Hullo everybody! I got this silly idea while sitting in Christmas church with school, and it's been wallowing in my head all this time.

By the way, I do not own anything. It all belongs to Mr Tolkien even though I think he was a bit crazy to go through so much trouble for a book.

I would like to dedicate this fic to my friend Virvatuli(go read her Fics, they're better than mine) who has helped me with my stupid problems while I'm sure she had her own ones to handle, listened to my whining, supported me and encouraged me to write my fics. And, of course, I would like to thank her for enlightening me in meny things concerning The Lord Of The Rings. I know more details about it than my friends do.



Chapter 1. 'I Don't think we're in Mordor.'

It was a beautiful winter morning when the students of Kasavuori junior high school gathered outside the church to wait to get inside. It was slightly cold, and only few inches of snow was on the ground. Three girls from class 9a where crouching on the ground, their Lord of the Rings playcards spread on the snow.

'Ahaa!' Anna yelled, tossed her long blond hair, adjusted her glasses and glanced at Mirja smugly. 'Beat this,' she said and slammed the cards on the tabl- umm. ground. Emilia groaned.

'I'm so gonna lose!' she wailed and slumped backwards, forgetting that she was not sitting in a chair. Mirja, on the other hand, put her last card on the snow.

'Well, I quess I'm second.' She sighed. She glared at Anna.

'What?' the blonde asked innocently, blinking, and doing her puppy eye looks with her blue eyes. ''s not my fault if I'm like, the best. Runs in the blood you know. Like the tallness.' And true she was tall. Too tall, for her friends' tastes. Emilia looked like she was ready to attack Anna and strangle her, but fortunately for Anna, the headmistress called the students inside.

In the church lobby they heard a happy yell. 'Legolas!' They glanced at each other and nodded. 'Miksu', they said simultaneously. And true enough, soon came a girl with annoyingly long brown hair very pale skin and a broken bag. Mirja lifted her hand so she would spot them from the crowd of students. Anna tried to prevent her, but too late. Miksu was alredy rushing towards them. Anna sighed, and, sounding defeated, she said, 'Thanks Mirja, now we have to listen to her stupid babbling about Legolas. How could we make her understand that he's mine, not hers?'

Mirja stared at her, annoyed. What do you mean 'yours'? He's mine!'

Emilia decided to join the argument, just for the fun. ''Scuse me, Legsie is mine. I saw him first. So back off.'

'Oh, there you are,' said the long haired girl they called Miksu. 'I thought I was going to be late. My bag decided to go hazard. It wouldn't let me get out of the car. Mum was really pissed off.'

Anna stared at her. 'You know, maybe it wasn't the bag's fault at all. Maybe you should've unfastened the seat belt. Next time remember that. Just as a hint.'

Miksu stared back dumbly and then burst out laughing. 'Yes, you are probably right you know. Funny, you never are. Oh, maybe we should go to the hall, so we get good seats.' she added hastily as she noticed the murderous look her friend was giving her.

'And now, we shall sing the hymn.' the four girls weren't listening the priest's speech. In fact, they hadn't been listening for a good half-hour. Anna and Emilia were playing cards (trying desperately to hide the cards from teachers' eyes) and Mirja and Miksu were talking with hushed tones about anything that was even remotely connected to the Lord of the Rings. 'So, how old is Legsie?' Mirja whispered to her friend.

'Dunno, I remember reading a magazine or a book where Orli claims him to be 1931 years old. But what the other people think, I do not know.'

Mirja frowned. 'Don't play Arwen. Besides, I thought you hated her.'

'I do,' Miksu answered happily. 'I was making fun of her. Duh.' Mirja nodded in understanding.

'Oy, Mirjami.' Anna was leaning forwards to speak with Mirja, who frowned again.

'Don't call me that,' she said, pretending to be hurt. 'What is it?'

'Nothing. I just wanted to annoy you', Anna whispered. 'Be careful,' she added when Mirja frowned again, 'your face will stay that way if you won't stop curling it.'. Mirja looked horrified and smoothed her face. Anna chuckled evilly. Miksu was just about to smack her when-

BOOM! A sudden flash of light lit the hall and everybody screamed. But it soon faded and all was quiet. Every living person stared at the partition (which usually hid the priest before he/she came to speak), including the organist. The history teacher's mouth hung open in mid-sentence of the hymn, and the priest looked like her eyes were going to pop out. Maybe she thought Satan had done something. Something as evil as soap operas.

And then a head peeked from behind the wall. Blond, almost golden hair was beautifully done, small plaits behind the ears. The eyes were slightly darker than the sky, and the skin was smooth and white as a pearl. The four girls had no trouble recognizing the person, but too shocked they were to say anything. Tentatively the body attached to the head came out too. He was tall and lean with slender arms. He had a bow in his right hand, and a pipe in his left, and he carried a bag full of arrows in his back. Something clanked in the back of the hall and the blonde man jumped and dropped the smoking pipe. One hand shot out to grab one arrow and placed it on the string. Shaking, he started to walk backwards, so that he was facing the partition, and pointed at everything possible with his bow. He was clearly frightened out of his wits.

Someone sneezed and the man dropped the bow and squeezed his head with his hands and wailed, 'Aii! Balrog is come, Balrog is come! The history is repeating itself!'

'Hush, Legolas!' Came a hoarse (and very familiar) voice from behind the wall. 'Don't shout, lest you make them angry. We are not in Moria! Is it safe there, oh Prince?'

Legolas looked bashful and lowered his hands. 'Yes. I think so. Come on out.'

First came a man who looked like he was in his mid-forties. He was wearing very dirty clothes and had a sword dangling from his belt. Behind him came four little men, all very short, but from their faces they looked like twenty-years old. They looked very confused. Then came a fat man with red and unruly beard wearing a helmet. He was puffing and looked slightly breathless. 'Let *hee* them *hee* come, there is *hee* still one *hee* Dwarf in *hee* Moria who *hee* still draws *hee* breath *hee*- Oh, never mind.'

Mirja and Miksu glanced at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they turned their attention back to the men before them.

The last person came to view. A tall, old man in white garments, beard and a stick. They all stared at their wordless audience.

One of the short men which Mirja, Anna, Emilia and Miksu quessed was Frodo, walked to the dirty man the girls had quessed to be Strider and grabbed his sleeve. Blinking hard, he said, 'You know, Aragorn. I don't think we're in Mordor.'

So, whatcha think? A bit short, I know, but it's only the first chapter. If you liked this, please review. I won't do more chapters if everyone hated it. Including my friends. We'll see if they're gonna sue me.