Part 9

The Citadel, Illyria

Liz ran her hand down the front of the volume once more and finally flipped open the cover.

October 28, 1999

Dearest Honeybear,

Liz felt her heart stop. Tears began to form in her eyes. Only one person had ever called her "honeybear" - the one person she had loved above all others before Max Evans had patched a bullet hole in her abdomen over two and a half years ago.

Her grandmother.

And Liz suddenly remembered every single minute of the night Tarsus had brought her to Illyria.

Tarsus had not lied. She HAD chosen to come.

She had chosen to leave Max.

Roswell, New Mexico - eight days earlier - the night of the Prom

Liz felt a gentle hand stroking her hair. "Liz? Wake up. We're here."

She lifted her head off of Max's shoulder, yawning. "Are we home?"

She blinked. She hadn't realized that she had fallen asleep. She looked up at Max, glanced into the back seat of the Jeep. "Where is everyone?" She asked. Michael, Maria and Jennetta had all been back there the last thing she remembered.

"They're at home in bed, which is where you should be." Max replied, kissing her lightly on the top of her head. "Everyone's exhausted. We all need a good night's sleep to get up the energy for what lies ahead."

Liz was tired but she wasn't THAT tired. She pouted up at him. "So are you trying to tell me that you're not coming up?" She asked innocently. "I am feeling mildly insulted here Max. Isn't prom night supposed to be "the" big night?"

Max raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you propositioning me Miss Parker?" He asked, sounding prim but with an underlying note of amusement. "I'm sorry but I am a gentleman."

Liz lowered her lashes. "We'll see about that." She replied before throwing her arms around him and kissing him breathless.

Liz had felt in complete control of this situation until she felt his mouth start to move down her neck. She wrapped her hands in his hair, pulling him closely against her.

Max was flushed when she finally pulled back. She could feel her own heart beating at about fifty times the usual speed. She wondered if she would ever get enough of him?

They had agreed awhile ago that neither of them was ready to move on to the next step in their relationship. There was no question that they were together for good, but a sexual relationship was a serious thing to both of them. They wanted to be careful and responsible. While Jennetta was well loved by all of them, she had definitely NOT been planned and Michael and Maria had had to endure a lot of heartache because they had let themselves lose control that one time.

If there was one thing that Max and Liz had most in common it was their need to be in complete control of their lives. They had so little control over so many other aspects, this one was one place neither of them wanted to make a mistake. And so they had made the serious decision together.

But they had been moving dangerously close to the edge lately. Sometimes Liz's love for Max almost overwhelmed her to the point that she just wanted to tell him that they should throw all of their grandiose promises out the window....she loved him and wanted to BE with him.

She knew it wouldn't be tonight - they were both exhausted and when it finally did happen it was not going to be a spur of the moment thing.

Liz sighed, ran her hand down his face lovingly. Why did he have to be so darn beautiful to her though? All the good intentions in the world were no match for the expression that was currently on his face. He was looking at her like he wanted to attack her - in a good way.

"Well, I think you convinced me." Max finally managed to tell her in a strangled voice, sitting back. "But I can only stay for a while." He was breathing heavily.

"I'll see you in five minutes." Liz told him, bouncing out of the car. She could feel Max staring after her. It felt like his eyes were burning into her soul. It might take him more than five minutes to recover. It gave her plenty of time to lock up and say goodnight to her parents.

She needed some time to recover herself too.

Liz let herself through the front door of the Crashdown, was not surprised to see that her father had left a light on for her. She paused behind the counter, poured herself a glass of water. It was when she put the glass down in the sink that she noticed the package sitting on the counter.

Liz narrowed her eyes. She went and picked it up, saw that the note on top was in her father's handwriting.

She examined the package carefully. It felt like a book. She opened the note, her curiosity peaked.

"Dear Lizzie,

When your mom and I saw you leave with Max tonight I think it finally hit us that you are all grown up. You looked so beautiful sweetie, but I was a little sad too because for the first time I saw you as the young woman you have become and not as the little girl I wanted you to stay. We've tried to protect you for so long, tried to let you grow up independent with the right to make your own choices.

Looking at you and Max tonight, I think the choice was made a long time ago.

I know you must be shaking your head right about now, wondering what on Earth your dorky old dad is talking about. Well, this book says it better than I ever could. I've never been very good with words Lizzie. My mother was always the silver-tongued member of our family. It might be why you were always so close to her. You could talk to her about things - things that I found difficult to say.

Your mom and I decided that it is time for you to have this. Remember a few months ago when you asked us if you were adopted? We didn't lie to you. You're not honey. You're my flesh and blood as much as you are your mother's.

But you were right about one thing. Our heritage is a little different then what you might expect. I have known for a long time but it never really mattered to me. But I think that it might matter to you. And so I give this to you with all my love. It's yours anyway. Grandma always intended to give it to you herself. We just didn't expect that she would be taken from us so soon.

We also didn't expect that you would be the one this book speaks of. It was a hell of a coincidence. Your Grandma knew before she died. She seemed somehow at peace didn't she? She wrote the preface to this the same night that she went to the hospital. I saw her writing it, never understood why it seemed so important to her at the time. I think she knew her time was coming. She didn't want to leave you without her blessing.

That's what this is Lizzie. It's a love story and a blessing all wrapped up in the story of a girl who loved a boy but couldn't be with him. Her story is OUR story and will be YOUR story too I think, if what I see between you and Max is real. I'm pretty sure it is honey. I know how I used to look at your mom when we first met. Max has that look.

Anyway, enough blather from me. This is yours. Read it and decide for yourself what it means for you. We can talk about it after you're done. Your mom and I are always here for you. Never forget that honey.

Love Dad"

Liz felt like her heart was in her throat when she was done reading her dad's loving words. She felt tears of affection for her parents trying to squeeze their way out of her eyes. She flipped through the book, saw her grandmother's familiar handwriting, realized that it was her journal.

What a completely precious gift.

Liz swallowed, pulled the journal close to her heart and bit her lip. She wondered what her dad had meant with all those mentions of Max. It was very weird, but she knew one thing.

The key to why her face was in that book Tess had found in the alien library was likely clenched to her chest at this moment.

And Max was upstairs waiting for her.

Part of her wanted to fly up the stairs and out onto her balcony, throw herself into Max's arms and then go through the whole thing with him. This was evidently about both of them if she was reading her dad's letter properly.

But another part of her, the cautious part, the part that remembered how leaping before you looked could end up...it stopped her.

The destiny message had taught them all that lesson too well.

She needed to do this alone first. She had every intention of sharing this with Max, but in a way she NEEDED to do it alone. This was her grandmother, HER family. Clearly Max was involved, but to what extent she had no idea.

She would go up and spend a wonderful hour in her boyfriend's arms and then she would read her grandmother's journal.

Tomorrow morning she would call Max and tell him everything.

*************************************************

The Citadel, Illyria

Of course tomorrow had never come.

Liz had kissed Max good-bye on her balcony and had woken up in a cold white chamber on Illyria.

She shivered as she remembered how that had come about...

****************************************************

Roswell, New Mexico - eight days earlier

"Sweet dreams." Liz whispered against Max's lips, hating to see him go, wishing as always that he didn't have to. But in the back of her mind, her grandmother's journal called to her....

"Don't worry." Max replied lovingly, his dark eyes smoldering. "I have every intention of dreaming of you. I'll see you in the morning Liz."

"First thing." Liz insisted. Max had smiled that smile he only reserved for her and moments later he was gone.

Liz waited until she heard the Jeep's motor start up and the car pull away before she moved. It took all of her effort. She felt frozen, scared.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe she should call Max, leave him a message, ask him to come back...

NO! Stop being silly, Liz ordered herself. This can't be bad. Dad would have said something in his note. He wouldn't have just sprung this on me. He would have prepared me if it was bad.

Liz quickly retrieved the leather bound book off of her bed. She returned to the balcony, curled up under the blanket, the precious volume cradled on her lap. She could still feel Max in the air, felt his presence all around her.

She could do this.

Liz bit her lip, opened the cover.

October 28, 1999

Dearest Honeybear,

This is a letter more than a journal. I write it tonight after an amazing coincidence that I still have not quite grasped. The moment the name "Max" fell from Maria's lips this evening, I knew that what I had always dreamt of for you was about to come true.

I have been watching your Max for a long time my Liz. I don't know how much you know about who or what he is, but if he is truly what you hinted he might be - your soulmate - you are destined for a journey that I must prepare you for.

Let this journal serve as a guide. It is an explanation of who you are and where you are going - IF you choose to follow the path on which you have only just taken the first steps. For you still have a choice my Liz. I have only tried to ease your path slightly with my actions. I hope that someday you will understand.

I have been keeping a journal for a long time - longer than you can possibly imagine. You know this. It was I after all who gave you YOUR first journal, back when you had just learned to read and write. I saved the first page of this journal for the days before my death - for the days when I would write the dedication for whom it was intended. I knew that someday it would go to someone special - someone who had been chosen by my king. I always secretly hoped that it would be you my darling girl - I suppose that somehow I always knew that it would be.

If you are reading this then your father has found the courage to give it to you. I know that it scares him, what this book contains, but it is not bad my darling. It is what is meant to be - what could only have happened to two people who followed their hearts. I hope that when you have finished reading this, some of your questions will have been answered. I also hope and pray that your ending with your Max is what mine should have been.

Remember above all else my honeybear - follow your heart.

All of my love,

Your Grandma

Liz felt the tears streaming down her face by the time she had finished her grandmother's inscription. She missed her so much. Her grandma had been one of the few people who had ever really "gotten" her. It was very rare to find those people. Max was one. Maria another. Alex too. But her grandma had been the first.

She flipped the page over, felt her eyes widen...

"Well, well, well. I knew you'd be happy to see me Liz, but I didn't expect tears of joy."

Liz gasped. Her head snapped up and she watched in incredulous horror as the wall next to her window seemed to come alive. It began to change, ooze, glow, until the wall was suddenly back to normal.

But she was no longer alone.

"Tarsus!" She knew it was him. He had taken River Dog's form again, was staring at her blankly.

"Right on the first try. Most impressive." He moved forward, plucked the journal out of Liz's lap. He flipped through it passively. "What have we here? A little light reading?"

Liz just stared at him, frozen. She thanked God that Max had gone home when he had. He was safe. Now she just had to figure out how to keep him that way.

"What do you want?" She demanded, trying to keep her voice steady, strong. She could show no fear. She had tried to do the same the last time she had confronted this maniacal shapeshifter. She had succeeded in getting answers from him that last time, that time at the Santa Anna Hot Springs, before all hell had broken loose. She could do it again.

"The question is WHO do I want?" Tarsus replied, sounding completely unconcerned. "And you know the answer to that question little human."

"Max." Liz said evenly. "That isn't going to happen."

"Not just Jaxon." Tarsus corrected. "Although I wouldn't mind hauling his traitorous carcass back to the Ring for judgment. No, who I want is much more important. I want the little chosen one."

Liz set her jaw. "What on Earth are you talking about?" She demanded. She had no idea whether Tarsus and Danala had been in contact during Danala's reign of terror. She would not be tricked into giving him information that he might not have.

"Tisk, tisk Liz. I was there the day she was born, or did Maria not tell you the whole story?" Tarsus asked, shaking his head. "I know all about Jennetta and it is time to take her back to claim her throne."

Liz stood up carefully, moving towards the window. "We have every intention of putting Jennetta on the throne." Liz told him. "But YOU are not going to have any part of it. Your time is over Tarsus."

"Is it?" Tarsus smirked at her. "We'll see." He was still flipping through Grandma's journal. "What is this anyway?" He glanced down at the page his meandering had landed him on. "Andrina? Hmmmm..." He glanced up at Liz. "What is this?" He demanded again.

"It's mine." Liz told him, moving forward to snatch it away from him. Tarsus held it just out of her reach though.

"I think not. I want to get a closer look at this." Liz stepped back, scowling at him. Her heart was pounding in her chest at twenty times the normal speed. She could not allow him to see her fear.

He seemed to peruse the journal forever although she could tell that he was not really reading it. He seemed to have the scanning ability that Max and the others were still trying to perfect.

Tarsus finally looked up, still smirking. "Well, well, well..." He said again. His gaze raked from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Liz suddenly felt incredibly dirty. "This is VERY interesting."

He was not going to get to her. "You have to know that I am never going to let you anywhere near Max OR Jennetta." Liz told him. "Why did you come here anyway?"

"I wasn't sure until just now." Tarsus admitted. "Something drew me here...fate perhaps." He lifted the journal. "This I suspect. Andrina's essence is still all over it."

Liz frowned again. "That was my grandmother's." She snapped. "Who is this Andrina person you keep talking about?"

Tarsus sighed. "I see that I interrupted your reading too soon little queen."

Liz blinked. "What did you just call me?" She managed to whisper after what felt like three years.

Tarsus merely stared at her. Finally he stepped forward, picked up a lock of her hair and let it fall through his fingers. "You really are exquisite aren't you? Almost as lovely as Mirana in your way."

Liz felt her skin crawl, took a step back. "Don't touch me again." She ordered, her voice shaking. "Max will kill you for this."

"Hmmmm...we'll see." He said again. He tilted his head. "Well, I think my plans have changed. I think that our goals might intersect after all my beauty."

"What do you mean?" She asked, fright beginning to truly claim her. She did not like the way his eyes were glinting. His elderly face - the countenance of a man who had been truly kind and wise - was overshadowed by those glittering eyes.

"I only have one question for you Liz." He stepped towards her again. "Would you come with me if you knew that all of your questions about your history and your future could be answered?"

"Never. I'd rather die." Liz replied, trying to make her voice drip with disdain. She wasn't as good at it as Isabel, but he seemed to hear it. His eyes flared with something again - respect this time she thought.

"Well, let me rephrase that then." Tarsus shrugged. "Would you come with me if it meant that I never bothered your Max OR the little chosen one again?"

Liz's heart stopped.

He had just offered her the one thing she was willing to die for.

Max's safety.

"Why should I believe you?" She whispered desperately, looking for a reason to turn him away again.

"Because I have no cause to lie." He lifted the journal casually. "This has shown me that you will do quite as well as either of them."

Liz could feel the air closing in on her. She felt as though she was caught in a web, one of her own making. How had he known exactly what would bind her to him?

"He'll come after me." Liz told Tarsus as she forced herself to step up to him. The minute he had offered to leave Max alone, the choice had been made.

She would do anything to protect him - even leave him.

"Don't you worry my little queen. There will be no one to come after." Tarsus replied silkily, bringing his hand up to her face.

The next instant everything went dark.