Hey, it's me the Deathsythe. I got the inspiration for this fic while at
work today, too busy to get the whole plot and story down so I'm mainly
making most of this up as I go along. Let's see how it turns out shall we?
Sorry if it's not that funny or whatnot, it's not like I actually planned
it through. If you want my real comedy check out my G Gundam stuff. But
who knows? Maybe this will tickle a few funny bones.
Disclaimer: I don't own Guilty Gear X, if I did Ky would be in it alot more. No, GGX as well as the rest of the series, is the property of Daisuke Ishiwatari, Sammy, and Arc Works System. I'm sure a few others as well but who cares about them? That's like asking the name of the director of Dragonball GT. No one gives a rip, and no one knows. All they know is Akira Toriyama for DBZ. Don't ask me how that exactly ties in with this, cause frankly I don't know myself.
End Disclaimer.
a few notes. () indicate thoughts. ' ' indicate indirect quotes. *~*~*~*~ is a change of perspective. ***** is a change of scene. And {} means the words are sung. Get it? Got it? Good.
"It's Not What It Seems!"
***********************************************************************
"So then she says 'You two would look SO kawaii together!'."
"That one again! Geez I hate that line!"
"You and me both man."
"So what did you tell her after she said that?"
"Oh! Haha, I said um, 'Go screw yourself Bee-otch!' and then I flipped her off!"
"HAHAHA!!!! Good one man! So what happened next?"
"Well she...kinda kicked me in the nuts..."
"Oooooh, I felt that one man. It's not fair. THEY make up stuff about US and when we simply correct them suddenly WE'RE in the wrong."
"That's girls for you, even after a century and a half, I STILL don't get them. I'll never completely understand women."
"Heck I'll never even understand where all these rumors are coming from!"
"Well I guess since we burried the hatchet everyone thinks we're a couple or something."
"Geez, there is a big fat friggan line between 'friendship' and 'skinship' a line that's never been crossed."
"And never WILL be crossed, got that?"
"No need to tell me! Man all these rumors are totally killing my dating life."
"You don't know the half of it, it's been so long since I've had a girlfriend my mind is playing tricks on me."
"Like what?"
"Well heck I found myself hitting on a hot chick with long Raven hair and a nice skirt at this bar last week. Took me till she spoke that I found out it was Testament."
"Whoa! That IS bad. But nothing like my story. I thought I saw a cutie checking out this tea cup collection at one of my favorite stores, so I go and talk to her and get to know her. I asked her out for dinner that night and she said 'Oh I'm sorry but I'm not gay'. So I'm all like 'I'm a GUY!' and then she is like 'I am too!' And then--"
"Wait, wait, wait. By any chance is this person named Bridget?"
"...Yeah, how did you know?"
"You don't want to know" Two plops, followed by two fizzes, and the sound of swallowing follow the voice on the phone.
"Hey I got it!"
"What's that?"
"Lets go cruise the fair."
"That Midnight Carnival? Why would--"
"No no no! There is a regular Carnival going on downtown today. I'm sure alot of girls will be there."
"Oh Good idea! But my ride is anything BUT a chick magnet, we'd be better off going in your car."
"No prob, I'll be over in about...an hour or so ok?"
"Good, let me go get ready."
"Alright, oh and Sol?"
"Yeah Ky?"
"Tell anyone about the Bridget thing and I swear I'll--"
"No worries man, as long as what happened between me and Testament stays between us 3 you've got nothing to worry about."
"Good, ciao!"
"Abayo."
Ky hung up his phone before standing up from his seated position on the couch and repositioning the plush hand stitched French pillows with 'KK' on the front, written in blue letters. A delicate glass coffee table stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by a couch, recliner and love seat. All white velvet, only the finest quality. The golden rays of the mid day sun filtered through the skylight and cascaded down through the crystal chandelier, filling the room with a bright and peaceful light. His living room was nothing short of beautiful, especially for a guy's house, a batchelor at that.
Ky surveys the room making sure nothing was out of place. "Perfect!" He said with a smile. "A house clean enough for God to stay in." That's one thing Ky prided himself in, keeping things in Holy Order. Ky turned right and began walking towards the laundry room in his house, on the far side of his kitchen. He walked in and flipped the light on. Grabbing a big and small towel off the shelf, he made his way up the spiral staircase towards his bathroom.
As everything else in his house, the bathroom was nothing short of spectacular. Saving the free world from a rampaging army of gears has it's benefits. Not really that Ky was rich, just that anything he needed, or wanted for that matter, was provided by the Sacred Order of the Holy Knights. So the marble countertops, carpeted floors, a whirlpool hot tub and a seperate shower was nothing surprising. "I'd better take a quick shower and wash my hair, before I go. Gotta smell fresh for the ladies." Ky stares off into space with a look of bliss on his face. "Maybe I'll see Millia there." Ky awoke from his daydream and quickly undressed before stepping into the shower. {"I've got the urrrrge to Herbal!"}
********
"Abayo." Sol said before hanging up his phone. Taking his propped up feet off of his makeshift coffee table, which was no more than a 2x4 held up by 2 cinder blocks, Sol sat upright on his retro 80's leather sofa. The stuffing all but gone, lay hanging out in several spots. Apparently he rested his Fuenken on the couch on occasion. The once dark brown color is now nothing more than a dull tan, faded away through time. Sol was too cheap to buy new furniture. Even with all the bounty money he collected he still refused to renovate his house. The leaking ceiling dripping into a nearby coffee can was a constant reminder of that fact.
A slight breeze blew through the cracks between the duct tape that sealed his window as Sol stretched his arms over his head. Blowing the scent of his pits into his nostrils. "Whoo man! I gotta take a...roll of deodorant and freshen up." Sol stood from the couch and made his way into the bedroom, avoiding a room full of dirty clothes and used instant Ramen cups. As he entered his room he tried flipping the switch on, but the lights on his ceiling fan didn't come on. "Oh yeah I forgot." He moved to the center of the room and reached up towards the hanging chain switch for the light. Possitioing himself in the gap where one of the blades was missing and grabbing the chain near the top, he feeds links of the chain back through the socket. Then he quickly jerks it back out. Nothing. The light didn't come on. Too bad the chain wasn't stuck and would automatically recoil back in after every click like a good fan was supposed to, if it wasn't broke he wouldn't have had to repeat the slow and tedius process 4 times to get the light to come on.
But as usual, Sol spent his money on beer and 'The Best of Queen' albums instead of fixing up his house. "Now where is that deodorant?" Sol thought outloud while searching his junky room for some stick. But to no avail. "Darn it, well I guess I HAVE to take a shower now..." Sol said in a not too happy tone. "And it's not even Thursday..." He exited his room into the hallway and opened the bathroom door. He swore he heard something move. "Who's there!" Sol said as his hand slowly moved towards the light switch. A voice rang out from the darkness.
"Wait, don't do it!"
"That's it!" Sol screamed while flipping the switch on. His eyes grew to the size of saucers. There on his toilet seat was a cockroach the size of a man. Sitting on the throne with a slightly embarrassed look on his face.
"Do you mind!" The roach said as he turned to Sol. "Oh and do you have the sports secti--"
"BANDIT REVOLVER!!!!!!" Sol sailed across the bathroom with his right foot extending in an outside Crescent kick. Clocking the roach upside the head and knocking him off the seat. Sol lifts his foot to finish the job. But something stops him. He looks down to see a horde of roaches clinging to his skin.
"Arrgh! Get offa me!" Sol says while shaking wildly.
"No! We won't let you kill father!"
Sol pauses for a second. "I...I didn't know he had a family...Geez I'm sorry, I didn't know tha--" Sol came to his senses just in time. "Wait! What am I doing? These are roaches, vermin."
"I bet you have never been an outcast! Living your life on the streets, the rough life, never knowing where you're gonna eat or sleep next. Hated by everyone." The sentiments of the roache's cries touched Sol in a way that he hasn't been touched in a while.
"Gee...I know just how you guys feel."
"Really?"
"Yep..."
Sol walked back out of the bathroom slowly closing the door behind him. He looks down with a genuine look of sadness on his face as a single tear rolls down his left cheek. "My boots...." Sol took a moment to regain his composure. "Oh well, the bathroom is a mess. So I guess a shower is out of the question." Sol tugs on the fabric of his shirt, leans down and takes a sniff. "Hmm...where's that Febreeze?"
*******
Ky reached for a bottle of shampoo after wetting his hair down. But unfortunately for him, his hair was in his eyes and Ky mistakenly reached for the wrong bottle instead of his normal Herbal Essence. He already tried the body wash, now he wanted that same botanical feeling in his scalp. He wanted it to feel like a herd of deer was gently grazing through his folicles as smally bunny rabbits nibbled at the honey blossoms. That's his usual sensation.
This stuff was some home made crap a poor kid was selling off the streets one day. Ky noticed the poor lad as he passed by him on the streets. Ky took pity on him and bought a bottle of his bootleg Shampoo, thinking it would help the kid get his next meal or something. He meant to use it ONE day, just now today.
Ky poured it on and lathered up followed by a rinse and repeat. "Must be getting too use to this stuff, no wonderful botanical experience in my hair today." He stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel and his bathrobe that he hung on a nearby rail. Putting the robe on and wrapping the towel around his head he crossed the bathroom and walked up to the mirror. Pointing finger guns at the mirror and clicking with his mouth he winked at his reflection. "Looking good tiger!" After a few moments of rubbing the towel through his hair he unwraps it slowly while humming to himself. Ky stopped in mid song as his towel came all the way off. "Great mother of Moses!" Ky stared in horror at his reflection. His treasured natural blonde hair was now...pink.
Running back to the shower, he quickly surveyed the bottle he just used. He read off the words written in magic marker. "'Warning, may cause slight color change!'" Ky let out a sigh as he slumps his shoulders down. "Why me? Well I don't have any dye and no time to rinse it all out, I'll just have to go with it. Maybe no one will notice." Ky leaves the bathroom and makes his way across the hall and into his master bedroom. Which I have neither the time nor patience to describe, this is a humor fic not a friggan poetry contest. His room was big, shiny and clean, that's all you need to know. Or read my G Gear's "No Mercy part 1" for details.
Ky walked over to his walk in closet and searched for something to wear. "I'll go with the normal Knights uniform. Girls LOVE a man in uniform!" He said to himself, but he forgot that he sent them all out to be cleaned...all but one...
"No...not that one...ANYTHING but THAT one!"
*******
Ky pulled up to Sol's house as planned. A few cars drove by honking and laughing at Ky as he tried desperately to slouch down in his seat to avoid being seen. More cars passed, all occupied by many pretty young girls. And around the 9th hour Ky cried out with a loud voice. "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtani?"
Ky began to honk the horn frantically, he wanted out of there ASAP. "Darn it Sol! Move your butt!" It had been almost 4 minutes since he pulled up and still no sign of Sol. At that moment another carpool of girls rode by, Ky caught a glimpse of some of them before quickly ducking out of sight before they could spot him. "Oh great, that looked like Millia, Jam, and the others! Hope they didn't see me!" Ky checks the rear view mirror to see them heading in the direction of downtown. "Maybe they are going to the carnival too. I hope to see Millia there."
A few moments later Sol emerges from the house through the window. He begins to walk down the walkway towards Ky's red Porche when he spots Ky's outfit.
"Sorry Ky, the door wouldn't open so I had to-- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" Sol begins pointing and laughing before hitting the ground and rolling on the floor laughing. Tears come to his eyes as he strains to hold back his laughter long enough to look up, what he sees is not only Ky's hair but his matching pink outfit as well. "Oh this is too rich! Where's my camera! HAHA!"
"Don't even start Sol!" Ky grits through his teeth. "Geez I never wear this one so it didn't need cleaning ok? It's the only one I had!" Ky diverts his eyes to Sol's shoes. He quickly turns his head and covers his mouth. "Man what did you step in?"
"Long story." Sol said as he opened the door.
"Oh no you don't! Those shoes are NOT getting in my car! Go wash them off or something.
With a sigh Sol closed Ky's door and treaded across his front lawn. Not mowed in months. The grass came up to his chest. He slowly but surely made his way to the side of the house where his faucet was located. Turning it on and allowing a few minutes for the backup rust deposits to clear out, he proceeded to rinse off his boots. When he was done he turned back and started towards the car again.
"Stupid roaches, always messing up a perfectly good pair of--Woah!" Sol suddenly dropped from Ky's sight and into the netherlands of his yard.
"You ok Sol?" Ky asked concerned.
"Start the car man! Start the car!" Sol's voice boomed from the grass.
Ky quickly crunk his car up and reved the engine upon Sol's request. He continues to search the field for signs of Sol but he can see none. "Sol! Where are yo--Holy burning bushes!" Ky jumps back as the face of Sol gets plastered against the window. Sol frantically shakes his left leg still hidden in the brush.
"Darn it you son of a! Let go!" Sol punches into the grass and his leg breaks free. He quickly opens the door and hops in. "Drive! Just drive!" Sol screamed as Ky put the car in gear.
Ky pulls off from Sol's house, makes a U Turn and heads towards downtown. "What was that all about Sol?"
"Pesky Lions again, I'm soooo tired of them hiding in my grass!" Sol folds his arms angrily with a ticked off sigh. He shakes his head and reclines his seat backwards. Ky simply gives one of those 'oooooook' kinda looks and directs his attention at the road ahead of him.
After a few minutes, Sol leans forward and turn on the radio. "How 'bout some cruising tunes?"
"Fine by me." Ky spoke as Sol turns on the radio and scans the airwaves.
{"Another one bites the dus--"} Ky flips the station quickly to something to suit his tastes.
{"Micheal rowed the boat ashore--"}
Sol suddenly jumps sits up. "Oh HEYALL naw!" He changes back to his beloved Queen.
{"And another one gone, and another one go--"}
"My car shall be a car of prayer! How dare you turn it into a den of robbers!" {"Halleluhah! Miche--"}
{"How ya think we're gonna get alo--"}
{"Ashore halle--"}
{"The dust! anoth--"}
"FINE!" Ky says as he turns the radio to a neutral station. "We'll listen to THIS then."
Loud Guitar riffs, heavy drums and bumping bass beats fill the car as the voice comes from the radio. {"I...I feel so alive! For the very first time! I can't deny you! I feel so alive! I..."}
"Ah! 'Payable On Death', gotta love that band!" Sol sighed as he propped his feet up once more.
Ky smiled and cranked the music up louder. "It's an oldie, but a goodie!"
******
Ky and Sol pull up to the fairgrounds a few minutes later. From the look of things the fair is packed. All the parking spaces were filled. Except for....
*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey isn't that Ky's car?" Chipp said as he exited his vehicle with Axl. Two of the fortunate few who actually got to there in time to get a parking space. He pointed towards the cliff over-looking the fairgrounds.
"I...I think so!" Axl said, straining to see. "But isn't that...you know?"
Chipp grinned. "Yep, Suckface Cliffs. That's the most popular makeout spot for couples I wonder what girl Ky's got up there!"
"I don't know, I always thought Ky was...you know..."
"No way man, just look at the way that car is a rockin'!" Chipp pointed up towards Ky's Porche. The top was up and sure enough, the car was shaking like a Vegas room on free hooker night.
"Daaaang! The windows sure are fogging up quick! Wonder what they are doing in there!"
"I bet it's that Chinese chick!" Chipp said.
Axl laughs. "Puh-lease! You KNOW it's gotta be a guy! Probably that fag Anji, or maybe even Sol!"
"Wanna bet?!"
"You're on!"
Just then Ky and Sol exit the car with Ky holding his crotch and jumping up and down while Sol comes out spitting.
"Why'd you do that Ky! All in my mouth too!" Sol screamed as Ky ran over patting on his groin area.
"What did you expect! You had my privates burning! I couldn't take it anymore!" Ky screams in defense.
"Well be careful next time! Warn someone before you just EXPLODE like that in my face ok?" Sol wipes his mouth and spits on the ground again.
Chipp just stands there with his jaw dropped open. "It...it's true...they ARE gay!" Axl merely chuckles and reaches out a hand to Chipp. Chipp angrily dives his hand into his pocket and slaps a 20 in Axl's hand. "Dang Ky...off all the guys...I'd have never guessed..."
Chipp and Axl both turn and walk towards the gates of the fair. Axl with his head high and Chipp with his low.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Oooooh no! No way we're going to Suckface Cliffs!" Sol screamed as Ky pointed out the parking space.
"We've got no other choice man! Besides no one will see us. Just keep cool." Ky pulled up and turned the car off as he let up the top. "Let's go--SOL!?" Ky turns to see Sol lighting up a ciggarette. "What are you doing man! Put that out!"
"Cool it kid! I just need a quick smoke!" Sol took another puff.
"I said no smoking and I mean it! Keep smoking and you're walking home!"
"Fine!" Sol angrily tosses the still lit cigarrette towards the open ash tray near the gear shift, however it bounces off and lands in Ky's lap.
"A Pillar by night!!!!" Ky screams as he frantically jumps around trying to put the fire out in his lap.
"Watch it man!" Sol screamed, dodging Ky's flailing limbs. "Watch where you're swinging your--Ouch!" Sol get's popped in the mouth by Ky's foot as Ky opens the door, and jumps out to let the cigarrette hit the ground outside. He jumps up and down on it to stomp it out. While patting his lap to extinguish the heat. Sol spits the blood out of his mouth that Ky accidentally drew from the foot to the face.
"Why'd you do that Ky! All in my mouth too!" Sol screamed as Ky ran over patting on his groin area.
"What did you expect! You had my privates burning! I couldn't take it anymore!" Ky screams in defense.
"Well be careful next time! Warn someone before you just EXPLODE like that in my face ok?" Sol wipes his mouth and spits on the ground again.
"Sooooory!" Ky said while rolling his eyes. It's just not everyday that a flaming cigarrette thrown in my lap!"
"Whatever. Let's just go before someone sees us up here."
"Agreed"
Ky and Sol quickly and cautiously made their way down the hill and to the gates. Anji is at the ticket booth chewing on bubble gum and twirling his hair in his fingers as he reads over a Playgirl magazine. "Ooh! I'd like some of THAT!" He says as he fans his neck and lets out a pleasureful sigh. "I sure wish a nice scrong man would come my way." Anji looks up from his mag as two shadows cover it. "Oh no you di-int!" Anji shouts while standing up. "I know you did NOT just cover up my..." Anji's eyes fall on Ky and Sol. "...man." Anji blushes slightly. "Oh excuse me, I didn't know it'd be you two."
Sol cocks an eyebrow. "Do we..."
"Know you?" Ky finishes for him with a similar look on his face.
Anji smiles as he places his index finger loosely in his mouth and gently bites it while looking at the two seductively. "Just call me a secret admirer." Sol and Ky both wince and turn away slightly disgusted. "So what can I get for two handsome men like you?"
"We'd just like admittance into the carnival please." Ky said as he took out his wallet.
"Well..." Anji began. "We have a special rate for couples."
"WHAT?!?!" Sol fumes as he pressed his hands to the glass. "We're not a couple!"
Anji rolled his eyes back and opened his mouth while fanning himself again. "Please! Don't get me exited!"
Sol suddenly felt sick so he covered his mouth and pushed Ky forward to talk to the...man?
"What my friend here is trying to say, is that we aren't like that." Ky said in a polite tone.
"Oh..." Anji said slightly dissapointed. "Don't tell me you're one of those men who waste a body like yours on a woman!"
"Well, yeah of course." Ky replied.
Anji gasped while grabbing his heart and falling back against the wall with the back of his other hand draped across his forehead. "Well I never!" Anji regained his composure and quickly pulled off 2 tickets from the roll. "That'll be 20 world dollars!"
"NANI?!?" Sol screamed as he jumped back towards the window. "That's highway robbery!"
"It's full price is what it is!" Anji said while snapping his neck at Sol. "Couples get the discount, you pay full price!"
Sol angrily grumbles and folds his arms. "I refuse!"
Ky sighs and steps forward with his wallet open. "It's ok Sol, I'll pay for yours too." Ky slipped an Honest Abe to Anji through the small hole in the base of the window.
"Ooooh! So you ARE gay!" Anji said as he grasps Ky's hand and begins to stroke the back of it.
"Nyah-ahh-ahh!!!" Ky says in a Curly Howard tone, his voice returns to normal as he continues. "No, I'm not!" He snatches the tickets and pulls his hand back.
Anji smiled and leaned up to the window. "No need to be shy! Just let it all go as you make your music to each other!"
Ky scratched his head. "Music?"
"Yes!" Anji screamed. "Your sweet love music! The music you make when you exchange happy butter!"
"THAT'S IT!!!" Sol screamed, storming towards Anji's booth. "LET ME AT 'EM!"
"No Sol!" Ky placed his hands between Sol and the booth. "Violence is not the answer!"
"You're such a boyscout!" Sol bellowed.
"I was a girlscout once." Anji added in. Ky and Sol both raised an eyebrow and backed away from Anji's booth a little.
"What should I do God?" Ky sighed.
Sol stopped for a second. "God? I don't want to have anything with him!"
Ky sighed again, much louder this time. "Why me?"
"Don't worry Ky, I just wanna 'play' with him for a while." Sol gritted through his teeth.
Anji grinned and winked at Sol. "Aw listen to the man Ky, it's obvious he wants to make music with me now instead of you."
"WE NEVER EVEN--" Ky's words are stopped short as Sol speaks up.
"Actually he's right Ky."
"N-Nani?!" Ky quickly let go of Sol.
Anji smiles and does a little spin in the booth while clapping his hands together. "See! So what kind of sweet music will you play for me? Love, romance..." Anji lowered his voice "...passion...." Anji opened his mouth slightly and stuck his index finger on his front row of teeth, he bites it playfully with a growl and a wink.
"Actually..." Sol turned sideways and bent down a little. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'chin'"
Anji scratched his head. "Sweet Chin Music? I don't get it.."
"Just repeat after me." Sol said. "I'm just a Sexy boy!"
"...sexy bo--" WHAM!!!!! Sol's size 12s made contact with Anji's chin as the badguy drove his boots through the ticket box window and into Anji's face.
Sol dislodged his foot, dropped it back to the ground and shook his shoulders a little. "I'm not your boy toy!"
Ky shook his head ashamed and slowly walked off. Sol strutted behind Ky shaking his booty and singing as the sounds of Sweet Chin Music played from the booth. {"I'm just a sexy boy! I'm not your boy toy!"} Sol continued to sing and strut while Ky tried to cover his face and walk ahead of Sol. Hopefully no one would recognize them.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, isn't that Sol and Ky over there?" May said while pointing to the two as they made their way through the crowds.
Johnny lowered his shades and looked. "You're right, that IS them." Johnny said. He stood on his tip toes and started waving while yelling. "Hey Sol ove--" Johnny was about to call them over when May's hand covered his mouth.
"Shhhhhh! Don't let them know you're over here!"
"But May, Why not?"
May rolled her eyes and sighed. "For one, Ky's the enemy, he'll arrest try to arrest us."
"Oh May you're overeacting, I doubt Ky is here on business, besides I don't think he'd do that if he was."
"But don't you know about them?" May asked inquisitively.
"Yeah, Ky is an ex Holy Knight, so is Sol and--"
"No no no! Don't you know about the nature of their relationship?" May said as she held out her palm parrallel to the ground while rotating her wrist side to side. "You know....."
Johnny's mouth dropped open slightly. ".....no way......"
May nodded. "Yes way. Just look at Ky's clothes, it's obvious he's the 'girl' in the relationship."
Johnny looked Ky over from the sidelines and noticed Ky's pink attire. "I....I'd have never guessed. But...that doesn't mean anything. I...I don't think they are like that."
"Oh no?" May said confidently. "Let's just follow them and see shall we?"
"Deal!"
And with that, the captain of the Mayship and it's most popular member silently crept through the crowds and followed Sol and Ky.
After about 10 minutes of snooping, no concrete evidence was found . All their actions were completely ambiguous. Stopping for food, playing a few games. Johnny wasn't convinced, in fact he was more sure than ever they were just friends. He was about to tell May it was time to go, when he noticed something strange. Ky and Sol ducking into....a photo booth? This he had to see.
"See? They are getting some kissy kissy pics done!" May said, pointing at the booth.
"Nonsense. There's no proof." Johnny defended.
May thought for a moment. "I know, when the pics are shot they drop out for a moment before the people come out the booth. Let's hide nearby and when the pics come out we take a quick peek and run for it ok?"
"Sounds like a good idea May. Let's do it!" With that, they both ran behind the booth and waited. After two flashes, May looks around the corner but quickly pulls back as Ky sticks his head out the window and looks around suspiciously.
"Who's there!" Ky said before looking around and quickly ducking back inside. May and Johnny's hearts now beating like crazy.
"That was close!" May said breathing heavily.
"Just wait till they're done." Johnny advised. After a few more flashes, the machine whirred and dropped a line of pictures out. May quickly snatched them up and held them in front of their faces.
Frame one: Sol's hand is lovingly placed on Ky's cheek as he stares into his eyes with a look of intent.
Frame two: Sol and Ky are both sitting upright but Sol has his left arm wrapped around Ky's shoulder as they both smile.
Frame three: Ky is bent over facing the window and Sol is standing behind him with his hand on Ky's butt.
Frame four: Ky is standing, facing Sol who is sitting with his mouth open and his hands stretched out, Ky has his hands on his belt like he is about to take it off.
Frame five: Sol is bent down with his hands on his throat coughing up some white substance, Ky's back is to the camera but his elbows are in an angle that suggests his hands are again at his waist. His head back and to the left, a sigh of pleasure and relief on his face.
Johnny's eyes bulged so far they knocked the lenses out of his shades. As the lenses dropped to the ground May's mouth beat them to it.
"I....I...I stand corrected." Johnny said as he handed the film strip back.
"I stand disgusted...." May said while dropping the film back in place and quickly running off with Johnny running alongside her with his hand over her mouth.
"No! Not here May! Please just hold it to you get to the--" SPLAT! "...bathroom...."
*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, isn't that a film booth!" Ky said to Sol as they stopped near it.
"Yeah, so what?" Sol answered.
"Let's take some pictures!"
"No way! Count me out!"
"Come on Sol, it'll be fun. Taking booth pictures is another hobby of mine."
"No way you're gonna get me to--Quick get inside!" Sol jumped inside and Ky followed, slightly confused. Sol was on the left and Ky on the right, near the entrance window.
Once inside Ky spoke up. "What was that all about?"
"Man, I just saw that guitar broad walk by!"
"You mean I-No? She's a freak man!"
"Don't I know it, I've banged--"
"NO! I didn't mean it like that, I meant she's a freak of nature. I've never seen such a wild and reckless woman!"
"What about that Chinese chick?" Sol asked.
"Oh, you mean Kuradoberi? She's..." Ky let his voice trail off with mumbles.
"Yeah, I-No is like Jam squared. Multiplied by horny. Our relationship is over but she keeps coming back for more."
"Maybe you just owe her some money or something."
"Nah..." Sol popped his collar. "You know what they say, once you've tried Sol you've tried the best there is."
"....That doesn't even rhyme..."
"Is it supposed to?"
"Aargh! Forget it. Let's just take some pictures!"
"Whatever."
Ky fed a world Dollar into the money slot and some bright lights came on. A small nat that was sitting on it flew off and into Ky's eye.
"The apostle Paul!!!!" Ky screamed as he shut his eyes. "Sol, is there anything in it?"
"Man I don't wanna look in no dude's eyes!"
"If you don't help I'll tell the next girl we see about your Febreeze showers!"
"....you wouldn't...."
"Try me!"
"OK! Geez!" Sol leaned forward and grabbed Ky's face, moving it into a better light as he looked for the bug. Just then a picture flashed. "Nah, you must have cried it out or something."
"Oh good!" Ky said. "Crap, we missed the first shot. Just sit up and look at the camera this time."
"Yeah whatever." Sol got an idea after saying that. He'd tap on Ky's left shoulder, with luck he'd think someone else did it and look around, it'd screw up the pic and piss him off. Perfect. With that Sol slowly reached his arm around Ky's shoulder without him knowing it. He tapped on his shoulder just as another flash happened.
Ky, thinking someone from outside tapped him, looked outside. "Who's there!"
As Ky leaned out, Sol decided to tap on Ky's back and let him know it was just a joke. But just as he reached, Ky backed up and Sol's hand accidentally touched Ky's butt. "A crown of thorns!!!!" Ky shouted as he knocked Sol's hand back suddenly. "So it IS true!" Ky shouts at Sol.
"What?!? How dare yo--"
"Silence! Ky stood in front of Sol and grasped his belt-buckle. "Don't make me beat you back with this!" Ky grabbed his buckle as it caught the light and shone in Sol's face, bliding him as another flash took their picture.
"Hey cut that crap out Ky!" Sol said while holding his hands up to shield the light. "You know I ain't like that! I was ONLY try--" Sol began to hack and cough, apparently the light that reflected off Ky's belt into his face was intense enough to attract a rather large beetle towards Sol's mouth. It flew in as he screamed. Sol instinctively bit down by accident, crushing the bug in his teeth. He grabbed his throat and began coughing and trying to spit it out.
"Hey watch it!" Ky said, quickly turning around and holding his belt. "Don't get anything on my belt man! I just polished it!" Ky looked down to see it was clean, he was relieved and tilted his head back and sighed. "You ok Sol?"
Sol continued to cough out the rest of the white bug juice as another flash takes place. "Yeah...I...I'll be ok." Tears welled up in his eyes as he regained his breath. "Don't ya Just Hate it When This Happens?" Sol managed to get out.
"Not as much as I hate cheating AI on video games." Ky said with a hand on his chin. "I'd sure like an interesting story to read about someone elses trials. But where would I find one?" Ky said while holding up his shoulders in an 'I don't know' fashion and shaking his head side to side.
"Didn't you just hear me Ky?" Sol said in an infomercial tone. "I said 'Don't Ya Just Hate it When This Happens'?" Sol said overdoing a chuckle after it. "I wasn't talking about the bug, I meant the great fic about it in the Guilty Gear section on fanfiction.net." Sol said with a wink.
"Oooooh!" Ky said. "You mean the one by that great author 'Deathsythe!"
"Yep, that's the one!"
"I can't believe I missed it all this time! I'll have to check that out as soon as I get home!" Ky said as he turned towards the screen with a wink. (AN: Shameless plug? You bet!)
"Let's just get out of here and grab those pictures before anyone else does." Sol said. "I'm pretty sure they'd get the wrong idea if they saw them."
With that Sol and Ky exited the booth.
***********************************************************************
Ok, that's it for the first of 2 chapters. This turned out to be alot longer than expected. So I'll just do it in 2 chapters ok? Well I'll update ASAP. A little author's note for you.
The part with Ky in the car outside of Sol's house was a Bible pun joke for those of you who don't read it or remember, it's like Greek for "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?"
Well tell me what you think ok? I kinda rushed it so I didn't get to check it for all the typos. I'll fix it later and I'm sure Samuraiter will find them for me. Well, review please. And if you have any suggestions for other scenes tell me, since you already know how the story goes.
Ja ne
D-sythe
Disclaimer: I don't own Guilty Gear X, if I did Ky would be in it alot more. No, GGX as well as the rest of the series, is the property of Daisuke Ishiwatari, Sammy, and Arc Works System. I'm sure a few others as well but who cares about them? That's like asking the name of the director of Dragonball GT. No one gives a rip, and no one knows. All they know is Akira Toriyama for DBZ. Don't ask me how that exactly ties in with this, cause frankly I don't know myself.
End Disclaimer.
a few notes. () indicate thoughts. ' ' indicate indirect quotes. *~*~*~*~ is a change of perspective. ***** is a change of scene. And {} means the words are sung. Get it? Got it? Good.
"It's Not What It Seems!"
***********************************************************************
"So then she says 'You two would look SO kawaii together!'."
"That one again! Geez I hate that line!"
"You and me both man."
"So what did you tell her after she said that?"
"Oh! Haha, I said um, 'Go screw yourself Bee-otch!' and then I flipped her off!"
"HAHAHA!!!! Good one man! So what happened next?"
"Well she...kinda kicked me in the nuts..."
"Oooooh, I felt that one man. It's not fair. THEY make up stuff about US and when we simply correct them suddenly WE'RE in the wrong."
"That's girls for you, even after a century and a half, I STILL don't get them. I'll never completely understand women."
"Heck I'll never even understand where all these rumors are coming from!"
"Well I guess since we burried the hatchet everyone thinks we're a couple or something."
"Geez, there is a big fat friggan line between 'friendship' and 'skinship' a line that's never been crossed."
"And never WILL be crossed, got that?"
"No need to tell me! Man all these rumors are totally killing my dating life."
"You don't know the half of it, it's been so long since I've had a girlfriend my mind is playing tricks on me."
"Like what?"
"Well heck I found myself hitting on a hot chick with long Raven hair and a nice skirt at this bar last week. Took me till she spoke that I found out it was Testament."
"Whoa! That IS bad. But nothing like my story. I thought I saw a cutie checking out this tea cup collection at one of my favorite stores, so I go and talk to her and get to know her. I asked her out for dinner that night and she said 'Oh I'm sorry but I'm not gay'. So I'm all like 'I'm a GUY!' and then she is like 'I am too!' And then--"
"Wait, wait, wait. By any chance is this person named Bridget?"
"...Yeah, how did you know?"
"You don't want to know" Two plops, followed by two fizzes, and the sound of swallowing follow the voice on the phone.
"Hey I got it!"
"What's that?"
"Lets go cruise the fair."
"That Midnight Carnival? Why would--"
"No no no! There is a regular Carnival going on downtown today. I'm sure alot of girls will be there."
"Oh Good idea! But my ride is anything BUT a chick magnet, we'd be better off going in your car."
"No prob, I'll be over in about...an hour or so ok?"
"Good, let me go get ready."
"Alright, oh and Sol?"
"Yeah Ky?"
"Tell anyone about the Bridget thing and I swear I'll--"
"No worries man, as long as what happened between me and Testament stays between us 3 you've got nothing to worry about."
"Good, ciao!"
"Abayo."
Ky hung up his phone before standing up from his seated position on the couch and repositioning the plush hand stitched French pillows with 'KK' on the front, written in blue letters. A delicate glass coffee table stood in the middle of the room, surrounded by a couch, recliner and love seat. All white velvet, only the finest quality. The golden rays of the mid day sun filtered through the skylight and cascaded down through the crystal chandelier, filling the room with a bright and peaceful light. His living room was nothing short of beautiful, especially for a guy's house, a batchelor at that.
Ky surveys the room making sure nothing was out of place. "Perfect!" He said with a smile. "A house clean enough for God to stay in." That's one thing Ky prided himself in, keeping things in Holy Order. Ky turned right and began walking towards the laundry room in his house, on the far side of his kitchen. He walked in and flipped the light on. Grabbing a big and small towel off the shelf, he made his way up the spiral staircase towards his bathroom.
As everything else in his house, the bathroom was nothing short of spectacular. Saving the free world from a rampaging army of gears has it's benefits. Not really that Ky was rich, just that anything he needed, or wanted for that matter, was provided by the Sacred Order of the Holy Knights. So the marble countertops, carpeted floors, a whirlpool hot tub and a seperate shower was nothing surprising. "I'd better take a quick shower and wash my hair, before I go. Gotta smell fresh for the ladies." Ky stares off into space with a look of bliss on his face. "Maybe I'll see Millia there." Ky awoke from his daydream and quickly undressed before stepping into the shower. {"I've got the urrrrge to Herbal!"}
********
"Abayo." Sol said before hanging up his phone. Taking his propped up feet off of his makeshift coffee table, which was no more than a 2x4 held up by 2 cinder blocks, Sol sat upright on his retro 80's leather sofa. The stuffing all but gone, lay hanging out in several spots. Apparently he rested his Fuenken on the couch on occasion. The once dark brown color is now nothing more than a dull tan, faded away through time. Sol was too cheap to buy new furniture. Even with all the bounty money he collected he still refused to renovate his house. The leaking ceiling dripping into a nearby coffee can was a constant reminder of that fact.
A slight breeze blew through the cracks between the duct tape that sealed his window as Sol stretched his arms over his head. Blowing the scent of his pits into his nostrils. "Whoo man! I gotta take a...roll of deodorant and freshen up." Sol stood from the couch and made his way into the bedroom, avoiding a room full of dirty clothes and used instant Ramen cups. As he entered his room he tried flipping the switch on, but the lights on his ceiling fan didn't come on. "Oh yeah I forgot." He moved to the center of the room and reached up towards the hanging chain switch for the light. Possitioing himself in the gap where one of the blades was missing and grabbing the chain near the top, he feeds links of the chain back through the socket. Then he quickly jerks it back out. Nothing. The light didn't come on. Too bad the chain wasn't stuck and would automatically recoil back in after every click like a good fan was supposed to, if it wasn't broke he wouldn't have had to repeat the slow and tedius process 4 times to get the light to come on.
But as usual, Sol spent his money on beer and 'The Best of Queen' albums instead of fixing up his house. "Now where is that deodorant?" Sol thought outloud while searching his junky room for some stick. But to no avail. "Darn it, well I guess I HAVE to take a shower now..." Sol said in a not too happy tone. "And it's not even Thursday..." He exited his room into the hallway and opened the bathroom door. He swore he heard something move. "Who's there!" Sol said as his hand slowly moved towards the light switch. A voice rang out from the darkness.
"Wait, don't do it!"
"That's it!" Sol screamed while flipping the switch on. His eyes grew to the size of saucers. There on his toilet seat was a cockroach the size of a man. Sitting on the throne with a slightly embarrassed look on his face.
"Do you mind!" The roach said as he turned to Sol. "Oh and do you have the sports secti--"
"BANDIT REVOLVER!!!!!!" Sol sailed across the bathroom with his right foot extending in an outside Crescent kick. Clocking the roach upside the head and knocking him off the seat. Sol lifts his foot to finish the job. But something stops him. He looks down to see a horde of roaches clinging to his skin.
"Arrgh! Get offa me!" Sol says while shaking wildly.
"No! We won't let you kill father!"
Sol pauses for a second. "I...I didn't know he had a family...Geez I'm sorry, I didn't know tha--" Sol came to his senses just in time. "Wait! What am I doing? These are roaches, vermin."
"I bet you have never been an outcast! Living your life on the streets, the rough life, never knowing where you're gonna eat or sleep next. Hated by everyone." The sentiments of the roache's cries touched Sol in a way that he hasn't been touched in a while.
"Gee...I know just how you guys feel."
"Really?"
"Yep..."
Sol walked back out of the bathroom slowly closing the door behind him. He looks down with a genuine look of sadness on his face as a single tear rolls down his left cheek. "My boots...." Sol took a moment to regain his composure. "Oh well, the bathroom is a mess. So I guess a shower is out of the question." Sol tugs on the fabric of his shirt, leans down and takes a sniff. "Hmm...where's that Febreeze?"
*******
Ky reached for a bottle of shampoo after wetting his hair down. But unfortunately for him, his hair was in his eyes and Ky mistakenly reached for the wrong bottle instead of his normal Herbal Essence. He already tried the body wash, now he wanted that same botanical feeling in his scalp. He wanted it to feel like a herd of deer was gently grazing through his folicles as smally bunny rabbits nibbled at the honey blossoms. That's his usual sensation.
This stuff was some home made crap a poor kid was selling off the streets one day. Ky noticed the poor lad as he passed by him on the streets. Ky took pity on him and bought a bottle of his bootleg Shampoo, thinking it would help the kid get his next meal or something. He meant to use it ONE day, just now today.
Ky poured it on and lathered up followed by a rinse and repeat. "Must be getting too use to this stuff, no wonderful botanical experience in my hair today." He stepped out of the shower and grabbed his towel and his bathrobe that he hung on a nearby rail. Putting the robe on and wrapping the towel around his head he crossed the bathroom and walked up to the mirror. Pointing finger guns at the mirror and clicking with his mouth he winked at his reflection. "Looking good tiger!" After a few moments of rubbing the towel through his hair he unwraps it slowly while humming to himself. Ky stopped in mid song as his towel came all the way off. "Great mother of Moses!" Ky stared in horror at his reflection. His treasured natural blonde hair was now...pink.
Running back to the shower, he quickly surveyed the bottle he just used. He read off the words written in magic marker. "'Warning, may cause slight color change!'" Ky let out a sigh as he slumps his shoulders down. "Why me? Well I don't have any dye and no time to rinse it all out, I'll just have to go with it. Maybe no one will notice." Ky leaves the bathroom and makes his way across the hall and into his master bedroom. Which I have neither the time nor patience to describe, this is a humor fic not a friggan poetry contest. His room was big, shiny and clean, that's all you need to know. Or read my G Gear's "No Mercy part 1" for details.
Ky walked over to his walk in closet and searched for something to wear. "I'll go with the normal Knights uniform. Girls LOVE a man in uniform!" He said to himself, but he forgot that he sent them all out to be cleaned...all but one...
"No...not that one...ANYTHING but THAT one!"
*******
Ky pulled up to Sol's house as planned. A few cars drove by honking and laughing at Ky as he tried desperately to slouch down in his seat to avoid being seen. More cars passed, all occupied by many pretty young girls. And around the 9th hour Ky cried out with a loud voice. "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachtani?"
Ky began to honk the horn frantically, he wanted out of there ASAP. "Darn it Sol! Move your butt!" It had been almost 4 minutes since he pulled up and still no sign of Sol. At that moment another carpool of girls rode by, Ky caught a glimpse of some of them before quickly ducking out of sight before they could spot him. "Oh great, that looked like Millia, Jam, and the others! Hope they didn't see me!" Ky checks the rear view mirror to see them heading in the direction of downtown. "Maybe they are going to the carnival too. I hope to see Millia there."
A few moments later Sol emerges from the house through the window. He begins to walk down the walkway towards Ky's red Porche when he spots Ky's outfit.
"Sorry Ky, the door wouldn't open so I had to-- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" Sol begins pointing and laughing before hitting the ground and rolling on the floor laughing. Tears come to his eyes as he strains to hold back his laughter long enough to look up, what he sees is not only Ky's hair but his matching pink outfit as well. "Oh this is too rich! Where's my camera! HAHA!"
"Don't even start Sol!" Ky grits through his teeth. "Geez I never wear this one so it didn't need cleaning ok? It's the only one I had!" Ky diverts his eyes to Sol's shoes. He quickly turns his head and covers his mouth. "Man what did you step in?"
"Long story." Sol said as he opened the door.
"Oh no you don't! Those shoes are NOT getting in my car! Go wash them off or something.
With a sigh Sol closed Ky's door and treaded across his front lawn. Not mowed in months. The grass came up to his chest. He slowly but surely made his way to the side of the house where his faucet was located. Turning it on and allowing a few minutes for the backup rust deposits to clear out, he proceeded to rinse off his boots. When he was done he turned back and started towards the car again.
"Stupid roaches, always messing up a perfectly good pair of--Woah!" Sol suddenly dropped from Ky's sight and into the netherlands of his yard.
"You ok Sol?" Ky asked concerned.
"Start the car man! Start the car!" Sol's voice boomed from the grass.
Ky quickly crunk his car up and reved the engine upon Sol's request. He continues to search the field for signs of Sol but he can see none. "Sol! Where are yo--Holy burning bushes!" Ky jumps back as the face of Sol gets plastered against the window. Sol frantically shakes his left leg still hidden in the brush.
"Darn it you son of a! Let go!" Sol punches into the grass and his leg breaks free. He quickly opens the door and hops in. "Drive! Just drive!" Sol screamed as Ky put the car in gear.
Ky pulls off from Sol's house, makes a U Turn and heads towards downtown. "What was that all about Sol?"
"Pesky Lions again, I'm soooo tired of them hiding in my grass!" Sol folds his arms angrily with a ticked off sigh. He shakes his head and reclines his seat backwards. Ky simply gives one of those 'oooooook' kinda looks and directs his attention at the road ahead of him.
After a few minutes, Sol leans forward and turn on the radio. "How 'bout some cruising tunes?"
"Fine by me." Ky spoke as Sol turns on the radio and scans the airwaves.
{"Another one bites the dus--"} Ky flips the station quickly to something to suit his tastes.
{"Micheal rowed the boat ashore--"}
Sol suddenly jumps sits up. "Oh HEYALL naw!" He changes back to his beloved Queen.
{"And another one gone, and another one go--"}
"My car shall be a car of prayer! How dare you turn it into a den of robbers!" {"Halleluhah! Miche--"}
{"How ya think we're gonna get alo--"}
{"Ashore halle--"}
{"The dust! anoth--"}
"FINE!" Ky says as he turns the radio to a neutral station. "We'll listen to THIS then."
Loud Guitar riffs, heavy drums and bumping bass beats fill the car as the voice comes from the radio. {"I...I feel so alive! For the very first time! I can't deny you! I feel so alive! I..."}
"Ah! 'Payable On Death', gotta love that band!" Sol sighed as he propped his feet up once more.
Ky smiled and cranked the music up louder. "It's an oldie, but a goodie!"
******
Ky and Sol pull up to the fairgrounds a few minutes later. From the look of things the fair is packed. All the parking spaces were filled. Except for....
*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey isn't that Ky's car?" Chipp said as he exited his vehicle with Axl. Two of the fortunate few who actually got to there in time to get a parking space. He pointed towards the cliff over-looking the fairgrounds.
"I...I think so!" Axl said, straining to see. "But isn't that...you know?"
Chipp grinned. "Yep, Suckface Cliffs. That's the most popular makeout spot for couples I wonder what girl Ky's got up there!"
"I don't know, I always thought Ky was...you know..."
"No way man, just look at the way that car is a rockin'!" Chipp pointed up towards Ky's Porche. The top was up and sure enough, the car was shaking like a Vegas room on free hooker night.
"Daaaang! The windows sure are fogging up quick! Wonder what they are doing in there!"
"I bet it's that Chinese chick!" Chipp said.
Axl laughs. "Puh-lease! You KNOW it's gotta be a guy! Probably that fag Anji, or maybe even Sol!"
"Wanna bet?!"
"You're on!"
Just then Ky and Sol exit the car with Ky holding his crotch and jumping up and down while Sol comes out spitting.
"Why'd you do that Ky! All in my mouth too!" Sol screamed as Ky ran over patting on his groin area.
"What did you expect! You had my privates burning! I couldn't take it anymore!" Ky screams in defense.
"Well be careful next time! Warn someone before you just EXPLODE like that in my face ok?" Sol wipes his mouth and spits on the ground again.
Chipp just stands there with his jaw dropped open. "It...it's true...they ARE gay!" Axl merely chuckles and reaches out a hand to Chipp. Chipp angrily dives his hand into his pocket and slaps a 20 in Axl's hand. "Dang Ky...off all the guys...I'd have never guessed..."
Chipp and Axl both turn and walk towards the gates of the fair. Axl with his head high and Chipp with his low.
*~*~*~*~*~
"Oooooh no! No way we're going to Suckface Cliffs!" Sol screamed as Ky pointed out the parking space.
"We've got no other choice man! Besides no one will see us. Just keep cool." Ky pulled up and turned the car off as he let up the top. "Let's go--SOL!?" Ky turns to see Sol lighting up a ciggarette. "What are you doing man! Put that out!"
"Cool it kid! I just need a quick smoke!" Sol took another puff.
"I said no smoking and I mean it! Keep smoking and you're walking home!"
"Fine!" Sol angrily tosses the still lit cigarrette towards the open ash tray near the gear shift, however it bounces off and lands in Ky's lap.
"A Pillar by night!!!!" Ky screams as he frantically jumps around trying to put the fire out in his lap.
"Watch it man!" Sol screamed, dodging Ky's flailing limbs. "Watch where you're swinging your--Ouch!" Sol get's popped in the mouth by Ky's foot as Ky opens the door, and jumps out to let the cigarrette hit the ground outside. He jumps up and down on it to stomp it out. While patting his lap to extinguish the heat. Sol spits the blood out of his mouth that Ky accidentally drew from the foot to the face.
"Why'd you do that Ky! All in my mouth too!" Sol screamed as Ky ran over patting on his groin area.
"What did you expect! You had my privates burning! I couldn't take it anymore!" Ky screams in defense.
"Well be careful next time! Warn someone before you just EXPLODE like that in my face ok?" Sol wipes his mouth and spits on the ground again.
"Sooooory!" Ky said while rolling his eyes. It's just not everyday that a flaming cigarrette thrown in my lap!"
"Whatever. Let's just go before someone sees us up here."
"Agreed"
Ky and Sol quickly and cautiously made their way down the hill and to the gates. Anji is at the ticket booth chewing on bubble gum and twirling his hair in his fingers as he reads over a Playgirl magazine. "Ooh! I'd like some of THAT!" He says as he fans his neck and lets out a pleasureful sigh. "I sure wish a nice scrong man would come my way." Anji looks up from his mag as two shadows cover it. "Oh no you di-int!" Anji shouts while standing up. "I know you did NOT just cover up my..." Anji's eyes fall on Ky and Sol. "...man." Anji blushes slightly. "Oh excuse me, I didn't know it'd be you two."
Sol cocks an eyebrow. "Do we..."
"Know you?" Ky finishes for him with a similar look on his face.
Anji smiles as he places his index finger loosely in his mouth and gently bites it while looking at the two seductively. "Just call me a secret admirer." Sol and Ky both wince and turn away slightly disgusted. "So what can I get for two handsome men like you?"
"We'd just like admittance into the carnival please." Ky said as he took out his wallet.
"Well..." Anji began. "We have a special rate for couples."
"WHAT?!?!" Sol fumes as he pressed his hands to the glass. "We're not a couple!"
Anji rolled his eyes back and opened his mouth while fanning himself again. "Please! Don't get me exited!"
Sol suddenly felt sick so he covered his mouth and pushed Ky forward to talk to the...man?
"What my friend here is trying to say, is that we aren't like that." Ky said in a polite tone.
"Oh..." Anji said slightly dissapointed. "Don't tell me you're one of those men who waste a body like yours on a woman!"
"Well, yeah of course." Ky replied.
Anji gasped while grabbing his heart and falling back against the wall with the back of his other hand draped across his forehead. "Well I never!" Anji regained his composure and quickly pulled off 2 tickets from the roll. "That'll be 20 world dollars!"
"NANI?!?" Sol screamed as he jumped back towards the window. "That's highway robbery!"
"It's full price is what it is!" Anji said while snapping his neck at Sol. "Couples get the discount, you pay full price!"
Sol angrily grumbles and folds his arms. "I refuse!"
Ky sighs and steps forward with his wallet open. "It's ok Sol, I'll pay for yours too." Ky slipped an Honest Abe to Anji through the small hole in the base of the window.
"Ooooh! So you ARE gay!" Anji said as he grasps Ky's hand and begins to stroke the back of it.
"Nyah-ahh-ahh!!!" Ky says in a Curly Howard tone, his voice returns to normal as he continues. "No, I'm not!" He snatches the tickets and pulls his hand back.
Anji smiled and leaned up to the window. "No need to be shy! Just let it all go as you make your music to each other!"
Ky scratched his head. "Music?"
"Yes!" Anji screamed. "Your sweet love music! The music you make when you exchange happy butter!"
"THAT'S IT!!!" Sol screamed, storming towards Anji's booth. "LET ME AT 'EM!"
"No Sol!" Ky placed his hands between Sol and the booth. "Violence is not the answer!"
"You're such a boyscout!" Sol bellowed.
"I was a girlscout once." Anji added in. Ky and Sol both raised an eyebrow and backed away from Anji's booth a little.
"What should I do God?" Ky sighed.
Sol stopped for a second. "God? I don't want to have anything with him!"
Ky sighed again, much louder this time. "Why me?"
"Don't worry Ky, I just wanna 'play' with him for a while." Sol gritted through his teeth.
Anji grinned and winked at Sol. "Aw listen to the man Ky, it's obvious he wants to make music with me now instead of you."
"WE NEVER EVEN--" Ky's words are stopped short as Sol speaks up.
"Actually he's right Ky."
"N-Nani?!" Ky quickly let go of Sol.
Anji smiles and does a little spin in the booth while clapping his hands together. "See! So what kind of sweet music will you play for me? Love, romance..." Anji lowered his voice "...passion...." Anji opened his mouth slightly and stuck his index finger on his front row of teeth, he bites it playfully with a growl and a wink.
"Actually..." Sol turned sideways and bent down a little. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'chin'"
Anji scratched his head. "Sweet Chin Music? I don't get it.."
"Just repeat after me." Sol said. "I'm just a Sexy boy!"
"...sexy bo--" WHAM!!!!! Sol's size 12s made contact with Anji's chin as the badguy drove his boots through the ticket box window and into Anji's face.
Sol dislodged his foot, dropped it back to the ground and shook his shoulders a little. "I'm not your boy toy!"
Ky shook his head ashamed and slowly walked off. Sol strutted behind Ky shaking his booty and singing as the sounds of Sweet Chin Music played from the booth. {"I'm just a sexy boy! I'm not your boy toy!"} Sol continued to sing and strut while Ky tried to cover his face and walk ahead of Sol. Hopefully no one would recognize them.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, isn't that Sol and Ky over there?" May said while pointing to the two as they made their way through the crowds.
Johnny lowered his shades and looked. "You're right, that IS them." Johnny said. He stood on his tip toes and started waving while yelling. "Hey Sol ove--" Johnny was about to call them over when May's hand covered his mouth.
"Shhhhhh! Don't let them know you're over here!"
"But May, Why not?"
May rolled her eyes and sighed. "For one, Ky's the enemy, he'll arrest try to arrest us."
"Oh May you're overeacting, I doubt Ky is here on business, besides I don't think he'd do that if he was."
"But don't you know about them?" May asked inquisitively.
"Yeah, Ky is an ex Holy Knight, so is Sol and--"
"No no no! Don't you know about the nature of their relationship?" May said as she held out her palm parrallel to the ground while rotating her wrist side to side. "You know....."
Johnny's mouth dropped open slightly. ".....no way......"
May nodded. "Yes way. Just look at Ky's clothes, it's obvious he's the 'girl' in the relationship."
Johnny looked Ky over from the sidelines and noticed Ky's pink attire. "I....I'd have never guessed. But...that doesn't mean anything. I...I don't think they are like that."
"Oh no?" May said confidently. "Let's just follow them and see shall we?"
"Deal!"
And with that, the captain of the Mayship and it's most popular member silently crept through the crowds and followed Sol and Ky.
After about 10 minutes of snooping, no concrete evidence was found . All their actions were completely ambiguous. Stopping for food, playing a few games. Johnny wasn't convinced, in fact he was more sure than ever they were just friends. He was about to tell May it was time to go, when he noticed something strange. Ky and Sol ducking into....a photo booth? This he had to see.
"See? They are getting some kissy kissy pics done!" May said, pointing at the booth.
"Nonsense. There's no proof." Johnny defended.
May thought for a moment. "I know, when the pics are shot they drop out for a moment before the people come out the booth. Let's hide nearby and when the pics come out we take a quick peek and run for it ok?"
"Sounds like a good idea May. Let's do it!" With that, they both ran behind the booth and waited. After two flashes, May looks around the corner but quickly pulls back as Ky sticks his head out the window and looks around suspiciously.
"Who's there!" Ky said before looking around and quickly ducking back inside. May and Johnny's hearts now beating like crazy.
"That was close!" May said breathing heavily.
"Just wait till they're done." Johnny advised. After a few more flashes, the machine whirred and dropped a line of pictures out. May quickly snatched them up and held them in front of their faces.
Frame one: Sol's hand is lovingly placed on Ky's cheek as he stares into his eyes with a look of intent.
Frame two: Sol and Ky are both sitting upright but Sol has his left arm wrapped around Ky's shoulder as they both smile.
Frame three: Ky is bent over facing the window and Sol is standing behind him with his hand on Ky's butt.
Frame four: Ky is standing, facing Sol who is sitting with his mouth open and his hands stretched out, Ky has his hands on his belt like he is about to take it off.
Frame five: Sol is bent down with his hands on his throat coughing up some white substance, Ky's back is to the camera but his elbows are in an angle that suggests his hands are again at his waist. His head back and to the left, a sigh of pleasure and relief on his face.
Johnny's eyes bulged so far they knocked the lenses out of his shades. As the lenses dropped to the ground May's mouth beat them to it.
"I....I...I stand corrected." Johnny said as he handed the film strip back.
"I stand disgusted...." May said while dropping the film back in place and quickly running off with Johnny running alongside her with his hand over her mouth.
"No! Not here May! Please just hold it to you get to the--" SPLAT! "...bathroom...."
*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, isn't that a film booth!" Ky said to Sol as they stopped near it.
"Yeah, so what?" Sol answered.
"Let's take some pictures!"
"No way! Count me out!"
"Come on Sol, it'll be fun. Taking booth pictures is another hobby of mine."
"No way you're gonna get me to--Quick get inside!" Sol jumped inside and Ky followed, slightly confused. Sol was on the left and Ky on the right, near the entrance window.
Once inside Ky spoke up. "What was that all about?"
"Man, I just saw that guitar broad walk by!"
"You mean I-No? She's a freak man!"
"Don't I know it, I've banged--"
"NO! I didn't mean it like that, I meant she's a freak of nature. I've never seen such a wild and reckless woman!"
"What about that Chinese chick?" Sol asked.
"Oh, you mean Kuradoberi? She's..." Ky let his voice trail off with mumbles.
"Yeah, I-No is like Jam squared. Multiplied by horny. Our relationship is over but she keeps coming back for more."
"Maybe you just owe her some money or something."
"Nah..." Sol popped his collar. "You know what they say, once you've tried Sol you've tried the best there is."
"....That doesn't even rhyme..."
"Is it supposed to?"
"Aargh! Forget it. Let's just take some pictures!"
"Whatever."
Ky fed a world Dollar into the money slot and some bright lights came on. A small nat that was sitting on it flew off and into Ky's eye.
"The apostle Paul!!!!" Ky screamed as he shut his eyes. "Sol, is there anything in it?"
"Man I don't wanna look in no dude's eyes!"
"If you don't help I'll tell the next girl we see about your Febreeze showers!"
"....you wouldn't...."
"Try me!"
"OK! Geez!" Sol leaned forward and grabbed Ky's face, moving it into a better light as he looked for the bug. Just then a picture flashed. "Nah, you must have cried it out or something."
"Oh good!" Ky said. "Crap, we missed the first shot. Just sit up and look at the camera this time."
"Yeah whatever." Sol got an idea after saying that. He'd tap on Ky's left shoulder, with luck he'd think someone else did it and look around, it'd screw up the pic and piss him off. Perfect. With that Sol slowly reached his arm around Ky's shoulder without him knowing it. He tapped on his shoulder just as another flash happened.
Ky, thinking someone from outside tapped him, looked outside. "Who's there!"
As Ky leaned out, Sol decided to tap on Ky's back and let him know it was just a joke. But just as he reached, Ky backed up and Sol's hand accidentally touched Ky's butt. "A crown of thorns!!!!" Ky shouted as he knocked Sol's hand back suddenly. "So it IS true!" Ky shouts at Sol.
"What?!? How dare yo--"
"Silence! Ky stood in front of Sol and grasped his belt-buckle. "Don't make me beat you back with this!" Ky grabbed his buckle as it caught the light and shone in Sol's face, bliding him as another flash took their picture.
"Hey cut that crap out Ky!" Sol said while holding his hands up to shield the light. "You know I ain't like that! I was ONLY try--" Sol began to hack and cough, apparently the light that reflected off Ky's belt into his face was intense enough to attract a rather large beetle towards Sol's mouth. It flew in as he screamed. Sol instinctively bit down by accident, crushing the bug in his teeth. He grabbed his throat and began coughing and trying to spit it out.
"Hey watch it!" Ky said, quickly turning around and holding his belt. "Don't get anything on my belt man! I just polished it!" Ky looked down to see it was clean, he was relieved and tilted his head back and sighed. "You ok Sol?"
Sol continued to cough out the rest of the white bug juice as another flash takes place. "Yeah...I...I'll be ok." Tears welled up in his eyes as he regained his breath. "Don't ya Just Hate it When This Happens?" Sol managed to get out.
"Not as much as I hate cheating AI on video games." Ky said with a hand on his chin. "I'd sure like an interesting story to read about someone elses trials. But where would I find one?" Ky said while holding up his shoulders in an 'I don't know' fashion and shaking his head side to side.
"Didn't you just hear me Ky?" Sol said in an infomercial tone. "I said 'Don't Ya Just Hate it When This Happens'?" Sol said overdoing a chuckle after it. "I wasn't talking about the bug, I meant the great fic about it in the Guilty Gear section on fanfiction.net." Sol said with a wink.
"Oooooh!" Ky said. "You mean the one by that great author 'Deathsythe!"
"Yep, that's the one!"
"I can't believe I missed it all this time! I'll have to check that out as soon as I get home!" Ky said as he turned towards the screen with a wink. (AN: Shameless plug? You bet!)
"Let's just get out of here and grab those pictures before anyone else does." Sol said. "I'm pretty sure they'd get the wrong idea if they saw them."
With that Sol and Ky exited the booth.
***********************************************************************
Ok, that's it for the first of 2 chapters. This turned out to be alot longer than expected. So I'll just do it in 2 chapters ok? Well I'll update ASAP. A little author's note for you.
The part with Ky in the car outside of Sol's house was a Bible pun joke for those of you who don't read it or remember, it's like Greek for "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?"
Well tell me what you think ok? I kinda rushed it so I didn't get to check it for all the typos. I'll fix it later and I'm sure Samuraiter will find them for me. Well, review please. And if you have any suggestions for other scenes tell me, since you already know how the story goes.
Ja ne
D-sythe
