Holding on to the Rooftops- Black Widow


Scott stared ahead blankly trying to deal with his rampid emotions. He wanted to cry, but his supply of tears was diminished; he wanted to scream, but he couldn't find his voice; he wanted to throw things around, but he couldn't move. He peered over at Elaine; she was humming quietly to the Top 40 song that was playing on the radio. Every time she moved, or spoke Scott felt a little tug in his stomach. He just didn't know what to do. How do you react to something like this? Over and over again he tried to process everything that had happened but it just didn't make sense. How could he have gone from two loving parents, a great home, and the best girlfriend in the world to this?

"We're almost there Scotty," Elaine said interrupting Scott's thoughts.

Scott chose to not respond and instead changed the radio station. He stopped on some alternative station that was playing some rock song. Trying to avoid his thoughts Scott tuned in to the song- listening to the words for once.

This is the stuff that makes us, and it's kind of contagious.
Won't swallow the pill that life decides to give to us.
I see your face in the middle of the storm,
Can't rely on myself because myself's all gone- all gone.

There goes the world again,
I just might lose my head,
I'm in your circle now.

There goes the world again,
I just might lose my head,
I'm in your circle.

Tie me to the helm because this ships set to sink,
Should I stay or should I swim?
I don't know what do you think?
I see your face in the middle of the storm,
Can't rely on myself because myself's all gone.

There goes the world again,
I just might lose my head,
I'm in your circle now.
There goes the world again,
I just might lose my head,
I'm in your circle

Scott couldn't help but feel that was what was going on in his life right now. The song made him feel like someone else knew what he was going through- and Scott liked that feeling. Scott was thinking back to the times when Elaine, his Father, and him had lived together. He used to get everything he wanted- mainly due to Elaine.

"Elaine," Scott said trying his best to be civil.

"Hmm," she said realizing this was her opportunity to talk to Scott with out him calling her skank or something of that variety.

"I was just wondering if maybe after dinner we could go and buy some CD's. I mean, I haven't been able to listen to any for a year, and well…"

"I understand Scotty, of course. Here we are," Elaine said in a motherly tone. This made Scott sick because it showed how big of a hypocrite she was but he was getting what he wanted- for now.

The pulled up into Rusty's and Scott waited for Elaine to start walking towards the door. Once inside Scott saw a forty-something man waving at them. Elaine smiled her fake smile and walked over to the table.

"Scotty, this is Landon. Landon, this is Scott," Elaine said playing the part as well as she always did.

"Hello Scott," Landon said extending his hand to him. Scott looked at it before deciding it wasn't this creeps fault he married an insane woman. He gave it a firm shake earning a chuckle from Landon. Scott began sizing Landon up; he wasn't balding in anyway but his hair was starting to get little snippets of gray- he looked very distinguished. Scott just prayed he would satisfy Elaine's lust.

"Hey," Scott said finally sitting down next to him and across from Elaine.



Scott woke with a start; he wasn't where he should be. Scott looked around the dark room trying to figure out where he was. Somebody in the back screamed at him to remember but Scott could not. Rolling out of the bed he was currently occupying he searched around the room trying to find a light switch. He patiently groped around the walls as the wind beat against them. Scott couldn't find the light switch but a sudden lightning bolt lit up his room better than a light bulb ever could.

"Storm," Scott said as his brain began to form more coherent sentences. "Storm bad, storm, storm, ELAINE!"

Scott fell back on to the bed breathing heavy as the day's events whizzed around in his brain taunting him. How could he have slipped into a comfort zone as sedated as this one was? Scott knew the answer but tried not to acknowledge it. He had learned this in Horizon. It was a defense mechanism; denial. Scott held his head; it was just easier to be in denial than accept what was happening. The world of denial, in Scott's opinion, was highly under appreciated. In this world everything was perfect- his parents were alive, he had never been molested, and most importantly Shelby was in the room next to him. Yes, the world of denial was definitely alluring. Another memory jolted Scott's nerves.

"I know that before you came to Horizon… you used drugs to deal with your emotions about Elaine. I ran away… Don't do either Scott. You're strong now, you are. You don't need to run away or use drugs to cope with your problems you have the tools now. And if Elaine… if she tries anything you can stop her Scott, you can, you have the power. If you ever need anything you have Peter, Sophie, David, Daisy, Auggie, Juliette and me here for you. We're all here for you, don't forget that."

Scott knew what Shelby would say if she saw what he was doing and he instantly felt ashamed. "No," he said aloud to himself and the undying wind. "I won't, I promised Shelby. I can do this, I can deal, I will be fine. I have the power, I have the power," Scott told himself.

Though realizing the corniness of his actions- Scott was comforted. And it wasn't the false comfort that was so alluring and seductive, no, it was the kind that you could feel. The kind that went pulsing through your veins, the kind of self-assurance that no one could take away from you. Looking down at his palms Scott felt sick with himself; how had he allowed himself to be civil with Elaine for some stupid CDs?

"Scotty," Elaine said from his door, sending Scott slipping off his bed.

"Along came the spider," Scott mumbled under his breath.

"Scotty are you okay?" Elaine persisted.

"Is this how you're doing it now? Pretending to care and then forcing them into it? Real smooth Elaine, you almost had me," Scott said laughing at his moment of faltering.

"What are you talking about Scott? I just came in here to see if you were okay. The noise you were making in here could wake the dead. Now that I see you're your normal 'chipper' self I'll be going back to my room," Elaine said shaking her head as she sauntered back down the hall. Looking after her Scott felt some twinge- had Elaine changed?



Author's Note: You guys want some cookies? Well they can be all yours if you review. And I swear to great gracious I will reply to all the questions soon. Oh yes, I would just like to dedicate this story to Maya. Thanks so much hun, I am deeply sorry about forgetting to mention you. Oh and thank you to my little duck, it is about time. Thanks Maya and thanks so much to everyone who has, and continues to review. I love you all.