordelia had killed the thing which might or might not be a Fangor beast, and were now going to have coffee. As if this was a normal thing. But then why did Willow look so... He didn't have a name for the way she had looked. Not quite lost, not triumphant as he'd half expected, but... almost as if something inside had cracked? The idea bothered him.

But it didn't bother him as much as the fear that there might be another one of those things around. Lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce on someone. He'd almost expect the stench alone to alert someone, but they hadn't noticed... Not until what would have been too late. But Cordelia and Willow had been able to fight it, had been able to kill it. Cordelia with a sword, and Willow... hadn't used a sword. She'd done something, gestured and it had been hit by this dark bolt. How could he figure out if there might be more? Who could possibly know anything about Kreemorian Fangor beasts? Glancing around, he saw Fred and Laliari sitting together, hands touching as they looked at each other with the most annoyingly sweet expressions.

Numbly, he made his way towards the corner where Fred and Laliari were whispering to each other. Perhaps she would be able to identify it? Then they would only need to figure out how it had gotten here, and how Willow and Cordelia had stopped it. "Laliari? We have... a creature attacked the farewell reception shot. Could you... do you think you might be able to identify it? Whatever it was it clawed Jason, and the medical staff will need to know if there's a possiblity of poison."

Fred's face paled a bit, and he rubbed his hand over Laliari's back. "Hopefully he's going to be okay? Maybe you should take a look at the thing, sweety. If they're sure it's dead."

She looked up, her eyes full of questions. He almost thought that he could see her shape waver a bit, from human. As if the idea made her want to take back her true shape. "The creature is dead?"

"Quite. It's head has been severed from the body. A most large and wickedly clawed body." He was certain that the thing had to be dead, after all, decapitation worked wonders. But if it had been just a few moments faster, or if it had caught them unprepared...

Quietly, Laliari followed him to the body, her movements stiffer than normal. Tilting her body forward a bit, she studied the body, and looked for the head. "Ahhh. Kreemorian Fangor beast. Very dificult to kill. But what was one doing on the set?"

"I wish I knew how it found it's way here. It tried to attack us. But Willow... and Cordelia, they were prepared for it. Somehow." He wished that he knew how they had been able to prepare themselves for the attack. They had seemed far to afraid to have planned it, but... how had they known?

Laliari looked up, her eyes swirled with purple as she fought to keep her human disguise. Her voice held an odd sort of clicking undertone, as if parts of her were trying to change inside. "They aren't poisonous. They don't need to be. The good news - is that the right phrase? The good thing is that they are normally solitary creatures."

"Solitary and non poisonous. Both of those sound very good. Thank you Laliari." He felt better, knowing that there wasn't likely to be another one lurking in the hallways. But... where was Gwen? Had it found her before finding them? Worry threaded through him, and he decided that maybe he should find her.

He wandered towards the back halls, hoping that he could find Gwen. Hoping that she was alright. Maybe the delay would let him sort through what had just happened. How had they known? Where did Cordelia learn how to use a sword? Why had Willow's eyes been black, and how... she must have been responsible for that dark bolt of something, maybe energy? that had struck the creature. But, again, his mind returned to the question of HOW?

Oh yes, he was not coping very well at the moment. It might even be accurate to say that he was freaking out. But he was doing it quietly.

Turning a corner, he found the engine room set, with Gwen clinging to Angel, looking unharmed but shaken, her hair a bit mussed. Angel was talking to her, one hand rubbing circles a bit awkwardly over her back, clearly an effort to sooth her after something.

"Should I ask what happened here?" His voice seemed terribly loud in the room. Had Angel's eyes flickered yellow when he looked up?

end part 19.
Gwen looked at Alex, still feeling worried and afraid and shaken. "There... it was... sort of like a rabid conventioner only worse. Much worse. I'm okay though. Angel made it... him go away."

It was only then that she noticed how Alex seemed a bit too still, a bit to quiet. Something had rattled him, and she only hoped that nobody had been hurt. "Alex... what happened to you?"

"It seems..." He swallowed, shaking his head slightly. "We were shooting the reception. We were attcked by a... Laliari said it was a Kreemorian Fangor beast. Large, leathery hide, and the smell... uggh. Willow... Willow and Cordelia killed it."

Gwen felt like her stomach, which had only just recovered, had been yanked away again. Her knees went weak, which almost resulted in her falling to the floor, except that she was now leaning heavily against Angel. "Oh my... We just had.. there was this guy, all in green scales. With sort of a crest along his head... and his voice was really deep. I have no idea what sort of language he was using, but there were a lot of references to Tawny and Taggert and the Protector..."

She closed here eyes, the scene replaying in her mind. She'd been walking with Angel, amused by his reaction to the costumes for his friends. They'd meandered around, which hadn't been a problem since all of her scenes for the episode had been filmed already. Then, they'd ended up in the section of mocked up corridor with the large smashing blocks. He'd stopped, looking at the set with something between bafflement and shock.

"What in the world is that for? Smashing people into hamburger?"

She'd snickered, remembering her terrifying encounter with the very same passage in the ship. "I'm not quite sure why we have those. It's supposed to be somewhere in the engines... the third corridor on the left. But I have no idea what they're supposed to do." She'd looked at him, smiling gently. "I just talk to the computer."

That had been before a sound, like something scraping over metal had echoed into the area, and a shadow had loomed into the room. A strange shadow that wasn't shaped quite right. Something... it had reminded her of one of the aliens almost, in that she'd been suddenly convinced that this... thing... wasn't human, had never been human. Pale greenish yellow eyes that had reminded her of a snakes had looked at her, narrowing in a face covered with tiny green scales. The cheekbones were wider, the face broader and shorter than possible for a human, and the broad neck seemed little more than an extension of the shoulders. It had pointed at her, practically hissing something in a harsh sounding language. Had the creature called her Tawny?

Angel had moved, putting himself between her and the... whatever it was. His posture proclaimed that the thing wouldn't be able to hurt her unless it went through Angel first.

There had ben a noise from Angel, almost like a growl, and he'd said something back, in the same strange language.

There had been several tense, mind wracking exchanges, making her really long for subtitles, or a handy computer that she could ask for a translation. Whatever the green guy was saying, it certainly seemed to be important to him, and he gestured, pointing to her as he spoke.

"Angel? Whatever it is he wants, I don't have a handy computer here that I can talk too." She'd been afraid, uncertain what the creature was, what it wanted, and having no idea what it had been saying.

Angel had sort of glanced at her, apparently unwilling to take his eyes completely away from the green man. "He's... I suppose you'd have to call him a disgruntled fan. He doesn't like the way the new series is going."

"What?" The words had made no sense. This... creature was a fan? It.. he didn't like the storylines? "Exactly what part is he unhappy with?"

Angel moved, his stance slightly less aggressive, but still keeping himself between her and the other. "He thinks there's not enough action in the new ones, and ahhh... he seems to think that Tawny Madison and Peter Taggert are supposed to be... involved."

"Tawny and... Taggert? Involved? But... but... oh no. Can you please explain to him that I have no control over the scripts?" Her mind had been spinning. Wasn't this a bit extreme for a disgruntled fan? "Was he responsible for the power failures? And the computer?"

There was a hissing noise, and the scaled man made a few more hissing words. A wild gesture of one taloned hand was apparently to add emphasis to his words.

Angel nodded, and said something in response, his tone entirely calm.

With a small jump, the creature's mouth gaped open, showing teeth that would make a shark jealous, and it then bolted from the room. Talons made noises against the floor, the sounds fading.

Curiosity overpowered fear at a rate much the same as the fading of the talon sounds. "What did you say to him? Why did he go away?"

Angel turned around, a small smile on his face. "I told him that if he stopped vandalizing the set and behaved in the future, he could get your autograph."

That was almost too much, and she started to laugh and cry at the same time, clinging to Angel's shoulders as her whole body shook.

Naturally, that was how Alex had found them. He seemed to find her story interesting and disturbing. Reaching out, he placed on hand on her arm. "Gwen... is there anything...?"

He was still standing there, looking as if he was trying to find some words to sooth her when the sound of clicking against the floor returned. Green and scaly was back, a small book in one hand, a few pictures sticking out, and an ink pen firmly in the other hand.

"My goodness... what... a most unusual fan you have, my dear collegue." Alex's words emerged slowly, as if it had been yet another unneeded shock.

Alex had ended up signing the book as well, and they'd both put their names on the original series ensemble picture, his scrawl reading 'Alex Dane, the talented Doctor Lazarus' while hers read 'the lovely Gwen DeMarco, as Lt. Tawny Madison'. Watching the almost giddy reptilian creature leave, Gwen had just sighed.

She looked at the two of them, feeling incredibly overwhelmed by everything. "Can I go home now? This has turned out to be an exhausting day."

end part 20.