Disclaimer: I don't own them. You KNEW that! Why did you rub it in!?!?!

We're skipping ahead a little, just because I'm too lazy to write out every single one… So we're fading in on February 7th. Or, if you're European, you can pretend it's the second of July… up to you. *smirk* But really, it's February.

Many many thanks to Terra, who got me back in the swing of things… And yeah, Terra, I'm still wondering WHY she was so cooperative in this…

Do you all realize how hard it is to write a fic you haven't even THOUGHT about in forever? *sweat drop* I did my best, so… *drum roll* Dun da dun da! The third chapter of Letters.
~
2/7/69

14:30

Neil,
Just when I think everyone's given up on asking me how I am and if I miss you, Aki decides to make it her business. I was sitting in the lab (only because the Captain had told me to), minding my own business and writing in this thing when she looks up at me from across the room.
"Jane," she starts off, "I hate seeing you like this." Like what? I closed the book quickly, becoming defensive as usual.
"Excuse me, Doctor, I wasn't aware I asked your opinion." I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Jane, he..." She sighed. "Neil wouldn't want you to be like this." I stood, glaring.
"You didn't know Neil. I highly doubt you would know how he would and would not want me to be." She looked at a loss for words, and I turned on my heel, walking past the Captain and Serge, nodding and saying quietly, "Sir." Before walking out.
"Jane..." I heard the Captain's voice and stopped in my tracks.
"Yes, sir?" I fought to keep the annoyed tone from my voice.
"She was just trying to help. We're all worried about you."
"I'm fine, sir." He touched my shoulder.
"Jane, if you need to talk... we were all close to him."
"I know, sir... it's been two months, I'm fine." He sighed like he knew I was lying, but nodded.
"Take the day off and rest, Corporal. We have nothing important to do anyway." So that's how I ended up here, in a tub of warm water up to my neck, a pain in the small of my back, and memories flying through my head. I lift my foot, turning the warm water on full blast. It's scalding hot, but I don't care. For some reason it's strangely comforting.

Jane

14:35

Neil,
I just remembered why. Back about... three months (?) after we were recruited, you came out of the bathroom, your arms and neck a -beautiful- bright red.
"What the hell happened to you?" I'd asked, raising an eyebrow at you.
"Er, hot water." You gave me that boyish grin, the one that made me forget the 'Why the fuck was the water so hot' on my lips and replace it mentally with an, 'Oh. Okay.' You continued, "It makes the pain go away." Now the hot water is burning every inch of my body, and I've finally realized what you meant. You didn't mean physical pain. You meant the mental. There's a lot of that.

Jane

15:00

Neil,
Serge is talking to me through the bathroom door, and I'm actually opening up, because, well, it's Ryan. He has this friendly air about him. Funny, usually I HATE people like that, but Ryan has that "Your secret's safe with me" thing, too. Here's what you missed:
He knocked, somewhat loudly. I blinked my eyes open.
"Yeah?" I called.
"Jane, you okay?" He asked. I sighed, biting the tears back.
"I don't know." The sadness came right through my voice. I heard his clothes rustling as he sat down outside the door.
"Want to talk about it?" He questioned. At my silence, he added on, "Do you know what I think?"
"What?"
"I think you should stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault."
"It is my fault." I watched the soapy water from what were once bubbles as it formed a sort of skin around me. Moving my hand to touch it, it shrank back, forming two halves. Everything breaks, Neil. Everything I touch.
"Jane, shut up." I could hear the pain in his voice from thinking about your demise. "It was as much our fault as yours."
"You couldn't have done anything. Or the Captain, OR the doctors. *I* could've saved him. And I froze."
"You were in shock. You probably knew it *could* happen, but didn't think it *would*." It was the truth. "It happened to me when I heard about my father. I guess when you love someone that much, it just throws you for a loop." Love? Love you? If I was scared to say it before, it's multiplied by itself since then.
"I didn't love Neil." I closed my eyes, tears falling down my face and into the water.
"Jane..." His pants are rustling as he stands. "Lying's not going to help... ... if you need me, I'll be at the lab." The door just clicked, right before I dunked my head underwater. It took me a second to realize it's now ice cold... That might take my mind off of what Ryan said, but I'm not too keen on catching pneumonia.

Jane
~
I haven't written the story in forever, and considering it was done in ten minutes, I think I did fairly well. Inspiration credit to:
Terra, cause she's just that inspiring… *grin*
My own bath
My own backache
My own slight depression
"Illusions", because it's the reason I had my notepad handy
Ryan Whittaker, for being so great!
"When I'm Gone", by 3 Doors Down

'Sall, folks.