Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback folks. It gets worse before it gets better though I'm afraid. Lyrics are by Dido and Garth Brooks.
Part 3
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here?
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory.
I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me.
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me...
Dido
Max Evans stared down at the freshly turned Earth, swallowed hard.
Even though he knew that it wasn't Liz buried there, just the thought that it COULD have been...it was enough to make him physically ill.
The funeral had been horrible. He and Michael had almost been late, arriving just as the security guards had been closing the doors into the sanctuary. They had almost been refused entrance until Deputy Hanson had caught sight of them through the crowd gathered on the sidewalk outside the church.
"Let him in! That's Liz Parker's boyfriend." The Deputy had yelled so loudly, everyone and their neighbour could not help but turn to look.
And so the staring had begun.
Max had felt eyes on him all through the service. He knew that everyone felt horrible about this whole situation, but that they were morbidly fascinated too. After all, just over a year ago it had been HIS funeral they were all attending. And here he was, not dead. That his girlfriend should then perish so horribly...well, it was just TOO tragic. He knew they were all thinking it and he didn't blame them.
That didn't mean that he didn't hate it though.
It was one of the reasons he had not wanted to come. If there was one thing he despised, it was being the centre of attention. But Michael had been right. He had owed it to Liz to attend - to say goodbye to her parents for her. Max would miss them. He had not known the Parkers extremely well but they had given him Liz, and for that he would always be grateful.
Max had spent the service staring at the Cross that hung at the front of the church. He had not wanted to meet anyone's eyes. The whole experience had been ridiculously surreal. They were all sitting there mourning a girl who was not dead.
He wondered if anyone was ever going to believe him.
He had been seated between Tess and Isabel at the front of the church, Isabel holding his hand tightly, squeezing it every few minutes or so. In the end though, Max had had to comfort Isabel when she started to sob during the short eulogy Alex gave for Liz.
Alex had obviously had difficulty beginning. His eyes had been shining with unshed tears and when Max heard Maria start to cry in earnest, Alex had clearly almost lost it. But he had persevered as was Alex Whitman's way.
Liz would have been proud.
"Liz Parker was my best friend." Alex had begun. "She was the first person to talk to me when I moved to Roswell in Grade 4 and even though we didn't become great friends until the fifth grade, I knew that she always looked out for me. That was Liz. She was all about friendship. When she became your friend, you knew that you always had someone watching your back."
Max had glanced back worriedly at Maria when she began to weep even harder. Jennetta had her arm around her, was soothing her quietly. Max just sighed. This was killing them all. Tarsus was going to pay for hurting his friends if it was the last thing he did. Max had wished that his friends would believe him that Liz was NOT gone, that they could work together to try and bring her back.
"Liz loved three things," Alex continued. "Science, her friends and Max Evans, not necessarily in that order." A faint ripple of laughter sounded through the large room. "I will mourn forever that we will never find out what Liz could have been to the world of the first. Probably something great because that was our Liz - everything she touched was never the same. It became better - golden. I already know what she was to the worlds of the last two. She was everything and we will never forget her or stop loving her. I know that wherever she is, she's watching over all of us and that she is still watching our backs."
After Alex finished, a soloist in the choir had stood up and started to sing. Max had just stared at him in disbelief. Had someone planned this funeral to MAKE him lose his mind?
It was an old Garth Brooks song, one Liz had once told him made her cry.
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment, all the word was right
How could I have known
That you'd ever say good-bye?
And I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain,
But I'd have had to miss the dance.
Holding you I held everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known
How the king would fall
Then who's to say
No, I might have changed it all.
And I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance.
Alex HAD lost it then. His eyes had met Max's from the front of the church and he had started shaking. He had begun to wipe his eyes in a way that conveyed the fact that he didn't know what to do next. He had obviously been holding himself together to get through that speech and now that it was over, it was just too much. Max had wondered if he should get up and go help Alex back to his seat, but he realized that that would have seemed weird. Everyone probably already thought it was weird that he wasn't sobbing all over the place. Especially AFTER that song.
The song had conveyed everything Max had always felt about opening himself up to Liz. Every single minute of it had been perfect, but a small part of him had always been secretly worried that what he was - WHO he was - would end up hurting her. And it had...she might not be dead, but she certainly was NOT safe - never would be as long as she loved him.
But he wouldn't give her up. He couldn't. He had tried that too many times - after the healing when he had told her that they were different, that they couldn't be together; after Michael had gotten sick in their sophomore year; when Liz had walked away from him after the destiny message; when he had had to pretend to date Pam Troy on Tarsus' orders to protect Liz and the others. It had never worked.
He couldn't be Max without her. She was his other half. And she felt exactly the same way. He knew that she would kill him before she would let him give up on them.
And so he wouldn't give up on her. He knew that she was out there somewhere and he would never rest until he found her.
In the end, Michael had risen from his seat next to Jennetta and had gone to lead Alex back to his place beside Izzy. Alex had just been standing there, looking around, lost. Isabel had stopped crying and Alex went straight into her embrace when he sat down. Max had felt another flare of anger.
Tarsus. He was going to pay for this. Big time.
The funeral had finally ended. Max had just wanted out of there, wanted this ludicrous farce to end. He had stood, felt Tess stand beside him, take his hand.
"Are you okay?" She had asked quietly. Max knew that Isabel had convinced them all that he had gone crazy with grief, but Tess sounded open. He had wondered if she would help him. He hadn't talked to her since the day of the fire, had no idea what was going on with her. He knew that she had been on the verge of laying all of her cards on the table with Kyle when they had all been called away from the prom to go to the transformation chamber for Jennetta's rebirth. He had wondered where Kyle was, if that had worked out. It didn't bode well that Kyle was not sitting with them.
Max had felt a pang. Liz would not be pleased. She would have exclaimed that Kyle belonged with them, would have gone to find him wherever he was in that church and would have dragged him to sit with them.
They were already falling apart without her.
"I'm okay." Max had replied. "What was with that song?" He had asked Tess, trying to change the subject. "That was really TOO brutal. Were they TRYING to make me lose it?"
Tess had shrugged. "I don't even know who planned the funeral." She peered up at him. "Max, really. Are you okay?"
Max had just sighed. "I'm sad Tess. Liz's parents are dead and some other poor girl is too. I have no idea who she was, but someone, somewhere, is going to be devastated. But I know that Liz isn't gone. She's out there somewhere. And because that's true, I'm really okay."
"Max..." Tess had trailed off suddenly. Max had felt relieved, sure that she was about to start lecturing him à la Isabel. Max had followed her gaze towards the back of the church, met Kyle Valenti's eyes.
The guy looked terrible - like he hadn't slept in days, which he likely had not. Kyle had made a move forward as though he was going to come and talk to him, when his gaze had shifted to Tess.
Max had felt Tess put her arm around him, steer him in the opposite direction.
"What the...Tess, Kyle's over there." Max had said, perplexed.
"I can't deal with him right now Max." Tess had replied.
"Why?" Max had demanded. "I thought you were working things out!"
"We were. Now we're not." Tess had replied. "I don't want to get into this with you right now." She continued. "Let's just say that I think you're right. I think Liz is alive and I don't want Kyle involved in this anymore."
Max had just stared down at her in shock. "WHAT?" People had turned to stare at them. Max reddened. He had seen his mother eyeing him with concern. He had quickly looked away.
Tess had clammed up after that. Max had been pulled away by Isabel, who had insisted that he accompany she and Alex to the cemetery where the internment was to take place.
Which was where Max now found himself. The others had left him alone at "Liz's" grave site, sure that he would want to be alone with her.
There was no grave stone yet. Maria had told him briefly that it would be simple though. It was going to read "Elizabeth Anne Parker - September 1983 - May 2002 - Beloved Friend and Daughter - She reached for the Stars." Max had liked it, although he had wanted to yell that this was all unnecessary, that all of this pain was false.
Liz was still alive.
He and Michael were going to find the proof of that today. And if it wasn't today, it would be tomorrow or the day after, or the day after that.
Max would not rest until he brought Liz back.
He turned away from the fresh grave, wondered briefly who was buried there, wondered if they would ever know.
The death of that innocent girl was just one more thing Tarsus would pay for - another crime to add to his long list. When Max reclaimed his planet from that bastard, before he handed it over to Michael and Maria's daughter - Jennetta, the Chosen One - his last act as King of Illyria would be to order the emotionless monster's death.
Max was not a vengeful person, but, in this case, vengeance was not even an issue. Justice had to be served. The pain that Tarsus of Dernia had caused would reverberate for generations.
Max set his jaw, went to join his friends. They were standing near the cars, talking quietly.
He was greeted by complete silence as he walked up beside Maria. Max put his arm around her, squeezed lightly. "Are you okay?"
Maria just nodded mechanically, didn't say anything, continued to stare at him worriedly.
Max sighed. The sooner he had proof that Liz still lived, the sooner his friends would stop treating him like he was a maniac on the verge of a complete break-down.
He couldn't wait.
"Ready?" He asked Michael. Michael grimaced, glanced at Isabel. Max's sister was staring at Michael suspiciously.
"Ready for what?" She demanded.
"I told Max I would search the Crashdown with him." Michael replied, sounding belligerent. As usual, Michael was on the defensive immediately. Max looked between the two of them, felt like rolling his eyes. Clearly Isabel was not happy that Michael was "humouring" him in his quest to find out what had happened to Liz.
"Michael!" Izzy sighed in exasperation. She turned to Max. "Max, this is crazy! Will you please just come home with me?"
Max pressed his lips together. "Isabel, if you won't believe me, then I have to ask for help from people who do."
"I never said I believed you Maxwell." Michael cut in abruptly.
Max frowned at him. "But you said you'd help, which is more than I can say for the rest of them." Max felt himself getting angry. He looked around at the group. Isabel looked furious, Maria scared, Alex upset, Tess torn, and Jennetta concerned. "Liz is alive. That funeral was brutal and I know you're all upset, but it wasn't for OUR Liz. She still exists and I'm going to find her if its the last thing I ever do."
"Max!" Isabel exclaimed.
But he ignored her, turned on his heel and stalked away. He was relieved that he could hear Michael telling Maria that he would see her later, to go home and try and get some rest.
Max knew that Liz lived, but he was going to need all the help he could get to prove it. Getting Michael's help, even if it had been under duress and even if Michael thought he was bonkers, was a giant step forward.
Michael joined him at the Jeep a moment later. Max was surprised to see that Tess was with him.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I told you I believe you." Tess replied. "Now I'm going to help you prove it."
Michael just rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I'm going along with this. I barely escaped with my life back there." He eyed Max for a minute and then said. "Maxwell, give me the keys." He ordered. "You're in no condition to drive. Have you even eaten today?"
Max shrugged. "No."
Michael sighed again. "Great. Okay, first stop McDonald's." He put up his hand when Max looked like he was about to protest. "Not a word out of you your mightiness." His tone was the epitome of Michael sarcasm. "Even though I don't buy any of this for a minute, if Liz IS alive, she is going to be severely pissed off if you die of starvation before she can find her way back to you. I've seen that girl pissed and I don't want to see it again." He looked at Tess for confirmation. "It's scary I tell you."
Max blinked. "Okay." He said quietly.
He could wait half an hour. They were finally DOING something.
It was only a matter of time now.
******************************************************************
Tess followed Max and Michael down the back alley that led to Liz's balcony.
She knew that she was going to have a hard time climbing that ladder in her funeral attire, but she had already kicked off her shoes and was willing to rip her dress if she had to. What they were doing was much more important.
Michael and Max were bickering as usual.
"I don't think its a good idea to go up there Maxwell." Michael was saying as Tess joined them beneath the balcony. "The whole place is condemned. We're going to fall through that balcony."
"It's made of stone Michael." Max retorted. He put his hands on the ladder, looked at Tess. "Maybe you should stay down here though."
"No way." Tess snapped. "If you're going up there, I'm going up there."
They had already been into the restaurant area of the building, had spent a good hour sifting through burned out rubble.
The Crashdown was actually in fairly good shape, the main destruction being from water damage. The fire had not been centered there after all.
Liz's bedroom had borne the brunt of it.
Max had been like a machine, relentless, searching under everything for the smallest clue. She and Michael had exchanged more than one concerned look. He was like a man possessed.
Max had only paused once. He had stopped in a spot near the back of the restaurant, had looked up towards the ceiling.
"What's wrong?" Tess had asked him, going forward to take his arm.
"This is where I healed her." He had replied sadly. He had looked around at the shell of their favorite hang-out. "This is going to devastate her Tess. She loved this place."
"Maybe you can rebuild it?" Tess had suggested, reaching for any words to comfort him.
But Max had shaken his head sadly. "Liz can never come back here." He had replied. "My return from the dead was weird enough. There is absolutely no way we'll be able to explain how Liz escaped this fire - especially because there was a body. Our secret would come out. Liz and I are going to have to live somewhere else." He looked towards the counter. "With her parents gone, there's nothing left in this town for Liz anyway."
Tess had felt like crying. Roswell was their home! "Poor Liz."
Max had turned to look at her. He had frowned slightly. "You DO believe me Tess. You do believe that she's still alive. Why?"
Tess had swallowed, but she decided to tell him the truth. She needed to tell SOMEONE the truth. "Because I would know if something happened to Kyle." She had replied quietly. "They're BOTH different Max. You did something to both of them when you healed them. I never realized it until Liz was gone, but I feel them both - feel their presence. It's like when you healed them, you connected ALL of us to them."
Max had blinked. "Hmmmm..." He had murmured. Finally he had taken her hand, smiling sadly. "I believe that. But then why don't Michael and Isabel believe me?"
Tess had shrugged. "Maybe they haven't allowed themselves to feel it. You opened yourself to it because you love Liz and I did because I love Kyle. Neither Alex or Maria was ever healed and so don't have the same connection to us. I'm not saying we don't love them just as much, just that we don't have that little bit of alien holding us together."
Max had nodded. "You do love Kyle Tess." He had stated the obvious, as though it had finally been confirmed for him. "Then why aren't you together?"
"Because what we are did this to Liz's parents." Tess had replied, waving her hand around the burned out restaurant in which they stood. "Tarsus taking Liz is directly related to what we are. It wasn't until this happened that I really realized how we put them in danger Max. I won't risk Kyle. I just can't do it."
Max had smiled sadly again, as though he understood completely but didn't quite believe her. "We'll see." He had said cryptically. "Sometimes we just have to follow our hearts Tess. We don't have a choice."
"I have a choice." Tess told him stubbornly. "Kyle has gone through enough because of us - ME. He's starting to move on. I have to let him. It's the only way he'll be safe."
Max had just shaken his head again. "We'll see." He repeated, going to help Michael move some debris away from the counter.
Tess still didn't know what Max had meant, but she knew that she was right.
Kyle would only be safe if Tess stayed away from him.
But, of course, her staying away from HIM wouldn't be enough. She had to keep HIM away from her too, which was why she had turned her back on him at the funeral. She knew it would take him days to figure that one out.
She hoped that he would get ticked off - he had every right to after all, since she had practically thrown herself at him at the prom. Angry Kyle was the best route to take, because angry Kyle would not confront her, his pride would be too strong.
Tess knew that if he confronted her, she would give in, would tell him how she felt. Maybe that's what Max had meant, that when you loved someone, sometimes the safest route just wasn't a possibility.
And so she had to stay away from Kyle.
Now, as she climbed the ladder to Liz's bedroom, she swallowed hard, trying not to cry. It was going to be torture, hurting him AGAIN.
She reached up and grabbed Michael's hand. He hauled her the last couple of feet to the top.
Max was standing near the window into Liz's bedroom, staring in. Tess could see that the room was completely destroyed. The floor didn't even look safe.
"We can't go in there Maxwell." Michael said to his friend's back. "It's too dangerous."
The balcony was still fairly solid beneath Tess' feet but she could see that Michael was right. One of them was likely to fall through that floor if they tried to walk on it. She gasped when she saw that Max was about to swing himself through the window.
"Max! Get back here!" She shrieked. But it was too late. He was in.
"Jesus!" Michael sounded petrified with fear. Tess' brother rushed to the window, crouched down. "Max! Get the hell back here!"
Max was standing in the centre of the room, looking around. He started rummaging through the debris. "I'll just be a minute." He told them, sounding completely unconcerned. "You guys stay out there. You're right that this floor probably couldn't take all of our weight."
Tess felt her heart pounding a mile a minute as Max moved carefully around the bed. She felt her eyes widen when he suddenly reached behind the shell of the bed and pulled a brick right out of the wall. "I knew it." She heard Max mutter to himself. He pulled a leather bound book out of the wall. "It's still here. It's a little singed but it looks okay."
Liz's journal.
"She told me where it was hidden when she got it back last time." Max told them, picking his way cautiously back toward the window. "It was fairly protected from the fire because it was in the stone wall."
Tess could see that the leather was slightly melted, that the pages were browned, but that, for the most part, the journal was in excellent condition.
Max handed the journal to Michael through the window. He paused before climbing out, taking one last look around. "He's going to pay." Tess heard him mutter. She knew that he meant Tarsus.
Max was back on the balcony a moment later. "You idiot!" Tess screeched at him, smacking him lightly. "You could have been killed in there!"
Max just looked at her steadily. "Nothing is going to happen to me." He told her firmly. "I will not allow it - not until I find Liz."
Michael just sighed in frustration. "Can we go now? There's nothing here Maxwell. I'm glad you found Liz's journal, but its not going to prove anything."
Tess saw that Max's back was stiffening in annoyance, but before he could snap back at her brother, Michael bent over and picked something up. "Hey! What's this?"
"It's a hairbrush." Tess told him. "So? Liz must have left it out here."
But Michael was staring at it in astonishment. The next minute he went flying across the balcony, landing flat on his back.
"Michael!" Tess shrieked. Both Max and Tess flew to his side.
"What happened?" Max demanded.
Michael just stared up at him in complete stupefaction. "You were right Maxwell. Tarsus WAS here."
Part 4
They all met at the transformation chamber later that night.
Maria Deluca frowned in concern when she entered the room where her daughter had been transformed from a little girl into the beautiful young woman she was presently. She felt Michael stiffen beside her. They had gone through a lot of bad stuff in this chamber - and it looked like they were about to go through some more.
Max was already there, pacing, a look of utter impatience on his face.
Most of the others were there too, scattered around the room. Alex was chatting quietly with Tess and Ren, Jennetta's bodyguard, near the five now dark transformation pods. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked exhausted. Maria understood why. They had sat up late the last two nights looking at pictures of Liz and planning her funeral. It had been absolutely brutal and yet cathartic at the same time.
Maria knew that she would never stop missing her best friend. She had sobbed at the funeral, sure that she was never going to be able to go on without her conscience, because that's what Liz was, the person who always made her think before she did anything too loopy. The one time they had been separated, when Maria, Michael and Max had been trapped on Illyria, Maria had ended up pregnant with an alien chosen one, THEN had ended up with her baby torn from her arms and almost dead as a consequence.
Maria had once told Liz that none of that would have happened if Liz had only been with her. Liz had smiled and laughed but hadn't disagreed.
But Maria also knew that Liz would not want their lives to end without her. She would be furious at them all if they let that happen. They had to go on. Liz would be the first to say it...
Maria gazed towards the person who was her reason for going on.
Jennetta was seated on the cot in the corner, watching Max, her dark eyes unreadable. She looked concerned and upset.
Maria could see that Isabel was staring at him too, her frown matching Maria's own.
It always amazed Maria how Isabel and Jennetta loved Max so intensely. She knew that occasionally they even resented each other a little bit because of it. Being his sister was a central component of both of their lives - it might have had something to do with his role as the leader of his planet, but it might be something else too. Maria had no siblings, didn't know what the relationship felt like. She was just glad that her daughter was able to have that relationship with Max, wished that it could be the same with Isabel.
The only one missing - as usual - was Kyle. Maria wondered if any of them would ever get used to his absence.
She knew for sure they would NEVER get used to Liz's absence.
Maria felt her eyes well with tears again as the thought appeared unbidden. If Liz were here, Max would be calm and rational - the great leader he was meant to be.
As it stood, he was clearly on the verge of totally losing his sanity.
It could not be allowed to happen. They needed him. Liz was gone - he would never be the same - but they needed him. Jennetta had to be protected and Max needed to help them do it.
Maria's first concern was for her daughter's safety - and Jennetta had told her earlier that day that the preparations for the return to Illyria, which had been put off due to the tragedy of Liz's death, were going ahead full-steam. They all needed something to focus on - something to make them live again.
The other factor contributing to the rush was that Isabel's nightmares had stopped - completely, entirely, without warning.
Isabel had been haunted by nightmares of her home planet for months now - but their cessation was even more scary. Izzy had told Maria that it felt like the whole planet had suddenly disappeared...and if not the planet, then surely Max and Isabel's mother. For Isabel had figured out long ago that it was Milena who was sending her the dreams.
That was one thing Maria did not understand at all - how this Milena could do that to her daughter. She would die before she ever did anything to hurt Jennetta. She would do anything to keep her safe.
And to keep her safe, they needed Max.
The Four Square, together and strong, was vital for putting Jennetta on the throne - or at least so Ren had told her.
And yet Maria knew that Max wasn't going to be a lot of help. Not after Michael told him what he had to tell him.
Max stopped abruptly when he caught sight of Maria and Michael. "You're late." He told them tersely.
"We don't have any time to waste."
Maria reached out and took Michael's hand. She knew that he was absolutely dreading what he was going to have to tell Max, but it couldn't be helped. They finally had undeniable proof that their Liz was really gone.
Maria had been upset that Michael was going to help Max search the Crashdown, but she had understood why. Michael had no idea how to help Max deal with his grief, thought that the best way to do it was to humour him, to keep him active. Michael had also found it difficult to understand when he was trying to comfort her that she didn't need him to DO anything...she just needed him to listen, to hold her, to let her cry.
She had ended up finding more solace with Alex. He understood what she needed because he needed it too.
And so Michael had helped Max, which in the end was only going to hurt Max more.
Michael had been late picking up Maria. She had been pacing by the door when he had finally pulled up in the Jetta.
"I would have gone with Alex and Isabel if I'd known you were going to take this long." She had snapped at him as she had practically jumped into the passenger seat. "Where were you? Tess and Max picked Jennetta up almost an hour ago. I thought you were with them?"
"You could have gone with them." Michael had retorted, sounding seriously annoyed, more annoyed than he should have during one of their typical bickerfests.
Maria had turned to stare at him. "What's wrong?" She demanded. Michael was glaring through the front windshield, his hands tightly clenching the steering wheel, his knuckles white.
"Nothing." Michael had muttered.
"Michael..." Maria had said warningly.
Michael had just sighed heavily. "I had a flash this afternoon." He finally ground out.
"What do you mean you had a flash?" Maria had demanded. "Where?"
"On Liz's balcony." Michael had replied. "I picked up a hairbrush and it practically knocked me to kingdom come."
Maria had continued to stare at him, waiting for him to continue. Michael had rubbed his face tiredly, finally went on. "It was Liz's obviously. She must have been using it when he showed up."
"Who?" Maria had asked, although the way her stomach had clenched up she realized that she already knew.
"Tarsus." Michael replied, sounding upset. "Max was right. Tarsus was there."
Maria had felt her heart practically leap out of her chest. "So then Lizzie isn't..." She had started to jump up and down in her seat, her joy so great she wanted to fly out of her skin.
Michael had clamped his hand down on her shoulder, gently but firmly. "Maria, don't do this to yourself. Liz is dead. Tarsus WAS there, but she's still gone."
"What do you mean?" Maria had demanded, her hopes deflating instantly.
"I went to see the Sheriff, to ask him how this could be - how they could have gotten it so wrong about that being Liz in that bed." Maria had peered closely at Michael. If she wasn't mistaken, Michael's voice had cracked. "Max was so thrilled Maria. I mean he never believed it anyway, but to finally have the proof...but I had to know for sure."
"I don't understand Michael." Maria had been seriously confused. "What did the Sheriff tell you?"
"They just got the forensics back." He had taken his eyes off the road to glance at her. "Dental records." He elaborated. "It was Liz."
"Why didn't we know this before?" Maria had demanded. "The Sheriff WASN'T sure?"
"Well, who else could it have been?" Michael replied. "He was sure enough - and he was right. It wasn't like he lied to us."
"But I don't get any of this. Why was Tarsus there?" Maria had asked, shaking her head at all of this horrifying information. The evil shapeshifter was back - the one who had stolen her baby from her...
"The only explanation is that he started that fire." Michael had answered evenly. "He killed her Maria. He killed Liz. Her death is OUR fault." Maria had heard the guilt in her boyfriend's voice. Michael and Liz had not been close, but he had loved her - just as they had all loved her.
They had sat in silence the rest of the drive to the compound. Maria had let silent tears trickle down her cheeks. Liz - poor Liz - had never had a chance. She had been murdered because of who she was to Max.
This was going to kill Max. He wasn't going to survive this news.
And the moment of truth had arrived. They had to tell him.
"Well?" Max was looking directly at Michael. "Tell them Michael. Tell them what you saw this afternoon." Maria could see Tess, still standing near Alex, moving closer to Max, obviously trying to show that she supported him.
Maria held her breath. Michael looked like he wanted to be sick. "Maxwell..."
Max frowned. "Michael, tell them! You had a flash. Tell them you saw Tarsus."
"I saw Tarsus." Michael repeated mechanically. "It's true. I did see him." He said quickly when Isabel stood up in irritation. "I had a flash - just like that time with the key to Atherton's house. Izzy, he was there." Michael insisted. Isabel's expression reflected her shock.
"Michael, tell him." Maria whispered. "You can't leave it like this." Michael flinched.
But the moment was lost. Ren stepped forward. "How can this be? The only way to get here is through the portal and Mirana," he indicated Isabel, "has to open it."
"I told you. Obviously there's another way. Danala got here somehow after all." Max said calmly. Ren looked perplexed at that. "And now we can figure out what we're going to do about it...how we're going to get Liz back."
"Maxwell..." Michael tried again. Maria wasn't surprised when Max ignored him. He had heard what he wanted to hear. He was in full leader-mode now.
"We're obviously going to have to go through the Ring in England. We don't want the timeline to get all screwed up." Max said, sounding like he was mentally planning. "But we need to figure out what we're going to do once we get to the planet. The Ring is under Dernian control now. We can't let them take us the minute we come through."
"Maxwell..." Michael stepped towards his friend, put a hand on his shoulder. "You have to listen to me." He said seriously. For the first time ever Maria suddenly saw the man Michael must once have been - Tristandor of Dernia, Max's right-hand man and closest advisor. He voice was quiet, authoritative and firm, like he was used to giving Max news he was not going to want to hear.
The room was deadly silent. Everyone except Max seemed to realize that there was a lot more going on here than just finding out that Tarsus had been back on Earth.
Max blinked at Michael. "What's wrong?" He asked, sounding irritated. "Whatever it is, it can wait. Liz is in the hands of that maniac and I refuse to allow her to stay there a minute longer than necessary."
Michael swallowed hard. "Max, she's not there."
"What do you mean? Of course she is." Max said dismissively. He turned towards Ren, looked like he was about to ask him something.
Michael went ahead in a rush, determined to get it out this time. "Max, the Sheriff got the forensic report back today. The dental records....they match. That was Liz."
Max froze. He just stared at Michael. "What?" He shook his head. "I don't get it."
"Max, that was Liz in that bed. The dental records match. Tarsus was here - he very likely started that fire - but it doesn't change the fact that Liz died in that fire." Michael looked pained at having to be so brutal, but they had to get through to Max. He HAD to start accepting this.
Maria shivered. The expression on Max's face.... She hoped she never saw the like again. He looked absolutely astounded, but terrified as well, as though if he let this information penetrate he was going to totally lose it.
"Max..." Isabel was moving towards him, her hands outstretched. Jennetta was close behind her.
But Max was already shaking his head. "No, its impossible." He said, his voice faltering. "I would know if she was dead." Maria saw his certainty begin to harden his face. He looked at Tess, who was staring at him like she had seen a ghost. "Tell them Tess. Tell them what you told me earlier - that you can still feel her too."
"Max...I...thought..." Tess croaked. "I was so sure...but if the Sheriff says that the dental records prove it..."
"Tess, Tarsus is a shapeshifter." Max said, rolling his eyes. "Don't you think he could have gone into that dental office to change the records?"
But Maria was fairly sure Tess didn't catch that because Isabel had already rounded on her. "What did you say to him Tess? Why would you play along with this? You had to know it was only going to hurt him more in the long run!"
"Izzy..." Alex grabbed her by the hand.
Isabel wrenched away from him. She now had a target for her frustration and grief and she wasn't about to stop now. "Why would you do such a thing? You ARE still trying to get him aren't you? You played the sympathetic little waif, hoping that in his grief he would turn to you!" Isabel barked out a laugh. "God - Kyle was right all along! I should have known it! Liz is gone and its smooth sailing for you now."
The rest of them just watched the scene play out in absolute horror. Maria wanted to do something, say something, but she was completely frozen. Tess' face was crumbling. She looked trapped...and devastated.
"ISABEL! Stop it!" It was Max. Maria swung around to stare at him. He didn't sound like someone who had just had his entire world end. In fact he sounded mightily pissed. "This isn't Tess' fault." He moved forward and put his arm around the small blonde, who was trembling. "She's the only one who believes me at all. She's the only one here who's REALLY my friend."
"Max, what do you mean?" Isabel demanded. "I'm your sister. I love you."
But Max ignored her. "I find it completely ironic that Tess is the only one who understands the bond that Liz and I share." Max said. "I would know if she was dead. That's all there is to it." He looked at each and every one of them in turn, his brown eyes blazing with fury - Isabel, Michael, Maria, Alex... "Don't take it out on Tess just because you don't want to believe that the bond we share is special...and I'm NOT just talking about Liz and me anymore...all of us..." He pointed at Michael. "WE saved your life - the bond between us saved you. None of you gave up on ME when I was gone...why are you giving up on Liz? I just don't get it. She would NEVER give up on any of you."
And that was when Maria knew it. No amount of physical proof was ever going to convince Max that Liz was gone. He was completely insane...they couldn't help him because he didn't want to help himself.
She felt tears begin to fill her eyes. They had already lost Liz...what were they going to do without Max too?
"Max..." Isabel tried again. Her face was completely white with shock, but she wasn't going to give up on her brother. She would try and get through to him until it killed her.
Max's voice was shaking with disgust. "Don't even say it. I don't want to hear it. I'm leaving. I can't be with any of you right now." He turned on his heel, stormed out.
They all stood there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity.
"Oh God." Isabel finally broke the silence, her knees giving out on her. Alex barely caught her before she collapsed onto the stone floor. "What are we going to do?"
Maria wished she knew.
Part 3
I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here?
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory.
I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me.
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me...
Dido
Max Evans stared down at the freshly turned Earth, swallowed hard.
Even though he knew that it wasn't Liz buried there, just the thought that it COULD have been...it was enough to make him physically ill.
The funeral had been horrible. He and Michael had almost been late, arriving just as the security guards had been closing the doors into the sanctuary. They had almost been refused entrance until Deputy Hanson had caught sight of them through the crowd gathered on the sidewalk outside the church.
"Let him in! That's Liz Parker's boyfriend." The Deputy had yelled so loudly, everyone and their neighbour could not help but turn to look.
And so the staring had begun.
Max had felt eyes on him all through the service. He knew that everyone felt horrible about this whole situation, but that they were morbidly fascinated too. After all, just over a year ago it had been HIS funeral they were all attending. And here he was, not dead. That his girlfriend should then perish so horribly...well, it was just TOO tragic. He knew they were all thinking it and he didn't blame them.
That didn't mean that he didn't hate it though.
It was one of the reasons he had not wanted to come. If there was one thing he despised, it was being the centre of attention. But Michael had been right. He had owed it to Liz to attend - to say goodbye to her parents for her. Max would miss them. He had not known the Parkers extremely well but they had given him Liz, and for that he would always be grateful.
Max had spent the service staring at the Cross that hung at the front of the church. He had not wanted to meet anyone's eyes. The whole experience had been ridiculously surreal. They were all sitting there mourning a girl who was not dead.
He wondered if anyone was ever going to believe him.
He had been seated between Tess and Isabel at the front of the church, Isabel holding his hand tightly, squeezing it every few minutes or so. In the end though, Max had had to comfort Isabel when she started to sob during the short eulogy Alex gave for Liz.
Alex had obviously had difficulty beginning. His eyes had been shining with unshed tears and when Max heard Maria start to cry in earnest, Alex had clearly almost lost it. But he had persevered as was Alex Whitman's way.
Liz would have been proud.
"Liz Parker was my best friend." Alex had begun. "She was the first person to talk to me when I moved to Roswell in Grade 4 and even though we didn't become great friends until the fifth grade, I knew that she always looked out for me. That was Liz. She was all about friendship. When she became your friend, you knew that you always had someone watching your back."
Max had glanced back worriedly at Maria when she began to weep even harder. Jennetta had her arm around her, was soothing her quietly. Max just sighed. This was killing them all. Tarsus was going to pay for hurting his friends if it was the last thing he did. Max had wished that his friends would believe him that Liz was NOT gone, that they could work together to try and bring her back.
"Liz loved three things," Alex continued. "Science, her friends and Max Evans, not necessarily in that order." A faint ripple of laughter sounded through the large room. "I will mourn forever that we will never find out what Liz could have been to the world of the first. Probably something great because that was our Liz - everything she touched was never the same. It became better - golden. I already know what she was to the worlds of the last two. She was everything and we will never forget her or stop loving her. I know that wherever she is, she's watching over all of us and that she is still watching our backs."
After Alex finished, a soloist in the choir had stood up and started to sing. Max had just stared at him in disbelief. Had someone planned this funeral to MAKE him lose his mind?
It was an old Garth Brooks song, one Liz had once told him made her cry.
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment, all the word was right
How could I have known
That you'd ever say good-bye?
And I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain,
But I'd have had to miss the dance.
Holding you I held everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known
How the king would fall
Then who's to say
No, I might have changed it all.
And I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance.
Alex HAD lost it then. His eyes had met Max's from the front of the church and he had started shaking. He had begun to wipe his eyes in a way that conveyed the fact that he didn't know what to do next. He had obviously been holding himself together to get through that speech and now that it was over, it was just too much. Max had wondered if he should get up and go help Alex back to his seat, but he realized that that would have seemed weird. Everyone probably already thought it was weird that he wasn't sobbing all over the place. Especially AFTER that song.
The song had conveyed everything Max had always felt about opening himself up to Liz. Every single minute of it had been perfect, but a small part of him had always been secretly worried that what he was - WHO he was - would end up hurting her. And it had...she might not be dead, but she certainly was NOT safe - never would be as long as she loved him.
But he wouldn't give her up. He couldn't. He had tried that too many times - after the healing when he had told her that they were different, that they couldn't be together; after Michael had gotten sick in their sophomore year; when Liz had walked away from him after the destiny message; when he had had to pretend to date Pam Troy on Tarsus' orders to protect Liz and the others. It had never worked.
He couldn't be Max without her. She was his other half. And she felt exactly the same way. He knew that she would kill him before she would let him give up on them.
And so he wouldn't give up on her. He knew that she was out there somewhere and he would never rest until he found her.
In the end, Michael had risen from his seat next to Jennetta and had gone to lead Alex back to his place beside Izzy. Alex had just been standing there, looking around, lost. Isabel had stopped crying and Alex went straight into her embrace when he sat down. Max had felt another flare of anger.
Tarsus. He was going to pay for this. Big time.
The funeral had finally ended. Max had just wanted out of there, wanted this ludicrous farce to end. He had stood, felt Tess stand beside him, take his hand.
"Are you okay?" She had asked quietly. Max knew that Isabel had convinced them all that he had gone crazy with grief, but Tess sounded open. He had wondered if she would help him. He hadn't talked to her since the day of the fire, had no idea what was going on with her. He knew that she had been on the verge of laying all of her cards on the table with Kyle when they had all been called away from the prom to go to the transformation chamber for Jennetta's rebirth. He had wondered where Kyle was, if that had worked out. It didn't bode well that Kyle was not sitting with them.
Max had felt a pang. Liz would not be pleased. She would have exclaimed that Kyle belonged with them, would have gone to find him wherever he was in that church and would have dragged him to sit with them.
They were already falling apart without her.
"I'm okay." Max had replied. "What was with that song?" He had asked Tess, trying to change the subject. "That was really TOO brutal. Were they TRYING to make me lose it?"
Tess had shrugged. "I don't even know who planned the funeral." She peered up at him. "Max, really. Are you okay?"
Max had just sighed. "I'm sad Tess. Liz's parents are dead and some other poor girl is too. I have no idea who she was, but someone, somewhere, is going to be devastated. But I know that Liz isn't gone. She's out there somewhere. And because that's true, I'm really okay."
"Max..." Tess had trailed off suddenly. Max had felt relieved, sure that she was about to start lecturing him à la Isabel. Max had followed her gaze towards the back of the church, met Kyle Valenti's eyes.
The guy looked terrible - like he hadn't slept in days, which he likely had not. Kyle had made a move forward as though he was going to come and talk to him, when his gaze had shifted to Tess.
Max had felt Tess put her arm around him, steer him in the opposite direction.
"What the...Tess, Kyle's over there." Max had said, perplexed.
"I can't deal with him right now Max." Tess had replied.
"Why?" Max had demanded. "I thought you were working things out!"
"We were. Now we're not." Tess had replied. "I don't want to get into this with you right now." She continued. "Let's just say that I think you're right. I think Liz is alive and I don't want Kyle involved in this anymore."
Max had just stared down at her in shock. "WHAT?" People had turned to stare at them. Max reddened. He had seen his mother eyeing him with concern. He had quickly looked away.
Tess had clammed up after that. Max had been pulled away by Isabel, who had insisted that he accompany she and Alex to the cemetery where the internment was to take place.
Which was where Max now found himself. The others had left him alone at "Liz's" grave site, sure that he would want to be alone with her.
There was no grave stone yet. Maria had told him briefly that it would be simple though. It was going to read "Elizabeth Anne Parker - September 1983 - May 2002 - Beloved Friend and Daughter - She reached for the Stars." Max had liked it, although he had wanted to yell that this was all unnecessary, that all of this pain was false.
Liz was still alive.
He and Michael were going to find the proof of that today. And if it wasn't today, it would be tomorrow or the day after, or the day after that.
Max would not rest until he brought Liz back.
He turned away from the fresh grave, wondered briefly who was buried there, wondered if they would ever know.
The death of that innocent girl was just one more thing Tarsus would pay for - another crime to add to his long list. When Max reclaimed his planet from that bastard, before he handed it over to Michael and Maria's daughter - Jennetta, the Chosen One - his last act as King of Illyria would be to order the emotionless monster's death.
Max was not a vengeful person, but, in this case, vengeance was not even an issue. Justice had to be served. The pain that Tarsus of Dernia had caused would reverberate for generations.
Max set his jaw, went to join his friends. They were standing near the cars, talking quietly.
He was greeted by complete silence as he walked up beside Maria. Max put his arm around her, squeezed lightly. "Are you okay?"
Maria just nodded mechanically, didn't say anything, continued to stare at him worriedly.
Max sighed. The sooner he had proof that Liz still lived, the sooner his friends would stop treating him like he was a maniac on the verge of a complete break-down.
He couldn't wait.
"Ready?" He asked Michael. Michael grimaced, glanced at Isabel. Max's sister was staring at Michael suspiciously.
"Ready for what?" She demanded.
"I told Max I would search the Crashdown with him." Michael replied, sounding belligerent. As usual, Michael was on the defensive immediately. Max looked between the two of them, felt like rolling his eyes. Clearly Isabel was not happy that Michael was "humouring" him in his quest to find out what had happened to Liz.
"Michael!" Izzy sighed in exasperation. She turned to Max. "Max, this is crazy! Will you please just come home with me?"
Max pressed his lips together. "Isabel, if you won't believe me, then I have to ask for help from people who do."
"I never said I believed you Maxwell." Michael cut in abruptly.
Max frowned at him. "But you said you'd help, which is more than I can say for the rest of them." Max felt himself getting angry. He looked around at the group. Isabel looked furious, Maria scared, Alex upset, Tess torn, and Jennetta concerned. "Liz is alive. That funeral was brutal and I know you're all upset, but it wasn't for OUR Liz. She still exists and I'm going to find her if its the last thing I ever do."
"Max!" Isabel exclaimed.
But he ignored her, turned on his heel and stalked away. He was relieved that he could hear Michael telling Maria that he would see her later, to go home and try and get some rest.
Max knew that Liz lived, but he was going to need all the help he could get to prove it. Getting Michael's help, even if it had been under duress and even if Michael thought he was bonkers, was a giant step forward.
Michael joined him at the Jeep a moment later. Max was surprised to see that Tess was with him.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I told you I believe you." Tess replied. "Now I'm going to help you prove it."
Michael just rolled his eyes. "I can't believe I'm going along with this. I barely escaped with my life back there." He eyed Max for a minute and then said. "Maxwell, give me the keys." He ordered. "You're in no condition to drive. Have you even eaten today?"
Max shrugged. "No."
Michael sighed again. "Great. Okay, first stop McDonald's." He put up his hand when Max looked like he was about to protest. "Not a word out of you your mightiness." His tone was the epitome of Michael sarcasm. "Even though I don't buy any of this for a minute, if Liz IS alive, she is going to be severely pissed off if you die of starvation before she can find her way back to you. I've seen that girl pissed and I don't want to see it again." He looked at Tess for confirmation. "It's scary I tell you."
Max blinked. "Okay." He said quietly.
He could wait half an hour. They were finally DOING something.
It was only a matter of time now.
******************************************************************
Tess followed Max and Michael down the back alley that led to Liz's balcony.
She knew that she was going to have a hard time climbing that ladder in her funeral attire, but she had already kicked off her shoes and was willing to rip her dress if she had to. What they were doing was much more important.
Michael and Max were bickering as usual.
"I don't think its a good idea to go up there Maxwell." Michael was saying as Tess joined them beneath the balcony. "The whole place is condemned. We're going to fall through that balcony."
"It's made of stone Michael." Max retorted. He put his hands on the ladder, looked at Tess. "Maybe you should stay down here though."
"No way." Tess snapped. "If you're going up there, I'm going up there."
They had already been into the restaurant area of the building, had spent a good hour sifting through burned out rubble.
The Crashdown was actually in fairly good shape, the main destruction being from water damage. The fire had not been centered there after all.
Liz's bedroom had borne the brunt of it.
Max had been like a machine, relentless, searching under everything for the smallest clue. She and Michael had exchanged more than one concerned look. He was like a man possessed.
Max had only paused once. He had stopped in a spot near the back of the restaurant, had looked up towards the ceiling.
"What's wrong?" Tess had asked him, going forward to take his arm.
"This is where I healed her." He had replied sadly. He had looked around at the shell of their favorite hang-out. "This is going to devastate her Tess. She loved this place."
"Maybe you can rebuild it?" Tess had suggested, reaching for any words to comfort him.
But Max had shaken his head sadly. "Liz can never come back here." He had replied. "My return from the dead was weird enough. There is absolutely no way we'll be able to explain how Liz escaped this fire - especially because there was a body. Our secret would come out. Liz and I are going to have to live somewhere else." He looked towards the counter. "With her parents gone, there's nothing left in this town for Liz anyway."
Tess had felt like crying. Roswell was their home! "Poor Liz."
Max had turned to look at her. He had frowned slightly. "You DO believe me Tess. You do believe that she's still alive. Why?"
Tess had swallowed, but she decided to tell him the truth. She needed to tell SOMEONE the truth. "Because I would know if something happened to Kyle." She had replied quietly. "They're BOTH different Max. You did something to both of them when you healed them. I never realized it until Liz was gone, but I feel them both - feel their presence. It's like when you healed them, you connected ALL of us to them."
Max had blinked. "Hmmmm..." He had murmured. Finally he had taken her hand, smiling sadly. "I believe that. But then why don't Michael and Isabel believe me?"
Tess had shrugged. "Maybe they haven't allowed themselves to feel it. You opened yourself to it because you love Liz and I did because I love Kyle. Neither Alex or Maria was ever healed and so don't have the same connection to us. I'm not saying we don't love them just as much, just that we don't have that little bit of alien holding us together."
Max had nodded. "You do love Kyle Tess." He had stated the obvious, as though it had finally been confirmed for him. "Then why aren't you together?"
"Because what we are did this to Liz's parents." Tess had replied, waving her hand around the burned out restaurant in which they stood. "Tarsus taking Liz is directly related to what we are. It wasn't until this happened that I really realized how we put them in danger Max. I won't risk Kyle. I just can't do it."
Max had smiled sadly again, as though he understood completely but didn't quite believe her. "We'll see." He had said cryptically. "Sometimes we just have to follow our hearts Tess. We don't have a choice."
"I have a choice." Tess told him stubbornly. "Kyle has gone through enough because of us - ME. He's starting to move on. I have to let him. It's the only way he'll be safe."
Max had just shaken his head again. "We'll see." He repeated, going to help Michael move some debris away from the counter.
Tess still didn't know what Max had meant, but she knew that she was right.
Kyle would only be safe if Tess stayed away from him.
But, of course, her staying away from HIM wouldn't be enough. She had to keep HIM away from her too, which was why she had turned her back on him at the funeral. She knew it would take him days to figure that one out.
She hoped that he would get ticked off - he had every right to after all, since she had practically thrown herself at him at the prom. Angry Kyle was the best route to take, because angry Kyle would not confront her, his pride would be too strong.
Tess knew that if he confronted her, she would give in, would tell him how she felt. Maybe that's what Max had meant, that when you loved someone, sometimes the safest route just wasn't a possibility.
And so she had to stay away from Kyle.
Now, as she climbed the ladder to Liz's bedroom, she swallowed hard, trying not to cry. It was going to be torture, hurting him AGAIN.
She reached up and grabbed Michael's hand. He hauled her the last couple of feet to the top.
Max was standing near the window into Liz's bedroom, staring in. Tess could see that the room was completely destroyed. The floor didn't even look safe.
"We can't go in there Maxwell." Michael said to his friend's back. "It's too dangerous."
The balcony was still fairly solid beneath Tess' feet but she could see that Michael was right. One of them was likely to fall through that floor if they tried to walk on it. She gasped when she saw that Max was about to swing himself through the window.
"Max! Get back here!" She shrieked. But it was too late. He was in.
"Jesus!" Michael sounded petrified with fear. Tess' brother rushed to the window, crouched down. "Max! Get the hell back here!"
Max was standing in the centre of the room, looking around. He started rummaging through the debris. "I'll just be a minute." He told them, sounding completely unconcerned. "You guys stay out there. You're right that this floor probably couldn't take all of our weight."
Tess felt her heart pounding a mile a minute as Max moved carefully around the bed. She felt her eyes widen when he suddenly reached behind the shell of the bed and pulled a brick right out of the wall. "I knew it." She heard Max mutter to himself. He pulled a leather bound book out of the wall. "It's still here. It's a little singed but it looks okay."
Liz's journal.
"She told me where it was hidden when she got it back last time." Max told them, picking his way cautiously back toward the window. "It was fairly protected from the fire because it was in the stone wall."
Tess could see that the leather was slightly melted, that the pages were browned, but that, for the most part, the journal was in excellent condition.
Max handed the journal to Michael through the window. He paused before climbing out, taking one last look around. "He's going to pay." Tess heard him mutter. She knew that he meant Tarsus.
Max was back on the balcony a moment later. "You idiot!" Tess screeched at him, smacking him lightly. "You could have been killed in there!"
Max just looked at her steadily. "Nothing is going to happen to me." He told her firmly. "I will not allow it - not until I find Liz."
Michael just sighed in frustration. "Can we go now? There's nothing here Maxwell. I'm glad you found Liz's journal, but its not going to prove anything."
Tess saw that Max's back was stiffening in annoyance, but before he could snap back at her brother, Michael bent over and picked something up. "Hey! What's this?"
"It's a hairbrush." Tess told him. "So? Liz must have left it out here."
But Michael was staring at it in astonishment. The next minute he went flying across the balcony, landing flat on his back.
"Michael!" Tess shrieked. Both Max and Tess flew to his side.
"What happened?" Max demanded.
Michael just stared up at him in complete stupefaction. "You were right Maxwell. Tarsus WAS here."
Part 4
They all met at the transformation chamber later that night.
Maria Deluca frowned in concern when she entered the room where her daughter had been transformed from a little girl into the beautiful young woman she was presently. She felt Michael stiffen beside her. They had gone through a lot of bad stuff in this chamber - and it looked like they were about to go through some more.
Max was already there, pacing, a look of utter impatience on his face.
Most of the others were there too, scattered around the room. Alex was chatting quietly with Tess and Ren, Jennetta's bodyguard, near the five now dark transformation pods. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked exhausted. Maria understood why. They had sat up late the last two nights looking at pictures of Liz and planning her funeral. It had been absolutely brutal and yet cathartic at the same time.
Maria knew that she would never stop missing her best friend. She had sobbed at the funeral, sure that she was never going to be able to go on without her conscience, because that's what Liz was, the person who always made her think before she did anything too loopy. The one time they had been separated, when Maria, Michael and Max had been trapped on Illyria, Maria had ended up pregnant with an alien chosen one, THEN had ended up with her baby torn from her arms and almost dead as a consequence.
Maria had once told Liz that none of that would have happened if Liz had only been with her. Liz had smiled and laughed but hadn't disagreed.
But Maria also knew that Liz would not want their lives to end without her. She would be furious at them all if they let that happen. They had to go on. Liz would be the first to say it...
Maria gazed towards the person who was her reason for going on.
Jennetta was seated on the cot in the corner, watching Max, her dark eyes unreadable. She looked concerned and upset.
Maria could see that Isabel was staring at him too, her frown matching Maria's own.
It always amazed Maria how Isabel and Jennetta loved Max so intensely. She knew that occasionally they even resented each other a little bit because of it. Being his sister was a central component of both of their lives - it might have had something to do with his role as the leader of his planet, but it might be something else too. Maria had no siblings, didn't know what the relationship felt like. She was just glad that her daughter was able to have that relationship with Max, wished that it could be the same with Isabel.
The only one missing - as usual - was Kyle. Maria wondered if any of them would ever get used to his absence.
She knew for sure they would NEVER get used to Liz's absence.
Maria felt her eyes well with tears again as the thought appeared unbidden. If Liz were here, Max would be calm and rational - the great leader he was meant to be.
As it stood, he was clearly on the verge of totally losing his sanity.
It could not be allowed to happen. They needed him. Liz was gone - he would never be the same - but they needed him. Jennetta had to be protected and Max needed to help them do it.
Maria's first concern was for her daughter's safety - and Jennetta had told her earlier that day that the preparations for the return to Illyria, which had been put off due to the tragedy of Liz's death, were going ahead full-steam. They all needed something to focus on - something to make them live again.
The other factor contributing to the rush was that Isabel's nightmares had stopped - completely, entirely, without warning.
Isabel had been haunted by nightmares of her home planet for months now - but their cessation was even more scary. Izzy had told Maria that it felt like the whole planet had suddenly disappeared...and if not the planet, then surely Max and Isabel's mother. For Isabel had figured out long ago that it was Milena who was sending her the dreams.
That was one thing Maria did not understand at all - how this Milena could do that to her daughter. She would die before she ever did anything to hurt Jennetta. She would do anything to keep her safe.
And to keep her safe, they needed Max.
The Four Square, together and strong, was vital for putting Jennetta on the throne - or at least so Ren had told her.
And yet Maria knew that Max wasn't going to be a lot of help. Not after Michael told him what he had to tell him.
Max stopped abruptly when he caught sight of Maria and Michael. "You're late." He told them tersely.
"We don't have any time to waste."
Maria reached out and took Michael's hand. She knew that he was absolutely dreading what he was going to have to tell Max, but it couldn't be helped. They finally had undeniable proof that their Liz was really gone.
Maria had been upset that Michael was going to help Max search the Crashdown, but she had understood why. Michael had no idea how to help Max deal with his grief, thought that the best way to do it was to humour him, to keep him active. Michael had also found it difficult to understand when he was trying to comfort her that she didn't need him to DO anything...she just needed him to listen, to hold her, to let her cry.
She had ended up finding more solace with Alex. He understood what she needed because he needed it too.
And so Michael had helped Max, which in the end was only going to hurt Max more.
Michael had been late picking up Maria. She had been pacing by the door when he had finally pulled up in the Jetta.
"I would have gone with Alex and Isabel if I'd known you were going to take this long." She had snapped at him as she had practically jumped into the passenger seat. "Where were you? Tess and Max picked Jennetta up almost an hour ago. I thought you were with them?"
"You could have gone with them." Michael had retorted, sounding seriously annoyed, more annoyed than he should have during one of their typical bickerfests.
Maria had turned to stare at him. "What's wrong?" She demanded. Michael was glaring through the front windshield, his hands tightly clenching the steering wheel, his knuckles white.
"Nothing." Michael had muttered.
"Michael..." Maria had said warningly.
Michael had just sighed heavily. "I had a flash this afternoon." He finally ground out.
"What do you mean you had a flash?" Maria had demanded. "Where?"
"On Liz's balcony." Michael had replied. "I picked up a hairbrush and it practically knocked me to kingdom come."
Maria had continued to stare at him, waiting for him to continue. Michael had rubbed his face tiredly, finally went on. "It was Liz's obviously. She must have been using it when he showed up."
"Who?" Maria had asked, although the way her stomach had clenched up she realized that she already knew.
"Tarsus." Michael replied, sounding upset. "Max was right. Tarsus was there."
Maria had felt her heart practically leap out of her chest. "So then Lizzie isn't..." She had started to jump up and down in her seat, her joy so great she wanted to fly out of her skin.
Michael had clamped his hand down on her shoulder, gently but firmly. "Maria, don't do this to yourself. Liz is dead. Tarsus WAS there, but she's still gone."
"What do you mean?" Maria had demanded, her hopes deflating instantly.
"I went to see the Sheriff, to ask him how this could be - how they could have gotten it so wrong about that being Liz in that bed." Maria had peered closely at Michael. If she wasn't mistaken, Michael's voice had cracked. "Max was so thrilled Maria. I mean he never believed it anyway, but to finally have the proof...but I had to know for sure."
"I don't understand Michael." Maria had been seriously confused. "What did the Sheriff tell you?"
"They just got the forensics back." He had taken his eyes off the road to glance at her. "Dental records." He elaborated. "It was Liz."
"Why didn't we know this before?" Maria had demanded. "The Sheriff WASN'T sure?"
"Well, who else could it have been?" Michael replied. "He was sure enough - and he was right. It wasn't like he lied to us."
"But I don't get any of this. Why was Tarsus there?" Maria had asked, shaking her head at all of this horrifying information. The evil shapeshifter was back - the one who had stolen her baby from her...
"The only explanation is that he started that fire." Michael had answered evenly. "He killed her Maria. He killed Liz. Her death is OUR fault." Maria had heard the guilt in her boyfriend's voice. Michael and Liz had not been close, but he had loved her - just as they had all loved her.
They had sat in silence the rest of the drive to the compound. Maria had let silent tears trickle down her cheeks. Liz - poor Liz - had never had a chance. She had been murdered because of who she was to Max.
This was going to kill Max. He wasn't going to survive this news.
And the moment of truth had arrived. They had to tell him.
"Well?" Max was looking directly at Michael. "Tell them Michael. Tell them what you saw this afternoon." Maria could see Tess, still standing near Alex, moving closer to Max, obviously trying to show that she supported him.
Maria held her breath. Michael looked like he wanted to be sick. "Maxwell..."
Max frowned. "Michael, tell them! You had a flash. Tell them you saw Tarsus."
"I saw Tarsus." Michael repeated mechanically. "It's true. I did see him." He said quickly when Isabel stood up in irritation. "I had a flash - just like that time with the key to Atherton's house. Izzy, he was there." Michael insisted. Isabel's expression reflected her shock.
"Michael, tell him." Maria whispered. "You can't leave it like this." Michael flinched.
But the moment was lost. Ren stepped forward. "How can this be? The only way to get here is through the portal and Mirana," he indicated Isabel, "has to open it."
"I told you. Obviously there's another way. Danala got here somehow after all." Max said calmly. Ren looked perplexed at that. "And now we can figure out what we're going to do about it...how we're going to get Liz back."
"Maxwell..." Michael tried again. Maria wasn't surprised when Max ignored him. He had heard what he wanted to hear. He was in full leader-mode now.
"We're obviously going to have to go through the Ring in England. We don't want the timeline to get all screwed up." Max said, sounding like he was mentally planning. "But we need to figure out what we're going to do once we get to the planet. The Ring is under Dernian control now. We can't let them take us the minute we come through."
"Maxwell..." Michael stepped towards his friend, put a hand on his shoulder. "You have to listen to me." He said seriously. For the first time ever Maria suddenly saw the man Michael must once have been - Tristandor of Dernia, Max's right-hand man and closest advisor. He voice was quiet, authoritative and firm, like he was used to giving Max news he was not going to want to hear.
The room was deadly silent. Everyone except Max seemed to realize that there was a lot more going on here than just finding out that Tarsus had been back on Earth.
Max blinked at Michael. "What's wrong?" He asked, sounding irritated. "Whatever it is, it can wait. Liz is in the hands of that maniac and I refuse to allow her to stay there a minute longer than necessary."
Michael swallowed hard. "Max, she's not there."
"What do you mean? Of course she is." Max said dismissively. He turned towards Ren, looked like he was about to ask him something.
Michael went ahead in a rush, determined to get it out this time. "Max, the Sheriff got the forensic report back today. The dental records....they match. That was Liz."
Max froze. He just stared at Michael. "What?" He shook his head. "I don't get it."
"Max, that was Liz in that bed. The dental records match. Tarsus was here - he very likely started that fire - but it doesn't change the fact that Liz died in that fire." Michael looked pained at having to be so brutal, but they had to get through to Max. He HAD to start accepting this.
Maria shivered. The expression on Max's face.... She hoped she never saw the like again. He looked absolutely astounded, but terrified as well, as though if he let this information penetrate he was going to totally lose it.
"Max..." Isabel was moving towards him, her hands outstretched. Jennetta was close behind her.
But Max was already shaking his head. "No, its impossible." He said, his voice faltering. "I would know if she was dead." Maria saw his certainty begin to harden his face. He looked at Tess, who was staring at him like she had seen a ghost. "Tell them Tess. Tell them what you told me earlier - that you can still feel her too."
"Max...I...thought..." Tess croaked. "I was so sure...but if the Sheriff says that the dental records prove it..."
"Tess, Tarsus is a shapeshifter." Max said, rolling his eyes. "Don't you think he could have gone into that dental office to change the records?"
But Maria was fairly sure Tess didn't catch that because Isabel had already rounded on her. "What did you say to him Tess? Why would you play along with this? You had to know it was only going to hurt him more in the long run!"
"Izzy..." Alex grabbed her by the hand.
Isabel wrenched away from him. She now had a target for her frustration and grief and she wasn't about to stop now. "Why would you do such a thing? You ARE still trying to get him aren't you? You played the sympathetic little waif, hoping that in his grief he would turn to you!" Isabel barked out a laugh. "God - Kyle was right all along! I should have known it! Liz is gone and its smooth sailing for you now."
The rest of them just watched the scene play out in absolute horror. Maria wanted to do something, say something, but she was completely frozen. Tess' face was crumbling. She looked trapped...and devastated.
"ISABEL! Stop it!" It was Max. Maria swung around to stare at him. He didn't sound like someone who had just had his entire world end. In fact he sounded mightily pissed. "This isn't Tess' fault." He moved forward and put his arm around the small blonde, who was trembling. "She's the only one who believes me at all. She's the only one here who's REALLY my friend."
"Max, what do you mean?" Isabel demanded. "I'm your sister. I love you."
But Max ignored her. "I find it completely ironic that Tess is the only one who understands the bond that Liz and I share." Max said. "I would know if she was dead. That's all there is to it." He looked at each and every one of them in turn, his brown eyes blazing with fury - Isabel, Michael, Maria, Alex... "Don't take it out on Tess just because you don't want to believe that the bond we share is special...and I'm NOT just talking about Liz and me anymore...all of us..." He pointed at Michael. "WE saved your life - the bond between us saved you. None of you gave up on ME when I was gone...why are you giving up on Liz? I just don't get it. She would NEVER give up on any of you."
And that was when Maria knew it. No amount of physical proof was ever going to convince Max that Liz was gone. He was completely insane...they couldn't help him because he didn't want to help himself.
She felt tears begin to fill her eyes. They had already lost Liz...what were they going to do without Max too?
"Max..." Isabel tried again. Her face was completely white with shock, but she wasn't going to give up on her brother. She would try and get through to him until it killed her.
Max's voice was shaking with disgust. "Don't even say it. I don't want to hear it. I'm leaving. I can't be with any of you right now." He turned on his heel, stormed out.
They all stood there staring at each other for what felt like an eternity.
"Oh God." Isabel finally broke the silence, her knees giving out on her. Alex barely caught her before she collapsed onto the stone floor. "What are we going to do?"
Maria wished she knew.
